Disclaimer: The manga Houshin Engi and its characters belong to Fujisaki Ryu.
I hate you.
It's kind of silly and childish, I know, but who will not hate the person who killed their beloveds? You made my friends killed, and the others who aren't are lost their beloved too. Is there even one reason for me to not hate you?
But the funniest part is that you are me and I am you.
You are a part of me and I am a part of you. We are our selves but yet, we're also one self. Because we are one, all I did and all you did are my– our– responsibility. My friends, your 'friends', the people who once respected me and the people who once respected you. My memories of being 'me' and your memories of being 'you'. All blurred into one, into me– into us.
Actually I feel a bit sorry for you; your life is harder than mine. Being traded with Youzen and trapped in a jail very near with youkais, cursing all day. Your soul even became broken again, that time into three, thanks to your 'mother'. Well, I am a part of your broken soul too, but I don't have the memories of your life so it's really hard for me to believe that we're one and the same. But remembering how tricky you are, maybe it's true after all.
But you killed my companions, my friends. So I still hate you. But you're me, and I know that it's unfair for me to think of you too selfishly like that.
My mind understands that what you've done is not a wrong thing to do, but my heart didn't want to understand. Well, as Taikoubou, I used my heart to decide on my actions, while you used only your mind. That's why you always got the results faster than me–with a lot more victims, I know. But it can't be dodged. Someone said that if we want to get a result, there must be something we give in exchange. I've tried my best to suppress the casualties, and it's really a hard work.
But now, after the merge that made me understand fully about you, the only thing I hope is just for the-feeling-of-wanting-to-help-and-keep-other-people-safe will still being kept within my– your– our– mind and heart.
I apologize for all mistakes I made. Please review and let me know what you think.
I made this some years ago (in Indonesian language, of course; that time I still got 6,5 for my English subject at school) and translate it into English some days ago. I've read Mirror Mirror by Joydrop and Mirror Image by Snarf a month ago and I think they're beautiful. And it made me remember of this fic I made years ago. I apologize, I didn't copy the idea, I made this fic before I know about ffn. If any of you thinks that I mustn't set this fic here (or if you accuse me for lying and just making excuses, but no, I'm not), tell me and I'll delete this fic.
And please don't kill me! I'm too young to die! -run away and prays every ten steps-
To be continued...?