I Hate You More Than Anyone
Chapter One


Tohru Honda was humming a mindless tune as she walked (nay, skipped) around the kitchen. The pigtail'd girl was dressed most conventionally; a plain dress, red check apron and ribbon-adorned hair. She looked cute as always, and was a delightful addition to the Sohma household, especially when the other members were lazy, messy, argumentative boys (or a man, in Shigure's case. Although according to Yuki and Kyo, he was the worst of them all, and perverted to boot).

The aforementioned 'friendly neighbourhood pervert', a.k.a. Shigure Sohma, was watching his 'delicate flower', a.k.a. Tohru Honda, potter around the kitchen with mild interest.

"I wonder what to make for dinner," Tohru muttered to herself, opening the fridge, taking out ingredients, placing pots and pans on the countertop. She was the only one in the house who knew where those pots and pans lived – none of the others had a clue.


Tohru Honda looked so happy it was almost criminal, what with her shining eyes and bright smile, as though she were on top of the world, at the pinnacle of happiness, so cheerful it made Shigure's mouth ache just looking at her.

If he hadn't known better, he would have said little Tohru had just received a lover letter off a very cute boy, or else had found ten thousand yen on the floor. However, that was not the case. Tohru was happily oblivious when it came to boys, and would have handed ten thousand yen straight into the police. No joke. Her kindness was on par with stupidity.

Nothing amazing had happened to Tohru Honda that day, far from it.

Truth was, she always looked that happy.


Like one of those dolls with the fixed faces.

"Tohru-kun," said Shigure, folding his newspaper. He hadn't even read any of it. His eyes had been fixed on Tohru's back (which also seemed to exude joy to the world, good tidings to men, etc, etc). Not that she had noticed. "Whatever put you in such a cheerful mood? It's only cooking."

Not making out with Kyo, Shigure silently added, grinning a little at the thought.

"E-Eh?" Tohru stuttered, caught completely off guard. She began to smooth down her apron, looking at her feet, and muttered uncertainly, "I… I don't know. I g-guess cooking is fun, like… Um… Like an adventure!"

"An adventure?"

"Yes, exactly!" Tohru beamed, nodding. "It may sound a little silly, but I find it very enjoyable, mixing old recipes, creating new ones… You don't know exactly what the end result will be, and sometimes things don't go according to plan, so you worry – but when people say 'I like this!' and ask for seconds, it makes you feel warm and happy inside. It's like you've accomplished something really great, reached your destination, done what you wanted to do. I like it a lot."

"Ah…" Shigure nodded, amused by the girl's heartfelt explanation. It was quite endearing, really, seeing her grow bolder and more animated as the monologue developed. He couldn't resist the thought of teasing her, though.

Just a little.

With a devilish smirk, Shigure leant forwards and said, in a confidential sort of manner, "So your good mood doesn't have anything to do with a boy, then?"

Tohru blinked, bewildered. "…A boy?"

"Well, Tohru-kun, you have been spending a lot of time with Kyo-kun lately. Ahhh," the novelist sighed dramatically, "they grow up so young nowadays! So innocent and carefree, lost to a naïve love affair on a summer's day. Hmn, that sounds like an excellent idea for a book…"

Tohru, meanwhile, had grown red, realising the other's implications. It was so obvious, he may well have hit her over the head with a rolling pin.

"N-No!" she said defensively, face heating up – flashing red like a traffic light. Cute. "I-I haven't been d-doing a-a-anything with K-Kyo-kun, we're j-just good friends!"

"Hmn," Shigure mused, resting his chin between his thumb and fingers. "Are you quite sure, Tohru-kun? Kyo-kun keeps staring at you in a most intense way, one would think you were a coup-"

"Gyūdon!" exclaimed Tohru, clattering pots and pans loudly. "Let's have gyūdon! I think we have enough ingredients…"

Shigure continued to smirk, watching the highly entertaining spectacle that was Tohru, flustered and embarrassed, handling the utensils with more force than was necessary.

Her face was beet red.

How precious!

It was then, as Shigure watched the demented Tohru, that he got an idea – an idea so amazing it deserved to be bolded, underlined, capital'd, the lot; an Almighty 'Idea'.

He was going to pinpoint Tohru's weakness, and see whether he could awaken her dormant angry side. Surely she had one, she just hid it rather well, and seeing it emerge would be a rare opportunity, like a solar eclipse or Shigure actually managing to hand a manuscript in on time.

Besides, toying with Kyo, Yuki and his suicidal editor got boring pretty fast. Kyo was a little too easy to wind up, Yuki generally remained cold and dismissive, and Miichan was insane. Going too far with her could only result in blood and tears – and, well, blood was a nightmare to wash out of clothes.

So then…

"Um, where's the onion? Where is it? I can't find it – oh dear! In here, maybe…? Oh no, I'm so stupid, I need to make dinner-"

Tohru Honda it was, then.

This was going to be a fun project.

a.n: Gyūdon is rice topped w/ beef & onion, usually served w/ shirataki noodles~

this is going to be a very short fanficlet thing, basically about shigure trying to annoy tohru and make her angry. because tohru is /too/ mild-mannered & polite. & btw, it will be /short/ xDD maybe w/ some kyo/tohru thrown in, but nothing serious. la, la~
reviews, plz?