Usual disclaimers. It might be helpful to glance at "The Great New Year's Challenge and SwapOff" before reading, but it's not completely necessary. Hope you enjoy!

"Jesus, Reid, what the hell is this thing?"

"My bookshelf."

"A bookshelf that looks like somethin' out of Star Wars?"

"Actually, it's a mock-up of the helm panel on the bridge of the USS Enterprise."


"Star Trek, Morgan."


"How can a guy who reads Vonnegut and loves things like Harrison Bergeron and Slaughterhouse-Five not understand the concepts of classic science fiction pictures?"

"Look, I don't know. Harrison Bergeron is fascinating because it deals with the idea of forced similarity. Imagine you havin' to be as slow and mediocre as the rest of us, genius-boy."

"That would be statistically impossible. I can't be made any more or less smart than my natural capabilities will allow."

"Still, people find a way. That's the point. Tell me what you learn from Star…whatever."

"Star Wars instills the idea of fulfilling a destiny, whether it's predetermined or chosen. It also illustrates the concepts of good and evil and shows that the 'black' and 'white' hats, as it were, aren't always so cut and dry. Sometimes villains aren't always villains, and so forth."

"That's it?"

"Well, there's more, but you'll get all glassy-eyed on me."

"Oh. Well, help me lift this thing—it's heavy!"

"Good thing we're only moving it downstairs."

"How on earth did you manage to get a ground floor apartment?"

"Someone moved?"

"Hah hah. I mean, I thought you said that you practically had to kill someone to get one of those babies in this building."

"Well, there was a waiting list, and my name cropped up. Of course I said yes."

"Beats hauling groceries up five flights of stairs, huh?"

"You're not kidding. Especially considering how many times a week I buy groceries."


"Oh, shut up. I eat."

"Coffee, coffee, chocolate, and more coffee. Maybe the occasional take-out or three."

"No worse than you."

"Damn—did you take the books out of this bookshelf?"

"Yes, Morgan, I did. I'm sure you'd notice if I left my copy of Dostoyevsky or Dickens or Deaver in there.

"They're alphabetized?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Kid, you really need to get a life."

"Fine—there's a Comic-Con coming up…"

"Ahh…I'll pass."

"I knew it. Besides, Kyle and Ollie are going with me."

"Never would have pegged them as fans."

"Kyle loves Star Wars. Oliver's going because he thinks he can find some good Marvel items he's been looking for."

"I really don't want to…hey, what's this?"

"What's what?"

"This poster…"

"Oh, um, nothing. Never mind."

"Does Austin know?"


"And she's okay with it?"


"I didn't think our friend could look that good in a gold bikini…"

"You tell her and I'm telling her you gave it to me."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Okay, into the box it goes. That should be it in here, shouldn't it?"

"Yeah. The rest is going to Goodwill."

"Seriously, how'd you…"

"Don't ask."

"Okay, okay…"

"Finally, we're done with the bedroom."

"Wanna tackle the kitchen next?"

"I guess. Beats trying to go through the closet…"