Co-written by First Weaver and Rayneken. Author's notes are at the bottom (so that those who wish to skip them may do so.) Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or anything else borrowed for this story. If I did, do you think Sasuke would be wearing so many darn clothes?
In Which Naruto is Educated Regarding His Hat
The following is not a part of the Hokage Hat Files and should be treated as a separate document. If you are reading this, stop now before you are prosecuted.
A list has been compiled of all the things for which the distinctive Hokage's hat should not be used. Appendices are included where appropriate. Possible situations related to hat abuse which have not yet occurred have been omitted to prevent the idiot from getting ideas. That list is verbal only and is classified as an S-class level 10 secret. The only persons who have clearance are Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Hinata, Hyuuga Neji, Hatake Kakashi, and myself. Anyone else found in possession of any portion of this record will be turned over to Ibiki.
Anyone who tells Naruto about it will be given to Sakura.
Author's note: If you've made it this far, I applaud you. There are a couple more chapters to go, mostly silly. If anyone's curious whence the inspiration for this bit of lunacy came, I will only say this: Do not look at Hokage fanart at midnight while high on sugar and caffeine with your best friend.
Bad, bad plot bunnies may result.