It's been exactly 2 weeks since Colby's been back on the team. Two weeks of Colby trying to make amends, two weeks of his team trying to forgive him and move on, well at least everyone but David.
David couldn't see past the betrayal, the two years of lies, which in his mind added up to two years of a fake friendship. David also couldn't stop feeling guilty, like he had told Megan, until he saw that needle sticking out of Colby's chest, he was sure the ex-soldier was guilty of everything he was being accused of. David was struggling between being mad at Colby and hating himself for not trusting Colby. He didn't know how to let out his self hatred so he took that out on Colby as well; giving him the cold shoulder, ignoring him whenever he could, practically making Colby feel like crap. David knew what he was doing was wrong, it wasn't like he was outright saying anything mean to Colby but he knew actions spoke a lot louder than words and he knew it was hurting Colby, he could see it in the young agents face every single day. He also knew he shouldn't be treating his best friend, or ex-best friend, or whoever he was to him now, like this but he was just so hurt…too hurt to apologise to Colby and had too much pride to admit he may be at more fault than Granger, so he didn't even try.
Colby on the other hand was trying every single day to repair all the broken relationships he had caused with his team, particularly with David. He had made progress with everyone except David. Charlie never hated him to begin with, but that was just like Charlie, the guy simply didn't have a mean bone in his body. Liz, as she had mentioned to him, hadn't been around long enough to be as deeply hurt by what he had done and Don and Megan, although they admitted things were still a bit awkward, had practically forgiven him and moved on. It's funny though, one would think that things would be looking up for Colby since he had the forgiveness of Don, Megan, Charlie, and Liz, but the truth of them matter was he still didn't have the acceptance and forgiveness of the one person he truly wanted it from, David. And that hurt more than anything.
It was a quiet Monday afternoon and everyone was in a pretty good mood. It had been a quiet day so far, which was rare at the FBI, so everyone knew to enjoy it while it lasted. Don and Megan were sort of just hanging around, searching up old files, and David was in the break room grabbing some coffee. Colby, seeing David alone, walked in, he figured maybe attempt number 125 of trying to have a conversation with David would be successful, so Colby walked into the break room.
"Hey man," he said as he cautiously moved beside David to grab a cup of coffee.
David turned around and walked out without so much as an acknowledgment.
Colby let his head hang; maybe attempt 126 will be successful.
Lunches were pretty awkward in the break room as well. Whenever they'd get the chance the team usually had lunch together but these days when David would see Colby in the break room he'd just opt to have lunch at his desk or if Colby walked into the break room to have lunch and David was already there, he'd get up and leave.
Colby hated how things were between them, they used to go for runs everyday during lunch, and now David couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him. To any outsider Colby would seem like David's arch enemy.
But Colby wasn't giving up, he was determined to walk into that lunch room everyday until David stayed in there. However today was different, today Colby saw something that made his heart ache, something that made him realize that maybe David would be better off without him.
As I walked to the lunch room, knowing David was already in there, I was determined to make him stay. As I approached the lunch room I heard something that oddly sounded like laughter. From where I was standing I could see Don and Megan, who had their backs to the door, talking about something and laughing, and then I saw David, who was sitting down facing the door, say something back to them. David then did something that I hadn't seen in weeks…he smiled…no not just smiled…he was actually laughing. David actually looked happy for the first time in weeks, and I felt like the scum of the earth because in my attempts to get David to forgive me I never considered how much I must be hurting him by making him face me everyday. I didn't realize that I was keeping that smile off of David's face and that laughter out of his mouth. I didn't realize how glad I was to see David actually smiling and laughing until I heard his laughter again, man I've missed his crazy laughter. I never realised that my heart could feel so happy and so miserable at the same time. It was at that moment that I realised that I was keeping David from being happy, that maybe if I was out of the picture David could be happy again. That fact alone hurt more than any of Lancer's needles ever could.
Not wanting to wipe off the only smile David's shown in weeks off his face, Colby took one last look at David and decided to walk away. What he didn't count on was David locking eyes with him. For a brief second his heart filled with hope thinking David would smile at him or give him some sort of acknowledgment that it was okay for him to enter, but instead the smile was slowly starting to disappear off David's face, and Colby understood…he understood clearly…so he gave David a weak smile and walked away.
Colby walked through the FBI doors to have lunch outside…by himself.
I'm not exactly sure why what Don said made me laugh but it did! It's been the first time in weeks I've heard my own laugh, I started to forget what it sounded like. It felt good to be able to laugh again, to actually smile, this whole thing with Colby has sucked out loud. And speak of the devil, just as I look up who do I see. I feel the anger boil inside me and I glare at him. I just know he's going to walk in here and ruin my good mood in his attempt to make us reconcile. As I'm waiting for him to walk in so I can walk out, I see that he hasn't moved from his spot and I look at his face…and this time I actually look at it, and my anger starts to be replaced with something else…I'm not exactly sure what though, it's definitely something akin to guilt. Colby looks sad…like someone stole my toy solider sad…and I realize that he's not going to walk in this time. He gives me a weak smile and he just walks away, walks outside and sits on a bench by himself pulling out his sandwich. I want to feel angry, I want to be mad at him, but I feel more guilt than anything else. I don't want to feel guilty, I shouldn't have to feel guilty, HE lied to me, not the other way around, he betrayed our friendship, orders be damned, the last 2 years of our friendship have been a lie, every personal thing I told him, and the whole time he was spying on us…on me…who knows if he went and told his superior any of the personal shit I told him. God I just want to be angry with him, but this guilt I feel, like right now as I watch Colby sitting out there by himself, it seems to be a reoccurring emotion with me lately.
The next two days are pretty quiet at the FBI as well, there are some small cases, a drug bust here a gang bust there, but nothing too major. David had started to notice Colby's distance since that incident in the break room. Colby hasn't attempted to get David to talk to him and he's been having lunch outside by himself the past 2 days. David feels guiltier than ever but he can't put his pride aside and go talk to Colby, he still can't get past the betrayal.
The third day starts out quietly but soon turns into a hunt for a kidnapper. This has been the most action the team has received all weak and all of them have been itching for a good case. Don calls everyone into the meeting room.
"His name is Mike Marciano, the name should be familiar to you guys, we helped him a few months back in getting his daughter back from those kidnappers."
"So why is he our target now?" questioned Megan.
"Marciano has kidnapped his best friend Philip Recosie. We don't know why, his best friend's wife called the police yesterday when she saw her husband being taken by Marciano. We've been called in because we've dealt with Marciano so L.A.P.D is hoping we'll know how to talk Marciano out of this since we helped bring his daughter back"
"I can run an analysis on potential places where Marciano can be holding Recosie, so that we can narrow down our search," piked in Charlie.
"Great Chuck, get right on that! As for the rest of you, I had two federal agents contact me earlier today when they heard we were on the case. These two have dealt with the L.A.P.D on several kidnapping cases so they have offered their assistance. Oh here they are right now"
As the two agents walked into the room, Colby froze.
The agents introduced themselves and shook every agents hand in the room. And they finally made their way over to Colby who was sitting at the other end of the room from where they entered.
"Agent Granger, it's a pleasure to meet you, we hear you're a hero," said Agent Martin.
Colby didn't know what to say, he stood there for a second looking at the hand presented to him. Every bone in his body told him not to shake that hand, but he didn't have a choice, his team couldn't know. So he shook their hands as they smiled at him.
David was watching the interaction a few feet away and he could see the uncomfortableness on Colby's face and he could see Colby's body go rigid. He saw something in Colby's eyes, something really close to fear and as Colby apprehensively shook Agent Martin's hand David didn't know why but for a second his protectiveness of Colby came out and he wanted to go rip their hands apart. Something was up, David could tell, but once again his pride got in the way of talking to Colby about it.
Agent Martin and Agent Rintool provided intel that first day and that was simply that. The rest was left to the team and Charlie. Charlie eventually found where Marciano had taken Recosie.
The team was ready with SWAT and headed to the warehouse. The minute they barged in there they found a beaten and bleeding, but very much still alive, Recosie. Don tried to reason with Marciano, this wasn't the Marciano that this team knew months ago. That Marciano was a kind man who loved his family, this Marciano was a man who seemed intent on revenge. Don, David, Megan and Colby stood within feet of eachother, all of them had their guns trained on Marciano. It was David who spoke first.
"Tom, man, you don't want to do this"
"NO?! NO?! How the hell would you know what I want and don't want Agent Sinclair."
"Because we know you Tom, you're a good guy, you don't do this kind of stuff"
"Well maybe I do now!! Maybe I have reason to now!"
"What reason is that Tom?" asked Megan. "What changed in the last few months that made you want to take your best friend's life?"
"IT'S HIS FAULT!" yelled Tom
"What's his fault?" questioned Don.
"Lilly," Tom said with a more defeated voice.
Lilly, the entire team thought…the daughter!
"Your daughters fine Tom," replied David.
"HE DID IT! HE DID IT!" Tom yelled as he pointed the gun at Recosie's face.
"Did what?" asked Megan.
"HE STAGED HER KIDNAPPING! HE STAGED IT TO GET MONEY!"
The entire team went quiet. How could that have been, they surely would've caught it.
"HE STAGED THE ENTIRE THING, THE RANSOM WAS GOING TO HIM!"
It was Recosie's turn to finally speak up.
"You were a money hungry pig! I built your empire and you gave me nothing!"
Tom lifted the barrel of the gun to Recosie's head.
"SEE!!!!! THE BASTARD HAD MY BABY GIRL KIDNAPPED, HE PLANNED THE WHOLE THING, HE EVEN PLANTED A BUG IN OUR HOUSE TO SEE WHERE SHE'D BE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY AND THEN HE REMOVED THE BUG BEFORE YOU GUYS GOT THERE!"
When David heard this something in him snapped. His mind took him back to the interrogation room where Colby had admitted to placing that Chinese bug in that couch two years ago and then removing it when David was in the other room.
"Tom, listen to me, LISTEN TO ME! He's not worth it, you have a family, you have a daughter…you kill him and you'll never see them again! He's not worth it, best friends lie all the time, they betray you and turn their backs on you…they aren't worth it! They're never worth it!!!"
Colby felt his heart sink as he heard those words, he knew David was trying to make sure Marciano didn't kill Recosie, but part of him knew that David's quip was intended for him as well. Don and Megan didn't miss it either.
Marciano seemed to let his body sag a bit at these words.
"He could've gotten her killed…I trusted him…"
"I know man, I know, but killing him, it's not the way. We have a confession out of him now, we can arrest him for conspiracy for kidnapping. He'll get his just desserts, but you gotta let us handle this our way."
Maricano seemed to be considering David's words.
"Okay.." David pushed.
After several minutes of Marciano standing there quietly he finally gave in.
***Back at the Office***************************************
"David, break room, now!" Don practically yelled.
"What the hell was that?!"
"What was what?"
"You damn well know what I'm talking about David!"
"I was doing my job Don, I kept him from shooting the guy didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did, but don't even act like that was all about Marciano, I know you too well David, that was a jab at Colby."
David just stood there starring at Don.
"So what if it was? I'm entitled at a jab or two here and there!"
Don starred at him with disbelief and took a deep breath and thought about what he was going to say before he said something he'd regret.
"I get that you were hurt by this whole Chinese fiasco okay, hell you were the most hurt out of Megan, Liz, myself and you, there's no doubt about that, but bringing it to work, using it at work…that shit doesn't fly with me Sinclair! Do you understand me! You're not 5 years old, man up and deal with this shit with Colby! Because you bring your personal shit into work cases again and you're on desk duty until you get your mind straight, do you hear me!"
And with that Don stormed out of the room leaving David standing there fuming.
Colby and Megan had heard the entire conversation and Megan could see the guilt on Colby's face.
"Colb, it's not your fault okay"
"How is it not my fault, he just got in shit because of me"
"No, it was because of him, not you, we all have stuff to deal with Colby, we just can't bring it to work, and David knows that as well as you and I do, so don't beat yourself up okay."
Colby just gave her a weak nod as she walked back to her desk. Colby was still standing by the break room as David stormed out of there. He stopped the minute he opened the door and glared at Colby.
"Not everyone agrees with you Megan," thought Colby sadly.
Everyone was edge for the next few days. David was practically avoiding Don as much as he could, and he was avoiding Colby more than he was before. David eventually realised that he was wrong, but he still didn't appreciate being yelled at for everyone to hear. And Colby, he knew he'd been spending the past few days making Colby feel worse than he knew he already did, and David wanted to apologise, he really did because what he did was uncalled for and he really didn't mean it. He did it on purpose to hurt Colby, and he knew he succeeded, he just didn't imagine he'd feel like such crap for hurting Colby like that. Anytime things seemed like they may get better something happened to make it worse. David took a deep breath, he didn't know how things would ever get back to normal around here.
Colby had spent the last few days thinking about what had happened at the warehouse. Despite the kidnapping and the almost murder, he always came back to David's comment. A part of him knew David said it just to hurt him, but the other part of him believed that David truly meant it, that David truly believed that he was not worth it anymore, that their friendship wasn't worth it anymore. Colby hated being the source of anyone's pain and he hated the fact that he was making his best friends life miserable just by being around. So Colby knew what he had to do.
Colby saw David in the break room and walked in, letting the door close behind him. The minute David saw Colby he started to walk out.
"David can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Can't, gotta go."
"David…please…it's important," Colby said as he turned to face David. David's back was to him but he had stopped in his advance to leave the room.
David stopped when he heard Colby say "please", there was something in his voice, something that David couldn't walk away from. So David turned around to face his former best friend.
Colby took a deep breath.
"I know these past few weeks have been hard, and I know you hate me…"
"I don't hate you" David wanted to say…but couldn't.
"But as much as you hate me, you're still my best friend and I don't want to be holding you back, I don't want you to have to feel awkward or uncomfortable at work, and I don't want you to get in trouble because of me. I've seen you smile once in the past 3 weeks, and man you used to laugh all the time," Colby said with a sad smile.
"Don't give yourself so much credit Granger," David remarked bitterly.
"That's…that's not what I'm trying to do David," Colby said as he looked down.
David didn't know why he just said that, he just couldn't seem to have a decent conversation with Colby anymore, he always felt like he had to say something to hurt Colby.
"I just…I'll just cut to the chase, you guys are my family…you're my family…despite everything that's happened I still consider you more than my best friend, I consider you my brother, everyone knows that, you used to know that too. But I don't want to hurt you anymore by sticking around, this team is just as much yours as it is mine, if not more… I think that we can work it out…if you try…but if you don't want to…"
David started to get an uneasy feeling about where this was going.
"If you want me gone, just say the words David, and I'll leave, I'll transfer somewhere else, take that job up in DC or something…" Colby looked up as he waited for David's response.
David stood there, starring blankly at Colby. Colby looked so sad, he looked so alone…and David didn't want him gone, he was angry sure, but the thought of possibly never seeing Granger again…In his heart he didn't want Colby to leave…but his mouth spoke of a different tale
"Yea…I want you gone…."
Colby looked up from the spot on the floor he was so fascinated with and starred at David. He knew this was coming, he hoped it wouldn't but deep down he knew. He had tried to prepare himself for David's remark, but he realised that no matter how hard he had tried, how many times he had pictured David telling him he wanted him gone, it hurt like hell to actually hear it come out of David's mouth. His best friend truly did hate him.
David couldn't believe what he had just said. He saw Colby look at him and he saw the emotions flood through the younger agent's eyes. Shock, hurt, fear, and finally resignation. He could see the tears in Colby's eyes and it took everything in him to hide his own. This time it wasn't David who walked out of the break room, it was Colby, as he shook his head acknowledging David's decision.