A/N : Even with The OVA; Naniwa no Ouji-sama, love for Shitenhouji is still lacking and it's so sad. Shitenhouji is my 3rd favorite team after Hyoutei and Rikkai. So, I will spread to you love of Kansai bastards, I mean, Kansai Ben is like the smexiest accent ever, right, Yuushi?
This fic will be KenZai aka. KenyaZaizen. I'm so sad that Zaizen didn't even talk in OVA, noooo. I thought in the OVA i will be able to see more of my Naniwa Boy Genius. Zaizen needs more love after I saw each page in PIVIX has Zaizen on it, I decided I will make you love Zaizen! Behold, Naniwa Prat Genius will take your brain over!! *insert evil Kansai laugh here*

Disclaimer : As much as I want to be a mangaka in the future, I'm not Konomi Takeshi since I'm not going to release a single in the mean time.

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Zaizen was confused, he's torn between being happy and not. His parent had decided that they're going to go on a holiday which means Zaizen will be staying only with his brother, his sister in law, and his nephew. Not that anything really change since only 2 people will leave the house, but whenever his parent around, his brother never bother him with his private life, namely; his love life. Now that their parent had gone to ther trip, Zaizen found himself sitting together with his brother, watching a movie he's certain Kintaro would like. So far so good since his brother had said nothing but his brother is a fucktease after all.

"So, Hikaru-chan, do you have a girlfriend?" the elder Zaizen, Zaizen Ikari asked.

"No."

"Aww, come on, you are 14 years old, good looking, bad ass, young, hot, and genius, how come you don't have a girl friend?"

Zaizen was considering of throwing tennis balls on his brother, but he was practically praising him so Zaizen didn't mind, "Because I am bad ass?"

Ikari pouted then smacked Zaizen across the head with pillow, "Why are being a smart jack ass now?"

"You said yourself I'm genius," he replied calmly, smacking his brother back.

"Little prat."

"Old man."

"I am not old."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm just…"

"You are a father of 5 years old girl."

"Blame my smart ass that I can get job easily and married when I was 22 years old."

Yeah, he couldn't say anything since it's true anyway and keeping this further would likely make his brother called him 'young uncle'. He doesn't like the idea so he backed off. "I don't think it's your business."

Ikari took a sip of his drink then slung an arm over Zaizen's shoulders, he grinned and Zaizen was glad his brother wasn't drinking alcohol, "But Hikaru-chan, i'm worried you're going to be an old man, spending the rest of your life alone being a jack ass and smart ass, I can imagine you're going to live alone in a house near a beach watching girls in bikinis but you don't have anyone to laid on…"

"Living near the beach watching girls with bikinis is not my dream," Zaizen said, removing his brother's arm from his shoulders, "It was yours. I prefer a quiet and peaceful live near a good takoyaki stand and watch baseball every day."

"What kind of dream is that?" Ikari gawked at his brother then slung his arm back again.

"Dream of Naniwa Boy Genius." He said, removing his brother's arm again, "stop slinging your arm on me, it's heavy!"

"But, Hikaru-chan!" God, his brother sounds like Koharu-senpai, "you need to get a life!"

"Play tennis?" he offered nonchalantly, taking a sip from his brother's cup.

"You need someone to color your day, Hikaru-chan! That's what you called life! Beside, you are so young, this is your days of youth! Do something a teenager will do!"

"Study?"

"Smart ass."

"Thank you very much."

They were silent until his brother pushed the matter again. "Ok, at least, do you have crush on someone?"

Zaizen thought for a while before answering, "If you mean that do I have someone I want to crush, I want to crush Koharu-senpai, he's such a pervert."

Ikari smacked his brother's head with newspaper.

"Hey, you just killed my important brain cells!" Zaizen growled.

"Good, so you won't be a smart ass." His brother huffed and Zaizen mourned over his dead brain cells. "I'm serious, Hikaru!"

Still mourning over his beloved brain cells that had helped him being a genius, Zaizen threw his brother a glare, "You made me no longer a genius, you killed my brain cells!"

"So, you had crush on your brain cells?"

"No, idiot. You just killed them!"

"Yeah, so, who?" Ikari was tired, or just lazy, or something. He definitely has much free time since he's trying to get into Zaizen's love life, he could do any other thing like working or flirting with his young wife or playing with his daughter.

"Son of a bitch."

"So you are, our mother is the same after all." Or, Zaizen thought, he's just a simple fucktease, yes, that simple fucktease.

Zaizen cursed his family for being genius, or have a brain to turn a curse back that is. "Why do you care?"

"I'm bored."

"…"

"What?"

"If you weren't bored you won't asking me this?"

Ikari tapped his chin, "I won't?"

Zaizen got up from the couch, went somewhere, and returned with stack of papers. He placed the papers on the table along with pen, then sat back, "Get a life then, Ikari."

"My works…your bastard."

"Smart ass," he corrected.

That night, Ikari learned that both him and his brother are really annoying. And smart ass.

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When Kenya appeared at Zaizen's door one morning, Ikari asked the Naniwa Speed Star a question that Koharu would like to know the answer as well, "Do you know who is Hikaru-chan's crush?"

And Kenya's response was; "He have one?"

And Zaizen's response was throwing tennis balls on his brother's head, "I kill your brain cells."

"Margareta!!" Ikari wailed then ran inside the house.

Kenya blinked, "Margareta? I thought your sister-in-law's name is Nanase?"

"No, Maragareta is one of his brain cells, I just killed her. He killed Miguel few days ago."

"Miguel?"

"My brain cell that he killed with news paper, poor Miguel. He killed Amrita and Clara too, and…"

"I'm not listening." Kenya cut in, deciding that a mere dumb like him will never understand what a genius is talking about.

Zaizen seemed to be upset that Kenya wasn't interested in hearing about his beloved brain cells, and Kenya just shot him his dumb look which made him even more dumb that he already is.

"I will kill Lucio tonight, Hikaru-chan! I will!!" Ikari shouted from inside.

Kenya tilted his head, "Do your family has a tradition of naming a brain cell or something? Or this is a general knowledge to every genius in the world to name a brain cell? But Yuushi never tell me anything about his brain cells."

Zaizen shrugged and slipped into pairs of shoes, "Ignore him, I will protect Lucio tonight and I will kill his precious Kaguya."

"You're not answering my question," Kenya pointed out. Zaizen gave him a look that said 'you wouldn't want to know' so Kenya shrugged back and walked out of the house. The two decided to jog until school. On his way, Kenya thought how could Zaizen talked about something so dumb and not-so-Zaizen-ish with same blank and bored face he showed every day.

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A/N : That was the first chapter, so, I NEED A BETA, REALLY. What do you think? I appreciate your comments and such, especially reviews, let me know what you think? I hope I can convert you into a fan of KenZai or any Shitenhouji canon for that matter because Shitenhouji needs love, seriously.

Review or Zaizen will kill your brain cells and Yukimura will do something horrible to you. Oh, I don't believe in Tezuka's wrath when Yukimura can do better /runs from angry Tezuka