I'm Not Egotistical, I Just Have Firmer Man-Nipples Than Him!

Notes: This is for kisahawklin who asked "OKAY! THEN I WANT FIVE/SHAWN SPENCER!". And for soleta who is sad that there isn't tons of Shawn/Jules fic. And thanks to tl__dr for betaing and teaching me how to spell. AND FOR GIVING ME THIS TOTALLY AWESOME TITLE.

Thing was, Shawn was so not okay with Jules dating the old dude. Or any dude! Unless that dude was him, of course. But especially an old dude because ew. Besides, he was kind of a jerk and almost got Gus killed. Sort of.

Today, her earrings were sparklier, her heels were a half in ch higher than usual, and the shirt under her suit jacket was all ruffly and... pretty. Plus, in her bag (not that Shawn looked, it's just that when he bumped it open, he couldn't help but see inside) was a bunch of semi-expensive makeup.

Jules had a date after work.

Clearly this was not okay. Jules was too busy to go on dates (with gross old guy who weren't him (not that he was old, or gross, but he hoped that if he ever did get old (or gross) she would still go on dates with him)). Except they'd just wrapped up their case for the day (Gus was trying to wrangle snacks out of Buzz as a reward for a job well done) and all that was left was pestering Lassy, which he didn't need Jules for and-

"Chief!" He burst into Vick's office and slumped in a chair. "I'm getting a... vision. Yes. Of a cat... no, a cake... no, a car! But it... it's bigger on the inside!"

"Get to the point, Spencer," Vick growled at him, checking her watch.

"There're drug runners in Santa Barbara! And I think I'm getting a vision of where they are!"

Vick sighed and called Lassy and Jules back in, while Shawn quietly congratulated himself on coming up with a case that would last all night. A true case, even (because a car with a missing set of plates going into a garage one color and coming out another shiny color with plates and suspicious men could mean drug running when the chop shop was slow, right? Right.).

He celebrated by stealing Gus's cruller.


"Jules, hey Jules! Wait up!" Shawn skidded to a stop next to her and jammed his hands in his pockets.

"What is it, Shawn?" She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and sighed. "It's been a long day and I-"

"Did you have to cancel your date?" he broke in, ignoring how tired she looked.

"Yeah, he- How did you know I had a date?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you spying on me, Shawn?"

"I'm sorry Jules." He so wasn't, though. Just as planned! "I can't control my psychic visions, sometimes..."

"Right," she said. "Do you need something?"

"What were you and Old Man Grizzly going to do?" He hopped up to sit on the trunk of a nearby car and swung his legs idly. Oh yeah, he was smooth.

"We were going out to dinner, Shawn. Can I go home now?"

"I'm having a vision," he told her with minimal theatrics (but not none entirely, because his acting was cool). "You're not going home, you're going to dinner with me ."

Jules finally cracked a smile. Oh yeah, he was cool as a cucumber. "I am? Where are we going?"

Shawn began to cluck like a chicken. "Bawk buck buck buck buck. I'm seeing a chicken! A delicious, breaded chicken wing. Covered in special sauce. Mmm, spicy." He dropped the act and hopped down off the car. "King Lou's Chicken Hut? They're open late."

Jules laughed. "Yeah, okay, let's go."