A/N: So this is pretty different and totally random, but it popped into my head while reading Chapter 7 of "Conversational Vulcan" by Blue Moon3 (if you haven't read it, you should! It's amazing!) Reviews are lovely!

A Lady Like That

It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. Knowing exactly what will happen – the grotesque boom of the impact, the sickening twisting of metal, the shattering of glass – and not being able to stop it.

Bones sipped his beer, watching a slightly inebriated Jim Kirk swagger (could the man even move without swaggering?) to the bar. Though Bones couldn't see her through the crowd of rowdy cadets celebrating Jim's monumental victory over the Kobayashi Maru, he could hear her. Over the pulsating music, shouting, and laughing, he could hear her. That laugh that sounded like sunshine and happiness and heaven all rolled into one.

Jim would saunter over and lean against the sticky bar, pretending like he didn't see her. Once she said his name, he would feign surprise and make some crack about "a girl like her in a place like this." She'd try to brush him off but, undeterred, Jim would press forward. He'd either make a comment about her looks or her choice in beverage. Then say something about his own looks and his own choice in beverage. Then somehow relate it all to sex.

She'd roll her eyes, remind him what a cocky arrogant ass he was, and storm away. Then Jim would mope back over to the dark corner where Bones stayed most nights and complain that he "just doesn't get that girl."

It was the same two step they'd do-si-doed for the past three years.

Bones should tell him.

He should tell him that you can't win a lady like that with machismo and overconfidence. You can't use pick up lines or lewd looks. And, for God's sake, you can't swagger like some wannbe John Wayne there to rescue a damsel in distress.

Uhura deserved better than that. And she knew it.

With a lady like that, you had to go slow. Get to know her. What she liked, what she didn't like. Why she liked spending more time in the library by herself than having fun with friends. Why mastering two dialects of Romulan when most people didn't even know one wasn't enough. She needed all three. Why she'd move so far away from home, but still talk to her mom every night. Why she tortured herself with things like salad and tofu when she already had a body that could kill.

With a lady like that, you had to show respect. Because, though she was as delicate as a wildflower and a million times more beautiful, she could hold her own against the toughest of men – in and out of the classroom.

With a lady like that, you had to know that she didn't need some knight in shining armor to come and rescue her. Nor did she want some pansy half-man that needs rescuing. She needed an equal. Someone strong enough to know when to lead and when to let her lead. Someone not afraid to tell her when she's wrong, but better be ready to hear the same from her when his time came - and it would.

With a lady like that, you had to be a gentleman. Open doors. Offer your coat. Pick up checks and keep your eyes on her face. Because, strong and tough as she is, she is still a lady and should be treated as such.

Bones should tell him

In a flash of red, he watched her fleeting form storm away from the bar, her ponytail swinging in tune with her fast, angry steps.

Jim, a smirk Bones knew was a cover up for a scowl on his face, watched her go. When she disappeared into the crowd, he made his way back to the corner.

Bones should tell him.

"I just don't get that girl," Jim said with a hiccup, flopping into the booth next to Bones. "I mean, I just beat that freaking unbeatable test. I made Starfleet history. What more could she want?"

Bones should tell him.

But if he did, Uhura might stop rejecting Jim. She might start to think of Jim as less than pig-headed and annoying. She might actually start to like Jim.

Bones took a slow sip of his beer, thinking again about that musical laughter. That gentle cloud of jasmine that followed her everywhere she went. Those espresso eyes and that chocolate skin that only began to describe the amazing beauty inside that brilliant mind and fiesty spirit of hers.

Bones shrugged. "Beats me. I don't know the first thing about women."