The Ancients weren't perfect, she'd learnt that very early on in her discovery of them, but Orlin had been a good, good man and she still missed him.
Years had passed; she had Pete, but with every mention of the Ancient race Orlin belonged to, she felt a pang of something painful in her chest. She often physically rubbed the spot when she thought about him. It was silly, stupid, because she'd had this illicit affair with an alien that had lasted all of a few weeks, but had left her grieving like they had been together for years.
She dreamt about him often and was never 100% sure if Orlin himself was influencing her dreams or not. She was pretty sure, but they had never shared a night together in bed, they'd never had physical sex but she knew Orlin was capable, had experience, could imagine the two of them together as well as she could.
As well she often had when he'd been living in her house. She'd spent time daydreaming about him but those had gone when he had. Any attraction had become grief and that strange little tug in her chest she felt when she thought about him.
The dreams she had were amazing, vivid and real and that's what made her believe it was Orlin, in his corporeal state, influencing them. Any dreams, erotic or otherwise, were never as good as her dreams about him. She had had expected them to stop when she started dating Pete, starting sleeping with Pete but they didn't and came whether she was with him or not.
It was a little hard to explain.
In her dreams Orlin was always so gentle, stripping her slowly with a sweet innocent look on his face. He always wore the lost puppy look, even at the height of his arousal. It was heart breaking to experience, even if they were just dreams. The idea that she'd never really experienced it hurt too.
He liked her stomach, liked to spend time on the flat skin there, dipping his tongue into her belly button, his fingers tickling her sides, all to make her giggle and squeal. She didn't do either in reality, but suspected she might if Orlin touched her like that. In some dreams he would rest his head on her stomach as his fingers went lower, dipped between her legs, brought her to an orgasm while he relaxed against her and all she could ever do in these dreams was to lie there and watch as his dark blonde head moved up and down as she gasped and moaned. In reality she knew for sure it
He liked to be on top too, not that he was never adventurous in her dream wouldn't be much different.s, but he liked to be between her legs, thighs wrapped tight around his waist. He liked to move slow within her, draw it out and make her teeter on the edge of something wonderful for long periods of time, moving with him, always trying to hurry him because she anted to come. Needed to.
Being an Ancient had taught him patience; a lot of it, she suspected.
He liked to kiss her when he came, having broken her into little pieces beneath him, he liked to press his lips against her, kiss her hard and let go. Her name was always, always a broken mumble over his lips.
She always woke up worked up; flushed, sweaty, her heart racing. She always woke up feeling like she'd had an orgasm, she could feel the tingle over her skin, the pulse between her thighs, the sting of her eyes. She always woke up wanting to sob his name.
Which also gave her good evidence that the dreams were down to Orlin.
Which also meant it was hard when she woke up next to Pete. She didn't have one night stands, it had never been an issue before she met him, but that first time, waking up after dreaming of an entirely different man...Awkward didn't quite cover it.
She had woken him up, and he'd been staring at her with an odd mix of confusion and arousal. And wonder. It was cute, she had to admit, when she thought about later. When she had more brain function, when she woke up after dreaming about Orlin she usually wasn't able to think about much at all. That first time she had just stared at him, trying to keep her eyes open and her breathing steady. Trying to calm her body down, and ignore that pulse between her legs (that just left her wanting more on occasion).
Her name in Pete's voice was always a shock after hearing Orlin use it. It often jarred her into clearer thinking, brought her back to reality and that first time, she'd needed it.
"Yeah?" The word came out as a gasp, to her dismay.
"What was that? I mean, it looked amazing, but what was it?" he had asked, and that first time, waking up next to Pete was when she discovered she was quite vocal and moved a lot during her dreams about Orlin.
She was glad the alien had the sense never to 'visit' her when she was off-world.
"I was dreaming," she had said, trying to get her legs to move.
"Dreaming about what? Did you have an orgasm, cause it sounded like it."
"I think so."
"You think so?"
"I was asleep," she had snapped but the edge was missing, her voice a little strained. "It happens sometimes."
She hadn't wanted to tell him her initial reaction to that question, to say 'not often enough' and had gone with 'every couple of months' instead. Which had been a lie, but she was hoping that's as often as Pete would experience some of the best dreams of her life. Some of the best orgasms of her life. Something she was definitely going to keep to herself and still did whenever he asked them about them again.
"It's embarrassing, but it happens, sometimes, Janet, says it could be part of a sleep disorder, seeing as I have other sleep related problems."
Another lie, the only sleep problems she had was that she didn't get enough of it because she was a workaholic, but she went along with the embarrassment factor, tried to get his pity, because she could never tell him the full extent of all this. Telling him that an ascended alien being called an Ancient visited her in her dreams and gave her amazing orgasms wasn't something she had even told Janet. Wouldn't be telling Janet. She hoped he'd buy the sleep disorder idea because he was in love with her.
Which she wasn't sure about, but tried not to worry about. She worried about Orlin instead, about him being an Ancient once more; about his continued visits in her dreams.
She worried about actually having a sleep disorder, or some sort of sexual disorder and that it wasn't really Orlin that had this great influence over her dreams.
She really hoped it was. It was what she held onto, when she felt that pull on her chest, when her breath caught from having loved him so much once, still loving him, missing him. Grieving for him.
She had serious problems.
She knew this, had always known it, but Orlin wasn't one of them, or she tried not to let him be one. She just missed him, missed in reality what he gave her in her dreams. Missed the opportunity. For nights he'd slept in the room next to her, wanting her like this, physically, and she'd missed her moment.
He was giving them to her now though, she liked to believe; like it was some sort of forgiveness for missing the moment, or atonement. Or maybe just the Ancient sex drive, though she hoped for something a little less base from it all. From Orlin.
She hoped he never stopped visiting her in her drams, making her come hard, and scream and moan and shake, both in the dreams and in reality.