Title: Vulcan's Cure to Hiccups *Edited*
Characters: Spock/Kirk, McCoy and Uhura.
Disclaimer: The half-vulcan, cursing doctor, bad ass communication officer, and sexin' captain do not belong to me I am not using them for profit.
Summary: "Well what Spock failed to mention before he beamed down with you to a majority salt water planet was that Vulcan's are allergic to water with high concentrations of salt. Among other side effects are apparently the hiccups." Read and discover the real plot.
Author's Note: This is a one shot that may or may not get as big as What May Come to Pass, its up to Kirk and Spock and how fast they want to get together and not angst around. Enjoy.
Kirk really didn't know how everything had gone wrong so quickly. He had been trying to make some peaceful negotiations with a regular looking humanoid race save for one exception, they had fins for feet. They could only understand humans when they were underwater. The sound waves moved differently in the air then in the water. That is what his very dry and going to stay dry science officer and first officer Mr. Spock explained. Kirk didn't mind swimming or getting wet, all Iowa kids have to learn to cool themselves off during the heat of summer in the ponds still on Earth. He had grown up in a climate that still had standing water produced by rain. Vulcan on the other hand had been an aired dry planet and Spock seemed to be adverse to the idea of jumping into the water; even if he could learn about a new race and language.
So with a smirk and a promise that he would tease Spock about his fear of water later, Kirk placed the H20 to O2 filter over his mouth and jumped in. The problem had come after when a rival clan, family or group; he still was unsure how they were structured, attacked his envoy. The filter had been knocked out of his mouth as he was defending himself, fighting in basically zero gravity was not easy. He started loosing consciousness right before one of the attackers hit his gut, the last thing he remembered was swallowing a lot of salt water.
The first thing he felt when he came back was the press of something hotter then usual against his lips. The push of air into his mouth and down to his lungs, then a pressure against his chest, and then bile and water being pushed up into his throat. He didn't want to cough up the water into the hot mouth so he moved his head slightly and coughed to the side. Slowly he opened his eyes to the bright sun, a strange contrast to the usual cloudy skies of the planet that they had been on. He then noticed that the sun was more steady then natural lighting and realized that he was on his ship. He was soaking wet but that was to be expected as the last thing he remembered was fighting in water and loosing his filter. He turned to look and see who had revived him with such a primitive method. He was surprised to see a very soaked and greening at the edges half-vulcan looking back at him with unsuppressed relief and fear in his dark eyes.
As he heard the lift doors open to let in the rushing Doctor McCoy he noticed the first officer's eyes and face go into his vulcan mask once again. Kirk watched in awe and silence as Spock stood up and walked out passed the grumbling and unhappy doctor.
"Spock you better be in my sick bay as well, you know how salt water can effect your vulcan half." McCoy yelled at the retreating figure. He then looked at Kirk and shook his head raising his eyebrow in confusion. "You must have been past dead for him to jump in after you Jim. Do you know what salt water does to a Vulcan?"
Jim shook his head and immediately regretted it as his head began to ache his brain had not gotten all of its oxygen back. McCoy noticed the scowl of pain on his Captain's face and concentrated on fixing his problems before berating him any more about his stupidity. "Nurse Chapel give me that syringe."
"No more of your perfect remedies McCoy." Kirk tried to joke but he was passing out too quickly. The pinch of pain at his neck just quickened the process so that he could hardly make out the cursing coming from McCoy before he blacked out completely.
The second time Kirk woke up wasn't as pleasant. He was back in dry clothes he knew that, he was comfortable and his head was not pounding. But there wasn't any extra body heat, there was no mouth against his blowing hot air into his mouth and giving him life. There was no one to notice that he had woken up at all.
That he decided was strange, even if he wasn't the captain he would think there would be at least one nurse watching his vitals. But there was no one in the room with him. Slowly as to allow his body to use his legs again he stood and moved across the room, he heard the cursing loud voice of McCoy before he opened the doors.
"You stubborn pointy eared green blooded..."
"Cursing at me *hiccup* will not solve *hiccup* my problem Doctor. *hiccup* I must request time off at *hiccup* New Vulcan, it is the only way *hiccup* to cure my *hiccup* problem."
"You just don't want to admit that you can..." McCoy noticed Jim standing in the door frame from the other room and actually stopped what he was saying as if he didn't want Kirk to hear. "Hello Jim what are you doing up, you should be in bed for another three..."
Jim ignored him and walked over to where Spock was sitting stiff backed, hiccuping every few seconds, and more green then ever. He was only wearing his black undershirt, his blue uniform was lying on the cot haphazardly placed. "What's wrong with Spock?"
"Well what Spock failed to mention before he beamed down with you to a majority salt water planet was that Vulcan's are allergic to water with high concentrations of salt. Among other side effects are apparently the hiccups." To get the point across Spock hiccuped at that moment, Kirk would have laughed but what he saw on Spock's face stopped him. He had only saw pain on Spock's face once before it was when his mother had died right after he was beamed up from the collapsing Vulcan; before he could get control of his emotions. Kirk frowned hiccups were not that bad, they were annoying but eventually went away. So why was Spock illogically upset over what seemed like a minor problem. He should have known...
"Vulcan hiccups are different then our own Jim, they bring on other side effects that..."
Spock held up his hand for once McCoy followed his command. "I would like to take a leave of absence on New Vulcan Captain." Spock spoke his voice was strained.
"Spock what is wrong, their must be a cure that..."
"No one alive will be able to cure me, Captain." Spock stated sadly as if defeated.
"No one alive?" Kirk suddenly figured out what Spock meant, whoever had the cure had been on Vulcan when it was destroyed. He was afraid to ask his next question but he did, "How long will I be without my First Officer?"
"Indefinitely." Spock stated again his voice sounded defeated and weary.
"Captain I think we better let Spock rest." McCoy stated. Jim wanted to object but saw the worry in McCoy's eyes and decided to find out exactly what was wrong with Spock. It seemed McCoy didn't want to discuss certain aspects of Spock's condition in front of Spock. Jim followed McCoy to the other room and watched as he went to his desk and sat down, before looking up at his expectant Captain. When he still didn't talk, Jim got impatient.
"Bones tell me what is going on. There is something both you and Spock are keeping from me and I don't like secrets." Jim said crossing his arms over his chest and looking at McCoy.
"Kirk I don't think..."
"Dammit Bones why is he leaving the ship, we have cured most of the diseases that plagued Earth why can't we solve this problem?" Jim asked frustrated.
McCoy sighed. "Have you ever heard of Ponn Far?" McCoy asked as if changing the subject.
"No I haven't what has that got to do with..."
"Let me finish Jim." McCoy said and indicated that he should sit down. Jim didn't take the offered seat. "After Vulcan was destroyed the Vulcan Council decided to reveal some facts about vulcan physiology to whom it may concern. Because we have a Vulcan as part of our crew I was privy to the information." McCoy paused to let the information sink in. "Ponn Far is the mating ritual of the Vulcans. Every seven year the Vulcan has to have sex with his or her chosen mate. Spock's mate T'Ping was killed on Vulcan. Spock was not due to go under Ponn Far for another year, however the salt water allergic reaction has brought forth Ponn Far earlier then expected. The hiccuping has only been a problem for a small amount of Vulcans; those Vulcans who do get hiccups are never cured. It is a disgrace to have hiccups since the usefulness of that Vulcan's intellect is wasted on them. On top of the hiccups the Ponn Far effects will kill him if he has not taken a mate before a week is through."
Kirk finally sat down trying to take in all the information. He had learned something about the Vulcan culture that was very vital to them and in the same moment he had learned that he might loose his First Officer. "There is no cure?"
"I have found nothing. The Vulcans I have asked have not replied. Spock is as closed mouth and stubborn about it as ever. I was the one who breeched the subject of Ponn Far to him because of his body..."
"What about if he finds a mate, do you think the hiccups will be cured?" Kirk thought quickly.
"As I said it has never been tried usually hiccups are caused by other things, this is the first recorded case of a Vulcan getting hiccups as an allergic reaction to salt water."
"I can't just have him give up, there has to be a cure. Send me the information on Ponn Far maybe another set of eyes will help. Let me know if you find anything I am going to talk to Lieutenant Uhura." Kirk stated as he was about to leave the room.
"Jim you have to realize that their might not be a solution, Spock might not be able to be cured."
"I can't believe that Bones, I wont." Jim stated as the door opened and he left the room.
Jim was not surprised to not find Spock where they had left him. He would have searched for him but he wanted to gets some answers first. He went to the lift and let the quiet of the mechanisms allow him to let the information he had just gained fully sink in. His jaw was set and his lips were decidedly set in a frown as he walked onto the bridge. Most of the personnel were surprised to see him, he suspected Bones had told them not to expect him back on duty for a few hours. He ignored their stares.
"Sulu change course for New Vulcan push her to the maximum speed. Chekov how fast will we get to New Vulcan at our new course and speed."
"Three days sir. We will have to go close to two neutral zones and through a disputed area of space to get there sir."
"I trust you will maneuver her with discretion Sulu, carry on." Kirk stated trusting his Helms men and Tactical officer; they had proven themselves many times already, this time was no different.
"Lieutenant Uhura will you join me in the debriefing room?" Kirk asked it was a question but she knew she had to take it as a command.
"Of course Captain." She stated. She got up and followed Kirk out the door and down the hall to the debriefing room.
"I am sure you have heard about Spock's condition." Kirk stated getting right to the point, their was no time for niceties and protocols.
"Yes Doctor McCoy debriefed me on Spock's condition an hour ago. Has something changed Captain?" Her eyes were dark with worry and Kirk felt his inside twist slightly, he had no time to define the emotion at that moment.
"This might sound too personal lieutenant but I assure you the question I'm about to ask pertains to the problem at hand." He paused to see her understand he would not ask with out her knowledge that it would breech a subject that he had had the maturity not to ask her about. She nodded in understanding her eyes voicing her silent confusion. "What is your relationship with Mr. Spock outside of work? Are you intimate with each other?"
Six months ago if Cadet Kirk had asked her that same question she would have slapped him and told him it was none of his business. However the way he had asked and the way he seemed to be holding his breath in anticipation of the answer made her wonder what truly was wrong with Spock. Spock had never given her a true reason why their intimacy had never been taken further then a kiss, but she suspected it had to do with his Vulcan culture. She had been a comfort for him and they had spent many nights lying with each other in bed sometimes fully dressed, just talking.
"I have helped Spock cope with the loss of his planet and mother, but our friendship has never gone as far as sexual favors. He had told me as much a few nights ago, he seemed to be distracted, I thought he was in love with someone else." Uhura answered honestly.
Kirk let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, one pressure was lifted but an entirely new one was placed on his shoulders. "Did he tell you who he was interested in?" Kirk asked eager to find out if one of his many theories in curing Spock could be proven.
"No, he didn't say anything. I just assumed because he was more distant in the last few months that he had found someone else." Uhura didn't seem too disappointed by the turn of events in terms of her relationship with Spock. Kirk felt she deserved to know about Spock's condition.
"Because of Spock's reaction to salt water from his rescue of me on Zeta Q-5, he has contracted a rare side effect, hiccups." Kirk explained quickly trying to get everything out at once, he needed to go find Spock and ask him if he could potentially bond with one of the crew members maybe even temporarily before they got to New Vulcan. "Also the mating ritual which occurs every seven years has been affected. If Spock doesn't find a mate within the week he will die of consequences from Ponn Far caused by the allergic reaction to salt water. On top of that hiccups at least the Vulcan form are incurable, those who have gotten them have been disgraced, because they are unable to perform their duties."
Uhura's eyes widened as Spock's conditions were described to her and she understood why Kirk had asked the questions he had. "Captain, Spock will not just mate with just anyone, Vulcans are very singular race they can only sleep with one person for their lifetime."
Kirk nodded taking the new information in and trying to work around it, there had to be someone. "Go back to your post and inform Starfleet of our course change, tell them it is a medical emergency for our Vulcan. They will understand the request and adapt the shipment schedule of the medical supplies from Delta 2 to another ship. Inform me if their are any incoming transmitions from New Vulcan, I want to be informed immediatly even if they are private for McCoy only. Thank you Uhura for understanding." Kirk stated with great respect.
"Aye Captain." She said going out of the room and leaving her Captain to ponder what to do next.
"Computer locate Commander Spock." He spoke.
"Location locked voice activation required." The computer responded. Kirk frowned, Spock did not want to be found. He stated his voice identification code and the computer responded. "Commander Spock is on deck 12 observation room B."
"Thank you." Kirk said as he left the room and headed for the nearest lift as he entered he stated. "Deck 12." The lift opened onto an almost diserted hallway. Kirk stepped out of the lift and walked down the hall. As he came up to observation room B he walked up to the door expecting it to open, it did not. He went to the door passkey and again had to give his override code. Now he knew Spock really didn't want to be disturbed. He didn't care what danger he might be getting himself into, he needed to find a solution and Spock seemed to be the only one who might have the answers.
As he entered he was surprised that the lights were off. The only light came from the fast moving stars outside of the large window that encompassed almost 360 degrees of the room. In the center of the observation deck was Spock, he was sitting crosslegged and very still. However every so often Kirk could hear the tell-tale hiccup and knew Spock was still plagued with his problem. Kirk silently walked up to his first Officer knowing that with those pointy ears he probably had already heard him come in.
As he walked up the steps to reach Spock he realized that he could still try the Earth remedies for hiccups and make sure their really was no cure for the Vulcan ones. He was reaching now for solutions but he couldn't allow Spock to believe he had given up, he couldn't allow Spock to see his fear of loosing him. He started listing in his head the remedies he remembered from Earth: holding ones breath, drinking water, standing on ones head, and being surprised were only a few that he remembered.
He walked to stand beside the sitting Spock and waited for him to respond. After going through 30 hiccups with no response he decided to make the first move. He touched Spock's shoulder lightly and jumped back in surprise as Spock almost leaped three feet into the air. If the situation wasn't so grim Kirk would have laughed. "Jim what are you doing..." Spock waited suddenly realizing that he had not hiccuped in *hiccup*. Spock's shoulders fell in defeat.
"I came to talk to you about some cures that might work for your hiccups." Kirk explained. "We are now on our way to New Vulcan if their are no delays we will get there within the week, enough time for you to find your mate on New Vulcan." Kirk tried to sound more encouraging then he felt.
"Thank you captain but..." *hiccup*
"Spock you have saved me on countless occasions from both my self and from others. I hope that you will at least humor me for the next few days and allow me to try some Earth remedies on you." Kirk stated hoping that it didn't sound too much like a beg and more like a Captain-friend's command-request.
Spock did not respond his hiccups were the only thing that broke the silence as Kirk waited for Spock to answer. Kirk got impatient as the 40th hiccup then the 50th hiccup passed. Finally he decided to speak again thinking of a compromise. "Allright how about I show you three ways to cure hiccups from earth if they don't work then I will leave you alone until we get to Vulcan."
Spock seemed to realize that the only way to have his Captain leave him alone was to agree so he nodded. "I have no knowledge..." *hiccup*
"That's allright my brother had problems with hiccups when we were younger, we tried many things before he was able to get rid of them." Kirk explained.
"I am only half *hiccup* human Captain what worked on *hiccup* him may not work on me." He stated. *hiccup*
"I know Spock. The first one we tried was surprise but that doesn't count as one of my three," He felt like he was talking to a genie and begging to take back one of his wishes. Spock inclined his head. "It seemed to work for a few seconds which is encouraging." Kirk stated trying to see the positive side, at least for Spock's benifit.
"It didn't work so your conclusion that Earth cures may work on me is still invalid." Spock stated.
"First is holding your breath." Kirk stated ignoring Spock's comment.
"How is that to help with...?" *hiccup*
"Don't try to think of the illogic behind the remedies Spock. They are created by humans." Kirk stated.
Spock conceeded that point and pressed his mouth together his eyes never leaving Kirk. Kirk watched Spock's mouth not on purpose but to make sure he wasn't cheating, at least that is what he told himself as his mind tried to give him other reasons that he wasn't ready to acknowledge. Spock held for three seconds but then hiccupped, Kirk raised his eyebrow as he waited for Spock to try again, Spock did not. Kirk sighed.
"Ever hear of the saying if once you don't suceed try, try again? Two more times Spock you of all people should know an experiment can't be determined by only one test." Kirk stated proud of himself for defending his ideas.
Spock seemed to conceed and tried again, this time it only took a second and a half for the hiccup to come. Kirk sighed their had to be another way, he believed Spock was thinking too much. He looked at Spock then at his mouth and then realized what had eventually cured his brother of his hiccups. As Spock took another long breath to get ready to hold his breath Kirk made ready to make his move. As Spock clamped down his lips one more time Kirk moved in.
Distraction is what helped his brother, Kirk would try and make his brother laugh while he was holding his breath, as a younger brother who loved to annoy his sibling would do. Eventually they realized that it was Kirk's distractions from thinking about the hiccups that caused them to stop not the gurguling water, the holding of breath or the standing on ones head. Kirk decided to try his own form of distraction with Spock, he pressed his lips to his First Officer, stopping the flow of air and also distracting him from what could have possiblely been his next hiccup.
Spock's mouth opened with surprise and Kirk stepped back giving Spock room. They looked at eachother for sometime, after a while Kirk realized that the hiccups were gone. He smiled. "See I told you third times the charm." He said trying to blow off the kiss as if it was nothing, the same way Spock's riviving of him from the watery grave had been ignored.
"Captain...Jim I..." Spock tried to speak but for once he seemed without words.
Kirk would have been proud of himself if he didn't feel so defeated, a weight was lifted from his shoulders but it had seemed to have fallen to press against his heart. "Now you will not have to leave Starfleet once you find your mate on New Vulcan you will be able to return. I will..." Kirk swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued. "I will understand if you do not want to return to the Enterprise."
There was no response from Spock as Kirk turned and walked out of the observation room, Kirk took that as an agreement to his words. As he walked down the hall he should have been happy he had allowed Spock to not be disgraced to give him another chance at Starfleet once he returned from his leave on New Vulcan. Something else was making him unhappy. Kirk had felt it before a saddening that he might have only felt once before when he had gotten the news that his mother had passed away while he was too far away from Earth to attend the funeral. He tried to push the feeling away their was no reason for him to be unhappy and yet his heart would not allow him to smile.