Bad Ideas Gone Wrong Productions presents

There Will Be Half-Blood

A R.O.D the TV fanfiction by Geoduck

Warning: Contains the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince spoiler.


Anita massaged her throbbing temples.

"Explain to me again why we're here?"

"Because Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the sixth volume of J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series goes on sale here tomorrow."

"So that's why we're waiting outside of a bookstore at 11:00 p.m.?"

"Don't think of it as simply waiting outside of a bookstore. Think of it as sharing an experience with millions of other Harry Potter fans worldwide, who are all waiting just like us at this exact moment!"

"Uh, I think you're wrong, Michelle. Remember time zones? They've already gone to bed in Australia, it's early afternoon the day before it goes on sale in England, and they're just waking up in America. So in reality, there aren't that many people waiting up right now."

"Well, millions of Japanese Harry Potter fans, then!"

"But it's not even being released in Japanese yet! This is just the English-language version! The only people waiting up for it are foreigners and a few total book nerds."

"Oh, hi Anita! You're here too?"

Anita motioned to the just-arrived Hisami as if to say 'I rest my case.'

"Well, we would be waiting with a lot more people if Maggie had agreed to fly us all to Sydney or Auckland for the occasion like I asked her to do."

"But Michelle, when I do the giant bird thing, I can't read at all. For hours." Tears pooled up in the corners of Maggie's eyes.

"Yeah, whatever," grumbled Michelle, unmoved.

"And this bookstore doesn't even open until 9 a.m. Again, why are we waiting all night when we could just sleep in our own beds and get up in the morning and come here like normal people?"

"Well, this time gives us a chance to go over the other books in the series once again, and an opportunity to talk about what we think might happen in the new one. For instance, I think that Hermione and Ron…"

Michelle paused when a car, brakes squealing, pulled up next to the store where they were waiting. A man leaned out of the open window. "SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! It happens at the end of the new book! Snape kills Dumbledore!" Before anyone could react physically, the car peeled away from the curb.

From the few people waiting besides the Paper Sisters and Hisami, there came the sounds of groaning and a yelled curse word or two.

Anita glanced at Michelle, then stepped away from her oldest sister, pulling Hisami with her. "I'd get out of Michelle's way, if I were you."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Well, my big sis doesn't take kindly to people who try to ruin others' enjoyment of books."

An almost-visible aura of rage surrounded Michelle. A copy of Order of the Phoenix was quickly transformed into a bow and ammunition.

Maggie, very reluctantly, tugged on Michelle's sleeve. "S-sis?"

"Not a damn word, Maggie. I'm gonna go Voldemort on his ass." Four quick shots with the bow stopped the car in the middle of its getaway. Ominously, Michelle slowly strode to the now-incapacitated vehicle.

"Anita? She's not going to kill that man, is she?"

"Don't worry about it, Hisami. She's just going to hurt him. A lot."

"Oh good. As long as it's a lot."


Author's Note: This ficlet was originally written in the wake of the release of the sixth Harry Potter volume. I have revised it slightly and given it a new title.