Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

Orangutans
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

Yomi had been pleased when she had been paired with Chiyo for their class project on animals. She had not, however, been so pleased upon hearing that the third member of their group was to be one Takino Tomo.

That was why the three of them were currently sitting in Chiyo's room, surrounded by books on monkeys. Yomi and Chiyo were looking through the books while Tomo sprawled out on the floor with a manga in her hand. Yomi and Chiyo had long since agreed that the easiest way to get this work done was to just leave Tomo to her own devices.

Things were getting along quite nicely, so Chiyo decided to go and make some tea for everyone. As luck would have it, Tomo's Numbnut-senses kicked in as soon as Chiyo had disappeared.

"Hey, Yomi, what's an orangutan?" Tomo asked.

Yomi sighed. "Why are you suddenly asking that?"

"Coz it says something about orangutans in this book, and I dunno what one of them is."

"It's a monkey," Yomi said shortly. "Now shut up and let me work."

Tomo, as usual, didn't appear to have been listening to a thing Yomi had just said. "Are orangutans orange?"

"Yes, Tomo, orangutans are orange," Yomi sighed. "Why are you asking me?"

"Coz the word orangutans looks kinda like the word orange," Tomo replied. "Wow, so they actually are orange! Haha, orange monkeys! Are they orange because they eat too many oranges?"

"Tomo, shut up," Yomi growled.

Tomo carried on regardless. "I thought orangutans were monkeys, though. And don't monkeys eat bananas?"

"Yes, Tomo, they do."

"Well if monkeys eat bananas, why aren't they yellow?"

"What are you on about?"

"If orangutans are orange from eating too many oranges, why aren't monkeys yellow from eating too many bananas?" She stopped and glared at Yomi. "You LIAR!"

"Is there any particular reason that you're screaming at me?" Yomi asked.

"Yes. You lied! Lied, lied, lied. Orangutans are not orange. You cannot get orange monkeys!"

"Actually, Tomo, orangutans are orange," Chiyo said, walking into the room.

"Wow, so there really are orange monkeys!" Tomo gasped in amazement.

"Except that they aren't monkeys – they're apes," Chiyo replied. "But yes, like I said, they are orange."

Tomo looked over at Yomi, frowning. "YOU said they were monkeys."

"So? They practically are?"

Unfortunately for Yomi, Tomo seized upon this opportunity and started singing something along the lines of "Yomi got a fact wrong, Yomi got a fact wrong!"

"You're a buffoon," Yomi sighed in exasperation.

"I'm a baboon? Then what are you, a gorilla?" Tomo asked.

Yomi groaned, "You are a moron."

Tomo laughed, then an evil grin appeared on her face.

"What is it now?"

"I knew what an orangutan was all along, mind."

It was times like this, Yomi decided, that she really, really wanted to kill Tomo.