The Beginnings Repisotory, Naruto Flavour

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So, here's the deal. This story account's going to hold stories I don't intend to continue. General story ideas, first chapters that I write but don't see how I can continue, etcetera. Anyone who feels the urge can continue the stories without pestering me for permission, just PM me so I can add your continuation to my favourites.

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Facts Rearranged, Perceptions Skewed

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Well, that is a very big Chidori, Kakashi mused to himself.

The rest of Hawk were battling Team Gai and Team Seven on the outskirts of the newly rebuilt Konoha. Sasuke was facing off against his old teacher, a vicious snarl on his face. He was not a happy camper. Kakashi mused to himself that it would be unfortunate if he had to use Kamui on his former student, but... It would probably be better than being hit by that thing.

"I'm been waiting for this, Kakashi," Sasuke growled, crouching low and digging his sparking left hand into the ground, then bolting forward with frightening speed. His growth was astonishing, but Kakashi knew he was better. He knew he had to choose between himself and his protoge, and unfortunately he knew which choice his duty demanded.

"Sorry Sasuke," Kakashi muttered, "It's your loss this time."

Kamui roared and space began to distort around the last living Uchiha.

"Sasuke!" Naruto roared, plunging down into the Kamui with a Rasengan, completely ignoring the beginning of his jounin sensei's technique. The Rasengan and Chidori clashed, and Kakashi felt Kamui react to the intense amounts of chakra both teenagers were employing. A moment later, a small pop announced the disappearance of blond and raven-haired youths.

"Well, this is going to be interesting to explain to Tsunade-sama," Kakashi remarked dryly.

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Naruto awoke slowly, feeling damp grass underneath himself. A soft groan nearby stirred him, and he slowly opened his eyes. Memory returned in a rush. Sasuke and Hawk. Battling them practically at the gates of Konoha, just far enough way that they couldn't call for aid. His hastily conjured Rasengan clashing with Sasuke's Chidori, then a wierd vibration...

His head snapped to the groaning young man laying at his side.

"Ha! That'll teach you, Sasuke!" Naruto growled, slowly sitting up. Black eyes shot open and glared at the blond youth and the former leaf-nin pushed himself to his hands and knees. "Now that I've defeated you, you're coming back to Konoha with me!"

"You didn't defeat me, loser," Sasuke spat, pushing himself up right and then staggering to his feet just as Naruto regained his own footing. He then took a look around. "Where the hell are we? What did Kakashi do?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked, finally taking a look around himself. He noticed the lack of ruined ground and destroyed trees. Almost like the place they were hadn't been the site of a major ninja battle. "Hey, where's Kakashi-sensei?"

"I think we've got bigger problems, Naruto," Sasuke growled, his eyes focusing on something in the distance. Naruto followed his gaze and saw the Hokage mountain face... The sight of it alone was strange: It'd been demolished in the course of his battle with Nagato, he'd thought. He turned his gaze back to Sasuke. "You don't see it, do you? Moron! Look at it again!"

Naruto did, and his eyes widened. Something was incredibly wrong. The faces weren't right. Oh, the first, second, and third Hokage's faces looked fine. They were in their correct places. The fourth face was not, however, Minato Namikaze. No, the fourth face looked entirely different. It was familiar, but Naruto couldn't picture how.

"Why the hell does it look like Orochimaru was the Fourth Hokage, Naruto?" Sasuke snorted, crossing his arms. He squinted, his slightly-blurred vision making the identification of the last face more difficult. His jaw dropped. "And when the hell did Anko become the Fifth?"

"She's not," Naruto choked, his mind reeling.

"Look, let's just call things a draw for now," the Uchiha heir said uncomfortably, shifting a bit as he turned to walk down the road. "I don't know what the hell Kakashi did to us, but we'd better figure this out as soon as we can."

"Uh, I think he used his Mangekyo Sharingan on you," Naruto said, scratching his head. He started to walk with his former friend down the road towards Konoha's gates. "If I remember correctly, it was some sort of Space/Time Jutsu."

"You mean I'm trapped in some wierd dimension with you because of that bastard?" Sasuke groaned. He paused, staring at Naruto.

"It looks that way," Naruto muttered. Then he grinned. "Hey, look on the bright side! Maybe we can learn some cool jutsu here before we get this Kakashi to send us back! That'll be cool, right?"

"How can you be so optimistic?" Sasuke groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He glared at his rival. "Don't you get it? This Kakashi might not know the Mangekyo. Hell, we don't even know if we can get back!"

"Ah, you worry too much, Sasuke!" Naruto said, slinging his arm around Sasuke's with a companionable grin. "Don't worry about the little things!"

"I would not count being stranded in some fucked-up dimension as a little thing, Naruto," Sasuke growled, glaring at the young man invading his personal space. The bright-eyed blond ignored it.

It didn't take them long to reach Konoha's gates.

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"I can't believe it! He brought the traitor back!" Sasuke looked up at the shout, and noticed Izumo standing at the gates. He waved at the duo. "Good work, Sasuke!"

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" Naruto asked, jaw dropping and eyes widening. He pointed his right index finger squarely at his chest, gaping at the chunin now advancing towards them. "What are you talking about, traitor? I'm not a traitor!"

"Shut up," Izumo said, before grinning at Sasuke. "How did you capture him, Sasuke?"

For one brief moment, he considered playing along... but only briefly. Realistically, the chances of passing off as some bizarro-version of himself which actually wanted to go out and save Naruto of all people was slim to none... and that might burn through whatever trust this wierd dimension might give the pair.

Besides, trying to act happy and shit would just be too damned annoying.

"Listen, there's been some sort of mistake, here," Sasuke said, frowning at the chunin... Who was now eyeing both boys with suspicion. The older man prodded Sasuke's face.

"Where the hell are your whiskers, Sasuke?" Izumo finally asked. He then turned, horrified, to Naruto. His eyes went directly to the blond's cheeks. "Oh dear sweet spirits, you gave the Kyubi to this monster?"

"I've had the Kyubi all my life, jerk!" Naruto grumbled, causing Izumo to take a step back. With a sigh, Sasuke nodded in agreement with his rival.

"Look, take us to see Anko. We've got some explaining to do, and so does she. In case it wasn't obvious, something is incredibly wrong here," Sasuke told the man, who finally nodded. He went to the gatehouse, grabbing a pair of hooded cloaks.

"Where these. We don't want to start a panic," Izumo told them. Both boys donned the cloaks before being led into the village.

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"No way. I don't believe it," Naruto gasped. At his side, Sasuke's head jerked up to take a look around. Naruto sighed, meeting his friend's eyes. "I guess things really are different, here. I didn't want to believe it, but you're right, Sasuke. This place is scary."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke demanded quietly, his gaze wandering all over the streets. It could have been the Konoha he was raised in.

"Look. Look at that. If nothing else, that tells the whole story of this place," Naruto said sadly, pointing at a familiar stall. "That tells me that this place is scary. I knew it probably would be with Anko-sensei as Hokage, but that confirms it."

"What?" Sasuke followed the blond's finger. The Ichikaru stall stood proudly where it always had. There was nothing strange about it whatsoever. "What the hell are you talking about, drop out?"

"Ichikaru," Naruto said sadly. Eyes filled with pain met Sasuke's. "Take another look, Sasuke. That stall says Ichikaru Sushi. It's... It's too sad."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. He wanted to laugh at the idiot and scream in frustration. Only the need to keep a low profile prevented him from combining the two.

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Anko looked up from her paperwork, and frowned as Izumo escorted two cloaked figures into her office. The Hokage pushed the paperwork aside and glared at the man, who just sighed and gestured. Both figures removed their cloaks at the same time, dramatically flinging them to off.

The first to catch her attention was Sasuke. The Uchiha was wearing some messed up clothes, a white dogi-like shirt with volumnous black pants that looked entirely out of place on him. More out of place was the fierce scowl he directed her way, entirely at odds with the usual broad smile the Uchiha wore. Especially jarring was the lack of whiskers on his cheeks.

Then the black-haired idiot faded from her perception entirely as the other figure's cloak fluttered down, slowly revealing his identity. Naruto Uzumaki grinned at her, normally dead blue eyes shining brightly over a broader grin than she ever thought he'd be wearing. He proudly wore an scratch-free konoha forehead protector, jarringly enough. The cloak fluttered down some more, revealing a bright orange outfit entirely at odds with his usual Toad-hermit clothing.

What really drew her eyes and caused her jaw to drop were the whisker marks. Naruto Uzumaki was the container of the nine-tailed fox.

"Sasuke, you'd better have a good explanation for this," Anko told her apprentice.

"Not really," Sasuke said with a smirk.

"I can explain, Anko-sensei!" Naruto offered cheerfully, causing the Godaime to blink. She sat down. "Kakashi-sensei accidently hit me and Sasuke with his Mangekyo Sharingan while we were fighting, and then we woke up here!"

"That's impossible," Anko informed them, hands raising to rub her temples. She met their confused looks with a grimace. "My husband doesn't even possess the Sharingan. That's all his friend Obito."

Both boys turned to each other at the same time, horrified looks on their faces.

"Crap," they said in stereo.

"I think you two had better start from the beginning," Anko said, pointing at the dark-haired youth to the left. "You first."

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"...so then I tried to hit this bastard Sasuke with my Rasengan and we woke up outside the gates," Naruto finished, shifting nervously. Anko was staring, wide-eyed at the pair of them. The blond shrugged at Sasuke, who shrugged back. "Oi, Anko-sensei! Are you alright?"

"No. No I am not," Anko muttered, rubbing her temples once more while closing her eyes. She snapped them open once more, glaring at the pair. "That is the most ridiculous story I've ever heard! Minato never passed on the Rasengan, and I sure as hell know Kakashi didn't teach Raikiri to anyone!"

"Yours didn't. Ours did," Sasuke snorted, rolling his eyes at the outraged look on her face. He grinned ferally at Naruto. "Let's do it, dropout!"

"Okay!" Naruto agreed. Both boys concentrated briefly.

"Rasengan!" Naruto yelled, a whirling sphere of chakra appearing in his outstretched hand.

"Chidori!" Sasuke roared a half-second later, flashes of lighting streaming from his downward pointed hand to shatter the tiles of the office floor.

Both boys grinned at the way Anko's jaw dropped.

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto said slyly, grinning smugly at his rival. "I bet my Rasengan is still stronger than your Chidori."

"You wish, idiot," Sasuke growled. He lifted his hand a bit, the chirping increasing in intensity.

"Wait..." Anko said, realization slowly dawning on her face.

"Well, if you're scared..." Naruto said, shrugging.

"Don't you dare...." Anko threatened, her voice rising. Both boys ignored her completely.

"I'll show you!" Sasuke roared, his hand plunging towards Naruto.

"No no no!" Anko yelled, moving to intercept the duo far too late.

Chidori met Rasengan with a room-shaking boom, blasting both boys through opposide walls of the room.

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"Hokage-sama!" Six ANBU immediately appeared in her office, and Anko twitched at the destruction. Paper work lay shredded and scattered, mortar dust liberally billowing out the two new holes in her office.

"Two of you that way," Anko growled, pointing towards the hole Sasuke had just made. Her finger then twitched to the other one. "Two of you that way. Bring them both to me. Now."

They disappeared, and Anko sat down heavily. Some days it didn't pay to be in charge.

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Author's Notes:

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what inspired this. It's partly a deconstruction of the generic Alternate Universe fanfics out there. I figured by taking Naruto and Sasuke into the AU and having them blunder through everything it'd be good for some laughs. It's just going to be serious to begin with because I'm trying to keep Naruto and Sasuke in character.

Speaking of which I'm including Sasuke mainly because I like the character, despite what Always One Step Ahead may have presented. I do terrible things to the characters I like, unfortunately.

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Notes:

I don't know what inspired me to actually post this, but... I really don't like it, in retrospect. *shrug* I've been meaning to post a Beginnings Repository for some Naruto stories anyway.