WARNING: Prepare for extreme randomness and a little more than "fairly odd," per se, pairings.

, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!

Fanfiction people: No!

GOOD, BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ THE AWESOMEST (I know it's not a word, thank you very much) CROSSOVER EVER!

BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO MUSH THINGS TOGETHER THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN MUSHED BEFORE!

Fanfiction people: Wow, great wording. Not.

YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ THE MOST GINORMOUS-

Fanfiction people: Again with the wording.

CROSSOVER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FANFICTION! BUT I STILL HAVE TO ADD THAT NO, I AM NOT RICK RIORDAN, IN CASE ANY OF YOU WERE WONDERING!

Fanfiction people: We really weren't.

WE ARE GOING TO CROSS BOUNDARIES! BECAUSE WE ARE MIXING:

1. Percy Jackson and the Olympians
2. Harry Potter
3. Twilight
4. Artemis Fowl
5. Underland Chronicles
6. The Fairly Oddparents
7. Spongebob Squarepants
8. Hannah Montana, yaaaaaa'll

SO LET'S GET ON WITH IT! WOOO!

Chapter One

(Percy POV)

I was walking around camp with Annabeth, Rachel, Nico, and Grover when I saw Chiron.

"Hey, Chiron!" I said happily.

"Percy. I have urgent news. You and your friends here are being deported."

"Whaddozatmeen?"

Annabeth hit my head and said, "We're kicked out of the country?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Why?" Nico shrieked.

"I don't know. So, I have arranged for you five to move to England."

"EEEEEW!" screamed Rachel. "I hate the English!"

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare, do not insult the English. So, you are all going to move to Hogwarts."

"What's Hog Warts?" I wondered aloud.

"A school for British descendants of Hecate, goddess of magic," Annabeth said, hitting me again. "And it's not Hog Warts, it's Hogwarts."

"Same dif," I whined, rubbing my head.

"So, when do we leave?" asked Grover through a mouth of tinfoil.

"You leave immediately," Chiron said, pointing to a helicopter landing right in the middle of the cabins.

(Bella POV)

I was busy making out with my hubbie, the uber-hot, perfect, Gay Edward-Cedric, when Carlisle jumped into the room and said, "Bella! Edward! I have some urgent news!"

"What?" I complained, wiping off my mouth with Edward's long, long, long, flowing hair.

"You two and Jacob are being deported."

Edward-Cedric growled, "Why are we being thrown out of the country?"

"I don't know."

"What about Renesmee?" I cried in anguish.

"She's being sent to Canada."

"NOOOOOO! NOT THE CANADIANS!"

"Anyway, you, Edward-Cedric, and Jacob are moving to England."

"NOOOOOO! NOT THE ENGLISH!"

"Relax, Bella. You are being sent to a school for vampires and werewolves called Hogwarts."

"Hog Warts?"

"No. Hogwarts. You leave immediately." Carlisle pointed to a helicopter crashing through the roof of our house.

(Artemis POV)

I was plotting another plan at world domination when Butler crashed into the room.

"Hey, Domovoi, my good man!" I said, trying to give him a high-five.

"Artemis, I have urgent news." He ducked out of the way of my outstretched hand.

"What is it? Have the Japanese found that atomic bomb that I planted?" I asked in panic, chewing my nails.

"No. Worse. You and Juliet and Holly are being deported."

"For what?"

"I don't know. I have arranged for you all to move to Hogwarts."

"That stupid school for fairies in England?"

"Yes, that is the one. You leave immediately." He pointed to a helicopter landing on my front lawn.

(Gregor POV)

"So, Luxa, what are you doing tonight?" I asked her as I sat with her on the back of Aurora, her gold motorcycle.

"I'm going to kill off the rats."

"Awesome. Can I help?"

"Sure."

"Can I kill Ripred?"

"Sure."

Just then, Vikus appeared next to us on his big gray moped, Euripides.

"Gregor! I have urgent news!"

I gave him a look as if to say, "You're interrupting a moment here!"

He ignored me and shouted, "You and Luxa are being deported!"

"Why? Is it because I convinced you guys to make the Underland go 21st century?" I had this totally awesome idea to replace the animals with cars and jets and stuff. And we got Satellite TV, since we hooked up some electricity.

"I don't know. Anyway, you guys are going to live in England, at a school for Regalians called Hogwarts."

"Hog Warts?" I asked in a confused sort of way.

"No, Hogwarts!" Luxa said.

"When do we leave?" I said to Vikus.

"You leave immediately." Then he pointed to a big helicopter lowering itself through solid rock ceilings.

(Timmy POV)

"No, Tootie or whatever your name is, I will NOT kiss you!" I shrieked in my girl-voice that attracted the hearts of so many.

Suddenly Jorgen von Strangle materialized into the room.

"Teemy Turner!"

"That's ma name, don't wear it out!" After I said that, Tottie giggled.

"Yoo and your faireez are bee-eng dee-pour-tid!"

"NO! This can't be happening!"

"Yoo weel leeve een Eenglind, een ah skool cawled Hogwarts!"

"Hog Warts?"

"NO, HOGWARTS!"

"Whatever! When do I leave?"

"Yoo leeve ee-mee-dee-it-lee." Then Jorgen pointed his meaty arm to a helicopter that was landing directly above my goldfish bowl.

(Spongebob POV)

"Yay! Time for FUN!" I said joyfully as I flipped patties and watched Squidward through the little window.

"Spongebob!" said Mr. Krabs, walking through the door into the kitchen.

"Yes, Mr. Krabs?" I said.

"You and Mr. Squidward are being deported!"

"De-what-ted?"

"Deported. Kicked out. So you are going to go to England."

"What is England?"

"Sandy knows. But you have no time to ask her! I'm not exactly sure either, but you will be going to a school for undersea life called Hogwarts."

"Hog Warts?"

"No, Hogwarts. You leave immediately."

He jabbed a claw in the direction of a helicopter landing through the roof of the Krusty Krab.

(Miley POV)

OMG, I wuz lyk doing nada untill my daddy-o had 2 com in and ruin everythang

"MILEY" he said loudly

"whadda u want, old mann" I said loudly.

"u and ur friends r being deported"

"omg, what's deported"

"I don't know."

"where am i going 2"

"england. Hogwarts."

"Hog Warts?"

"no, Hogwarts u and lily and oliver leave soon"

"how soon is soon"

"You leave immediately." He gestured to a helicopter landing on the beach that just happens to be behind our house.

"sweet whatever-its," i muttered. "SUPREME LORD MONTANA WILL STILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

Yes! That is the end of the first chapter! Now, don't give up on me yet! The next chapter will be better! I just had to explain why they're all flying by helicopter to Hogwarts with a few accomplices.

What will our heroes do? What will our villains do? What will I do?

Stay tuned. Please.

You know, it would absolutely make my day if I got a few reviews...