Disclaimer: Not mine, alas.

Author's Notes: Written in response to Porn Battle VIII's prompt 'examine'. McCoy/Gaila.

Fix Me

"I think I'm broken."

That was her response. McCoy had demanded to know why the very attractive you Orion, who was very much his best friend's girlfriend, was spread out naked on his bed. And that was her response.

"Broken in the head?" he demanded, pressing himself back against the wall in an effort to be as physically far away from her as possible. And he wasn't looking. And he definitely, definitely hadn't noticed that her breasts were perfect, and her stomach was flat, and her hips were full in that 'dig your fingers into me while we fuck' kind of way. Dear god, it sucked being divorced.

She shrugged – or, you know, she might have done. McCoy didn't know because he Was Not Looking. "Maybe. Something's not working. And you're a doctor, right? So I thought you could fix it."

"Gaila, that's the worst pick up line I've ever heard. And I've spent the last two years sharing a bedroom with Jim Kirk." Breathing, he was pretty sure he was OK. He had a raging erection, but that was fine, he could live with that. He glanced at her cautiously.

She licked her lips and he didn't know whether to punch the wall or dry hump it.

"You're not going to ask me what's wrong?"

"You look just fine from here," he said tightly.

"Yeah, but I'm not. I'm broken. I'm completely not horny." The concept of 'not horny' wasn't something McCoy was in any state to comprehend right at that moment, so he said nothing. "I haven't been horny for, like, three days, and it's starting to worry me. Even when Jim ran his fingers under my skirt in that way I really like." He glanced at her again. Her breasts jiggled when she shrugged, and he could swear she was doing it on purpose. "Nothing!"

"So why are you in my bed? Dammit, I'm a doctor not a sex god."

She spread her legs, and McCoy was a pink tutu-ed ballerina if that wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever seen. "Examine me. There must be something really wrong."

Breathing – because that was, apparently, something that now required conscious thought – McCoy took a tentative step closer. "So this is a purely professional call. If I check you over, I'm not going to find myself tied to the bed with whipped cream on my nipples and a bow around my dick?"

Gaila had the indecency to flutter her eyelashes. "Leonard," she said with a small seductive smile, "You should know Orions can't eat dairy." She chuckled as his step faltered, and shook her head so brilliant red curls went flying. "I promise, you're fine."

Nodding once, McCoy approached the bed as though it contained a dangerous animal. In many respects, he supposed, it did. Swallowing loudly in the quiet room, McCoy knelt on the bed, and looked at Gaila's vagina – somehow technical terms made the whole situation that teeny tiny itsy bitsy bit better. "It looks fine," he said gruffly. "Problem must be hormonal, you need to go to med bay so they can check you out properly."

Dammit, but that pout was sexy. Her lower lip had been purposely designed to be nibbled. "You barely even looked. Don't you need to, like, examine me or something? With your fingers?"

Eyes narrowing, McCoy began to suspect he had just walked into a trap. This rather dim-witted thought occurred to him a split second before Gaila's legs wrapped around his upper thighs, pulling him forward with more strength than he would have guessed at. He toppled onto her, hands landing either side of her shoulders to keep the majority of his weight off her. Her legs came higher, wrapping around his hips to pull his groin snugly against hers. And those golden lips were on him, hot and wet and sucking on all the right places. "You don't really have any problems being horny, do you?" McCoy groaned, unable to help grinding himself against her.

"Nope," she sighed happily.

Already her hands were under his shirt, nails scraping over his shoulder blades – and how did she know that's exactly what drove him nuts? He shuddered, eyes rolling up in his head. "You just wanted to jump me, didn't you?"

"Yup," she grinned. Her hands were at his belt now, making quick work of the fastenings before he could change his mind. Not that that was really going to be a problem anytime soon.

McCoy was all set to go – hard prick springing free of his pants, her hand guiding him closer, because Gaila was always ready to go.

"Um, Bones?"

Aw, shit.

They turned their heads, as one, to the half-bemused, half-pissed off cadet standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his stance was nonchalant enough for Bones to think he wasn't going to have to brawl for his life. But that was not a happy eyebrow raised half-way up his forehead.

"Bones, why are you on top of my naked girlfriend?"

Swallowing, McCoy levelled his voice, made it as smooth and professional as possible as he explained, "She said she was broken."

It would have been fine. That would have made everything just dandy, if only Gaila hadn't perkily added, "And McCoy was fixing me!"