Ace Ventura On The Case

If there is any ***s, that just means that it's a replacement of letters in a bad word. Lots of people in the movie talk bad.

I don't own anything here. Just Cedric, the other dude that fell, the 3rd guy that fell, and the doctor.

Would Somebody Move The Fat Guy?


Something happened to the friggin' dolphin, Snowball at the Miami Dolphin's stadium. The bad thing is-it's almost Superbowl time.


But if anyone can help, it's me- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. There was a little dog that was lost from this hot babe in the apartment next to me. I was a mailman too, so I went to this guy's door to give him the magazines he ordered. I wonder if he's married, because there was a Victoria's Secret catalog along with a Justice (store) clothing magazine.

"Excuse me, sir. Is this your wife's and daughter's magazine?" I asked.

"H**L NO!" He bellowed.

"Then...then who's is it?" Creepy.

"It's mine." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry, fatty say what?"


After that, I took the puppy at the door and ran. Hehe. The lady who lost the dog was so happy! It crawled on top of her back, and she cuddled it for what seemed like forever. "Thank you so much, Ace. Would you like to go out sometime?" She asked.

"_______________________" is what I said. Nothing. But I should have said, "Oh, sure. That's be nice." She glared at me and said, "Well?"

I ran.

That's the story about how I got to save a cute little puppy, with beady eyes, and a furry tail. Wait- do you give a d**n?

It's off topic, but true. Okay, here's what happened at the friggin' dolphin's tank:

"Uh, excuse me sir. What's going on?" I tried to ask politely.

"You talkin' to me?" The man said.

"Yes, ma'am. I mean sir. I mean poo-bah!" Here comes a punch.

"What'd you call me?"

I gulped. "MOVE!"


"Yeah, b***h! What happened to the dolphin, fatty?!"

"Fatty? Nobody calls Cedric fatty."

"Why are you talking in 3rd person?" I crossed my eyes and ticked him off.

"I'm Cedric. Gotta problem?"

"Not really, fat a**."

"That's it!" He yelped.

He punched me in the nose, and before I knew it, I was on the ground.

"Would somebody MOVE THE FATTY?! He's in the way!"

That person fell with a thud.

"Excuse me. What happened to the dolphin? And your face?" The other dude asked me.

"I was in line to see what happened, but I don't know. And, I called Cedric over there fatty."

"Woah. Same with me."

"Would somebody please move the fatty?" The 3rd guy was on the ground.

An ambulance was nearby. Cedric went to court, and I got crutches.

"Now then, doctor. Do you know what happened to Snowball?"

"Snowball has been stolen. They need a detective to help."

I sprung up from the bandages.

"Leave it to me."

"Crap. OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Do you think that was funny? I don't know. But, it's my second Fanfiction story, and the first chapter to this. Please R&R!