Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan, and I should really get over it, but it seems I can't.
Summary: At the end of 'Mysterious Ways', Woody finally talks to Jordan. What were they really thinking? I plan to add some more chapters to this story. Life is unbearable when you can't face your demons, and love is really scaring.
A/N: I had posted this as one-shot but now I'm thinking to develop an idea, so, I'm adding some chapters to it. I'm also publishing this in Spanish first, and then, I'm translating it to English. And again, no beta, tell me how I did it!
Warning: This is supposed to be a story of healing and there's no actual healing without real suffering. You just have to touch the bottom, the very low end of life to begin upon new basis. It may content some mature scenes, sexually explicit, but mostly, I want to deal with the obscure side of soul.
Ah! And you can play the 'YES' song in your mind as you read.
Owner of a lonely heart.
Chapter one. They had grown up apart from each other.
Woody stopped her. He wanted to talk about something else. Jordan looked at him, she didn't show any of her feelings, her mask was well adjusted, though her heart still raced due to his proximity. It was going to be hard to get over him.
"Jordan, I'm glad you are OK about, uh… you know… I just wish that you and I… I feel like lately we've grown apart, and I don't like it," he said, his words didn't seem to come easily.
"I don't think its so much we've grown apart, it's just… I don't know how to say this," she replied. She was somehow worried that he would find out that she wasn't fine. The way things had developed wasn't how she expected them to go. She had finally resolved that she wanted Woody in her life, she had turned JD down. Even though she had been distracted watching Kayla, she also had been waiting for him to be ready. Just to discover that he had moved on, with Lu.
That was fine. She would survive. She had always been able to survive.
"One word at a time." Woody suggested.
"I just think we're a little out of sync right now. Over the last year I've grown up a lot," she said. Even if she didn't believe it completely, it was true. She wasn't the same. She was still afraid to let someone get intimate, but she was now willing to give it a try. She wanted to live. She wanted to love someone.
JD had opened that door for her. She had really cared about him. Kayla was more of the same, her craving for something more than a lonely heart, being able to take care of somebody. She knew now that love was unselfish. She could love somebody, and that was the answer itself, giving love was the prize. She didn't need somebody to love her in response.
"And I haven't?" Woody asked her.
OK, that was too much to ask. She wasn't that altruistic. She needed to get away immediately. He was the only one she needed to love her in response, and he had turned her down.
Jordan moved to walk rapidly, hiding from him, but conserving her poised façade anyway. Her sad eyes reflected her state of heart.
Woody observed her walk away, she didn't answer him. What was implied? That he hadn't grown up?
Who was he trying to fool? He loved Jordan!
But she had moved on. She hadn't been troubled with him and Lu, so his answer was right there. She didn't love him, she loved the Aussie. She had grown up apart from him.
He watched her disappear down the hallway, as he sensed his hope was vanishing with her. His life would become really empty without that unbearable woman. However, he needed to survive. He could stand on Lu. She could help him to recover from his wreck.
But, Oh Lord!
How he missed Jordan already!