Disclaimer: Supernatural are not mine... but Kripke's.
Dean is trying to get rid of the memory out of his mind. He still got the picture perfectly clear, every detail, and every word. He never thought it would end like this, he thought she would go...peacefully. He thought he would have some good memory of her when she was leaving, even though he had to let her go. They had their last kiss and everything, then why she had to go like that. It was so unfair. Because for Dean Ruby deserves more than what he already had.
Dean went to the Crossroad demon, to make sure for himself. Sam said that's unnecessary, because Cas already said that Ruby is not back to the pit. But Dean won't listen.
He summoned a crossroad demon, a girl wore black dress with red eyes showed up. Dean threatened her with the Colt, asked her where Ruby was or he will shoot her.
That was useless.
She knew that the Colt is got no bullets, and he was aiming with an empty gun.
"I'm not scared with that useless toy." She stared him, "Ya know, Dean. We…the Hell citizen, got this loathing to you. At first, we really liked you...and thanked you," she rolled her eyes, "But who knew the starter would ruined everything."
"Shut your pie hole, just tell me, I wanna know where is Ruby? She's not there, right?"
"Sorry, I can't help ypu, Dean. I lost my backpack and I can't find my friend Boots." she teased him, with hands lean on her hips.
"Just tell me where she is, bitch!"
She scoffed, "I'm wasting my time here." She turned her body.
"Wait!," He grabbed the knife and quickly strangled the demon, and stabbed her.
He should've not killed the demon, he just pissed.
Dean thought about it, when he decided to get over her, so many times he tried to forget about it, but he can't. It was not that easy. He always saw her face everywhere. And because they hunt demons, even though Lilith is gone, demons are still everywhere. And there's a problem. Every time they were dealing with demons, they always said to him that Ruby is actually down there.
"She's screaming down there! She's calling your name, Dean!"
"She's crying for help from you!"
"Lilith is enjoying her time torturing her!"
Dean believed in them and he became unsteady, it always almost got him killed, even though Sam convinced him that she's not at the pit.
They were back from hunting, and this time Dean got injured pretty bad. It was like the rarest incident that someone like Dean would get hurt easily. Dean's leg is bleeding, right on his right thigh near at his knee, he's leaning on Sam's shoulder, and Sam's carrying him in to the motel room, putting his big brother to lie down on the bed.
"What the Hell, Dean? You can just blow his head off or stab it with the knife! You almost get killed by a common demon!" Sam takes the first aid kit box.
"I got distracted. People screwed up sometimes." He hissed.
Sam helps Dean patching his wound, "If this because of Ruby..."
"No! It wasn't because of her!" he cuts Sam. He grunted, held the pain when Sam finished taking care of his leg.
"Then what the fuck is going on with you?" asked Sam. "It wasn't the first time!"
"I DON'T KNOW! Okay?" he shouted at him. "I don't know, Sammy…"
"You know what? I think you better back off for a while, I can do it by myself." He said without looking at Dean while he's washing his hands.
"What? What do you mean?"
"I think you better take some day off, no hunting-saving people things, you can go to Bobby's." Says Sam, "After all, your leg is hurt. You can't go anywhere."
"What the Hell? Who are you telling me what to do?"
"I'm your brother."
"Well, I'm the older brother."
"Oh yeah? Because you're always right. Right?"
"Then tell me why the hell you screwed up everything there? It was only one little-easy-to-kill demon, Dean!"
"Oh, come on! You pissed off and then you put me into this? What a bitch!"
"And you're a jerk!" Sam pulls his phone out, "I'm calling Bobby to pick you up."
"Sam!" called Dean, while Sam dials his phone, "Sam!" but his little brother still won't listen to him, "Alright! Alright!" Dean scoffed, "You're right!"
Sighing then pursing his lips, Sam puts this phone on the table and sits across the bed towards Dean. "Why, Dean? This is not like you, so not like you. I know you can handle it, because you are...Dean."
"Maybe not this time, Sam." Dean leans his head on the pillow. "Maybe I'm sick and tired of this job, of what we're doing. We used to deal with monsters, demons and everything what's in the dark." He sighs, "How many years we're doing this, Sam? Continuing Dad's job, don't have normal life. I should've never pulled you into this job again, you're supposed to go to college, friends, and Jess…"
"Oh, crap! You're the one who said that we're cursed. You can't have everything you want!" Sam stands up.
"I know... I know..."
"Maybe I'm not supposed to have someone. I'm a jinx of my own personal life." He rubs his eyes.
"No, Dean. It wasn't that." Sam stares at him, "I think it's just because of Ruby. You're making excuses, Dean. Cas already told you before!" Just the exact time Dean heard the angel's name Dean scoffed and muttered 'not again'.
"Yeah, right. All I gotta do is trust the angel. Why? Because they work for God or they got those pretty wings and halos?", Dean rolled his eyes away. "Ya know, Sammy, you are so naïve, that's why you always buy this shit from them. Was it because mom told us that the angels are protecting us? Come on!"
"But this shit fucked you." Sam strikes him back.
"I did not!" he's making a higher tone. "The problem is I can't… I just…" Dean stops, he's out of words.
"What?" asked Sam, but it sounded more like shouting.
"I don't know." He turns his head and makes himself comfortable then closes his eyes.
"Dean…" Sam's calling him, he knows that Dean's trying to avoid him.
"I'm tired." Dean takes a pillow and covers his face with it, "I'm going to sleep."
Sam scoffed, "I can see what's going on with you Dean. You're angry, feeling guilty of Ruby, you loved her, and she's gone, because of you, for you. You wished that she'd never leave, you just hate the fact that she made a deal for you and you knew that the deal ain't free. There's no one else that you can accuse, Dean, not even Castiel. You just don't have the faith that she's not at the pit."
Dean's pretending to sleep and not listening to Sam. He sighs and walks to the door and leaving Dean alone.
Actually, Sam is right.
He's angry, mad at something that he couldn't, and Castiel are the only one who gave her the deal and he's the one who still around, and he was there when it happened. He can't save the girl he loved, or she has already been saved?
And Dean wishes that he could blame Castiel, but he can't and he must not, because that was not Castiel's fault. Ruby made that deal for him, and Castiel was just doing his job, so, he can't put all the blame to Castiel.
It was a cold night, Sam has already snuggling behind his blanket, snoring. But not for Dean. After changing positions several times but still didn't make him sleep, Dean went outside. And it was just another night of his sleeping disorder.
Sitting on top of the hood of his Impala, drinking beer, didn't know how much bottles that he drank, maybe two and he knew all the liquid inside of him are not giving warmth for his body.
But this time he needs a moment to be alone.
He rubbed his face. He watched a piece of paper flew in front of him. Slowly the wind blows stronger, and he can feel the cool breeze from the back of his neck.
He knew it.
"Come out. I won't bite." says Dean while turning his head.
A man wears a long trench coat shows himself from the dark, "Hello, Dean."
"What are you doing here, Cas?"
"I just want to see you."
"Now you see me." says Dean as he wide out his arms then drinks again.
Castiel nods and looks around, like doing some inspection. Dean watches him, Castiel just standing there, looking at him, didn't say a word and he hates this silence of awkwardness. "You can join me here." says Dean.
The angel seemed a little surprised when Dean asked him to join him. Then he walks to him, following Dean sitting on the hood, but his long trench coat got him a little trouble and when he did it. When he's sitting next to Dean, he sighs, signing that he finally made it, almost makes Dean laughs but he covers it by drinking his beer again, it's funny seeing an angel attempted to act like human.
"Drink?" he offered him. Cas didn't take it, he just watched the bottle on Dean's hand, "Right, angels don't drink." and Dean drinks again.
"Dean... Why you were saying you won't bite me?"
"Oh... It was some kind of..." He stops, "Never mind, it was nothing."
"On the first time I met her, she said those words too."
But Castiel already gave him another question. "Dean, are you mad at me?" turning his head to face him.
Dean clears his throat. "Who said that?" he drinks again.
"It's because of Ruby, am I right?" Dean almost spilled his beer when Castiel mentioned her name. Castiel continues, "She made a deal for you."
Dean wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
"You loved Ruby so much and she loved you, too. Both of you had connection. That day I saw her crying, she looked so sad. I never thought a demon could have feelings like human."
"She's different." He's starting to feel uncomfortable with this conversation. "Could you please, don't talk about her?" He said it with gap in every word.
"I don't want to hear her name."
"But I thought you loved her." Castiel confused.
"Why don't you just tell me exactly why the hell you're here?"
"I just wanted to see you."
"Then why don't you just watched me from up there, I bet you had your favorite spot." Dean is pointing at the sky.
"And I want to apologize."
"It seems that you're mad at me."
"I did not." his tone gets higher.
"Human. They always search someone to blame, even there's no one else to blame."
"Whoa...wait. Did you just mock me? That's my kind you're talking about! Sorry, if we're not perfect like you, winged people."
"No offense. But that's what I learned about human."
"Oh, now you're a human expertise." says Dean with sarcastic tone.
"I want to know, how come you, Dean, love someone like Ruby?"
"Why you wanna know?"
"And you're sad, because of her." said Castiel again.
"Hey. If you wanna ask something, that's okay. But not about her, anything but her, except you can bring her back."
"I can't bring her back, I'm not allowed..."
"Well, I don't care!" he frowned, "Do you think I accept this? Do you think I know that she's okay? Can you tell me that she's okay? That she's not back to the pit?"
"Yes and you just need to have faith..."
"I'm sorry, I can't."
"Did you know that I'm hoping… wishing, don't know how, that she will be back?"
"Dean, you prayed?"
Dean scoffed again and then slowly he's off the hood. "Whatever, I'm done here."
Castiel follows him, "Wait, I was just asking, was that bad? Dean, Ruby…"
"I told you, don't talk about her!" he cuts Castiel. "You promised me that you'll walk her, with you. Then suddenly that lightning came and she just vanished in front of my eyes and you said you got nothing to do about it? You're not off the hook, Cas! I saw that lightning, Sam said it was just like when it ganked Lilith! How can I'd have faith with that? And I even still can hear her screaming in my head! You think by dropping your ass here and having this chit-chat with me would make everything's okay? It's not like 'I'm sorry', 'that's fine' and then we're buddies. For the last time, don't teach me about faith. You know nothing about me!" he yelled.
"Dean, why don't you just admit that you're angry? That you're mad at me? I already told you, there was a conversion, unfortunately there's nothing I can do. It's beyond my range, and I mustn't disobey."
Dean didn't say anything, he's looking at somewhere else, and because he knew the angel is right.
"I'm terribly sorry, if there's anything I can do to help, I'll do it for you. You have my words." Castiel puts his hand on Dean's shoulder.
Making a long sigh, Dean starts to walk, then stops. "Look, I'm sorry." Suddenly he smirks, "But you know what? I think I'll just get over it. For real. Just like I said before, I should've never had that thought. Ever. There is no hope, no higher power crap, there's no such thing. I'm sick and tired of this, and I gotta stop." He opens the door. "Thanks."
Castiel looked a bit shocked, "No, Dean." He's looking at Dean with pity. "Dean." Castiel called him again. But Dean are already entered the room leaving the angel with confusion written on his face.
Dean is lying on his bed again. Dean knew that he wasn't being nice with Castiel, again. He should've not done that. He pissed off because he was in the middle of trying to over her, but Castiel came and saying her name again, as matter affect he talked about it.
But from tonight, he promised to stop blaming the angel again.
Dean looks at his brother, who's sleeping like a dead man.
Dean takes his cell-phone from his jacket, he opens the image gallery menu, browsing name of files until he selects at a file named 'Ruby". He stares at it for a moment. He's staring at a picture of Ruby. She didn't look at the camera, because it was a snap shot photo. He smiles. He remembered when he took this picture.
Sam, Dean and Ruby was at the bar, they were drinking and laughing together, having a great like normal people time after they finished hunting and went straight to the bar. He remembers this moment is when Sam told her about how silly of them when they were kids and she really laughed at it. That night she looked so perfect, so, without her permission and she didn't know what Dean was doing, Dean took a picture of her with his camera phone. The moment was just right.
He hits the 'option' menu, and he selects it.
[Are you sure you want to delete the image 'Ruby'?]
Funny, he felt like his phone was actually asked him.
All of this time Sam was right, and he was over-reacting, he was denying. He must go on with his life. He needs to make peace with himself.
He holds his phone tighter,
then he puts it under his pillow right away. Gazing at the dark empty ceiling, so long, then he swallows hard and there he goes, "Goodbye, Ruby." Then he closes his eyes.
Dean wished he could erase the memories just like when he pushed the button of his phone, he wished it could be that easy. She may not a human, not perfect but he knew that she's a perfect match for him, and he still loves her, because Ruby is the best thing in his life.
Yesterday they have finished hunting for werewolves and today, they're having their break time before carry on their next journey for another hunt.
The younger Winchester yawns, "Hey, you got nothing to do, why don't you buy something for breakfast? It's your turn." said Sam while he's stretching his body.
"Okay." Dean takes his bag on the bed, searching for a clean shirt to wear. "Pack your stuff. After that we're leaving." then he puts on his shirt.
"I'm going to take a shower." Then Sam goes into the bathroom.
When Dean is in the middle of packing, and he turns his body, he jumps. "Geez!"
"You're leaving?" Castiel are already there, standing near the window.
"Stop doing that!" he grabs his jacket, "Yes, we're leaving. We're done here. What is it this time? You want to check me in? Cause I'm about to checking out." He smirks.
"No." Castiel replied. "I just want to say that you're wrong."
"You just need to have a little faith about her and I know you have it."
"Are you giving me some free speech again?" he zipped his bag. "Sorry buddy, I told you I had enough and I'm not into some election, I'm a neutral."
"You'll find out and in the end you got to trust me and you will." Castiel looks serious.
"What?" he turned his face to Castiel. But Castiel has already gone. "Great." Dean muttered, turning his eyes. Suddenly Castiel came to him saying that he was wrong, what was that supposed to mean? Did Castiel was talking about…?
Could it be…?
Dean tries to calm down, he takes a long breathe.
He finished packing, while Sam was still in the bathroom. He takes the car keys and leave.
Dean goes back to the motel, with food, carrying a paper bag and two cups of coffee for him and Sammy. He put them on the passenger seat and starts the car. Not long, is phone is ringing, it's Bobby.
"Dean, you guys are still in Maryland?"
"Yeah, we're just about to leave, we're done here. Why?"
"There's something I need to tell you, but it's..." Bobby's voice sounds doubtful.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No, um... It's just a.. How am I gonna say it?" he's muttering.
"I should have told you before, cause I don't know how you're gonna trust me. Well...this is it."
"What is it?"
"She was here, Dean. I almost couldn't trust my own eyes. But I think it's really her."
"Dean... It's Ruby."
His heart stopped, it can't be. Every time he convinced himself to over her, people saying her name.
"I'm sorry. Who?" he raised his right eyebrow.
He laughed, "No way."
"Yes way." Bobby replied.
Dean paused for a moment, "Bobby, are you sure?"
"How did... What was she doing at your house?"
"She's heading to your spot now."
"What?" He paused for a moment, "Bobby, I don't think... Really? She looked like Ruby?"
"What the Hell? You don't trust me? Like this was some kind of a joke?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." Dean chuckles.
"If you don't trust me, just wait until you see it by yourself! Idjit!" Bobby hung up the phone.
"Hello?" Dean frowned and put his phone back to his pocket. Looks like Bobby was not in the mood. Actually, he's panic right now, not that literally panic, but his head are spinning right now.
When he walks and he finds the motel room's door are a little bit open, Sammy is talking with someone, then he stops at the window to takes a peep first.
He can't see it clearly behind the curtain, all he knows that Sam is talking with a girl, she's standing in front of Sam, so he couldn't see her face, all he saw that the girl had a long blonde hair.
His heart is pounding. "Ruby?"
Is it her? She's here? Maybe she's back! Castiel brings her back!
He slammed the door, "RUBY?"
She turns her head.
"Dean." She smiles at him.
"What did you just call me?" she asked.
"Umm.." Dean clears his throat. "Hi, Jo." Scratching his head and put all the food he bought on the table. Sam pursed his lips, looking at Dean and smiled awkwardly, because he just called Jo with 'Ruby'. So Dean must say something, but he's out of words, until Sam grabs it,
"Coffee?" Sam grins, offers her a coffee.
Apparently, Jo is on her way to go home and she knew that Sam and Dean are in town, so she's stopping by to meet the boys. Almost shocked them, they thought she was ran away again from Ellen, but she wasn't. After having a family reunion, she wants to continue her ride to the Road House, Sam and Dean accompanies her to the car.
When Sam opens the car for her, she asks, "Sam, who's Ruby?"
Sam paused for a moment, because he knew that Jo had a crush on Dean, he's searching the right answer but he says, "No one." He smiled and tapped her shoulder, "Drive safely."
"It was someone that Dean loved, right?" she glared at Dean, who was standing far behind Sam, gave her a wave, after she replied it Dean went back inside. "I can see it, Sam, when he was calling her name, the look on his eyes. He would never stare at me like that. He thought I was her…"
"Yeah…" he made a gauche smile and closed the car for her.
Jo starts the car, "I guess there's no hope for me…" she shrugs, makes a bitter smile.
While Dean walks up the steps into their room, he watches Sam and Jo are still talking and when he arrives at the doorstep, he found the door was open again, maybe Sam forgot to shut it and when he opens the door, he froze.
A girl, she's wearing dark skinny jeans and a white fitted shirt, black leather jacket but still showing her curvy body. And what makes him shocked, she had a pair of blue eyes, blonde hair, bright skin and everything that makes her exactly looks the same like...
"Dean." she smiles in relieve.
Is this real?
It can't be. He saw her dead, well not dead in stop-breathing kind of way, but he saw the thunder has taken her away, and he had no clue about it. Then suddenly she just popped out in front of him...again?
"It's really you?"
"Yes." She nods, "It's me, Dean. I'm back."
Dean watched her from up and down. Trying to believe what he saw, Dean should be happy because he saw Ruby standing in front of him, but IF she does Ruby. She looks the same, her face, her hair, everything?
"What's the matter, Dean? This is Ruby, in the flesh." she grinned, made a cocky smile like she always did.
Then his 'hunter' mind is running. In the flesh -means meat suit -means could be demon possession. Maybe this is her true meat suit owner, but if this was the sick-possessed girl, she won't claim herself as Ruby.
"Whoa...Okay, if you said so." he pulled out his own flask filled with holy water. "First, you know what you gotta do." Dean raised the flask.
"You don't trust me?" she frowned.
"You could be someone else, or something. Can't trust a stranger that easy these days." he handed the flask to her. "It was just a holy water. It's harmless, well...it depends."
First, he must check on her, she could be a shape-shifter or anything. His mind are turning right now, between, he supposed to feel glad as a man who finally met the girl he loved or thinking as a hunter.
"Go to hell." She turned her body.
She grabs the door knob, but he catches her arm.
"I'm sorry. Actually, I tried it, you know, everything, but I failed. I've been looking...searching where actually you have been!"
"You don't trust me!" she pushed him.
"Look, I'm sorry, I got rough days!" he stares at her, "please…?" he softens his voice.
Then she snatched the flask off him. She opens it, drinks the holy water and nothing happen. "Happy? What's next? Silver?" she gave him a sharp-knife look.
"But how? I saw you...dead...or some kind of dead!" Now Dean feels terrible.
"That's why I'm trying to tell you. But since you're a 'good listener' I haven't got my chance to drop it."
"Okay! Okay... It's my bad, my ears are open now."
She stares at him for a while, then she continues, "I woke up on a bed in a hospital, which means, I must've been... unconscious. I can't remember how I got there, then I feel something different, I feel like I'm actually breathing. That just weird, then I looked at myself on the mirror, I am that girl, I don't feel her in this body and then I found that my eyes are not black anymore."
"I don't have a place to go. The only thing that goes on my mind are you..." she sighed. "And Sam of course, sure both of you gotta be at somewhere else, so I went Bobby's. He freaked out when I came, because his house are full of...you know, traps and bad mojo proof. And strangely, I passed all of the tests. And...I'm hungry right now." She rubs her tummy. "And I can't find a place to eat."
"Whoa, that's sound... so human...yeah." He nods, "So you are Ruby."
"Just like I said." She bit her lip, "And I'm scared."
"Come here." Dean walks approach her, with he makes a move to hold her.
"No." She stops him.
"No, it's not that. I…" she touch her chest, "Something's wrong..." she moves backward slowly.
"What is it? You got hurt?" He looks worried.
"Something's…pounding inside me."
Dean curled his eyebrows, and then he chuckled. "That's normal. Perfectly, normal."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He smirked. "God, have you forgot what was like being human? I mean, you remembered it when you're still a demon."
"I know… I don't know, Dean." She sighs, "I feel like me, but it doesn't feel like me." She's shaking her head. "It confuses me."
"Ruby, it's okay. Trust me."
"I feel different."
He smirks, "Well, I like this new-different of you." He moves closer and leisurely puts his arms around her, "Are you scared when I'm doing this?" And she replied it by shaking her head, the truth is, she feels good. It feels so nice.
Then Dean put his hand on cheek, "How do you feel when you're looking at me like this?" his face is so close to her, they're gazing at each other.
"I feel like..." she looks at him, she can feel her heart is beating faster. "I miss you, so much."
He smiles and he moves closer and he presses his lips on her.
Dean pulls out and nods, "I think you got your second chance." he smirked "Or third?" he raised his eyebrow, "Oh, well..." then he kissed her again.
After this, Dean must find Castiel. He must find the angel, to thanked him and everything.
Sam came in and he jumped when he found them 'busy'. "Oow. Sorry." Dean and Ruby breaks away,
Sam are looking at Dean and stop at Ruby, "Ruby?"
"Hi." she waved at him.
"How come...you..." Sam points his finger to Dean then Ruby. "What..."
"Not now, Sammy. Could you please, you get something for lunch?" Dean is making signs with his eyes, then throwing his car keys to Sam.
Sam smiled at Dean, "Oo..kay." Sam took his jacket. "Glad to see you back, Ruby. Y'know Dean was pain in the ass when you left." He teases Dean and makes Ruby chuckles.
"Get out!" Says Dean and Sam laughs while he closes the door.
Sam walks to the car, he's smiling at the picture that he just saw. Finally they're back together again.
Sam sighed, then he drives the car to the diner, and his phone ringing, he looks at it and he makes a wide smile, "Hi. I was just about to call you." he's out from the car, "Yeah, I'll make sure of Dean that we're going to New Paltz this time." He chuckles, "Yeah, I miss you too, Sarah..." his sound is fading when he enters the diner.
"Now where were we?" Dean smirked, and Ruby kissed him again.
"Hmm... You tasted good, Winchester."
"Are you gonna eat me now?" he smirks.
Okay, I know the end was… I don't know. But I want a happy ending, well, at least on my first fic.
THANK YOU for everyone who keep on reading Second Chance, and thank you for mentarisenja for EVERYTHING (*hugs) and BecksRylyn for inspiring me. And thank you for all of you who alerts it or who makes my fic as your favorite. Dean/Ruby is amazing pair. Ever.
Thank you! xoxo