W00t, okay so L is the Mum (and is married to Light), Light is the Dad, Mello is their eldest son and Near is their youngest. (:
Enjoy and review! :D

Warnings: Yaoi! Bad language!
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXEPT THE CRACKNESS IN THIS FIC!

AGES:
Light: 29

L: 28

Matt: 16

Mello: 15/16

Near: 14


Light and his wife stood in Mello's head master's office for the second time in a fortnight. Their eldest son; Mello, had yet again caused trouble and now is in deep shit.

'He probably beat some poor kid up again for mistaking his gender.' Light thought to himself whilst nodding his head, mentally agreeing with his conclusion.

They stood in the middle of the room in silence, waiting for the head to finally speak to them. He was just standing there… staring at a wall. How rude!

Light had had enough of the silent treatment they were being given and cleared his throat to make their presence known to him once more.

The head noticed that the brunette was annoyed with him so he let out a long sigh and began to speak. "I'm sorry for you to come all this way, Mr and… Mrs Yagami."

"Not a problem, Mr Mogi. Now what is it my son has done to cause such a fuss?" L asked in his emotionless voice.

"Well… I think he can tell you that himself." Mr Mogi stated and put his finger on the intercom button and spoke into it; asking a member of staff to inform Mello to go into his office.

After a few more seconds of silence the door slowly began to creek open and an innocent looking Mello peered out.

"Mello, please come in." The head said. Mello did as he was told and slowly walked into the office.

"So, Mello. Care to explain to your parents why you are in trouble this time?"

Mello said nothing and looked at the floor.

"Mello, you best tell us what is going on." His father stated.

Mello snickered at the way he was behaving. Why is he acting like a sissy prissy little girly girl? He is the almighty Mello! Afraid of nothing! Not even death itself!

He looked up to meet his father's eyes and said "Okay, you asked for it… But I think it would be best if Mom wasn't here."

His mother blinked at his son. "Why do you say that Mello? Don't you trust me?"

Mello looked at his ebony haired mother, "Of course I do. It's just that… well fine. Whatever. You can stay if you want." His gaze turned back the floor. "No, Mello. If you don't want me here I'll leave you to tell your father. But remember, he will tell me afterwards." And with that said, L walked out. Leaving him to confess to his dad.

"Well? I'm waiting." Light said in irritation.

"Fine, fine…" Mello trailed off to meet his dad's eyes once more. He had to see the look on his father's face once he confessed.

"The head teacher here saw me getting fucked into the wall." He grinned.

All the colour in Light's face drained. His eyes were as big as dinner plates. And Mello was sure that his dad's jaw was nearly touching the ground.

"W—what?" He asked in the most venomous voice he had ever used with his son.

"I said, the head caught me getting screwed into a wall." Mello repeated.

"WHAT!?" Light screeched at the top of his lungs. Mello flinched at the volume of his father's voice. 'Wow… and I thought mom had a big voice' he thought.

And think of the devil. His mother came running into the office with a worried look on his face. "What's going on in here?"

Mr Mogi cleared his throat to begin to speak on what had just happened, but Light stopped him. "We are going home. Now." He grabbed Mello by the arm and dragged him out the office. "Thank you for informing us, Mr Mogi. I shall see to it that Mello is severely punished." And on that note, he also grabbed his wife and dragged him to the car.


IN THE YAGAMI HOUSEHOLD…


"L honey, please go fetch Near from junior high. I need to have a little chat with our son. Alone." He spoke as he glared at the blonde. Mello noticed his father's icy glare and glared back, sticking his tongue out at him after and looked away.

"Okay Light-kun…" L quietly said and pecked his partner's lips and walked out the house.

Light waited a few minutes to make sure his wife was gone. When he decided L was gone, he spoke in a deadly tone. "Mello, what the hell do you think you're doing!? You're only 15 for God's sake! And in a school!? Is there anything else you want to tell me!? You're a prostitute? You take drugs? You hit your mother behind my back!?"

Mello stared at his father, slightly scared. "Dad, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Don't use such language in my presence!" Light yelled. "Now, who fucked you? Hmm? Tell me now, Mello! I'll cut the bastard's dick off so he won't be able to do it again!" He roared.

"Dad, no! You don't understand! That 'bastard' is my boyfriend!"

Light stared at his son in total shock once more. "Mello, why don't you tell me things anymore?"

"… What the hell…?"


Review, review, review! :D