Duo is marrying the love of his life; it's just too bad that Wufei is only doing it as a favor.

A not so bright idea. 1/3

This is another part of my fanfiction cliché project, but it just got so big that I decided to post it on its own.

Fanfiction cliché – The fake marriage

In which two people get married for other reasons then love.


"Deported?!" Duo screeched.

"Yes." The stone faced man said, uncaring that Duo looked like he was having a heart attack on the other side of the over-flowing desk. "In two weeks, to be exact. You have that time to settle your affairs before you will be deported back to L2."

"But - but I can't leave!"

The man did not even look up from the file in front of him. "I'm afraid that is not up to you."

Duo thought desperately. He did not want to leave earth, especially to get stuck on L2 - the toilet of the universe. "But - but I'm getting married soon." Duo choked out, telling himself that it wasn't a lie if he could just find someone who would marry him.

The man lifted a bushy eyebrow, giving him a bored look. "Really now, and I suppose that your betrothed is a citizen of Earth?" He sighed like had heard the excuse a thousand times before.

Duo nodded so hard it felt like his head was going to fall off. "Yes, really."

The man reaching down into one of his desk drawers, pulling out a bunch of papers that he handed over to the wide eyed pilot. "Well in that case, fill out these papers and send them back here together with a copy of the marriage license and your partners identification."

Duo rasped out a quick "Thank you." before escaping, papers pressed tightly up against his chest.


"Shit, shit, shit." Duo whispered desperately under his breath as he pushed the glass door open, rushing out from the intimidating government building. All around him, people were moving past him, unconcerned that his life was falling to pieces.

He paused for a second, shivering in the warm summer air, clenching the life-saving paper tightly. Who did he know that was a citizen of Earth? And even worse, who did he know that would agree to marry him?

The other pilots came to mind, but Heero was already married, Trowa was from L3, Quatre was from L4 and Wufei from L5... except that there was no L5 anymore...

Duo's cell phone came out faster then Heero could pull a gun, and he quickly pressed in the number to his friend.

The signal went out and Duo waited impatiently. "Preventer office 547, officer Chang speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hey Wufei, where are your citizenship from?"

A deep, annoyed sigh was heard. "Duo, I told you. No private calls on this number."

Feeling distracted, Duo walked across the street towards his old, beaten up truck, barely managing not to get hit by a bicycle messenger and a honking taxi. "You never answer your cell phone." He accused.

"I can not have my private phone on while I'm working."

Duo searched through his pockets, searching for his car key among all the junk he carried around. "Exactly, and you're always working, now just answer the question."

Wufei tiredly muttered something in what Duo assumed was Chinese. "Earth, I'm a citizen of Earth."

"Fantastic, will you marry me?" Duo asked before he could stop and think about what he was doing.

Another sigh could be heard. "I am never getting drunk with you again."

Duo paused with his found key in the lock, not following what his friend was talking about. "What?"

"We talked about this before. Just because we are both attracted to males does not mean that we should sleep together." Wufei said slowly like he was talking to a child. A very stupid child.

"Who said anything about sex? I just need you to marry me so that I can stay on the planet."

There was a moment of silence. "What?"

Duo ripped the rusty door open and climbed in, slamming it closed several times before it stuck. "The government is kicking me out! After all I've done for them and their shitty little society."

Wufei groaned like Duo's mere existence was painful for him."Don't you know anyone else who can do it?"

Duo snorted. "Not if you don't expect me to propose to Mr. Jameson at work, or the mailman."

There was a brief pause. "What do you need?"

"Your signature on a few papers, that's all." He said, flipping through the forms in his hand.

"Fine, I'll do it. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

Relief spread in his veins and Duo relaxed back in his seat. "Thanks man, you're the greatest."

"Yeah, yeah. Now get off the line, some of us have work to do."

"Sure thing."

It wasn't until Duo hung up that the reality struck him. That maybe asking Wufei of all people to marry him was not one of his brighter ideas. This for the simple reason that Duo, somewhere at the age of fifteen had fallen in love with the justice obsessed swordsman, and then never really stopped.

"This is not going to end well." Duo breathed, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. Sometimes his own impulses really came back to bite him in the ass.


Wufei was true to his word and by the next day, the application for a marriage license were sent off.

Duo celebrated their engagement by inviting himself over to dinner. Wufei didn't protest, but on the other hand, he never did. Duo had gotten in to the habit of staying over at Wufei's apartment a couple of times a week, both because he wanted to spend time with Wufei, but also to avoid going home to his empty apartment. Not to mention that Wufei's place was a lot closer to the electronic shop where he worked.

He knew that Wufei didn't mind having him over, his friend had said so himself during a desperate, more then a little pathetic attempt to get Wufei drunk enough to sleep with him. It didn't work but he had gotten a lot of fun information out of his friend who turned out to be a real chatterbox when he had too much to drink.

The eventing was spent quietly in front of the television, Wufei reading up on some reports while glancing up every now end then to watch the movie Duo had chosen. Neither spoke of their new status as a soon-to-be married couple.


Duo stumbled out from Wufei's guest room, following the smell of mint into the kitchen. Breakfast was already on the table, since Wufei didn't trust him to feed himself, especially during breakfast, where Duo preferred sugary cereals before anything else.

Wufei was sitting on the other side of the table with a pile of folders in front of him. He had clearly already eaten, tea mug half full but still steaming.

"So, when are you going to get back from your assignment?" Duo asked in greeting, scratching his chest through the thin t-shirt he always slept in at Wufei's place. He usually slept in the nude but after a few awkward run-ins with Wufei on the way to the bathroom, he had decided to sleep in his boxers and a t-shirt. For both their sakes.

Wufei shuffled through the papers spread out before him."Knowing Heero, he will want to go through every single footnote before we act, so I'm guessing midnight."

Duo snickered as he put a slice of cheese on a piece of dark bread. "Poor bastard. Is he going to be picking you up or what?"

Wufei glanced up on the stainless steel clock hanging on the wall. "Yeah, he should be here in half an hour or so."

"I repeat, you poor bastard." He pored tea in his mug, taking a sip of it, only to frown as he swallowed. "I really have to get you some better tea."

Wufei just grunted as if to tell him that there was nothing wrong with mint tea. "Are you coming back here after work?"

Duo shrugged as he wrapped his hands around the mug. "I don't know, maybe. Why?"

"Just wondering if I have to take more lunch boxes out off the fridge."


Wufei nodded, turning his attention back to his papers.

Duo ate his breakfast in silence, glancing over at Wufei every now and then just because he could.

Half an hour later while Duo was in the middle of brushing his teeth, there was a polite knocking on the door. Spitting out the toothpaste in his mouth, he went out to open it. But on the other side were not a duty focused Heero like he expected, instead an older man with light gray hair, wearing a spotless suit stood with a clip board in his hand. "Wufei Chang?"

"Um, no." He responded, just about to call for his friend when the man spoke again.

"Duo Maxwell then I presume?"

Duo blinked in surprise, wondering just who the guy was and how the hell he knew his name.

"I'm Richard Thompson from the Imigration Inspection."

Duo's mouth dropped open, fear gripping his chest. "Oh."

The older man adjusted his thin framed glasses. "May I come in?"

"Sure." Duo showed him in with his toothbrush. The man stepped in, looking around the apartment with a slightly suspicious air.

Duo rubbed the edges of his mouth, making sure that he didn't have any toothpaste smeared there. "So, um. What is this about?"

The man studied the nervous teen for a second before responding. "Well since you filed a request for a marriage license the day after you received your deportation decision it's routine for us to make sure that the marriage request is sincere." The man gave Duo a long searching look as he tried not to squirm. "We have had a lot of people trying to fool the system."

"Really?" Duo asked, hoping that he didn't sound as scared as he felt. Then he saw salvation walk into the room. "Hey Wu-babe!" Duo called out, grateful that he had never given in to Wufei's demands to stop calling him by ridicules nicknames, there by making Wufei immune to them. The Chinese did not even frown at the name, he simply walked over to them.


Good old reliable Wufei did not as much as tense up when Duo wrapped an arm around his waist.

"This is Mr Thompson, he's going to make sure that our relationship is real."

He could feel Wufei tensing slightly against his side. "Why exactly?"

"Well apparently there have been a lot of people getting married simply to stay on the planet." Duo told him, trying his best to sound casual.

"Really?" Wufei asked like he had never heard of such a thing. Duo was really grateful that one of them, not only havenothing against lying, but were also very good at it.

The older man adjusted his glasses. "Yes, we are actually an entire department dedicated to simply catching all the people trying to twist the law to their own advantage."

Wufei nodded calmly. "Ah, yes. I have had my share of that kind of law benders myself."

"Wufei is with the Preventers." Duo cut in, smiling proudly at his friend. Wufei really had shown all those prissy older agents that he was a force to be reckoned with, climbing the corporate ladderfaster then anyone else in the agency.

The white haired man lit up. "Ah, a fellow law-upholder. Then I hope you understand that this is nothing personal, just standard precautions"

"Yes, of course." Wufei agreed

"Acolleague of mine will guide you through the essential evaluation, but don't worry, it's a pretty simple test. Questions that people in a relationship can answer effortlessly."

"Great." Wufei said without the least trace of sarcasm.

"So, this is where you both live?" the man asked, looking around the neat apartment. From the hallway you could see straight in to the living room with its obvious Chinese décor.

Duo felt panic grow but Wufei answered effortlessly. "No, we decided to wait until after the weeding to move in together. Not that he isn't here most of the time anyway."

"Ah." The man said, scribbling down something in his papers. "Would you mind giving me a tour? Strictly routine of course."

"Of course." Wufei said turning to walk into the apartment, only to pause as he looked at Duo. "Duo, go put the toothbrush away before you smear toothpaste all over the place again." Wufei said easily but his eyes were insisting, flicking towards the living room.

It took Duo a second to catch on. Right, the spare bedroom. "Oh, sorry." He gave Wufei a sheepish smile and hurried away as casually as he could manage.

The bathroom door was still open and he slided in over the tiled floor on his socks. He dropped his toothbrush down next to Wufei's instead of putting it back in the small bag that he stored in Wufei's bathroom. He took a second to place his brush next to Wufei's combs before he hurried his steps towards the spare bedroom.

He could hear Wufei talking to the inspector in the kitchen, clearly trying to leave a clear path for Duo to pas the hallway safely. In two quick steps he crossed it and surveyed 'his' bedroom. He didn't have that many things lying around but the bed was unmade and his latest experiment was spread across a newspaper on the floor. He quickly straightened out the bed and decided to leave the electronics on the floor. He might as well have put them in here so they wouldn't be in the way.

He went back outside again and took a look around the living room, realizing that it actually looked like he was living there without any further adjustments. One of his work shirts, name tag and everything, was hanging over the back of the couch, his black sticker covered laptop was lying next to Wufei's white one on the coffee table. His boots were lying in the hallway and he knew that his backpack was standing on a chair in the kitchen.

The photos that Wufei had on the walls contained the both of them more times then not and it helped a lot that Duo had not been able to keep his hands to himself on a lot of them. If he didn't have an arm around Wufei, he was standing really close or leaning against him.

"God, I'm so fucking obvious." He muttered to himself before moving on to the kitchen.

Wufei was serving the inspector coffee, talking politely about architecture, of all things, like he didn't have a care in the world.

Wufei looked over at him with a welcoming smile as he walked in. "Duo, coffee?"

"Yes please." He said as he nervously sat down at the end of the table.

Wufei filled Duo's chipped black mug before dropping the regular five sugar cubes down in it.

"Thanks." Duo mumbled as he accepted the mug and fingered it nervously.

The older man were giving him a suspicious glance. "When did you meet?" he asked, clearly trying to sound innocent.

Duo decided that he probably should answer the questions that he could answer so that Wufei wouldn't be doing all the talking. "We were both soldiers during the war. We were a part of the same … unit."

"You are both a bit young to have taken part in the war, if you don't mind me saying."

"Well, we joined when we were pretty young and we were chosen because of our age, not to mention our size." Duo explained

The man gave them both a strange look over the rim of his coffee mug. It was a look that all the Gundam pilots were very used to. Being nineteen and a war veteran was not something that a lot of people took seriously or even believed.

Wufei sat down in the chair next to him, giving the inspector on the other side of the table a calm look. "We were a part of a special unit. I'm afraid we can't tell you much more then that. Confidential information." Wufei took a sip of his coffee, ignoring the surprised look his words produced. "If you want I can put you into contact with my superior who can confirm this if needed."

"I'm sure that wont be necessary." Thompson assured them, but Duo could tell that he would most likely do his own research.

Wufei gave the inspector a ironic smile. "I know what you are thinking, it's just a too big coincidence for them to get married right after the deportation decision."

The older man nodded, seemingly relived that the matter at hand was brought up. "It does seam suspicious."

Wufei's hand wrapped itself around Duo's as he spoke. "Well, we were planning on getting married, only that we were going to wait until the both of us turned twenty-one, it's an old tradition from my departed clan."

Duo bit back a snort. He knew very well that there were no such tradition. Especially since Wufei married his wife a hell of a lot earlier then that.

"But when Duo was about to be deported, we decided that it would be better if we moved it."

The old man nodded. "Understandable."

Wufei was about to say something more, but he cut himself off as someone knocked impatiently on the door and he got to his feet. "Excuse me."

Duo missed the warmth of Wufei's hand instantly.

A couple of seconds later, Wufei came back. "I'm afraid I have to leave, duty calls." He shrugged on his preventer jacket. "I'll see you tonight."

Duo very barely managed not to jump in surprise when Wufei bent down and gave him a quick, but sweet kiss.

"Yeah, bye." Duo mumbled quietly as he watched Wufei walk away. Leaving him alone with the inspector.

"Right." Duo swallowed awkwardly. "More coffee?"


Duo might not have been the best cook but he could whip up an eatable omelet if it was needed. So when Wufei returned to the apartment a few minutes after midnight, Duo had dinner waiting for him.

"Bad guys behind bars?" Duo asked as he took the prepared plate out of the microwave.

Wufei snorted as he pulled his hair free, rubbing the back of his head to get rid of the tension. "I wish it was that easy." He lifted Duo's oil stained backpack down from his chair before sitting. "We have a ton of legal work to do but I think we got them."

Duo put the plate down in front of Wufei. "Sounds good, but how did the mission's more practical part go?" He asked as he turned back to prepare his own plate, placing it in the microwave. "You know, the fun part."

Wufei jawed and shrugged his preventer suit jacket off, hanging it over the back of his chair. "Good, the preparations took forever. You know how Heero gets when he thinks there is more facts to find before going in, but in the end we, as you would say, we came, we saw, we kicked ass."

Duo laughed as he got his food out he sat down on the other side of the table. They sat quietly for a while, eating in silence.

Wufei took a sip of his water. "How did it go with the inspector this morning?"

"Good, he didn't really stick around all that long after you left. They want us to be at the immigration office on Friday next week. I figured since you had a mission on Thursday, you would have the day off on Friday."

Wufei nodded, pushing up food on his fork. "Yeah, so did he ask anything else?"

"No, not really. I had to go to work anyway so I kind of cut it short."

"That was probably the best thing to do." Wufei licked his lips. "We should have known this would happen. We should have had a plan."

"We have time until Friday." Duo pointed out.

"Yeah, we should start figuring it out." Wufei put an elbow down on the table and leaned his head against his hand. "So, how did we get together?"

Duo pushed his food in to a pile in the middle of his plate. "I don't know, but can we try to keep it as close to the truth as possible?"

Wufei nodded, thinking for a moment. "How about that we were friends for a long time who went through hell together and the feelings just grew out of that? You should be able to work with that."

That was actually exactly what happened, at least for him. Duo nodded, not daring to say a word. He didn't know when he had fallen in love with Wufei, but it hadn't taken long.

Wufei just had this way of capturing his attention, like Duo was a moth and Wufei was the flame that couldn't be ignored. He loved Wufei but he could ignore his feelings most of the time, not letting it come in the way of their everyday lives. He found out during the war, that if he just spent as much time as he could with Wufei, his heart was satisfied with that. It was just when Wufei went on longer missions or if his work was taking up too much time that Duo found himself frustrated and love sick, inpatient and quick in temper. During those times not even the patient Quatre could stand to be around him until Wufei came back.

It was a good thing that Wufei never had to see him during what Heero referred to as his 'brat tantrums.'

Duo looked over at Wufei who was slumping in his chair, lazily eating the last of his omelet.

"Give it up man, just go to bed."

Wufei shook his head. "I have to write the mission rapport while it's fresh in my mind."

"As tired as you are right now you will most likely forget something. Just go to bed, for gods sake. You can do it tomorrow."

Wufei nodded in defeat. With a yawn, he got to his feet and started picking up the dishes. Duo stopped him, pulling it out of his hands. "I'll take care of it. Just go to bed."

Wufei sighed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Duo whispered softly, as he watched his friend walk out of the kitchen.


Duo couldn't remember being this scared of anything that didn't involve firearms before. The government building felt more intimidating then any Oz base ever had. All around them, expensive suits hastened around themin the spotless environment, totally unconcerned of anything except their own work. Duo felt very out of place in his washed-out jeans and his best (and only) white shirt.

Holding on to Wufei's hand was comforting, and he was grateful that Wufei didn't make a comment about it when he latched on. Especially when he wouldn't let go while they were the only ones in the elevator up to the seventh floor, where the immigration office was located. He didn't even say a word when Duo practically glued himself against his side when the elevator doors opened for them.

They stepped out into a sparsewaiting room. Sickly yellow walls were the first thing Duo saw, reminding him of old mental institutes and interrogation rooms. Sitting on worn plastic chairs all around the room were pale, worried people, flipping through ancient magazines or staring blindly in front of them. There were a couple of cheap, fake plants placed around the room in a pathetic attempt to lighten the environment.

Duo tightened his grip on Wufei's hand, staring down on the gray linoleum floor and the ingrained dirt on it. The feeling of despair was heavy, soaking through the air.

Wufei pulled him along towards the reception desk, a opening in the wall with a glass plateseparating the woman behind it from the people on the outside. He bent down to speak into the small opening in the glass. "Excuse me, we are looking for the marriage validation office. We have an appointment."

The old woman flicked her eyes over the calender in front of her. "Maxwell-Chang?" Wufei nodded. "Down the hall, past the second waiting room, then to the right, in to the last office by the window."

"Thank you."

They walked down the sterile corridor, past what felt like endless rows of office doors, all with small, shiny metal nameplates on them.

The hallway ended in another waiting room, just like the one they had just left. For a second the whole thing felt like a nightmare, like they would keep walking in all eternity, only to arrive back at the same depressing waiting room all over again.

They walked past several nervous looking couples that were holding each other tightly, looking around in fear of what was about to come. If it wasn't for Wufei, Duo didn't think he could have taken another step. He had never experienced fear like this before. Bullets could be dodged, enemies be killed and mobile suits couldbe blown up. But paperwork could be the end of him. These were things he could not understand, rules and regulations that were a part of a strange, confusing world where the pen was mightier then the sword. Duo had never really understood that saying until he had received that bundle of papers that was the only thing that could save him.

Thank God for Wufei.

Wufei, who understood these things, who would guide him through it, who would know what to do about all the strange rules that wanted to throw him back into the gutter that he spent his entire life trying to get out off.

It couldn't happen. He couldn't let some paper pushing nobody make him leave everything he knew and loved. He put all his trust in Wufei, praying that he would save him.

Then, suddenly they were there outside the office, as if the door had appeared in front of them as if by magic.

It was slightly open and Duo leanedto the side so that he could peek into that office. He did not like what he saw, and his fear increased tenfold. He stumbled back, dragging Wufei with him.

"Shit!" He whispered in barely contained panic.

"What?" Wufei questioned, letting Duo push him back against the wall and out of sight from the waiting room down the hall.

Wide-eyed, he gripped Wufei's arm tightly. "The marriage inspector is Quatre's new girlfriend, Meg Pauwels." He hissed, his fingers digging in to his friend's forearm.

Wufei leaned past him to take a quick look into the room. "Really? Isn't that a good thing? Quatre could put in a good word for you." Wufei whispered back, totally unaware of why this was the worst thing that could possibly have happened.

Duo shook his head violently. "Not with this one, she's a cold-hearted bitch."

Wufei shrugged. "Well then, we just stick with the plan then."

"It gets worse."

Wufei sighed. "How?"

"The bitch is also Hilde's best friend. Hilde, as in the girl that I lead on for two years while I was in the closet. Who thought we were going to get married but instead caught me in bed with one of her coworkers. The girl who, together with her friends, hate my guts."

Wufei was quiet for a moment, staring blankly on the wall. "I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this."

Duo nervously tugged his braid, eyes flicking over towards the office door. "So, I wasn't the smoothest coming out of the closet."

"Smooth doesn't even come close, smooth doesn't even exist in the same universe as you." Wufei hissed.

"Shit Wu, are you going to give me grief all day, or are you going to help me?"

"I already told you that I was going to help. You might be a bastard, but you are still a friend."

"Thanks." Duo breathed, unconcerned of the intended insult.

"So come on, lets go inside and get this over with." Wufei took him by the hand and dragged him along into the office.

Duo could tell the exact second that the woman recognized him, by the hatred that flashed in her eyes.

"Ah, Mr. Maxwell. Here to give heart breaking another chance?"

Wufei glared. "Miss Powels." He hissed, purposely mispronouncing her name. "We are here to take part in a test and we expect to be meet with a professional attitude."

The woman gave Wufei a sour look. "Well, don't say I didn't warn you, when you find him in bed wi-"

"Miss Powels." Wufei growled, taking a threatening step forward. "Do I have to call in your superiors?"

She looked at the both of them in distaste. "Very well." She spat, "Sit down and we'll get ready."

She did not wait for them to do so before she went on. "You will each get a number of questions about yourselves that I want you to answer, you will then be given another set of questions about your partner. We will then do an evaluation of your answers."

Duo leaned back in his chair. That wouldn't be too bad. Right?


They were separated and Duo was led into a small windowless room. In the middle was a metal table and a chair where he was motioned to sit. Over by the door, right in front of him, a colleague of the Bitch was seated, watching him intensely.

Duo tapped his foot nervously.

"So... been working here long?"

The woman didn't answer, she simply crossed her legs with a cold stare.

"Oookay." Duo leaned back, drumming nervously on his tights.

He had already answered all the questions about himself that he had been given, most having to do with every day things. He had no idea if Wufei would be able to answer them.

The door opened and the Bitch came in. She slapped a folder down in front of him with a sneer. Without a word she marched back outside, closing the door sharply after herself.

Open the folder, he flipped through the questioner.

He could tell that the questions he had in front of him, were not the exactly the same as he answered earlier. So far it was not going well.

- What kind of books does your partner enjoy?

How was he supposed to know?! They were in Chinese!

Duo took a deep breath, telling himself to focus. If he just concentrated he could figure it out.

Wufei was always reading something, he just had to figure out what. He knew that Wufei used to read poetry during the war, since he had gotten him to read some of it to him during a stay at a safe house. He remembered that Wufei rarely had to read any of the classic books they were assigned during infiltration missions in different schools, since Wufei already read them.

Duo wrote down classic books and poetry, and hoped for the best.

-What are your partner's morning routines?

Duo whimpered. He really had no idea what Wufei did in the morning. Sure, he had spent the night in Wufei's guest room plenty of times but by the time he woke up, Wufei was already done.

'Focus Duo, focus. Your future depends on this.'

He took a deep breath and tried to think. Wufei's feet was always bare in the morning, that could indicate that he did his katas. He never did them wearing shoes or socks.

Sometimes Wufei's hair would be damp, hanging freely to dry.

'Basic katas, eats breakfast, showers,' he wrote.

That would have to be good enough. Next question.

- What kind of shampoo does your partner use?

Shampoo?! Duo had no idea. He just knew that it was something fancy that smelled really good when ever he managed to stand close enough to Wufei to notice it. Duo had borrowed Wufei's shower enough to know how the bottles looked but he never memorized the name of it. Duo felt cold sweat break out over his back. His life was going to be thrown away because he didn't know the name of a hair product?! He couldn't do this, he didn't pay attention to those kind of things. He was too much of a hopeless case that he didn't torture himself by sinking low enough to stalk Wufei. God, this wasn't going to work anyway so he might just answer what he could -the Duo Maxwell way, to hell with all these paper pushing losers. 'Some strange expensive brand that smells really sexy in his hair and I just want to fuck his brain out when ever I smell it.'

Yeah, suck on that on bitch. Duo thought with a small, tight leer.

- What kind of music does your partner enjoy?'

He almost wrote 'anything but my music' because nothing got Wufei in a bad mood as fast as a disc of his music. But he didn't, because this question he could almost answer. He didn't know the names of the artists, but Wufei preferred soft music, that much he knew. Sometimes when he came over, he would be met in the door by harmonic piano music and melancholic females singing about their broken hearts.

'Something soft and sad with pianos and violins.' He paused for a second before continuing. 'But if you want to see something funny, you should get him drunk in a karaoke bar, he will sing anything you put before him, badly.'

Duo snickered, writing down the last part. A drunk Wufei really would do anything... well except him that is. Sad, but true.

Looking down on his paper, Duo realized that he had not answered one single question seriously or with certainty. "Fuck." He muttered, squeezing his pen to the point of breaking. He hopped Wufei had better luck


"So how did it go?" He asked as the elevator doors closed behind them.

Wufei sighed as he pushed the button for the ground floor. "Do you like old western movies?"

"No, I hate them."


"I'll take that as a no."

"I don't think I answered one question correctly."

Duo dropped his head back against the wall. "Me nether. I more or less made fun of all the questions. But you practice your katas in the morning, right?"


"Ha! One point to me." Duo raised his fist in the air in victory.

"Great. So, if we randomly managed to answer enough questions correctly, we just might get away with this."

Duo sighed kicking his heal back against the wood panel."I'm so fucked."

Wufei gave him a sympathetic look. "What are you going to do if this doesn't work?"

"I don't know, L2 is really not a place I want to return to ever again."

"You could go back to being a sweeper." Wufei suggested as the elevator came to a stop, the doors opening soundlessly.

Duo just about shuddered just thinking about it. "No, I don't think I can go back to working in space. Too many bad memories."

Wufei grunted in understanding. They stepped out, walking towards the entrance.

"No, this has to work. If it doesn't... I'll go into hiding."

Wufei gave him a surprised look. "That's a bit extreme." He commented as he sidestepped a scrawny young intern carrying what looked like his body weight in folders.

"I'm not going back there." Duo stated, tightening his fists.

Wufei calmly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let's just see what happens. If it doesn't work, we'll figure out something else."


The day before the results were supposed to be delivered, Duo never went to bed. Instead, he made himself a nest next to Wufei's front door.

Wufei didn't say anything, he just gave him an extra pillow and made him some sandwiches before going to bed.

Early the next morning, Duo became alert at the sound of steps outside the door before a thick letter fell through the mail slot together with a bunch of colorful advertisements. Duo snatched the letter up from the floor and ripped it open.


There was a loud crash before Wufei rushed into the room, eyes wide with his sword held high and ready to shred blood. "What?!" He questioned urgently searching the room for enemies.

"You are never going to be able to believe this, but we made it!" Duo got happier with every word he read. They had passed with flying colors it appeared, not even the Bitch had made any protests.

Wufei blinked in confusion, lowering his sword until it rested against the floor. "Made what?" He asked tiredly as the adrenaline started to wear out.

"We got approved!" Duo cheered, looking over at his friend with a grin. A grin that froze instantly as he took a closer look at Wufei.

"Great." Wufei muttered and with a sleepy glare, he returned in to his bedroom.

Duo simply stared after his friend, letter forgotten. Apparently Duo wasn't the only one who preferred to sleep in the nude.


Duo didn't see Wufei for another hour, then for the first time, he got to observe Wufei's morning rituals.

He was pleased to see that Wufei was just as tired as he was in the morning, stumbling around until he, what seamed like randomly, managed to find all the things he was looking for.

That was until Wufei started doing his katas. Then, he was fully awake and aware. Duo sat down to watch him move, barefoot over the living room's wooden floor, sun patches lying by his feet. It was very peaceful, following those slow, controlled moments with his eyes. He was almost disappointed when Wufei was done with his exercise and started preparing breakfast. But Duo was not one to say no to food, and together they sat down to eat.

"Any plans for today?" Wufei asked as he flipped through yet another report.

Duo shrugged. "Not really, just work. Now that I know that I can stay, I'm just going to relax for a bit, maybe take a few days off work. I owe you one man, I really do."

Wufei nodded, taking a sip from his mug, eyes never leaving the papers in front of him. "You can thank me by making sure that I never have to face any more of your ex's angry friends."

"I'll try. But there are kind of a lot of them. Hilde had many friends."

"And they all hate you?"


Wufei looked up. "How did you get yourself into that mess? You must have known that it wouldn't work."

"I knew, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. Hell, I didn't want to be gay."

"I always figure that you of all people would be a bit more open minded." Wufei mused.

"Yeah, well, imagine that the only parent figures you ever had, hands you a book, telling you that it contains not only the truth and our salvation, but God himself. So you read about this fantastic, almighty God who loves everyone, except you, because you have a crush on one of the other choir boys."

Wufei paused from where he was about to butter a piece of bread, a smile threatening to break out on his face. "You were a choir boy?"

Duo glared. "Yes, I was a fucking choir boy, would you focus?"

"Right, you were horribly traumatized by an old book, and that's why you led her on for two years before you let yourself be seduced by one of your co-workers and got caught red handed."

Duo felt like pouting. "You really have no sympathy at all, do you?"

Wufei gave him a cold look. "It was justice. You should never cheat on your partner, no matter the circumstances."

Duo sighed. "I know, believe me I know. I've been in her shoes, as you know, so I understand perfectly. I should never have agreed to go out with her in the first place but when she asked me, I just didn't know what to say. So I just said yes, because that was what she wanted to hear."

"Because saying, 'No, I am not interested' was out of the question."

"At least I didn't pretend that my wife had a dick on my wedding night." Duo threw back.

Wufei groaned. "God, I am never drinking with you again."

"Think positive, at least you are marrying someone with a real dick this time around."

"Yeah, only that I'm not going to be sleeping with you." Wufei said as he got to his feet.

Duo held his breath, resisting the urge to stand up and scream 'Why not?!'

He wanted to know just what was so bad about him that Wufei couldn't even consider him as a romantic interest. But he didn't ask, because he had a feeling that he was not going to like the answer.

Instead, he tried to steer the subject far away from those thoughts. "So, should we tell the rest of the guys about this or do we just try to keep it quiet?"

"We could probably need some more people in on this, if we get more inspectors after us." Wufei said from behind the open refrigerator door.

Duo pushed his mug back and forth over the table. "We can't tell Quatre the truth, I love the guy, but he will tell his girlfriend no matter what we say."

"I suppose you are right." Wufei closed the door and turned to lean back against the refrigerator. "It doesn't feel right. If we are not telling Quatre, we shouldn't tell the others. It's not honorable to exclude just one of your friends."

Duo absentmindedly nibbled a piece of fiber toast. "You're right, it's one thing to want to keep it between just the two of us, but to hide it from just one of ourfriends..."

"So we agree?"

Duo nodded seriously. "Yes." He looked over at his friend, who was looking blindly out in the air, clearly thinking hard about something. "You do realize that we have to pretend even around our friends, right?"

Wufei scratched his cheek in thought. "I don't believe that there will be much difference from now. None of our friends would expect us to act any differently, even if we are going to have to move in together. But I suppose that wont be much of a problem since you have been freeloading of me for years now."

Duo grinned, pushing another piece of bread into the toaster.

Wufei continued with a small amused smile. "Not to mention that we have lived together before. Granted, it was during the war, but I do believe we could make that adjustment."

"I'll try to contain my mess and you only nag me when you feel you have to."

"Yes, but I have one condition."

"What?" Duo asked, not feeling worried at all.

Wufei pointed at him with a threatening finger. "You are moving in with me, because there is no way I'm moving in to that rat-hole you call home."

"It's not that bad."

"Duo... it is that bad. Believe me."

Duo rolled his eyes. "We are probably going to need help moving. Should we call the guys for that?"

"We might have to worry about what we are going to tell them first, not who is going to be carrying your boxes."

"Right, so one thing at a time then."

Wufei walked back to the table and sat down in his chair. "Yes. So, what story are we going to tell everyone?"

"As much of the truth as we can. "

"Or I'll make something up and you can dance around the truth like you always do." Wufei leaned forward leaning his chin on his hand. "How religious are you by the way?"

Duo shrugged. "Not very now days. Why?"

"I just thought we could use the whole Christianity as an excuse for us to get married before moving in together and all that. There aresuch rules in the Bible, isn't it? I never read the thing."

Duo thought for a second. "Well, there is... kind of anyway."

"So you think we could use it?"

"I guess, that way I don't have to say anything about what I think, just what the religion thinks and people will assume that I feel the same." Duo smiled ironically. "Not to mention that almost no one has actually read the whole thing so you could just make something up."

Wufei nodded. "The problem is how we are going to manage your 'no lying' policy, when it comes to the whole 'do you take this man, to have and to hold.' You are just going to sign a paper but still, it would be a lie."

Duo breathed out slowly. This was it. This was his chance to tell him.

Do it, just do it. Don't think, just tell him. He quietly urged himself.

"I don't have to lie, I love you." There, he said it.

Wufei laughed. "I see. Clever, you also love ice cream and fast cars. You are right, sometimes the most obvious solution is the best."

Duo's shoulders sank as he watched his chuckling friend.



Come on, I know that you are feeling lazy and uncreative but I would really, really appreciate it if you took a second to tell me what you thought about what you just read. Please?

Next chapter will be posted on Friday.