Rick sat at Insomnia drinking his coffee, looking down, as he had done every day for the past month, ever since Taylor broke off the engagement. All he had been trying to do was forget her, get over her. He had even almost slept with a girl two nights after they had broken up, simply because she looked like younger version of Taylor. The only reason he didn't sleep with her was that the girl had kicked him of her after he accidently called her "Taylor". Apparently, getting over and forgetting Taylor Hamillton Hayes, the woman he had planned to spend the rest of his life with wasn't going to be that easy. Then he saw her, she was coming in the front door. "She is probably looking for Steffy or Phoebe" he thought to himself, but then a thought formed in his head, and he knew he could pull it off. He jumped on stage, like it was something he did every day, grabbed the mic and started to sing:

One day to long I've been missing you

Two days have gone since I've heard your voice

I've lost track of time since

I've seen your smile or tasted your kiss

He had written that song to her the week after she ended it, when he started to realize that maybe this time she wasn't coming back to him. That this time she wouldn't realize that letting him go would be the biggest mistake of her life. He hated the idea of spending his life without her, and he wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. Especially not after Steffy had come to talk to him four days after the fact, and told him that Taylor had locked herself into her room ever since he left and that she could hear her cry to through the door, she had asked him if he could talk to her, and he had tried. He had gotten himself the whole way to her front door before he turned and left again. He just couldn't face her, it was too soon. And just the image of Taylor alone, in her room crying, so vulnerable, was enough to break his heart all over again.

One step, One life I count in my mind
Just settle down baby I promise so will
I

I've lost track of time

Since I've seen your smile or tasted your kiss

She looked up on the stage and their eyes locked for an instant before she turned away again and then Rick came to the sudden realization of how lonely he was without her. Nobody in his family had liked his engagement to Taylor, and even if they tried to be there for him, they all had this "I told you so" look on their faces and that was the last thing he needed. He didn't even feel like he could talk to Bridget, not when she had her plate full with her own drama. His family always had their plates filled with drama, and he didn't really have anybody else. He really missed Taylor, almost as much as he loved her. The way the connected on a deeper level than anything he had ever experienced. He looked at her, even if her head was turned away from him and he knew he would never ever find anyone like Taylor ever again.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

He could even hear the heartbreak in his own voice, and it scared the hell out of him. The fact that someone could break his heart in such a way that he could hear it himself in his voice when he sang, it was clear that Taylor had reached a place in his heart that nobody had been before. And when she ended it, it wasn't like the other people. Sure, he'd loved Phoebe, he'd loved Amber, heck maybe he'd even almost loved Ashley. But Taylor, she was something else. He'd never believed in true love, soul mates or that one big love. Mostly because of his mother's inability to chose between Nick and Ridge and all the other men in her life. He had never seen one relationship last, and he had pretty much stopped believing. Then Taylor came, and she changed everything he had ever believed in when the last thing he ever expected happened, he fell in love with her. And suddenly soul mates, true love and that great love didn't seem so unlikely anymore. He'd seen marriages fail; he even had a failed one on his record himself. But with Taylor, it had been different. He was so sure she was the one. That she was it for him.

The shape of your shadow dances on the wall

We're two broken leaves drifting in the fall

I've lost track of time

Since I've seen your smile or tasted your kiss

He had been in a pretty dark place when he wrote this, and in many ways he still was. He knew Taylor would always be a huge part of him, of who he was. He had been willing to throw away everything for her, and in many ways he had. His whole family had turned his back on him when he had chosen her, well all except from his father and Bridget. But he loved her with his whole heart, and he knew that if his family didn't accept that it would be their problem, NOT his. Everybody thought he had rushed things with Taylor, that he was moving too fast forward. That he should take things slower, yet he had troubles remembering a time where he didn't love Taylor, a time where she wasn't a big part of his life. He really had made Taylor the center of his universe, and now without her. He was so empty without her.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

He remembered the morning after the break-up; it kept playing in his head, along with the actual breakup itself. He had crashed at Marcus' place but it had taken him a while before he realized just where he was, and why Taylor wasn't next to him, why he couldn't kiss her good morning. He was thankful that his cousin/step-brother hadn't asked him too many questions when he stood at his doorstep asking if he could crash for a few days. Same with Steffy when he had told her that she maybe should go home to her mother, she probably needed her. He had stayed with Marcus for two whole days before he asked him what happened. The problem was, he didn't know what happened, he still didn't know. One minute they were deciding on the flower arrangements for the wedding and the next moment Taylor stood in front of him, crying and he had her ring in his hand.

I woke up wondering…what am I doing?

Living and breathing without you

I can't go on, living and breathing

Just believing dreams do come true

He still dreamt about Taylor, something close to every night. He dreamt of their wedding and their life together. And once in a while a brown-haired girl with gorgeous blue eyes, who answered to the name, Haley, their little girl. He wanted that life with Taylor, heck he wanted Taylor. He wanted more than anything to be her husband, and a father to Jack. To give Jack the family he deserved, the stability he never had growing up thanks to his mother, and her inability to stay with one guy. Yet, every time he dreamt of her, and Haley, he woke up happy because every part of him wanted to believe it was true, so when he wakes up just for one single moment he believed it was. Then he turned around and realized that Taylor wasn't lying next to him, and Haley wouldn't be coming running in the room yelling "Mommy, mommy. Jack and I want pancakes, can you make them? Pleeeeease?!" and his heart broke all over again. He had thought it would get easier to wake up without her, but it didn't. It just got worse, if that was even possible. Time didn't seem to heal all wounds after all, all it did was make him want Taylor even more.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

Her eyes found his again, but this time she didn't turn away. And for a split second he considered turning away himself, because looking in to her eyes where bringing back memories he wasn't sure he could deal with right now, when he was up on stage singing in front of the crowd, but he couldn't it turn away. He was captured by her beauty and her grace as he always was. He loved her so much. But when she looked into his eyes like she did right now, all he could see was her face, and the tears that were running down it the night she ended it. And he wondered if it would ever be easier to see her, and how he would react if he saw her with someone else, someone that was not him. He shook the thought of Taylor with someone else right out of his head again. He couldn't deal with it, not when he still thought of Taylor has his, and the thought of someone else touching her. No, he just didn't want to even go there.

Smoke on the horizon, late in the afternoon

Sunlight in my eyes, and I wake up to soon

I fall down inside when I realize

Morning has come and we're still undone

He finished the song and heard the applause but he didn't care about that. It wasn't like he was singing to them anyway; he was singing to her, everybody else just happened to be there for the ride. He walked off the stage, and looked for her, hoping she would stick around. Hoping she got the message of the song, that he wanted her back. He also hoped that he would have the courage to talk to her first the first time in weeks, the only time they had talked and it hadn't been more than a "Hi." Before they ran their separate ways were at Steffy and Phoebe birthday party which he had attended, just because Marcus had pretty much begged him to come, plus he still cared about Phoebe a lot, he had known he would run into Taylor at some point. She was after all their mother and he knew it would be painful, but it seemed like neither one of them was really ready to talk about it yet, so it had just become awkward and uncomfortable. He grabbed the chain he was wearing around his neck with Taylor's ring on, which he had been wearing there ever since he got it back, partly to feel close to Taylor and partly because he wanted to have it with him in case he was lucky enough to put it back on her finger again. Then he saw her, by one of the tables. It looked like she was writing something on a piece of paper or possibly on a napkin. He walked towards her, however it was very slowly. She looked up and their eyes met. He took one step forward hoping she wouldn't run away again. Hoping she was ready. But she wasn't, or at least it seemed like she wasn't as she was already on her way out the door, but Rick could swear she was crying. He wanted to run after, wipe her tears away and tell her it would be alright, instead he walked over to the table to find out what she had written, he knew it was for him. He picked it up and started to read it:

Rick,

Loving you were easy, it's letting go that hurts.

Taylor

And as he read it, he felt a single tear fall down his cheek.