Retail Blues (Oneshot)

Authors Note: Went shopping yesterday and so desperately wished I had a hanyou on my side while I wrestled with other shoppers that my muse took pity on me for the rough day and allowed me a bit of inspiration.

Disclaimer: All characters from the anime "Inu-Yasha" are owned by Rumiko Takashi; this fiction was written without her knowledge or consent with the strict purpose of entertainment without the intention of being reimbursed. Please do not plagiarize this fiction with the intent to take credit of writing it or to sell.

Summery: Kagome's clothes have been trashed in the feudal era and now she hasn't a thing to wear (despite her full closet at home)! Taking the excuse to the max, she goes shopping with a certain inu and discovers that his powers are good for more then just fighting demons! (Crack/Drabble)

"Inu-yasha!" Kagome screamed, her purified arrow aiming at the heart of the horribly ugly fish demon they were currently battling. It's stench magnified as it's attention was averted to her while the half demon swung his massive sword around in the giant ball of water he was currently stuck in.

It was almost embarrassing; the way they had to actually work to defeat the demon before them; as its only major attack was being shot at with water with the strength of a modern fire hose. Muttering under her breath as she remembered just why they were in the predicament in the first place she released the arrow; causing the fish demon enough pain to drop the attack on Inu-yasha, the water bubble spilling down easily.

Howling out in rage Inu-yasha finally released his wind scar, slicing the demon into three pieces that only remained in sight for a brief moment, before dissolving into ash. Afterwards Inu-yasha sheathed his sword, walked over to the spot the demon had died, and promptly began stomping the ground viciously enough to leave small craters in the earth.

Rolling her eyes at his antics, she looked down at her clothes, somewhat happy with the fact that, for once, she had not been wearing her school uniform... Had she worn that, then the tattered remains would have made her mother sigh as she stretched their meager budget once again to search for the funds to replace it once again.

However; it also meant that she had no other clothes to wear besides said uniform, meaning it would shortly be destroyed as well. Shaking her head, she shouldered her bow and arrows and walked to where she had dropped her bag when they'd first been attacked. Honestly, she needed something sturdier to fight in, something that wouldn't become tattered rags after just one battle with a low level demon.

Removing her school uniform from her pack she turned to the forest to change behind a tree, informing Sango before so as to remove the probability of a certain pervert monk having any accidents. Afterwards she held up the torn shirt she'd previously worn, the jagged holes from being shot at with water were obviously weren't repairable; even if she had known what she was doing.

Shaking her head she stomped back to her bag, shoving the aforementioned ragged cloth back into her pack before attempting to sling the bag over her shoulder as well... She might have succeeded, had it not been for the bow getting in her way. Honestly she was getting sick of the thing, but it (unlike her wardrobe) was sturdy, and it withstood any attack, not tearing even once.

Briefly wondering if the material wasn't as magical as Inu-yasha's fire-rat outfit, she waited for Inu-yasha to pick up her bag. Once he did, she stood straight and firmly placed her hands on her hips. She needed to go shopping for new clothes, and she needed to do it before they were attacked and her uniform was once again trashed.

The fight for this lasted the rest of the day, ending only once Kagome had finally reached the well once more. It only took three sharp 'sits' to get the hanyou down long enough for her to slip over the lip of the well with a quick 'back in a few hours' and return to her time.

However she hadn't made it in her time for more then two minutes, before the bottom of the well glowed blue and Inu-yasha came into view. She glanced down from where she'd been climbing up the ladder, eyes narrowing a faction at the continued resistance she seen in his face.

"Inu-yasha," she snapped, "I need new clothes if we're going to continue to fight." she began, lifting a leg over the top of the well so she could stand on the ground. "If mom buys me another uniform this month it'll have to come out of the food budget, do you want them to starve?"

Though the question came out as sarcastic without the need or want of an answer, he gave one anyhow, "If we don't' defeat Naraku and he makes it to the future with the jewel then that will be the least of their worries, wouldn't it?"

Giving him a scowl she turned around, tossing a 'sit' over her shoulder and grinning in satisfaction as the grunted obscenities reached her ears. Honestly... He hadn't expected that argument to actually work, had he? If so then he really needed to hurry up and find a new way to win.

Once she reached the front door of the temple Inu-yasha was once again at her side, preventing her from turning the knob and announcing her home-coming by grasping her hips and lifting her over his head. The shock of it quickly came and went when she realized he was taking her back to his era. Reaching down to his wrist she pinched the flesh there, grinning in victory as he yelped and quickly set her back to her feet.

"I need clothes, Inu-yasha! What do you want me to do? Run around the past in my panties and bra??" she spun around and jogged back up the porch stairs, not noticing the blank look he was giving the air before him... Which was probably a good thing for him, as another set of sits would have been blasted at him.

Shouting out that she was home she quickly walked into the kitchen to where her mother was currently stirring a pot of soup (probably to go as a side to the roast Kagome could smell in the oven). Looking up at her daughter she smiled pleasantly, then outright happily as she noticed the uniform hadn't a smudge on it.

"I see they survived another trip." her mother chuckled after greeting her daughter with a hug, turning back to her soup she didn't hold back the sigh of relief, "I was worried that you'd need another one." she explained, spooning a quick taste into her mouth, before reaching for the salt and pepper, "How long are you home for?"

Kagome laughed nervously at the uniform comment, now loath to tell her the actual reason she only shrugged, "I can't come home and visit every once in a while?" she asked, backing out of the kitchen, "Won't be long, though, only a few hours; and I need to go grocery shopping, too, so that will probably take a little while."

Inu-yasha suddenly returned to her side, and 'keh'd' at her (to him) obvious lie, however remained quiet after that; following her from the kitchen to her room. The fact that he wasn't giving her lie away to her mother kept her from being angry with him for sticking around.

She went over to her desk, opening the drawer to remove her wallet from the back, then closing it once more. Holding it to her chest she briefly hugged it, morning the money within and the new laptop she'd been saving it for, before slipping the wallet into a purse and slinging it over her shoulder.

Turning to the still silent half demon she pointed at him, "If you're going to follow me everywhere then you've gotta cover up." she ordered, her finger moving up to his ears, then down to his feet, "You can't run around like you always do-"

He cut her off with a wave, "Yeah, yeah, woman; I know." he intoned, walking over to her closet to pull out the red cap, socks, and shoes her mother now stored within it for the times he returned with her. She watched him pull on the socks and shoes, complaining a bit as the constraint he felt at doing so; then turned and studied her room.

Before she had met him, she had wanted to fill the room with pictures of her friends and put up posters of hot bands and models... However now her walls were covered with odd objects her grandfather would want; her old bow, for instance, hung over her bed; the stirdy, yet willowy, wood gleaming from the polishing she made sure to give it every time she returned. Broken arrows which she'd kept as trophies littered over her drawer tops where a normal teenager would keep a new radio.

Charms and protections wards hung scattered about, placed up with silver thumb-tacks. Both put up at the insistence of Miroku and Sango, fearing any demonic attacks during her visits. There was even one small weapon Sango had wanted her to carry around when she went out on her desk top. Remembering it she picked up the small demon bone dagger incased in it's plain brown sleeve (made from the demons skin, from what Sango had explained), and slipped it into her purse.

Pictures of their group were framed and placed on the walls and beside her bed and desk, chosen because they looked the most normal; however others were hidden beneath her bed in a ragged old shoe box. The ones where they'd just come out of a battle against a strong upper-class demon, their victorious smiles bright on their faces though they were covered with blood and grime... The ones she actually wanted to frame and display.

Shaking the odd feeling of satisfaction and disappointment she returned her eyes to Inu-yasha, who'd finished covering his obvious heritage. The lack of furry ears at his head made her sigh as she realized she preferred the life without the need to hide her growing skills and her wonderful friends.

Sometimes she really wished she'd been born in the feudal era... However that didn't happen and the fact was that she was a time-traveling teen born with cars and television instead of bows and demons. She should just be thankful she was able to at least pretend when she was able and ignore her selfish wants when she wasn't.

"Ready to go?" she asked, already walking to the bedroom door before he could answer with the affirmative. The sooner she was out of the room, the sooner the odd feelings would leave and she could get on with her business... She hadn't come home to study the way she lived, or to even casually think about it; she'd come home to buy an outfit that was sturdy enough to survive more then a couple of fights.

They made it out of the house and down town without any troubles, which amazed her, really, as Inu-yasha was like a beacon for trouble in any time. However they did have to stop once when Inu-yasha spotted a comic store employee cosplaying an alien from a newly released video game... An employee, who, had promptly fainted when the younger man stepped up to him and pulled out the largest sword he'd even seen before in his life.

Luckily they'd reached the clothing outlet soon after with no more dangerous freaks (as Inu-yasha called them) approaching them... She didn't have the heart to tell him that in reality, they were the dangerous freaks.

Opening the doors Kagome stepped in and waited for Inu-yasha to join her side, frowning at the amount of people walking around the store before she realized they'd come on a Saturday, otherwise known to women across the nation as "sale day".

Mentally groaning she stiffened her shoulders once Inu-yasha had joined her and shouldered past people, for once not bothering to offer apology. She had a mission to achieve, and that mission was finding a nice pair of comfortable fitting sturdy jeans and a pliable moving top! .. Maybe even a pair of shoes that weren't loafers if she was lucky.

"Get off my foot, ya hag!" Inu-yasha suddenly shouted, jerking the offended body part out from under a middle-aged woman's high heal. She turned to shout at him about the insult when she noticed the fanged glare he was giving her. Shutting her mouth and walking away from him quickly Kagome was made to realize one thing...

People didn't want to piss him off.

To them, he appeared to be a delinquent that wouldn't mind beating the stuffing from them if given half a chance... Which was probably the exact case, however at this point in time it was very useful. She reached over and grabbed him by his arms.

"Inu-yasha, this is very important," she began, looking him in the eyes as she was speaking; "I need to find a good sale on clothes so that we can return to shard hunting, right?" she asked, relieved to see him nod in annoyed understanding. "Well to do that we're going to have to beat everyone here to those sales." she paused and pointed around the brightly colored signs sitting on top of sales racks.

Sudden understand reached his eyes clearly, and a determined smirk lit across his face as he nodded, "Got ya, Kagome." He might as well have laughed out, turning around to look for the nearest sign before aggressively stalking his way to it, leaving startled gasps and disgruntled complaints in his wake.

Grinning at his ease of clearing the passage to the first sales rack she happily jogged after him, mentally smirking at the heated and envious stares she was receiving at her aggressive shopping partner. She was sure she would be able to get to all the sales before everything was picked threw now, giving her a selection to go threw.

Once he reached the clothes he stepped aside and allowed Kagome to have room to briskly inspect each piece; rejecting one after the other as either to thin or to incredibly ugly to be worn in any time... She had her standards, after all, and she doubted Inu-yasha would want to be seen anywhere close to her if she decided to up and wear a moo-moo.

After going threw the entire rack she looked at Inu-yasha and shook her head, signaling him to look for the next selection. He instantly began walking again, head held high and his steps confident as he easily pushed past a small group of teenagers. Brave as they were, they attempted to push him back in retaliation; only receiving a glare and a shove in return.

Normally, if Inu-yasha had pushed a human into a clothes rack, she would have at least considered it, however she was to busy trying not to grin in satisfaction... She practically owned the store now! The thrill of power didn't go unnoticed by her, as she casually stopped to study a selection of hats, Inu-yasha pausing as well to wait for her.

Snatching a dull yellow sun hat with a wide brim and soft pink ribbon laced into it, a bow at the back, she trotted next to Inu-yasha once more. Ten minutes and three racks later found Kagome wearing the sun hat, with three shirts slung over her arm and going for the forth, when the shirt was snagged by another amply endowed shopper.

The challenge was issued.

The older woman clung to the dark red tank-top, a glare covering her face as she attempted to tug it from Kagome's hands. Kagome met the woman's glare with an open eyed stare, not releasing her grip for a moment. The next tug made her follow threw with one of her own, her eyes narrowing despite her natural good manners...

The challenge was accepted.

She knew she probably made a comedic sight as she braced her feet on the floor and took hold of the shirt in both hands and pulled with all her body weight and upper body strength... She was curious as to why she was acting the way she was, as she didn't find the shirt interesting in the least, in fact she probably would have put it back after a closer look.

Though when the other woman responded with trying to jerk the shirt from Kagome's hands it didn't stop her from shooting out a glare. The tug-of-war had started, and she wouldn't be giving up until the woman released her hold and walked away.

Determination settling in she managed to bring her arms up to grasp her portion of the shirt over her shoulder as she turned around, wishing she had better footing as she took a step, leaning her body forward. Her face set in a firm frown of concentration as the woman now jerked and tugged at the shirt she took her first step.

The woman's feet slid on the carpet as she pulled back, using her considerable weight to her benefit as Kagome's well-toned and muscled legs worked against it. Grunting she took another step and turned back around to give another fierce jerk, yanking the fabric out of the other woman's hands.

The challenge was won.

Grinning in victory she stood over the woman and stuck her tongue out at her, before looking at the ruined shirt in her hands. The knitted collar was now stretched out of shape and size, and some of the stitching was coming lose from the sleeves.

Looking back at the woman she smiled pleasantly and put it on top of the rest of the shirts, turning around to signal Inu-yasha to lead her over to the pants. She'd have to hide the shirt somewhere in the dressing room so she wouldn't have to buy it, nor give it to the now muttering woman.

She heard Inu-yasha chuckling before she figured out how amused he was with her antics; however she chose to ignore this, lifting her chin higher as he now easily made his way across the floor, nobody daring to step in his way for fear of being mowed down or thrown aside.

Throwing the pile clothes she held at him she went threw the jeans, instantly spotting two pairs that seemed durable enough to live threw at least a couple of weeks. Adding them to the pile in Inu-yasha's arms he suddenly started complaining.

"How many clothes do you need, woman?" he wondered out loud, sounding both curious and insulting at the same time, "If I can get by with one then there's no reason for you to have hundreds!"

Shooting him with an unheated glare she shrugged her shoulders, "Sadly, Inu-yasha, we can't all have our clothes clean and mend themselves." she informed him, throwing another pair of jeans at him; "Besides, I'm not buying all this, I'm going to try it on." she went on, studying another pair, pulling at the fabric, before setting it back down.

His eyes widening he shook his head, "Try them on?" he asked, as though the idea was ludicrous, "How many are you planning to buy then?"

Shrugging her shoulders vaguely in response a short flowery skirt caught her attention and she walked over to it, happily noticing everyone giving her space after the tug-of-war she went threw.

The skirt went over to the pile to try on, then she added a thin top to that as well, the thin purple and pink fabric perfect for summer wear. The thick fabric of her school uniform never wanted to breath, however she was usually thankful for this when it rained... Probably the reason why her school had thick uniforms at all times.

"Aren't you done yet?" Inu-yasha snapped her back into reality, causing her to roll her eyes.

She nodded her head, "Yeah, I just need to try them on now." she explained, pointing to the dressing rooms as she said so. She didn't have to give any other word as he began walking ahead of her, women and children leaping out of his way as he went.

Once they made it she went inside an open stall and began trying on the different clothes while Inu-yasha waited impatiently in the waiting area with two other men. All of whom, from his view point, looked to be as miserable as him, though they did appear to be more tired.

One man suddenly leaned forward and took off his shoes, sighing blissfully once he'd finished. "She's had me out here since five-thirty this morning." he suddenly gasped out, pointing at his watch as though it held some kind of proof. "Nine hours of shopping and you know what she's bought so far?"

The other man nodded while Inu-yasha gave an interested grunt; watching as the first man lifted up a small bag, then took out an even smaller case. Opening it it showed off a pair of earrings and groaned.

The second man laughed, "At least she bought something." he complained shrugging his shoulders and bringing up his hands, "She's looked and looked, but hasn't found one thing that she's interested in buying." dragging his hands threw his hair he leaned back and stuck his feet out before him, "The only thing she's got me doing is giving my opinion on clothes she doesn't even want."

Finishing his short rant both men looked at Inu-yasha, ready to listen to his shopping woes. Shrugging Inu-yasha pointed behind him, "I'm just here to scare everyone else off." he explained, "The sooner she gets done, the sooner we can leave."

Looking at him the men blinked, "How long have you been here?" man number two asked, his eyes wide.

Shrugging Inu-yasha looked at the clock, "Probably near two or three hours." he answered. Both men stared at him with wide eyes as they made to say something, only to be interrupted by Kagome's appearance.

She held the pile of clothes in her hand; three pairs of jeans and three shirts, as well as the skirt and top she'd found before trying the clothes on. "Okay, Inu-yasha, I'm done." she stated, stepping up to him and handing him the clothes, "Want to go to the grocery store and pick up some more of that ramen you like?" she asked as she began leaving.

Turning to follow her he felt a hand grasp at his clothes, pausing to glare at the offending appendage when he realized the one holding onto it was giving him a look of worship. Staring at the man with a raised eyebrow he waited for what it was that the man wanted to say.

However, when nothing came forth he shrugged his shoulders and walked away, his shirt coming out of the mans hand as he followed Kagome to the counter. Man number one looked at man number two and they both nodded their heads. "The shopping messiah." they murmured together, before their girlfriends came out, the clothing they'd tried held in front of them.

"Sweetie, can you go see if they have this in another size?" woman one asked man two, who was afraid to ask if she meant either larger or smaller.

Woman number two struck a pose and stuck out her rear, "Does this dress make my breasts look smaller?" she asked, sending man number one into a panic of what to answer.

Looking at each other they were tempted to run after the odd silver haired man and ask for advice; however if they left they were sure their girlfriends would yell... So they sat together, sighing in both fear and worry, as they tried to answer their girlfriends without earning their fury over a misplaced look.

Some guys just had all the luck; he probably didn't have a care in the world.


Authors Note: zomg... There is... Woah... MEGA hottie... Right beside me. -Whines- Hard to concentrate.

Ugh, I really need to get my laptop fixed, typing on my pc at home is to distracting, however there's too many hotties here to concentrate on writing either! -Pulls hair out- Curses! Ugh, you should have seen him! Sesshoumaru has real competition in that one.

On a side note, this was written on Yahoo Notepad (because using regular notepad would have been just to simple, I suppose).