This story is a one-shot outtake that expands on the end of Ch. 20 of my Post-Eclipse fic, "The List." You do not need to have read the rest of the chapter or even the story itself to understand this outtake (although I certainly hope you'll be inspired to read The List if you haven't already!) Part of the dialogue in the beginning of this chapter is taken from Eclipse, pp. 494-95 and 504. No copyright infringement is intended. SM owns all things Twilight. Enjoy!
This outtake originally appeared as part of the Smut Mondays series organized by Ninapolitan: http://www . twilighted . net / viewstory . php?sid=834&textsize=1&chapter=31 (Thanks for the invite to contribute to that, Nina!)
Despite the conservative era of my birth and my proper upbringing, I couldn't help succumbing to improper thoughts of my beloved Bella from time to time. I was a man, after all, and Bella was a beautiful, sensual, wonderful girl, young woman really, a young woman who had increasingly been expressing her desire for me.
She expressed it in the way her heart raced when we embraced. She expressed it when she grasped at my hair to hold me to her when we kissed. She expressed it in the disappointment I saw when I had to pull away. She expressed it in the aroused scent I was smelling more and more frequently when our kisses became heated. And she was increasingly expressing it vocally as she slept. That was the hardest for me because she was so much freer with her expressions than I could ever allow her to be when she was awake. It was very clear to me that Bella was…ready for more, much more.
I found it terrifying. And exhilarating.
And I couldn't help it. It got me thinking about what that 'much more' might entail.
A century of seeing into others' minds gave me a huge catalog of images and fantasies to pull from. The problem was that while I found many things appealing, my fantasies tended to trend towards things I had a hard time imagining doing to or with a wonderful innocent girl like Bella. Bella deserved to be worshipped, treasured, made love to, didn't she? That's what she would want, isn't it? Thinking so made me feel all the worse when my fantasies were considerably less worshipful and more, well, shall we say…rough…possessive…dominating…. Ugh.
Perhaps if we hadn't been going through what we were going through at that time, I wouldn't have so fully developed fantasies of these types. It was the whole situation with Victoria and her newborn army, and the fact that we needed the wolves' help to successfully defend against it, that helped shape a good bit of the fantasy material in my head.
First, because that situation strongly brought out my protective instincts. Bella. Was. Mine. And I would have done and did do whatever I had to do to protect her.
Second, because that situation strongly brought out my jealous instincts. Requiring the wolves' assistance meant greater interaction with Jacob, who took every opportunity to shove his own fantasies in my face. Fantasies of Bella big and round with his child. Fantasies of laying with Bella in his own bed. Fantasies of Bella screaming his name as he….
Third, because in the midst of that situation, Bella finally agreed to marry me. She had agreed to be mine forever, to join her heart and soul with mine before God, man, and immortal. And while I certainly imagined the sweet lovemaking that would hopefully be possible on our wedding night, I had to admit that the idea of her being Officially Mine did fuel the possessive fantasies, a bit.
All of this came to a head when Bella, Jacob, and I were trapped in that damned tent together the night before the battle. Jacob was having quite a moment with my beloved, able to provide her what I could not – warmth. It was galling, actually. I was so jealous that night that I could barely see straight. And his fantasies, and her occasional nighttime murmurings about "my Jacob," did little to help.
Time and time again I pleaded and demanded for Jacob to reign himself in.
He really started to get out of line once Bella's body relaxed against him and she fell asleep. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. "Please!" I hissed in an effort to maintain civility in front of Bella. "Do you mind?!"
"What?" he whispered back, surprised.
"Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?"
"No one said you had to listen," Jacob muttered, defiant, though still embarrassed. "Get out of my head."
"I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."
"I'll try to keep it down," Jacob whispered sarcastically.
A few moments later, Jacob started to relax into sleep. "Sleep well, Jacob. Enjoy the moment." Because you'll never get one like it again.
His fantasizing began almost immediately.
Not again. I groaned. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."
"Sorry," Jacob whispered, although his mind belied his apology. "You could leave, you know – give us a little privacy."
"Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob?" I offered, already imagining how easy it would be to bring unconsciousness to the mongrel.
"You could try," he replied, unconcerned. "It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"
"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't that perfect."
Jacob smothered a laugh. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind." He projected his observations to me about how tightly Bella's warm body was wrapped around his massive form and I began humming to myself to try to drown out his thoughts.
That was the night I came up with the sexual fantasy that thrilled me the most, made me the hardest, and, when I allowed myself to succumb, never failed to get me off the fastest and with the greatest intensity.
Given the situation, I didn't feel the least bit bad as I thought up my little revenge fantasy...:
Bella and I arrived at the campsite in the afternoon, several hours before Jacob was set to arrive. We got the tent situated. Bella was nervous, tense. I wanted to help her relax. In my fantasy, it was a warm spring day, not the freakishly cold and snowy day we actually endured. So we decided to go for a walk around the campsite area and get a feel for the perimeter of our encampment. Bella liked the idea because it gave her a sense of usefulness, of being included and in-the-know.
Fantasy Bella traded out the sensible jeans and boots she had actually been wearing for a form-fitting dark blue tank top and a flowing white skirt. Her long chestnut hair fluttered around her in the breeze, bringing her luscious strawberry scent to me in tantalizing gusts. We walked for a while, enjoying the warm air, holding hands, enjoying soft touches, and talking. It worked; Bella began to relax.
At a certain point the trail turned into the sunlight, catching the highlights in Bella's hair and making her flawless skin glow. I grasped her hand tighter and pulled her to me, needing in that moment to taste her full lips.
"Bella," I murmured, before pressing my needful lips against hers. Immediately she responded, her heart racing, her breath hitching, and her arms coming up to wrap around my neck so that she could tug and fist at my hair. I love when she does that.
"Oh, Edward," she rasped as I kissed across her jaw, allowing her to catch her breath.
I leaned back against the large tree behind me, pulling her body into mine as I continued to place kisses on the sensitive spots behind her ear and down her throat. I felt her swallow thickly and the working of her throat muscles against my lips was so erotic. My mind couldn't help but wander to the idea of those same muscles working around my cock. That thought instantly made me hard.
Bella felt my need for her and pressed her body into me, fisting her hand in my hair tighter. I reciprocated by fisting my own hand in her long locks and tugging gently backwards, causing her head to fall back and allowing me greater access to her throat and chest. She moaned and whimpered as my lips and tongue explored and I smelled the scent of her arousal. Oh yes.
It was her words that started to break me down though, her pleading getting to me as it always did.
"Please, what, Bella? What do you need?" I murmured around open-mouthed kissed and hard licks across her collarbone.
"You, Edward, I need you."
"I'm here, Bella," I rasped, purposely ignoring what I knew she was really asking.
"Yes, but…oh God…Edward, I...I need you inside me."
I pulled my head away from her body and guided her head up so that I could see into her eyes, which were alive with need and lust and desire.
"No, Edward, you listen to me." Her voice was forceful and I found this side of her surprisingly appealing. "Neither of us knows what is going to happen tomorrow. All we know, all we have, is this moment. Right here. Right now. Tomorrow could bring…," she couldn't go on. "But today, right now, everything is perfect. Everything is as it should be. I want you…no, I need you, right now, while everything is right. Please Edward."
"Bella, everything will be fine. There's nothing to worr—"
A tear traced down from her left eye, followed quickly by another from her right. "Please, Edward," she whispered.
How can I resist her? When she's asking for something I want so badly myself? She's already agreed to be my wife. And she will be, as soon as this whole mess is over.
"I just need to feel you, Edward," she pushed on as she gently stroked my face, "I just need to know we were here, we were together. I need us to have this moment in case…." Her voice cracked and the sound of her fear and anguish overwhelmed me.
"Oh, Bella. I can resist you nothing. But," I looked around, "here Bella, like this? You deserve so much better. You deserve romance—" She pressed her fingers against my lips.
"All I want is you. Being with you in any way would perfect. Please."
I hesitated and she sensed it. She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "Please," she whispered. She slid her nose across my jawline to my neck and kissed there. "Please." She pushed up on her tiptoes, sliding her body against mine, and pressed her lips and her hot breath against my ear. "Please." She brought her hands up to my chest and grasped at my shirt. "Please."
Oh God. Oh God. I shouldn't. Do it. She wants you to. But…no buts. How can you deny her? She deserves better. She wants it here and now. And so do I. I know but….
Then Bella bit down on my earlobe. Hard.
I couldn't help the growl that escaped me. Nor could I help noticing the increased scent of her arousal that followed my growl. She fucking liked that?! Oh God.
I lost myself.
"Okay, Bella, you want me?"
"God yes," she moaned.
"I want you too, baby. So bad."
"Oh, please, Edward," she rasped as she rubbed herself against me.
"Don't beg, baby. You never have to beg for me again."
I pushed her off of me and held her waist as I guided her to take a step back. "Can I see you, Bella? Can I see your beautiful body?"
She nodded shyly and together we lifted the blue tank top over her head. Her hair spilled around her shoulders, long tendrils of it falling to the tops of her heaving breasts. The white lace bra that covered her was sweet and sexy at the same time but it was blocking what I wanted now so desperately. I stepped forward and placed kisses along the top edge of her bra, causing her to pant and push against my mouth, as I reached around her and unclasped the lacy garment. It fell to the grass at our feet and she gasped as the breeze blew across her sensitive skin. Her nipples pebbled immediately at the sensation.
"Beautiful," I murmured as I cupped her breasts in my hands and enjoyed the warm weight of them. I kissed all over her full mounds until finally I had to take her peaks into my mouth. Taste her! And fuck if she wasn't the most exquisite flavor I had ever had the pleasure to savor. Wrapping my lips carefully around my teeth, I sucked her into my mouth. She wrapped her arms around my head and held me to her, moaning out pleas to me and God. "Bella, you're fucking exquisite," I praised as I switched breasts. I laved my tongue against her, thrilled at how responsive her body was to me.
The subconscious need caught me off guard but I instantly agreed with it.
Yes. More. Everything.
I felt one of her hands grasping at the hem of my shirt. "Edward, I want to see you too. I want…oh God…to feel you against me."
I stepped away and tore the shirt over my head then immediately embraced her body against mine, bringing our bare chests together for the first time. We both moaned at the contact and fell into a fiery kiss that obviously heightened Bella's arousal and that caused my cock to now ache.
Get. Inside. Her.
Slow. Gentle. Remember this is Bella.
But just then, remote snippets of someone else's thoughts began to invade my mind. Jacob. Jacob's coming. Fuck.
In that moment, I had two choices: risk disappointing Bella by pulling away yet again. Not advisable or desirable. Or, continue on and risk getting caught. Bella would be embarrassed, but I bet her happiness at our intimacy would ease that. Plus, Jacob…Jacob. Would. See.
Fuck. I grew infinitely harder. I'm not stopping for him. "Bella, I want you now. I need you, too."
"Say that again, Edward."
"I want you. I need you, Bella. So bad."
She moaned and clawed her nails against my shoulders. "I love hearing you say that so much. Show me, Edward. Show me how much you want me. Show me you need me. Please."
Fucking yes. My mind began to race, running through ways to do this, to make it safe, comfortable, and enjoyable for her. Finally an idea came to mind and I smiled darkly at the picture of it in my mind.
"Turn around, Bella, and place your hands around this branch." She complied readily, lifting her arms above her head to hold the branch, and gasped at the sensation of how exposed the position made her.
"Fucking beautiful," I murmured as I cupped my hands around her breasts from behind. I slid my hands down the soft curves of her waist to her hips and slowly gathered the material of her skirt in my hands, hitching it up until it was gathered around her waist. The position revealed the seductive white lace panties she wore. I groaned at the realization that her moisture not only saturated the fabric but also collected on her thighs. "Oh, Bella, you're so damn wet for me," I ground out as I stroked my fingers against the slick skin of her inner thigh.
"Edward, please, I need more."
I'll give you more, baby. "Spread your legs for me, Bella," I commanded, thrilled at how she yet again so readily complied. I thought for a moment – I really didn't want to disturb the beauty of her position before me. So finally I wrapped my hands in the lace fabric of her panties and ripped – the lace shredded easily and Bella whimpered at the realization of what I had just done. I brought the wet lace to my face and inhaled, allowing my tongue to flick out against her moisture. Oh fucking hell that's God damn exquisite. I need more of that. I want to bury my face in that. Just as I was about to kneel down, though, the snippets of thought became somewhat more pronounced. Dammit I don't have the time. Fucking dog. I shoved the lace in my pocket as I considered what I wanted to do next.
I still want to make sure she is ready. Not just wet, but fucking needing me to be in her.
I knelt down after all, but restrained myself for now from what I really wanted. I placed open-mouthed kisses along the backs of her thighs while I reached my hand forward and began stroking her amazingly wet, hot, soft folds. Her legs began to tremble. My hand was almost instantly coated with more of her flowing juices.
"Oh God, Edward, that's amazing…oh…oh my…yes…fuck Edward!" she screamed as my fingers came in contact with her clit and circled it firmly. Fuck yes. Hearing her scream my name is my new favorite sound. And 'fuck' rolling off her tongue has got to be the one of the most erotic things I've ever heard.
"That's it baby. Just feel. Feel me. Just let yourself go, Bella. I've got you."
She writhed and moaned and grunted and cursed and her sounds were making me ache for her. I could have fallen to the ground and kissed her feet when she called out, "I need more, Edward. Please. I need you in me. I just…please, Edward…oh God!"
I stood up immediately, undoing my jeans and pushing them down off my hips. My aching erection sprung free and slapped against her bottom. She whined and pushed back against me.
The outsider's thoughts attempted to invade again. There's no way we're not getting caught. I smiled inwardly.
"Bella, are you sure?" I asked one last time as I began to rub my cock along her folds, coating myself with her arousal. Please say yes, please say yes. At that point, it would have taken every ounce of discipline I'd garnered in a century of existence not to sheath myself inside her.
"Edward Cullen, fuck me. Now!"
That was the point at which I apparently fully freed our fantasy selves from all the usual inhibitions of our true characters.
"Your wish is my command, Isabella," I replied lowly, my voice full of desire.
I positioned my cock at her entrance and slowly pushed forward.
Oh, holy Mother of God this is the hottest, slickest, softest, wettest, tightest, hardest thing I have ever felt and God I want it all and for it never ever to stop fucking hell
Fantasy Bella felt no pain as I buried myself fully inside her. She grunted and wiggled herself against the fullness of me in her, but quickly we were engaged in a slow but hard pace. I curled my body around hers, my hands grasping alternately at her breasts and shoulders, as I thrust again and again.
"It's so good, Bella, so fucking good being inside you." I'm home. I'm fucking home. What the fuck was I waiting for?
"God, Edward, I feel whole. You're filling me up. It's so…ungh…."
His thoughts were clear now. And way too focused on my Bella for my taste. The distraction made me growl in disgust. Bella whimpered, bringing my attention fully back where it belonged.
Oh God I never knew. "Bella, oh baby, you feel so good. You're so tight. I'm…ungh…I feel like I'm…losing my mind, baby."
Bella didn't respond with words. She simply slammed her hips back into mine.
I hissed and saw stars behind my eyes. "Fuck, Bella!"
As she did it again and again, I realized I was growling nearly non-stop, it sounded almost like a loud, rough purr to my ears. Bella was mumbling and whimpering. When I saw her bite down on her bicep I knew I wouldn't last long. In that moment, her teeth were surprisingly appealing, particularly as I was trying so hard to ignore mine, which were nearly tingling with anticipation.
"Don't hold back on me, Bella. I want to hear every word. Every grunt. I want it all, Bella."
"Fuck, Edward!" she screamed as she released her teeth. "It's so good, Edward. You're so big. It's….ah…oh…."
One arm still cupped around her shoulder, providing me leverage to thrust into her, I brought the other arm down and around the front of her hips. I pressed my fingers into her slick lips and quickly found her clit.
"Oh, yes! Please, Edward. Faster. Please!"
I rubbed her more firmly as I picked up the pace of my strokes, loving the feeling of her moisture coating us so thoroughly.
Where? What the fuck? Jacob had arrived at the campsite. What is that…? No. No, no. There's no fucking way....
I grinned against Bella's back. This was going to be interesting.
"Baby, I want you to feel good. Do you think—"
"Yes, Edward, just don't stop. Don't you fucking stop!"
"I won't, Bella. Feel me baby. Feel how much I love you."
I felt his eyes on us from the end of the trail closest to the campsite. I didn't acknowledge him. Yet. His mind was nearly devoid of thought, in shock of the scene before him.
"Bella, oh God. I love you. I…ungh…I fucking love you, Bella. You are…my whole life."
"Oh, I…I love you…too, Edward. Oh God. I'm…I think…."
"Yes, Bella. Come for me. Give yourself to me, baby. Show me what only I can do to you."
I'm gonna fucking kill him.
"Look at me, baby. I want to see your face when you come." She turned her head over her left shoulder. Her eyes were glazed with desire. I saw it the moment that she saw him. But then she clenched her eyes closed and screamed.
"Oh…oh Edward…oh my God…Edward!" Her face was a beautiful mask of satisfied passion. Her body clenched around me, milking me with an intensity I never expected. That sensation combined with my intense pride in her calling out my name pulled me over the edge with her.
"Fuck, Bella!" I hissed as my orgasm hit. I finally looked to my left, quickly finding the outraged and murderous eyes of Jacob Black thirty feet down the trail away from us. "You're mine, Bella, only mine," I roared as my orgasm burst through me in wave after wave.
"Yes, Edward. Only yours. Oh my God. Yours."
I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face then as Jacob processed our words. While he watched helplessly, I pressed an open-mouthed kiss onto Bella's back, then mouthed 'Mine' to him. Fucker.
Fantasy Bella turned around, spied Jacob in the distance, and though her blush belied her embarrassment, she still couldn't help herself. She turned her gaze back to me and kissed me with as much passion as she could muster. "That was fucking incredible, Edward. I love you, always."
"I love you too, my Bella."
This fantasy did much to appease me that night as I was forced to lay there and suffer the love of my life lying in the arms of my biggest rival and mortal enemy.
As I lay on my bed the day before my wedding, trying desperately to pass the hours until I could see my love again, until she would be my wife, until I could actually make love to her for the first time, I couldn't help the straining erection that began to take over my thoughts. Just a few days ago I had found Bella's list of fantasies – the existence of which floored and thrilled me at the same time – and my cock had been ready to stand at attention nearly immediately ever since. The contents of her list went a long way to reassuring me that Bella and I were not as sexually incompatible, if her fantasies were any guide, as I had been fearing we might be.
Thinking of just how colorful some of her fantasies were, I couldn't help the wash of anticipation that came over me. I can't wait to explore some of her, my – oh God, OUR – fantasies in the days to come. At that thought I pulled my cock out of my jeans and began stroking, sorting through some of her list items and some of my own to get me where I so badly needed to be.
From her list: 11) IN MY MOUTH
From mine: Bella straddled across my body, impaled on my cock.
From her list: 6) Against the cold tiles in the shower
From mine: Bella bent over and bound to a stool as I plowed into her from behind.
From her list: 15) Submit
From mine: Bella's legs wrapped around my waist as I took her against my bedroom door.
From her list: 25) Role Playing: teacher, doctor, police officer, vampire
I stroked harder. Faster. Then I settled on the fantasy of mine that always got me there, the one I thought up that torturous night in the tent:
Bella grasping onto a tree branch in the woods, her hair wild in the breeze. She'd be screaming my name as I claimed her from behind. Jacob would see and I would mouth 'mine.' Fucker.
My possessive fantasy did me in and I came in streams against my stomach and shirt.
I cleaned up.
And time crawled.
But I could be patient a few more hours. Tomorrow, Bella would be my wife. Nothing – and no one – would ever get between us again.
Hope you enjoyed Edward's little possessive fantasy! Please review!