Disclaimer: I own nothing

Pairing: Sasuke/Kagome/Itachi, some Kagome/Naruto

Warning: Will contain Uchihacest, just to warn those who don't like that stuff

A/N: With this story up (and if I continue it), 'Operation: PDA,' and 'Seduction Games' will probably be dropped

Witness # 1: Umino Iruka

That whole clan was crazy.

Now, Umino Iruka knew that the Uchiha clan practised incest – no matter how distant it may be – but they still did inbreed to keep the DNA of the Sharingan strong.

But still, the girl was so still so small – and Itachi was six years older than she was. Their sibling love just seemed too... close for each other. And he knew he wasn't the only one who thought that way.

He would have never thought that Itachi might have a loli-complex, but it was the only explanation.

And as for her brother of the same age – now Iruka had never even heard of Kagome's birth before, so he guessed that she could've been adopted by the Uchiha clan at a young age. Or they just hid her birth from the rest of Konoha – Sasuke wasn't much better with dealing with his sister.

They had been caught 'playing doctor' more than a few times – Iruka knew that it was probably just a child's curiosity – but he told the boy over and over it was inappropriate. The kid didn't listen to him... at all.

Kagome was all innocent in this, that much he knew. She had no idea what her brothers' behaviour around her was very strange – and slightly disturbing to the rest of the population of Konoha.

"Itachi-nii-san?" Kagome asked, her unusual bright blue eyes looked curiously up at her older brother with innocence that only a child possessed. It was a refreshing sight – because most children in the Uchiha clan lost their innocence by the time they went to the academy.

Sasuke certainly had, at least after he had declared himself to be Itachi's rival, no matter how one-sided it may be. Sasuke was particularly angry that Kagome actually enjoyed spending time with their big brother. The child wanted the girl to himself – it just wasn't going to happen either.

"Yes?" He asked, looking down at the little girl who held his blood-stained hand. He always wondered why the girl had to be an Uchiha, she deserved so much more than a corrupted clan.

"What's a kiss?" Kagome asked with a bright smile, Itachi stopped to look down at her, raising his brow at the strange question.

"Why would you ask that?" He asked emotionlessly, wondering why she would want to know.

"I read it in a book – Shisui-nii-san's book. There were a lot of funny pictures in there." Kagome answered brightly, pulling out an orange book from her backpack. Itachi resisting the urge to roll his obsidian eyes – their cousin was a closet-perv.

"It's something you can do when you're older." Itachi simply said, not really giving a full explanation. Kagome looked put-out by the lame answer.

"Okay." She pouted, but then cheered up a second later. "Then, what does... 'Fucking' mean?" She asked, also seeing that term in the funny orange book.

Iruka, from his hiding spot, blanched, watching the two siblings walk slowly towards the academy. There was plenty of time before Kagome's lesson started. Where Sasuke was, Iruka had no idea.

There was something very, very, very wrong with the Uchiha clan if they were allowing a little girl-child to read some smut. 'Damn that Jiraiya-sama for creating such a thing.' The teacher thought, not noticing that Itachi flicked his obsidian eyes in his direction for a brief second, before landing back on his little sibling.

An annoyed expression briefly appeared on the ANBU-captain's pale face, but a slight smirk quickly replaced it. The smirk disappeared a second later; his usual apathetic face replaced the smirk.

"It's something you also do when you're older – someone who you'll marry too." Itachi said, though a frown appeared on his pale face, making the fatigue lines appeared longer. Kagome would eventually have to marry within the clan – probably Shisui, if his guess was correct. There was no way Fugaku would allow Kagome – the first female who had been born within the clan since Mikoto – to marry outside of the clan, even if it was her wish to.

"Oh," Kagome blinked her beautiful blue eyes, looking up at Itachi with happiness, surprising even Itachi with her next statement. "We can marry each other when I get older! Then you can show me what 'fucking' is!" She giggled, blinking when a loud slam sounded from somewhere. "What was that?"

Iruka had just fallen from his spot in a dead faint.

"Hn," Itachi didn't answer, merely guiding Kagome towards the academy, ignoring the fainted Chuunin completely. A smirk slowly spread across his pale face. "Aa." He lightly agreed with Kagome's statement, even if she didn't know what the hell she was really talking about.

He would rather have her marry him than that closet-perv, Shisui.

Iruka's eyes could not but help to stray back to the Uchiha twins during the course of the class, Kagome was sitting there innocently colouring with crayons while Sasuke watched her.

Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura were sitting near them, Sasuke glared at them with his obsidian eyes as they reached over for a few of Kagome's crayons.

They both 'eeped' when Sasuke snarled at them, scaring them off, and not allowing them to steal Kagome's crayons, they were hers; annoying fan-girls didn't need to touch them!

"Here, Sasuke-nii-chan!" Kagome passed her crayon over to her brother, who took with a bored expression. He didn't like their break-time anymore, what was the use of drawing and colouring to a shinobi? It was just a big waste of time, much like their teacher, Iruka-sensei.

Sasuke didn't like him; he liked to interrupt his time with Kagome a lot. The academy time was the time he had Kagome alone to himself.

"Ne, Sasuke-nii-chan?" Kagome asked, bringing the boy's attention to herself. Iruka couldn't help but listen in, trying to look as if he wasn't at all. Sasuke glared at him, but turned to Kagome a second later.

"What?" He asked, glaring at the little pink-haired girl and the blond-haired girl, who were now staring at him dreamily. They were really annoying...

"Do you know what 'Fucking' means?" Kagome asked brightly, the entire class watched in surprise as their teacher suddenly keeled over.

Oh yes, the Uchiha clan desperately needed therapy...

Yeah, so what'd you think? Weird or what? XD