Disclaimer: I own none of the characters except for maybe a few drunken people and some of Alex's friends. Stephen Sommers and the Universal gang own the two Mummy films, not I. So please do not think of suing! I only do this for your enjoyment!

Author's Note: You're wrong if you think this is serious. You're wrong if you think they are way out of character or things that happen are very unlikely! This is a Parody, this is fanfic for a MOVIE, and almost nothing is true in MOVIES. Alrighty then? Thanks! Oh, and I'm sorry this took such a long time. I just suddenly got inspired to be crazy! Let's have some parody and out-of-character fun!!!

As Jonathan and Ardeth continued to sing and dance like idiots in the now crowded closet, Alex was busy with his girlfriends. A bunch of his little guy friends had come in from looking at guns and now the girls and the guys were going to play spin the bottle.

Alex rubbed his hands together, looked around for any sign that his parents had escaped the closet, and then spun the bottle. All the teens watched it as it went round and round and round. Just as it was about to land on the girl of his dreams, his friend caught the bottle and picked it up.

"Let's play poker!" The kid shouted. Alex punched him in the nose and then when the girl looked to him and gave puppy dog eyes, he said, "Okay! Poker it is! But let's make it strip poker!" All of the guys nodded and shouted, "HURRAH!"

Meanwhile, in the closet that was starting to get VERY crowded, Jonathan and Ardeth were doing a kind of sloppy square dance. Imhotep and Rick looked to each other, and they went into a little corner of the closet.

"Okay, you grab Ardeth and I'll grab Jonathan. We can use their heads to break down the door!" Rick concluded.

Imhotep tilted his head to the side. "Hmm. well that's no good!"

Rick raised an eyebrow. "Why not?! It's the perfect plan if we want to get out of here! I mean, do you want to be stuck with these drunk maniacs?!"

Imhotep shrugged. "It's not fair. You get the lighter one. I really don't need to be straining my back picking up Ardeth!"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Tough scarabs. We have to get the women out of here!"

So Imhotep picked up Ardeth and Rick picked up Jonathan, and surprisingly enough, the two men kept singing. "28 bottles of rum on the wall!" Rick shook his head from side to side and then looked to Imhotep. They nodded and Rick counted. "1. 2. 3. HEAVE!"

It only took about three times to get the door opened. Rick and Imhotep dropped the still conscious and singing Jonathan and Ardeth.

Anck-su-namun and Evy pushed Rick and Imhotep aside and stepped out, stepping on Jonathan and Ardeth.

"Finally! Some air!" Anck-su-namun exclaimed.

"Hey, want to go look at my garden?" Evy asked Anck-su-namun. Anck-su-namun nodded as Rick and Imhotep rolled their eyes and began walking in front of them. Evy and Anck-su-namun followed.

As the front two people, Rick and Imhotep came across Alex partially naked and his girlfriends in their underwear. Rick, looking outraged, went up to Alex and to Alex's great delight, patted him on the back and said, "Keep up the good work, Alex!"

Evy, on the other hand, went up to Alex and slapped him on the back of your head. "You are being a very bad boy! I'm so disappointed in you!" And she continued walking with Anck-su-namun to the garden.

Jonathan came up to Alex and smiled drunkenly. "Jolly good! Carry on! Don't stop till you have their underwear!"

Alex took a deep breath. He looked to his friends. "I have to find someway to get them back into the closet! Or the bathroom! Will you help me?!" He was pleased when his friends raised their fists and screamed, "HURRAH!"