Characters obviously don't belong to me. They belong to Capcom. Thank you Capcom for making these flagrantly gay darlings. 3
This is kind of a... pseudo-sequel to my last fanfiction "When I think about you". Well, it fits in that same "universe". It doesn't matter if you have read that one or not.
Some Apollo Justice spoilers, but for the love of god, you should've finished it by now.
Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth woke up in a rather odd situation, not entirely sure how they got there. They were curled up in a heap against a hotel room door. Phoenix was wearing a very snappy black and white suit. And Miles was wearing a wedding gown.
Three days earlier
The two had been dating each other for several months. Again. This time, however, Miles felt no urge to run off to Europe on his own for almost a decade. However, he did still want a holiday, although, a shorter, closer one with Phoenix.
At Miles' house, the couple were hanging around the pool. Phoenix was splashing around and Miles was stood at the side trying to get his attention.
"Phoenix! Phoenix!!!" he shouted, "Penis!"
Phoenix's head suddenly emerged from the water.
"What?" he smiled, looking smug.
"I was wondering," he sighed, "Would there be anyone Trucy could stay with over the weekend?"
"Why? We having one of those forty eight hour tantric sex things?" he smirked. Playing stupid had become one of his favourite games lately.
"Shut up, Wright!"
"Fine," he shrugged, submerging again.
"Come back, you imbecile!"
He re-emerged, grinning inanely.
"Again, Wright. Trucy. Is there anyone she can stay with for a weekend or so?"
Phoenix responded with that 'Am I thinking or ignoring you? You work it out' face.
"Well?" Miles growled.
"I could tell her who her mom is and get her to stay with her?"
Miles could only stare and open his mouth blankly.
"Okay, maybe that's for another day?"
"I'd say so!" he barked.
"Well..." he sighed, "In all seriousness, I don't think Polly and Klavier would mind. She invites herself over there all the time anyway. Anyway... why?"
"Well, we've got a long weekend free so I thought..." he gulped, "Well, I thought we could go on a little vacation together."
"Whoah! Disney land?" Phoenix gasped excitedly.
"What? No, you bloody fool!" he tutted, "Somewhere a little more adult!"
"Adult, eh?" he winked, climbing out of the pool and slapping Miles' ass playfully.
"You know what I mean!" he snapped, blushing, "I was thinking about a road trip to Las Vegas."
Phoenix burst out laughing.
"What?!?! Phoenix, are you actually mentally retarded?"
"Sorry!" he chuckled, "Just Las Vegas and road trips are probably the last things I could imagine you wanting to do."
"I do you, don't I?" he growled.
Thirteen hours and forty five minutes earlier
Dressed in a plain linen suit, Edgeworth drove to pick up the Wrights.
He knocked on their door.
No one came.
He sighed and unlocked the flimsy apartment door with a credit card. This was something he was getting used to. He knocked on Trucy's door first. She was usually the easier one to wake. Today however, his knock was met by a grumpy groan.
He sighed and went in anyway.
Trucy was flailing over the side of her bed. She was trying to hide her face behind the sleeves of her blue badger pyjamas but as a result, lost her grip and fell to the floor.
"Owwie!" she whined.
"Come on, Trucy, get up," he sighed.
"Hey mom..." she yawned.
"Come on. We're dropping you off in a minute."
"Klapollo won't mind if I'm late!"
He sighed again. Her obsession with name amalgamations and "OTP"'s was endearing though starting to get creepy. Especially the time he heard her say "Edgewright".
"Yes, but me and your dad do mind," he pointed out, folding his arms. He suddenly realised how stereotypically mom-like he was becoming.
"All right..." she huffed, standing up and rubbing her eyes.
"Good girl," he smiled.
Next up was the real challenge.
Thirteen hours and twenty five minutes earlier
He knocked on the door. Nothing. He let himself in. Phoenix stirred slightly. Miles sighed and strode in anyway to stand at his lovers bedside. He loudly cleared his throat. Nothing. He was now certain that Phoenix was doing this on purpose. Fortunately, experience had taught him a few ways of getting him to co-operate.
"God, I'd simply love to have a monthly angry bondage night!" he announced.
Phoenix suddenly sat bolt-upright and stared at him.
"Dream on, Romeo," Miles sniggered, "Come on. Have you packed your suitcase?"
"What do you need to bring to Vegas anyway?"
"That would be a no then?"
"Well, you'll need underwear," Miles announced, routing through the chest of drawers.
"Underwear?!" Phoenix sighed, "This obviously isn't the weekend I'd envisioned."
Miles threw some boxers at him.
"Come on. I'll be waiting in the car," he sighed.
Thirteen hours and twenty minutes earlier
In the time it had taken to get Phoenix to even wake up, Trucy was already waiting by the door, dressed in her favourite magicians suit and clutching to her bag of tricks.
"We're waiting for your dad in the car," he told her. Miles hated staying in the apartment if there wasn't anything romantic and/or kinky going on there. He sighed and marched out the door and down the many flights of stairs. Trucy skipped cheerfully behind him.
They were sat waiting in his new sports car for about twenty minutes before Phoenix shuffled out of the apartment block, carrying a tatty rucksack with him. He was also wearing that woollen hat that Miles loathed so deeply.
Miles sighed as his scruffy partner got in the front passenger seat.
"Let's go then..."
Thirteen hours and ten minutes earlier
Klavier's house wasn't too far away so Trucy was gone fairly quickly.
"Oh, I made a music CD for the trip!" Phoenix announced, handing Miles a disc.
"Oh, that's wonderful, Phoenix," he mock-praised, stuffing it in the glove compartment and turning the radio onto the classical station.
"Road trip..." he cheered sarcastically, "Whoooooop..."
Twelve hours and fifty minutes earlier
Phoenix was getting bored. He started making up lyrics to the pieces of music, such as the following to Carmen.
"Miles Edgeworth loves my cock, he loves it more than some, but what he loves the most is when I stick it up his-"
"Wright, for Christ's sake!" Miles wailed.
"I'm bored though!" he pouted.
"You're always bored if you're not doing something related to sex, alcohol or food!"
"Prove that point then!" he retorted, pointing his infamous 'lawyer finger'.
Miles gave him a quick glare then turned his attention back to the road.
"Oh look, Wright," he smirked, "A roadside restaurant dead-ahead!"
Phoenix sighed dramatically.
Twelve hours and forty five minutes earlier
They soon entered the little building. Miles suddenly regretted pointing it out. It was slightly less five star and considerably more greasy spoon. They approached the counter while staring up at the menu board. Quite a lot of the letters had fallen off ("Hey look! As of iced tea. Would you like an ass of iced tea, Miles?" "Piss off!")
"What'll it be, sugars?" the rather unattractive waitress asked, waving a spatula.
"Is there anything that's not dripping in grease and fat?" Miles grimaced.
"I'll have a cheeseburger and a glass of coke, please!" Phoenix asked enthusiastically, flicking Miles' nose.
"Sure, darlin'! Cola comes wit' unlimited free refills."
"Awesome! Did you hear that, Miles? Refills!" he cheered, playing his new 'winding Miles up in public by being as inappropriately enthusiastic as possible' game.
"For the love of all things sacred..." he grumbled, "I'll have the same as this imbecile."
Twelve and a half hours earlier
"I dread to think how many calories are in this."
"You're not on one of your stupid diets, are you?" Phoenix growled, actually taking a serious approach.
"No..." Miles glared, "Just I don't particularly feel like having a heart-attack. Unlike you, with, what is this? Your eleventh glass of coke?"
"Only my forth," he tutted defensively, "I'm getting my money's worth!"
"Clearly..." he sighed, "Well, make sure to go to the restroom before we go."
Phoenix found himself snorting coke in a rather untraditional way as he laughed into his drink.
"What now, Phoenix?"
"You do remember how old I am, right?"
"Sorry, I tend to forget when you talk..."
Eleven hours and forty five minutes earlier
"Are we anywhere near a rest stop?" asked Phoenix.
If looks could kill...
"PHOENIX WRIGHT!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU JUST LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO?!?!"
"I didn't need to go then though..." he pouted.
"We're in a desert. You'll have to hold on. We're only a couple of hours away."
Phoenix groaned. He stayed silent for a few moments then started fidgeting.
"Have you cleaned out the car lately?" he asked.
"No, why?" he asked suspiciously.
"Brilliant!" he whispered, picking something up.
"What is it?"
"Fanta bottle I left the other day!"
Miles brought the car to a screeching halt.
"If you think you're pissing in my car, you can forget it!" he hissed.
"Well, what do you propose then?"
Miles looked around.
"There's a tree," he pointed out.
"If you can call it that," Phoenix snorted.
"It's either that or learning to restrain yourself."
Phoenix sighed and got out of the car.
Miles tried staring at the steering wheel while his partner was otherwise occupied.
"Two shakes is enough!" he called impatiently.
"You were looking close enough to count?" Phoenix sniggered, getting back in the car.
"Shut up," he grumbled.
"What? Jealous?" he sing-songed. Miles tried to ignore him. This became difficult when Phoenix started pulling at his flies.
"What are you doing?!?!" he hissed, swatting the hand away.
"Having some fun with you!" he smirked.
"Well, stop it! I'm driving, remember?"
"I vaguely remember," his grin was so far beyond devilish by this point. It was also getting dangerously near Miles' lap.
"PHOENIX!" he screeched. He halted the car again, "I really hate you sometimes, you know that?"
"That's not what I'm seeing!"
Eleven hours earlier
"God, Phoenix, I hate you sometimes..." Miles gasped, in an ecstatic daze.
"Yeah, sure!" Phoenix sniggered.
"Do you think you could drive for a bit?" he sighed, stroking his partner's head in his lap.
"Why not?" he snapped, coming back to reality.
"I don't know how.
Miles put his head to the dashboard in frustration.
Nine and a half hours earlier
Miles was very tired and in quite a bad mood. They were waiting in the check-in queue at the Imperial Palace hotel.
"Hey look! There's Madonna!" Phoenix gasped.
"It's a card dealer in a costume. Shut up."
"Fine," he sighed, "Ha, look, there's one dressed as Klavier Gavin!"
"How about I get us a couple of cocktails while you untwist your knickers?" Phoenix sighed.
Miles huffed. He should've hired a chauffeur. Or maybe a cheap prostitute instead of Phoenix.
Nine and a quarter hours earlier
Phoenix came back with a cocktail and a bottle of beer. Miles was still waiting to check them in.
"I got you a Mai Tai, is that cool?"
"That's absolutely fine," he sighed, completely exhausted. He drained the cocktail by the time they'd finally got their room key.
"I was determined to have a good time..." he mumbled, as they walked through the flashing lights of the casino, to get to the hotel elevators. He was clearly quite agitated.
"Miles..." Phoenix said softly, cupping his lover's face in his hands, "Thanks for all this, really. And sorry for being a pain in the ass."
"Phoenix..." Miles whimpered.
"You go find our room. Run a bath with whatever flowery shit you want in it. I'll be up there in a minute with our luggage and a bottle of something bubbly and excessively gay."
Miles' eyes glittered. "Thank you, Wright."
They kissed softly and sweetly.
"Thank you," he repeated, still clinging to Phoenix's shirt.
"Go on, babe, go run that bath."
Miles pulled his toiletries bag from his suitcase and waved as he called the elevator.
Nine hours earlier
Phoenix got to their room, put their luggage by the bed then opened the bathroom door. He was immediately hit by the aroma of jasmine and ylang ylang, then by the sight of his lover shrouded in bubbles. His tired eyes were closed and he didn't seem to have noticed that his partner was in the room. Grinning excitedly, Phoenix stripped, poured out two glasses of wine then brought them with him as he stepped into the bath.
Miles woke up with a start as he felt a pair of legs entangle with his own. A glass appeared in front of his face. He blinked at it then took it slowly.
"Feeling any better?" Phoenix smiled.
Miles became more aware of his surroundings. He sneered and took a drink from the glass.
"Hmmmm... Pinot Blanc. Bit cheap, but still enjoyable, none the less."
"Sounds like you're describing someone you know," Phoenix purred, teasing him with his toes.
"You dick!" he smiled, pulling him close for a passionate kiss.
Seven hours and fifty minutes earlier
The wine was finished so they decided to sample the (in)famous Las Vegas nightlife. They cleaned up (after getting a little 'dirty'), got dressed then stepped out onto the strip.
On the strip, rows of people in lurid t-shirts were slapping stacks of cards in their hands. They kept trying to hand them out but they mostly went ignored. Eventually, Phoenix succumbed to curiosity and accepted some of the cards.
"Don't be silly, Wright, they can't be that- Oh good lord, that's disgusting!!!" Miles squealed, dropping the cards adorned with naked girls doing various acts upon themselves and each other.
Seven hours and forty five minutes earlier
"Hey Miles, look!!!"
Miles turned his head wearily.
"They sell drinks by the foot!" Phoenix stated excitedly.
"Well, everything is supposed to be bigger in Vegas."
"Wright, stop looking at my crotch!"
Seven and a half hours earlier
Foot-long appletinis in hand, the couple wandered around the casinos.
"Kinda boring that it's all cards now," Phoenix lamented as they played one of the slot machines.
"It's t'stop drunkards like you dropping your money everywhere," Miles 'explained'.
"Oooh look!" he gasped, "Poker! I'm amazing at poker!"
"Phoenix, that's not poker, that's the check in desk!"
"Yeah, well... liquor in the front, poker in the rear."
"I don't think that even makes sense!"
Seven hours earlier
They soon grew bored of gambling so stepped out into a night club.
"Mily, Mily! They have cocktails in guitars here!" Phoenix squealed in drunken excitement.
"Objection! Don't be silly! An acoustic guitar filled with alcohomolol would sound absolutely, completely and utterly, incredibly... well, shit!" Miles argued.
"I think it's an electric guitar."
"Well, that just doesn't make sense."
"I bet back home, Klavier drinks from an electric guitar."
"No, he doesn't. Remember? You bought him that mug. I can't remember what it said. It was probably crude. But it was a mug and not a guitar."
"Yeah... but he has guitars as well..."
"What the heck are we babbling about?"
Five hours and forty five minutes earlier
They tested their theories by sharing one of these "guitars". It was obviously just another large novelty cocktail tumbler but they were also obviously quite drunk.
"I feel like a rock star!!!" Phoenix shouted, dancing on a podium.
"Well, you look like a go-go boy!" Miles shouted back.
"Miles! I love you!!!"
"Shut up, Wright! I love you too!"
"I want to make an honest woman of you!"
"Okay... wait, what?!?!"
Five hours and ten minutes earlier
After a quick run around the stores of the strip, with 'relevant' attire, they stumbled into the 'Little White Chapel'.
Before long, they found themselves stood together in front of Elvis Presley or at least a fair impersonator.
"Do you, uh-huh-huh?" he started, pointing at Phoenix.
"Do you, Phoenix, take, uh-huh-huh?"
"Strange name for a chick..."
Miles coughed indignantly.
"Do you, Phoenix, take Miles to be your devil in disguise?"
"Yeah, s'long as we can get to the honeymoon soon!"
"And, uh-huh-huh, do you... Miles, take... Phoenix to be your hunk o' hunk o' burnin' love?"
Miles took a deep breath. He smoothed down his exquisite white dress of silk and lace.
"I dooooo..." he purred, hugging Phoenix's waist.
"Well, uh-huh-huh, I now pronounce you man and... uh-huh... huh. Partner."
The 'newlyweds' kissed passionately, their hands quivering between their waists and faces.
"You can collect your certificate and complimentary cocktails at the front desk. Congrats."
Four hours and thirty five minutes earlier
Absolutely falling over themselves, they stumbled through the hallways of the Caesars Palace hotel, looking for their room.
"Here t'is!" Phoenix announced.
"Are you gonna open it?"
"Yeah.. Have you got the key?"
"I thought you had the key."
"I thought you had the key."
"I don't know where the key is."
"Well, I don't know where the key is. Wait, I do know where the key is."
"Where is the key?"
"In our other clothes."
Miles looked relieved for a moment. Then completely confused and bewildered.
"Where are our other clothes?"
Now, Phoenix was thinking.
Four and a half hours earlier
"The chapel?" Phoenix suggested.
"The chapel!" Miles repeated.
"And I think we left our complimentary drinks too!"
"That just will not do!" he barked, trying to stand up with proud determination. In his drunken state however, he had enough trouble standing up at all.
Phoenix attempted to help while getting up as well. He didn't really help as such, instead he tripped, pinning Miles against the wall in a rather compromising position.
After a short fumbling make-out session, they stumbled back onto the strip in search of their clothes.
Four hours earlier
They soon found them, along with their key and drinks.
They wandered back to Caesars Palace and wearily attempted to open the door to their room.
"Not working!" Phoenix exclaimed.
"Let me look!" Miles ordered. He grabbed it then started mumbling, "You're probably putting it inside out or something..."
They both fell asleep before working out why their card didn't work.
Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth stared at each other in a blind panic (and Miles also in dire embarrassment to be wearing a massive dress). Phoenix was the first to speak.
"What uh... what happened?"
"I'd be more than willing to assume there was alcohol involved..." Miles sighed.
"What are we doing out here? You're holding the key card!"
Miles looked in his hand to see that his lover was right. He inspected it as best he could without his reading glasses.
"Which hotel are we in right now?"
Phoenix looked around. "Caesars Palace."
"And which hotel did we actually check into?"
"That was the... oh shit."
They ran downstairs to find the nearest public restroom so they could change into their normal clothes before anyone saw them.
Once changed, they marched to the Imperial Palace hotel where they found that their key worked perfectly well.
"Miles?" Phoenix whispered, lying entangled with his partner-in-crime (and apparently marriage now).
"You know that saying 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'?"
"Yes. What of it?"
"I like the phrase. What says you to following it?"
"That sounds great..." he sighed, "But... this certificate says we're legally wed."
They both looked at each other for a moment.