I stood from my position on the ground and, watched as Jasper slowly turned around. His beautiful gold eyes that just a few moments Ago were seething, were now wide with shock. "Alice knows?" he asked with a breathless whisper. I slowly nodded my head as I Reached down to find what was left of my torn clothes.
"You fucking told Alice?" he screamed with seething eyes once again. I held my clothes in front of my naked body as I backed up three Steps. "No...I...I didn't tell Alice, she sent me a text after you left." His frame relaxed slightly as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "She told you to come after me? Does that mean everyone else knows?" I shook my head and took a step closer. "No, she only said to get to you before you got too far and that Bella didn't know."
Jasper closed his eyes and shook his head as if he couldn't believe the situation we had gotten ourselves into. "I'm so sorry Edward, I never should have started this..." he trailed off and turned so his back was facing me. Jasper, we have to talk about this. We have to make a choice" I slowly walked so I was standing right behind him. "I love Bella" I said putting my hand lightly on his shoulder. "But, I love you too. We can t continue like this, it s unfair both of them."
Jasper turned and pulled me into a hug, burying his face in my neck. "I love you" he said against my skin. "Come on, let s go home" I said taking his hand leading him toward the house. When we got home I quickly took a shower and put on clean clothes, and joined Jasper in the living room. We held hands on the couch for a long time just staring into the fireplace. Finally Jasper broke the silence. "What are we going to do Edward?" I took a deep breath squeezed his hand tighter. "I think the only choice we have is to tell Alice and Bella how we feel, and hope they don t kill us for it."
Truthfully I had more to lose then Jasper, we both had wife s of course but I had a daughter to think about. I fought so hard for so long to keep Bella in my life. She gave up her humanity for me; She gave me a beautiful daughter and most of all unconditional love. I needed her so much. I thought about the love that she once professed for Jacob and almost snorted out a laugh. I was so smug then, knowing that she did and always would choose me over him. I knew she loved him and she probably always would even now that she is a vampire. I cringed at the laugh Jacob would get out of this situation.
Nessie. I found myself in love with two completely different people. Two that were so equally loving and prominate in my life. If Nessie hadn't been born I would say my love would be 50-50 Jasper and Bella, but she was born. She was my miracle child, born to the two people who rightfully never should have met or fell in love. She is so pure and innocent and beautiful that it hurts me deep inside to think of anything hurting her. As much as it hurt me to think about it, my choice had been made.
How did my life get this completely and utterly out of control? All the cliche stories you hear of vampires livening and only lusting for blood, nobody ever tells the messy stories. I am a Vampire, but underneath it all I am still a man. I have human needs and feelings, I am able to love and laugh and be happy. When I met Alice all those years ago, I was so lost, and...I don't know if unhappy is the right word for it, but I needed someone to love me and tell me that life didn't have to be so hard. She took my hand and gave me here love unconditionally. She made me see that I didn't have to be ashamed of who I was.
Now I find myself sitting here, holding the hand of this beautiful man who has come to mean more to me then I even would have guessed. I think what first drew me to Edward was the pure innocent way he lived his life. He lived for so long unhappy, until he met Bella. I watched everyday as he fell deeper in love with her. Slowly he began to smile and I knew she was the one. She was the one who was sent to make him happy and show him the love that Alice had shown me every day. Then there is Nessie.
Nessie was a surprise to all of us. Most of us thought she was a danger and needed to be destroyed as she grew bigger and started to break Bella's fragile human bones. When she was born and started to grow, nobody could question that she was special. If possible she brought this whole family closer together, especially Bella and Edward. I knew they would both die before they would let anything hurt her.
When I really thought about it, the choice had already been made. I loved Alice and Edward loved his family, but that didn't mean we didn't love each other. What Edward and I had was special; we both felt it and experienced it.
I looked down to our joined hands and smiled, I could feel the lump rise in my throat. I looked up into his eyes that told me if it were possible they would be crying. Without speaking we both knew it was over with a trembling bottom lip Edward nodded his head slowly. My breath hitched as I leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you" I whispered with my eyes closed and my forehand leaned against his. Edward's hand came up to cup my cheek. "I love you too" he whispered. I leaned in for one more soft kiss, before I took his hand from my face and kissed his palm. Without looking in his eyes I stood, his hand slipped from mine as I turned and slowly walked away.
Edward didn't fallow me this time. I opened the door to mine and Alice's room and went inside closing the door. I leaned my back against the door and listened as Edward softly sobbed. I slid to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees, as I to started to sob quietly.
The rest of the weekend we hunted separately. When we weren't hunting Edward stayed in his cabin and I stayed at the main house. We didn't speak, we needed time to accept and come to terms with what had happened. We loved each other but we had chosen not to tear our families apart. I didn't know if he would ever tell Bella what happened, but I knew once Alice came home we would have to have a long talk. I hoped that my marriage could survive my betrayal.
Monday morning I was sitting in the living room reading. I knew the family was due back today and wondered if Edward would come to the main house to greet them. "Yes" I heard a voice speak as the back door to the house opened. I put down my book and stood looking in his eyes. The mood was uncomfortable and I wasn't sure what I should say. "You don't need to say anything." Edward responded to my thoughts. I smiled and nodded my head. "They are about to turn into the drive way." I nodded again and started to turn for the door. "She already forgives you" Edward said quietly as he turned and walked to the door.
I stood next to the fireplace and listened as Edward was greeted with kisses and hugs from his family. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. Emmett and Rosalie greeted him next, laughing about the amount of shopping Alice had forced upon Bella and Nessie. I could hear Carlisle and Esme softly chuckling watching all their kids rehashing the exciting weekend. I couldn't bring myself to join them, I was ashamed. I could so easily have torn all that happiness away. I didn't deserve to be included in all the happiness. Suddenly I felt something soft against my cheek.
I opened my eyes to see Alice standing in front of me. I expected to be met with anger or looks of betrayal, but her eyes were filled with love. "Come with me Jazz" she said softly and took my hand leading me out the back door and into the woods. When we got a few miles away she stopped and turned pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back tightly; I just wanted to hold her until I could make all the sadness go away. "Jazz, I love you" She said softly. "Can you ever forgive me?" I asked against the top of her head. She shook her head and pulled away.
"Jasper, I know you love me. It hurt me at first to see what was going on, but I know what happened was more than about sex. You have feelings for him." I nodded my head slowly. "Jazz, I knew that he wouldn't leave Bella, I also knew that in some way you needed the companionship from Edward that I have failed to give you." She stepped closer and took both my hands. "I think it would be a good idea if we left for a while. We need to be alone together and reconnect."
I knew Alice wasn't suggesting we leave the family because she was angry. Alice knew I was hurting and that it was hard to be around Edward. I also knew that we wouldn't stay away for long, because Nessie needed her aunt Alice to help to keep her over bearing parents at bay. I smiled and leaned down to kiss her lips softly. "I think that is a great idea" Alice gave me a loving smile and wrapped her tiny arms around my torso.
When Alice and I got back to the house we told the family that we were going to be leaving for a while. Everyone was confused as to why we were leaving, except for Edward who bowed his head and hugged Bella a little tighter. We told the family that we needed some alone time as a couple and we would come back as soon as we could, without giving a specific time frame.
The rest of the night was spent with the whole family together. Alice made Bella and Nessie model all the clothes she bought for them because, we were going to be gone and she wouldn't get to see them wear them. Edward and I would catch each others eyes once in a while as the family laughed and joked and just spent out last night together. We didn't need to say it aloud, but this was our goodbye. It was going to take me a while to get over what Edward and I shared, but when I watched Nessie with her parents I had to smile.
The next morning Alice hugged everyone goodbye, even Edward. After I got all our belongings into the new car Alice had purchased that very morning to accommodate everything, I stepped back into the house to tell everyone goodbye. Edward was the last and he simply shook my hand and told us to come back soon. I nodded and smiled and then turned to leave. "Wait...Uncle Jasper" I heard Nessie call after me. I turned just in time for her to throw her arms around my neck and hug me tightly. Nessie and I were like best friends. We would hunt together and have long talks about Jacob or her parents. She was the sweetest person I had ever met. I was going to miss her. I wasn't sure if we would be gone for weeks, or months or maybe even a year. "I'm going to miss you uncle Jasper" Nessie said to me when I set her back on her feet. I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I'm going to miss you to sweetheart, behave yourself and if you ever need to talk you have my cell phone number ok?" She nodded her head sadly. I winked and gave her a smile. "Bye, darl'n I met Edward's sad eyes one last time before I turned and fallowed Alice to the car.
I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I held Bella tighter to keep myself from running after him. I'm sure she just thought I was sad, but it was much more than that. The next few months were the hardest. Esme would cry in her room at night at the loss of two of her children. Nessie walked around with tears in her eyes a lot, she missed her crazy aunt Alice and her uncle Jasper, who was the one she went to when she needed advise. Emmett didn't say anything but his thoughts told me he was bummed out at the loss of his brother and wrestling partner. He didn't touch his X box for almost a month after Jasper left. Nobody suspected a thing, and just like Rosalie and Emmett had done a few times, everyone assumed they just wanted to live separate lives away from the family for a while.
I tried to be strong for my family. I loved Bella so much and even though Nessie didn't know it, she saved our family. She made me realize that even though I loved Jasper as much as I did, that I had a duty to keep my family safe and happy. It still hurt a lot to think about Jasper and I would hunt alone sometimes so I could break down or just sit alone for hours thinking about him. I hoped that Alice could fill that piece of his heart that wanted to be in my arms. I still longed to be in his arms sometimes and when I start to get sad I go to Bella and hold her tightly for a few hours. She doesn't say a word; she just assumes that I miss my brother and sister.
I told myself that someday after Alice and Jasper had returned to the family, and a few decades have passed that I would tell Bella what happened. It wasn't fair for Jasper to be the only one who had to deal with our betrayal. It would probably take me that long to convince myself I made the right choice, when I chose my family over Jasper. My body wanted him and a large part of my heart wanted him to.
End Note: This is the end. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.