Heya, I've been thinking about this story for ages and only thought about writing it a few minutes ago!! I've thought it through loads of times so I hope its good!
Please, please, please tell me what you think about it.
I'll try not to drag the story on too long, writing tips would be appreciated a lot!
My goal is to get people hocked by the first chapter!!
Things had been going absolutely great for Archie up until the wedding reception a few weeks ago.
He'd had both his beautiful daughters, Ronnie and Roxy, he was getting married to the love of his life, Peggy, things couldn't get any better.
Of course they couldn't, they could only get worse.
Night of the wedding: Archie's POV
Good God, what the hell has that stupid girl done?! She's ruined everything for me, I've only just got my girls back and now… everything
could be totally ruined.
Ronnie had just run out the door after Danielle, leaving Archie there with Roxy and Peggy staring at him in complete disbelief.
No one really knew exactly what was going on. Danielle had been screeching at Ronnie who had kicked her out and then Ronnie was running out after her. The whole pub was in utter confusion and everyone looking to Archie for answers which he didn't want to give.
People had started to leave after feeling the awkwardness grow with the second, soon half of the people in the pub had quietly left.
The time seemed to pass incredibly slowly because what seemed like a few seconds later Stacy rushed into the Vic looking like she was still half drunk but at the same time looked extremely worried, she said there had been a accident with Danielle.
Can this night get any worse? The only thing I can hope for now is that she's dead. That'll set Ronnie straight, she'll probably hate me but she'll get what she deserves.
2 hours later in the hospital
Ronnie's going mad, I though I was going to go mad myself just looking at her. Thank god Roxy's got her outta here.
I need to figure out what I'm gonna do. If Danielle lives I'm screwed, but if she dies, which she most likely will in her state, then there's hope.
She'll be out of the way for good then. She has to go no matter what. No matter what it takes. She'll go.
Just then a doctor came round the corner looking at the now very empty room. It had been full just a few minutes ago of a group of formally dressed people, some in tears, some comforting those in tears and some still trying to figure out what had happened and why they were even in a hospital. Now all the people there was a man in his 30's who was reading with great interest, what looked like the new issue of OK Magazine, a very old lady staring at a clock as if willing it to move faster and a very drained looking Archie. Pretty boring looking bunch the lot of them.
"Danielle Jones? Any one here for Danielle Jones?" the doctor called out looking at a clip board in his hands.
"Yes, me, I'm her grandfather." Archie replied, I'm the only one here so this is my chance.
"Hi, I'm doctor Mason. There no one else here?" the doctor seemed surprised that everyone else has seemed to of disappeared. "They're getting food in the canteen." Archie simply said, because that's where everyone had gone, Peggy had suggested they all get something to eat because they hadn't eaten at the reception. "Oh, ok." he took another look around then down at his clipboard then back up at Archie. "I'm really sorry but Danielle slipped into a coma and it doesn't look like it's one she's gonna come out of anytime soon. There are some things that you can do such as moving her to a private hospital where she'd be able to be on life support for a while. If she stays here we can only offer that for a limited time. There is also a possibility that if she wakes up she could have memory loose (sp?) because of the injury to her head. Most relatives like to keep them on life support for as long as possible because it is quite usual for people to wake up from this kind of head injury but it can take years. " The doctor said, every word spoken with such consideration but Archie couldn't of cared less. He was too busy thinking of all the possibilities he now had.
It would be hard but if he could pull off what he was thinking, he'd be able to fool everyone that had ever known Danielle.
He'd fake her death, make people think she was dead while she was in a coma.
And he had the perfect plan forming in his head that second.
I REALLY hope that it was good!
I re-wrote a lot of it and it's now a lot better, I think.
Please leave reviews, tell me what you thought, what you think will happen,
what you want to happen and tips on how to write better would be great too.