Author's Note: Originally this started as a sequel to Vampire Daddy in Renesmee's PoV. But this turned out to sum up the entirety of Breaking Dawn rather quickly...That's 754 pages summarized in about 1,000 words...There's a lot I want to say about the symbolism of those numbers, but Breaking Dawn does have it's merits so I won't start complaining now. Anyway, I'm not really clear on where this is going, it's sort of writing itself and the plot keeps changing. Mostly it's just fun to write! So please join me and Nessie for whatever adventure we encounter along the way!
The Golden Chocolate Awards: Best Drabble - WINNER!
Disclaimer: With or without clothes the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
I Saw Emmett Naked
Few creatures remember their birth. Part of my kind can remember one version of being born and in some ways it's more traumatic than even my experience; which was highly unorthodox in its own right. But it is debated by well-known psychiatrists that humans are so traumatized by birth that they block it from their memory, much as their mother's often claim to not remember the pain of delivery. These psychiatrists argue that to remember one's birth would cause a complete psychological breakdown. I disagree. I remember everything I ever thought, witnessed or experienced. Ever. And my birth was by far not the most traumatic. I'm not even sure it makes the top five, anymore.
My birth was harrowing. Even before that was no picnic. Sure it was warm and safe inside, but it was also incredibly cramped. I nearly died during those first few weeks from starvation!
My mother is a resilient woman whom I adore. I would often hear her voice telling me how much she loved me. And I loved her back. I especially loved it when she called me EJ. I was EJ. And somehow that made me extra special. I would try to tell her how much I loved this, but I would often hurt her. This would be my first lesson in right and wrong. Consequently, my father would often rub the spot I had just bruised or broken. His touch was gentle, but when he spoke he sounded coarse and distant. He did not like me. And yet I loved him, unconditionally.
On a fateful day after getting through so many dire hurdles I began to suffocate. The air was sucked right from my safe home, right from my very lungs. I saw spots and then everything went black. It was obvious, I was dying. Again.
As my heart slowed I decided I had accomplished too much already. I had not starved, my Daddy loved me and I was trying very hard not to hurt Mommy, lately. But at that moment I didn't care. I wanted to live. I wanted to breathe. So I started forcing my way out.
There was constant yelling on the outside which frightened me, and caused me to push harder. I broke Mommy's spine. But nothing could deter me from my mission. Yet, it felt like a lost cause…
Suddenly cold hands were grasping me, swaddling me. I was assaulted by all sorts of sights and smells. I could breath and there was certainly more room to move about. But there was so much to absorb, I felt just as trapped as I did within the womb. Except there was no longer a safe encasing to protect me, to nourish me. I was helpless.
I was completely disorientated until someone said, "Renesmee," in the kindest most awed voice I had ever heard. I did not know who Renesmee was, but I knew my father was holding me. His cold skin did not match his warm expression.
I had lived. I had survived.
Daddy handed me to Mommy who called me Renesmee too and then it occurred to me that for some reason I was no longer EJ. This disappointed me. And then I bit Mommy. That was my second, lesson in right and wrong.
This would seem to be the end of my trauma, but no one except an infant can understand how horrible it is not to be held by your mother. There were plenty of people to hold me, to change me, to whisper soothing words as my eyelids grew heavy and sleep overcame me.
Rosalie and Jacob often bickered over caring for me, which never made sense because I loved both of them equally; Rosalie was kind, but Jacob was warm. Emmett was usually the referee for their fights, hauling Rosalie out of the room as she struggled to claw at Jacob who just growled and quivered menacingly. Esme liked to marvel in my ability, she was always at my beck and call. Carlisle liked to measure me, which was always fun. Although not nearly as much fun as when Alice would put on comfortable onesies and brush my hair. Jasper always made me happy or sleep better when I was restless. But none of them were Mommy.
Daddy hummed to me by her side once but all she did was lay there, so still I was sure I that even though I had survived, I'd killed my mother in the process.
There's nothing like needing your mother and then considering yourself a monster. I cried, silently, missing, both my parents since Daddy never left Mommy's side. I felt alone and vulnerable. But nothing got past my caretakers who kept me thoroughly occupied for the most part.
I remember the day Mommy woke up. Everyone was saying her name and there was an electric energy in the air. I asked Jacob with my thoughts what all the excitement was and he explained as best he could that Mommy was going to open her eyes, but that we might not be able to see her for a while. I snuggled my head into Jacob's neck, despairingly. All I wanted was my Mommy.
Eventually I settled into the only type of normal I knew. My family was special, but I was even more special than all of them. And all my ordeals seemed over. I quickly learned to walk and talk, to read and to color in the lines; which is something Grandpa was constantly in awe about. I liked to dream about Daddy teaching me to play piano, Mommy teaching me how to write, Jacob teaching me to ride a bike and countless other skills I wanted to master.
But panic soon became the only emotion I was really familiar with. Alice and Jasper left and a dozen new friends arrived but we were in danger. I was in danger. The confrontation with the Volturi was terrifying to say the least; nobody would tell me what was going on! But we survived. And I finally thought that I had experienced more than enough trauma for my short lifetime, thus far. But that was before I saw Emmett naked…
-So I'll try to update as often as possible. Reviews will definitely keep this fic going. Thanks for reading!