A/N: Funny! Or to me it is. I guess. Idk. Read please! During Breaking Dawn. Sorry, these lines aren't actually from Breaking Dawn. But that's what fanfiction is all about!
Me: Do I own the Twilight
Me: Why not? *stomps foot like 5 year old*
Disclaimer: Because Stephenie Meyer does! *blows raspberry*
Me: I utterly hate your guts. If it weren't for you, the Twilight Saga would be mine within seconds! Mwahahahahahaha!
Disclaimer: But I do exist! So you won't EVER own the Twilight Saga! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Me: *sticks tongue out*
The burning finally stopped. I was finished hunting. Edward liked the improvements that that mountain lion made to my dress. (A/N: I just had to throw that in there!) I was going to see the only daughter I would ever get. All was good. I was running alongside Edward. My gorgeous husband, and the father to our child. Our child. I liked the sound of that. I darted in the direction of our little cottage. Edward followed behind me, not wanting to leave a newborn vampire with humans around. I darted into the closet that was bigger than the cottage itself. Alice's doing. I knew that if I dressed in jeans and a shirt, she would just drag me back here and force me into something else. Might as well put on something that will please her. (A/N: Pictures on profile) When I was dressed, I got in front of the mirror to do a once over. Edward came up from behind me, his arms snaked around my waist, and he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"You look perfect," he whispered in my ear.
"Hey, Edward?" I said turning around to look at his face.
"Yes?" he asked.
"Could we not rip this outfit to shreds? I actually like it," I stated. He just laughed and nodded his head. We walked out the door, hand in hand. When we got outside, we sprinted to the big white house, where Rosalie was just finishing feeding Renesmee. My baby. Our baby. I smiled at that. We reached the house. Rosalie was holding Renesmee, a baby that couldn't possibly be mine. She had the appearance of a 2 month old. She was only born a few days ago. She stepped forward, cautiously, slowly. To see if I could contain my thirst no doubt. I took a deep breath. Renesmee had a human scent, and a vampire scent. Nothing I couldn't handle. She smelled too much like a vampire to smell that appetizing. I nodded my head to show Rosalie that I could handle it. She looked at me, then handed Renesmee to me, smiling. I looked down at the miracle in my arms. She was beautiful. She had a head full of bronze-colored hair. Just like her dad. They fell in ringlets down to her chin. She had the chocolate colored brown eyes that I recently had. Her skin was pale, but she was very warm. She smiled up at me, and her tiny hand reached up toward my cheek. I smiled back at her. Then I heard something that alarmed me. I whipped my head around. Somebody turning off of the highway and onto the Cullens' drive way. I looked up at Edward for an explanation, but he was concentrating on something. Then, amusement crossed his face. He laughed. But before any of us could ask, he answered.
"It's Newton. He's coming here to ask Bella out on a date," he chuckled. Emmett's booming laughter filled the room, along with the laughter of the rest of them. I looked up at Edward, shock and alarm on my face.
"I'm still a newborn vampire! Mike's got blood!" I hissed. The room immediately fell silent. It lasted like that for a few seconds.
"Do you think that you would be able to keep control for just a minute or so?" Carlisle asked. I remembered earlier when I was hunting with Edward. I smelled this absolutely mouthwatering aroma. I knew at once that it was human blood I smelled. Edward remembered it, too.
"She can handle it," he answered for me Then he explained about the hikers in the woods and my reaction. When he finished, everybody was looking at me in shock. I let my head fall down. I still hated attention.
"Edward, take Renesmee. I want to explain to Michael that I am married. Because apparently that hasn't sunken into his big, fat head yet," I said between clenched teeth. The car came closer, Edward took Renesmee from me, and strolled out of the room along with everybody else. The car was now parked in front of the Cullens' house. Mike was dressed in a light blue polo, and khaki jeans. He had a red rose in his hand. I sighed. I went into the kitchen with everybody else to act like I didn't know about his arrival. I heard a knock on the front door. I sighed again. Edward squeezed my hand once, and then le it go as I walked to the door. I took one last gulp of fresh air, and held my breath. I opened the door.
"Mike! What are you doing here?" I asked in a slightly less than enthusiastic voice. A human wouldn't catch it. Everybody waiting in the kitchen would. He looked bewildered. I mentally kicked myself. Of course he would be puzzled. My voice was now like bells, and I looked like a goddess.
"Bella?" he asked incredulously.
"Yep," I said, popping the "p".
"You look…different. You look great!" he said.
"Yeah," I said. I was loving actually being pretty for once.
"Tyler and Eric won't believe it! Can I take a picture of you?" he asked excitedly.
"Um…sure?" it sounded like a question. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of me. "So what did you come here for?" I asked.
"Oh. I…uh…was wondering if you wanted… to… go on a date…with me," he said handing me the rose. I sighed. His scent surprisingly didn't burn my throat. He actually smelled repulsive. Gross. Like human food. Again, gross.
"Mike-" I started but Edward interrupted.
"Bella, Renesmee wants you," he said entering the room with a pink bundle cradled lovingly in his arms. He was getting the hand of this father thing. He's such a lifesaver at times.
"Who's Renesmee? Your pet or something?" Mike questioned. Edward was now at my side, handing me Renesmee. I growled when he said that. Mike took a step back. I had Renesmee in my arms, Edward's arm around my waist.
"No, Mike," I hissed. "Renesmee is our daughter," I said, love in my voice. Mike looked shocked. I laughed and Edward chuckled.
"Your…d-d-daughter?" Mike stuttered.
"Yes Mike. Our daughter," I said. I extended my arms for Mike to see her. He gasped when he saw Edward's bronze hair, and my brown eyes. He then looked into my eyes. Good thing Alice lent me those contacts. I had slipped them in right before I answered the door. I looked down and smiled at my little miracle. "And Mike," I said in my new sing-song voice, "no I will not go on a date with you. I'm very happily married. I'm sorry to say this, but I will never go on a date with you. No. No, I'm not," I muttered the last part too quickly and quietly for human ears. But it resulted in an uproar from the kitchen and Edward. I just smiled. Mike frowned and walked back to his car. I made sure he was still looking before I pulled Edward in for a deep, passionate kiss, leaving enough room in between us for Renesmee. I looked back at Mike's car swiftly, and his face was murderously angry, with a hint of shock, disappointment, and jealousy. Ha. But I looked back at Edward before Mike even knew I looked his way. Edward chuckled, and we walked back into the kitchen where everybody was still laughing. We joined in. I was pretty sure Mike wouldn't be bothering me for a while now. Stupid Mike. He actually thought he would get a date with a married woman. Yeah right! I would get my happily ever after now. Hopefully.
A/N: That's it! What'd ya think? Was Mike totally stupid or what. I would say…YES! See ya later.