Happy official Royai day!! :D
So, this is my last little oneshot written for fullmetal-alchemist dot com's Royai festival at the Roy x Hawkeye thread, and the theme is again "new beginnings". This is kind of an alternate version of chapter 72, my personal favorite Royai chapter :3 (so needless to say spoilers up to that point). And it's kind of indulgent haha, so...do with that what you will.
Well...I hope you like it! And THANK YOU all so much for reviewing/faving/subscribing/reading! :)
Riza Hawkeye jumped, startled by a rhythmic knocking at her apartment door. She stood up from her spot on the couch, her hands trembling slightly as she braced herself to look through the peephole. After the events of tonight, a visitor at such a late hour couldn't possibly be a good thing. Her cheek burned from where the homunculus Pride had delicately sliced through her skin, the cut a glaring assertion of his power and a painful reminder of her current situation. Riza lifted her eye to the door, hastily twisting open the locks as Roy Mustang's head came into view.
"Colonel?" she said, cringing at the hint of desperation that came through in her voice.
"I knew something was up with you," he sighed, reaching his hand up to examine the scratch on her face. Riza winced as his fingers made contact with her inflamed skin. "Sorry," he said, retracting his arm.
"What are you doing here?" asked Riza, shutting the door behind Roy as he walked inside. "We can't be seen together."
"You know why I'm here," he replied, taking off his coat and draping it over the back of a chair. "Don't worry; I wasn't followed."
Riza stared at him, arms crossed. Of course she knew the reason for his visit; a complete stranger could have recognized her lies when he called her earlier that evening asking if something was wrong. In all honesty, she'd half expected him to recklessly show up at her door the way he did. She scowled, annoyed that Roy so quickly disregard his safety for something as trivial as this. However, the fact that she couldn't help but feel a hint of satisfaction at his concern for her annoyed her almost as much.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Roy asked, returning her gaze.
"I'd think you of all people would be wary of sharing information so casually," Riza replied coldly, unable to believe he could conveniently forget all the efforts he normally went through to ensure complete privacy before revealing sensitive material to his allies.
"Do you think you're being watched?"
"I don't…" Riza instinctively glanced around her apartment, her stomach churning anxiously as she eyed the darkness that collected in the corners, out of reach of the feeble glow of her lamps.
I'll be watching you from the shadows…
"I don't know," she groaned, sitting down at her kitchen table and resting her head in her hands.
Roy exhaled slowly, sitting down across from her. "Look, Riza…"
She jumped, not used to hearing him call her by her first name. The sound of it resonated in her ears, both foreign and familiar at the same time. She wanted him to say it again.
Roy continued. "I'm not here as your superior…"
"Then…what are you here as?" Riza asked, almost regretting voicing the question they'd silently agreed not to bring up. Of course she wanted to admit to being more than a friend, but what would that mean for them? What could they possible make of it in the midst of all this chaos? And then they'd both be faced with that knowledge, that bitter, resentful knowledge that perhaps if they'd lived in some other time, some other place, they could have lived happily and free of troubles. But they were stuck here in this twisted world, constantly kept at arms length from one another no matter how far they stretched out their hands.
"…Do you really want me to answer that?" Roy replied after a few minutes, his face tensing into a weary frown. Riza recognized that look; she imagined her own expression to be quite similar.
"No," she whispered.
"At least let me spend the night on your couch," he said, his mouth bending into a slight smile.
Riza sighed, lacking both the energy and the willpower to point out everything that was wrong with his request. She looked down at her arm resting motionlessly on the tabletop, coincidentally not far from Roy's. He fanned out his hand, his fingertips barely brushing against hers. Her skin tingled from the sensation, burning for more. She stiffened her joints, willing herself not to move them any farther.
"Is that a yes…?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow. Riza nodded despite herself.
"I'm not going to argue with you," she said, leaning back in her chair.
"Is that so…I'm not sure whether to be grateful or worried," he replied.
Roy laughed. "Yeah, I guess…" he let his eyes fall on Riza, his face still holding onto a sad smile. Part of her wished he'd stop looking at her that way, helpless and apologetic. But she liked the way it felt to have his eyes on her, knowing he felt the same way, even if saying it would shatter them both. It was masochism in its purest form, and Riza couldn't get enough.
"It's getting late…" she finally said, beginning to feel the weight of the day's events.
"Indeed…I suppose morning even comes for people like us," remarked Roy, standing up slowly. "Perhaps you and I will see a proper sunrise someday."
Riza looked up at him, arms crossed. "Oh?"
Roy shrugged. "It's wishful thinking, at least."
Yes, Riza thought, it was indeed wishful thinking. Perhaps it was all right, for her to believe that there would be a sunrise for them in some distant future. Maybe it was denial, maybe it was self-preservation, but all that was left for them in a world without hope was despair, she told herself, and such a life was hardly one worth living.
"I'm glad that you came here," she said.
Roy smiled. "Mm…sleep well; I'll see you tomorrow," he said, lightly squeezing her shoulder.
"Yes…I'll see you tomorrow."