Fandom: Wicked – bookverse but more musical characterizations.
Pairing: Primarily Gelphie with a tiny touch of Fiyeraba.
Summary: It was just a crush. Glinda was sure.
Notes: This took me way too long. It didn't really turn out how I wanted it to, but I had to get it done or it would drive me insane. Dedicated to someone who will never, ever see this, ever.
Notes 2: Seventh in my table of Wicked prompts.
Once upon a time, Glinda had hated her.
Glinda was sure of it; at the beginning of the year, she had hated Elphaba. She had hated the way Elphaba spoke, the way she studied, the way she could make Galinda feel young and silly and uneducated. She hated the way Elphaba seemed completely uninterested in boys and popularity, and even in making friends. Most of all, Glinda had hated that, on the rare occasions that she had offered a tentative friendship toward Elphaba, the green girl had be so ungrateful as to refuse. Surely, Galinda thought, on many occasions, surely Madame Morrible could have picked someone else – anyone else – to be her roommate?
And then, something changed.
"Are you going into town?" Elphaba asked, as Galinda picked up her bag, and at Galinda's nod she gathered up her own things and came with her. It wasn't until they reached the coffee shop, still debating the merits of female education in what was still clearly a man's society, that Galinda realised that they had done it all as if by habit, as if they had been friends for all their lives.
It was a strange friendship, but a close one. Elphaba was not much for physical contact, but Glinda bestowed it on her anyway, and surprisingly, Elphaba let her. She started to spend time with Elphaba's friends, those strange boys from Queens, and of course Boq, who thankfully seemed to be recovering from that silly infatuation with her. Glinda managed to enjoy herself with Elphaba, and with her friends, in a way that had never let herself before.
And then, one night, Glinda had a dream. It starred Elphaba, and it starred Glinda, and it starred the two of them doing things that Glinda had never done with any boy she'd let court her. And after it, things had changed again.
It was just a crush, Glinda was sure. It would fade. She would find someone else to think about. And anyway, it was perfectly normal to fantasize about one's roommate, when they were as close as she and Elphaba. Glinda wouldn't let it bother her.
But it didn't go away. It got stronger, and stronger, until Glinda almost breathe for the weight of it. So her behaviour changed; hugs lasted a little longer, innocent touches lingered, eyes met and held, and through it all, Glinda pretended she had no idea what she was doing.
She told herself she had cause for hope. Elphaba had taken to waiting up for her when she came home late. She would let Glinda lay on her bed with her as they studied, and she seemed to like winding her fingers through Glinda's hair as they talked, combing out knots and twisting the blonde locks into shape. Once, she even held Glinda's hand of her own accord as they walked to class together.
Elphaba are remarkably chummy," Pfannee noted one day, a suspicious
gleam in her eye. "And the way she looks at you – I'd watch out
if I were you."
"I haven't any idea what you mean," Glinda said instantly, though her heart had begun to race. Pfannee simply snorted in an unladylike manner and turned away. Glinda dared to hope.
It wasn't until later that she found the nerve to do anything. Even then, it took several drinks to get up her courage, before she drew Elphaba away from Boq and Crope and Tibbett, and nervously confessed her feelings to Elphaba. Elphaba looked at her for a long moment, and then picked up Glinda's hand.
"Glinda," she said, and then she didn't have to say anything else. Glinda knew. They returned to the boys, and Glinda tried to smile, tried to pretend that her heart wasn't breaking.
"You're right," she said later, while they got into their respective beds. "It's silly. It'll go away." She blew out the candle. Elphaba didn't reply.
Friends, Glinda thought. Just friends. But she couldn't stop herself. Did Elphaba know, she wondered, that Glinda dreamed of her at night? Did she guess that whenever they touched, Glinda felt her skin burn? Surely she couldn't know the effect she had, or she would stop inviting Glinda onto her bed to study, she wouldn't hold Glinda when she was upset, she wouldn't look at her with something that looked a little like love in her eyes. And then maybe Glinda could stop hoping.
The journey to the Emerald City was almost a torture. To have Elphaba so near, but so very distant threw Glinda's mind into a scramble; she couldn't think, she couldn't speak, she could just feel Elphaba around her and beside her and when she shut her eyes she could almost feel Elphaba so close as to be inside her, and that thought made her eyes spring open, and the vision disappeared.
Even after Elphaba was gone, the thoughts didn't vanish. Elphaba had said no to her, certainly, but her actions, her looks, her touches – surely they meant something? Perhaps if she'd just been a little bolder, had dared to brush a kiss onto green skin as they curled together in a cold inn bed, maybe if she'd had taken Elphaba's hands and held on tight and had never let her go…
Maybe together, they could have been something.
Years later, when she met Fiyero in the Emerald City, she knew instantly what was happening. That night, she tossed her dreams out the window. It seemed she'd never had a chance, anyway.