Taylor entered Insomnia; she had walking all over town pretending to look for Steffy, even though she knew quite well that she was down at the beach with Marcus. It was just that ever since she broke off the engagement to Rick almost a month ago she had been looking desperately for something or someone to fill the void in her heart. She had realized how lonely she was without him, especially on nights like this one. Nights when Jack were with Nick & Bridget, and not with her. If she had Jack, he kept her occupied, and she could go all day and sometimes even the whole night without thinking about Rick and simply focusing 100% on being Jack's mother. But when she didn't have him…. She was all alone, and she couldn't take. That's why she went out, pretending to look for Steffy or Phoebe depending on what they were doing that night. And that's when she heard him, for the first time in weeks, but he wasn't saying something to her, he wasn't talking, no he was singing. Singing to her.

One day to long I've been missing you

Two days have gone since I've heard your voice

I've lost track of time since

I've seen your smile or tasted your kiss

Immediately she knew he had seen her coming, why else would he be singing like that, in a way she knew was for her, and she knew he was singing not because he wanted to, or because he loved it. No, he sang because he wanted HER, because he loved HER. And just like that she felt the pain in her heart again. The pain that she had felt pretty much non-stop for the past month. Ever since… no it was too painful to even think about what she had done that night, and how much had changed because of it. Part of her regretted it every day, at the same time she knew it was the only thing she could have done. It just had to be that way, no matter how much it hurt.

One step, One life I count in my mind
Just settle down baby I promise so will
I

I've lost track of time

Since I've seen your smile or tasted your kiss

Taylor looked up at the stage, and straight into Rick's eyes and she saw the love and it was still so strong that she had to look away, because his love was too much for her and she knew that if she looked at him longer she would get caught up in the love she still felt for him, the love she knew she would always feel. A love that was stronger than anything she had ever shared with anyone, stronger than Storm, stronger than Thorne, even stronger than Nick and Ridge. It was a love stronger than anything she had ever felt, maybe with the exception of the one she has for her children. And Rick had understood that, and he had been so great with Jack. Like a father to him, the same his sister had been like a mother to him. Maybe it wasn't the most normal family, but it had been an amazing one, at least for the little time it lasted.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

She still loved the sound of his voice, the way he had the ability to sing just to her, even in a room crowded with other people. The way she could just listen, and enjoy. But this time, it wasn't like the other times he had sung for her, no this time he sang with such an emotion that it swept her of her feet. This time he sang with heartbreak in his voice that she knew she was responsible for. It hurt to hear him sing like that, to her in such a way. The way he laid his soul out there, for everyone to hear. But maybe especially for her to hear, she knew he wanted her to know how much he missed her and how much he still loved her. She knew that the only reason he was up there singing was because it was easier for him to say those words that way, than to look her in the eyes and tell them to her.

The shape of your shadow dances on the wall

We're two broken leaves drifting in the fall

I've lost track of time

Since I've seen your smile or tasted your kiss

Gad, how she loved that man yet she had let him go. It had seemed like the right thing to do, even if Steffy had to call Nick and ask him to take Jack that whole week, even she was supposed to pick him up that Wednesday, because Taylor herself had sat in her room crying the whole week. And Steffy didn't want Brooke to have more reasons for hating her mother. So she had told Nick that Taylor thought it would be a good idea if Nick, Bridget and Jack went on their first real big trip on the Marlin. Just to make sure that no one ever had an excuse to call her mother a bad mother ever again. Taylor had picked up Jack that Monday like nothing had happened the last week, and that there was no particular reason for why she had chosen exactly that week to let Jack spend with his father and step-mother. It had actually taken almost a week and a half before everyone knew it. And that had been good for Taylor; it had given her some time to process what happened and to make sense of it. Not that it did, she still couldn't quite understand why she felt like the only way was to end the relationship with Rick but …

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

Taylor tried to recall the last time they were happy, planning their wedding which was supposed to be next Thursday, but the only thing she could see was the look on Rick's face when she told him it was over. And the hard part was not telling him why, she just couldn't tell him why. So, she just stood there, in front of him crying, trying to say something to him that would make sense, but nothing really did. It didn't matter how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, it didn't matter that she loved him more than anyone ever before. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Nothing but the look on Rick's face seemed to matter. The utter despair when he realized what just happened, he just stood there with the ring in his hand and he was crying. Taylor had never seen Rick cry before, but he did just then. He cried for the life she was turning her back on, the life they now never would have.

I woke up wondering…what am I doing?

Living and breathing without you

I can't go on, living and breathing

Just believing dreams do come true

Uh, how she wished Rick hadn't stolen her heart the way he had. How she wished she didn't love him as much as she did. But there was just no way out, she couldn't escape it, his love, the feeling that he was watching over her the same way he had done when they first had started doing what the hell they were doing back then, dating wouldn't really be the right world. More like falling in love under strange circumstances. It was like he was still there for her, everyday, keeping her from falling apart that same way she had after she lost Nick, and then Jack. She hadn't even gone near alcohol again. The thought hadn't even occurred to her. Not after the way Rick helped her get past her drinking the last time, not after everything he had done for her. Not after he had saved her. If she drank again, it would be like saying that what Rick did for her didn't matter and it did. More than anything.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

She looked at him again, but this time, she didn't look away. She wanted to see the passion and the heartbreak in his eyes, and more than that, it was like a part of her needed to see it, the passion and especially the heartbreak. And was like she needed to realize the biggest mistake of her life, realize that she had let the best thing that ever happened to her go. She needed to see the love, compassion and underlining trust that she knew was there. She tried to smile at him, but it didn't work. The only one who actually could make her smile lately had been Jack, because of some insane reason she saw something of Rick in Jack (It probably came from the fact that they had the same biological mother, but Taylor didn't like to think of that.) So, smiling to Rick just didn't work, not today.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

Taylor heard clapping and suddenly remembered that there was more people in the room than just her and Rick. Her heart had none the less been touched by the song he had song for her, only for her, no matter how many people were in the room. And as much as she wanted to run over to him and kiss him to the end of the world, she couldn't. She wanted to go over there and tell him that she loved him, but she couldn't. Instead she picked up the nearest napkin and scribbled something on it. When she raised her head she saw that he was coming towards her, however very slowly, but their eyes met and for an instant, a tiny moment she almost changed her mind, but she didn't. Instead she turned around, and walked out the door and away from him once again, hoping that next time it would be easier to walk away, or that next time she would have the courage to do what she really wanted to do, kiss and make up.