The Latin Series: Ira by AndromedaMarine


Spock, with the human half of his heritage, blames his mother. He blames her for being a homo sapien. He blames her for giving him the ability to feel emotion. He blames her for giving him a choice. Spock, with the Vulcan half of his heritage, blames his father. He blames Sarek for marrying Amanda Grayson. He blames his father for urging him to stay on Vulcan. To not join Starfleet. And the half-human, half-Vulcan son of Sarek and Amanda knows it's foolish to think all these things, though each one whizzes across the front of his mind while he attempts to strangle Jim Kirk on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Sarek watches solemnly as his son lets out a yell of anger – a human emotion – and lunges himself at the Acting First Officer.

As soon as Spock punches Kirk, he knows there is no hope of him re-taking command of the Enterprise. As soon as his fist lands on Jim's body, Spock knows he is emotionally compromised. He knows he let the anger get to him – he let the anger take over. He succumbed to a human emotion. And Spock, the member of an endangered species, doesn't know what to do with himself now that he's lost command of the pride and glory of Starfleet.

"Spock," Sarek says firmly, and the young Vulcan releases his hand from Jim's reddened neck. He's breathing heavily, his shoulders heaving up and down with each intake of breath.

"I am...emotionally...compromised," Spock forces each word into the air with the anger still coursing through him, but he knows the anger will not last. No emotion lasts forever (it would not be logical if any did), he reasons. The Vulcan sweeps the bridge with one gaze, taking into account each open-mouthed stare the crewmembers are giving him. His eyes linger longer than necessary on Lieutenant Uhura, and as their eyes connect he is shamed. He has not acted like what he is. A Vulcan.

Bones glares at Kirk, blaming the arrogant man for taking away the last high-ranking officer capable of commanding the star ship home.

Spock is angry with himself for letting Kirk's taunts drive him over the edge. Bones is angry with Kirk for provoking Spock. And Kirk...Kirk lets his anger for the Vulcan disappear, because he knows it was necessary to gain control of the Enterprise. It was necessary to pave the road of their friendship, like Spock Prime remembers it.

As Spock enters the lift, his eyes are fixed on the floor, his human half hoping Uhura will join him, and the Vulcan half hoping with all logic and reason that she will not. The door slides shut without allowing the lieutenant entrance. He closes his eyes and sees himself raising a hand to strike the man who cheated on his test, the man who smuggled his way onto the Enterprise. He sees himself striking James T. Kirk. He lifted his fist in anger.

Half-human or not, Spock can't find a logical answer to why he let the anger get control. Spock is shamed. To look Vulcan and act human is, in his reasoning, unacceptable.

He lost the Enterprise because of his humanity.

Spock lost control because of anger.