Disclaimer: From beginning to end, I don't own these characters.
I was wrong the night before when I had thought that waiting for Alice and Jasper had been the longest time of my life. Waiting for Bella to come out of her house was even more nerve-wracking.
Jasper had called me to tell me that Alice had successfully gotten Bella up and now they were on the road to Seattle. Sighing heavily I gave Jasper permission to tell Alice everything, just so long as she didn't call Bella until I was through talking to her. I didn't want Alice to be mad at me anymore.
I parked in front of Bella's house about ten minuets early. I waited in the car for as long as I could.
At ten thirty I began to debate with myself whether I should go and knock on the door. I had seen Bella look out the window five minuets earlier; she knew I was there. I decided just to wait for her to come out on her own.
I did, however, get out of the car and lean on it, waiting for Bella. I had a feeling that if I stayed in it too long I would chicken out and just leave.
Five minuets later Bella came out of the house. This was not the Bella that I had seen in the past week, the excited and happy girl who was obviously dressed by Alice. Today Bella had her hair pulled back in her usual ponytail. She was wearing her same old pair of jeans and a read t-shirt with a picture of a girl wearing glasses on it that said, 'reading is sexy.' Had it been another occasion I may have laughed.
I tried to smile at Bella, but she just looked at me blankly then looked at her shoes.
I couldn't stop my wince. She looked so sad. I was mad that I was the reason she was so upset.
I opened the door for her and Bella walked past me as if I wasn't there. She spent the entire car ride trying to pretend that she was somewhere else. She never said anything, just stared out the window.
Several times I almost said something, unable to bear the sadness that was hanging around Bella. But, I had my plan and I was going to stick to it. If Bella wanted to talk then I would, but If she remained quiet then I had a better chance of this working out the way I wanted it to.
Of course, if I listened to what my father said then I already knew that it wouldn't work out exactly the way I planned. But hopefully it would be close enough.
As Bella and I walked up the familiar trail I began to re-think my earlier plan. Maybe by saying nothing I was putting unnecessary distance between us. Maybe I was only making things worse.
Occasionally I would gesture to something in an attempt to bring Bella's attention to whatever it was. She would look at it blankly and my heart would sink. An hour of unbearable silence and another hour still to go. Maybe I should have just talked to her in the car.
The first time I had stumbled across my little path through the woods I had been careful enough to mark it. Bella leaned against the wooden guardrail that prevented people from falling down the steep side of the mountain while I searched for the small pile of rocks that I had wedged under some tree routes.
Once the main path was clear of other people I walked out into the forest, immediately feeling better. I turned to look at Bella who was staring at me like I was crazy. I smiled at her and beckoned her forward with my hand.
For a brief moment I hoped that she would take my hand as she walked out onto the trail, but she ignored it, focusing more on where the unclear path lead.
My hands twitched and ached to hold Bella's. As we talked through the more treacherous woods I waited for Bella to trip just so I could touch her for a brief moment. Bella seemed to be waiting to trip to, but instead of wanting me to catch her she seemed determined not to fall.
Again I began fighting with myself. I had come up with about ten reasons why Bella should hate me when I remembered my dad saying how I always overreacted.
I looked up to see the large fallen tree that told me just how close we were to the clearing. Bella looked confused and tired.
When we got to the edge of the clearing Bella no longer looked confused. She gasped and rushed out into the patch of purple flowers that had filled the open area. We were high enough that we had gotten past the fog and Bella was able to look up and see the sunlight steaming down on her. The vision was almost the exact opposite of the dream that I had had, but that didn't make it any less beautiful.
Bella closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sunlight. I heard her breath deeply and she smiled. Her face looked relaxed and happy, like everything that had happened hadn't.
I took a deep breath myself, unsure of what I was about to do, and walked out into the flowers. My skin prickled at the sunlight hit it.
I approached Bella and her eyes fluttered open. She was startled by just how close I was and I was momentarily concerned that she would fall over, but she managed to right herself.
I was terrified, but I knew what I had to do. Summoning every once of courage that I possessed I pulled Bella into me and kissed her.
She stood there for a moment, obviously just as startled as I had been the night before. But where Bella ran from my lack of reaction I kissed her harder, willing her to react in some way.
I got my wish when she suddenly fisted her hands into my hair, pulling me down to her. I snaked my arms around Bella's waist, the way I had held her in the alley in Port Angels. Then I pulled her closer. I felt like I couldn't ever get her close enough to me.
I begged her mouth to open under mine and she complied. This moment was so perfect that I had forgotten about all of the things that I still needed to say to her. Nothing mattered. Bella was in my arms. I was kissing her and, more importantly, she was kissing me back.
I felt her go limp in my arms but luckily I managed to tighten my grasp on her before she slid away from me. She continued to kiss me fiercely as I gently lowered us to the ground. I didn't want to risk either of us actually falling.
There we were in the middle of the woods. We clung to each other like the world was about to end. We knelt there, may hands trailing up and down Bella's back, Bella's hands still fisted in my hair. I wanted to keep us there forever, locked in that perfect moment, but I knew that there was still just too much to be said.
I tried to back away in order to regain some kind of composure. Bella wasn't having any of that. As I moved to sit back on my legs Bella moved forward with me, straddling my hips.
For a moment any thoughts of logical conversations flew away. I wrapped an arm around Bella's waist to pull her closer and twisted my other hand into her hair, pulling out the elastic band that held it in place and allowing it to fall across her shoulders.
I pulled her down closer. I couldn't get her close enough. I momentarily worried that I was being far too forceful with her, but then I remembered that Bella was the one sitting on top of me and at the moment she probably had more control over the situation than I did. I let it got and allowed myself to be content where I was.
"Bella," I tried to say as she kissed me. "Do you—think we could—talk?"
Bella pulled away from me and looked down at me. She looked so beautiful in that moment, her hair disheveled, her eyes wild.
"No," she shook her head. I practically forgot what I was going to say when she pulled me to her again in another kiss.
After a minuet I pushed her back, needing to talk. "Why?"
"Because," Bella's voice shook, "if we stop then you are not going to let me kiss you anymore."
This didn't make sense. Didn't she understand? Did she think that I was just throwing her a bone? One look in her eyes told me that this was what she thought.
I couldn't help but smiled to myself. I guess dad doesn't know everything about girls either.
I pulled her down to me again. She gripped onto me tightly. I was thankful for this as I gently tipped her backwards into the grass. Bella clung to my shoulders, trying to pull me with her but I placed either hand on her shoulders and pushed myself away from her. By holding her down I also managed to prevent her from trying to kiss me again.
I smiled down at her, trying to let her know that everything was going to be okay. "How about if we talk and I promise to let you kiss me again later?"
I could see the thoughts going through Bella's mind. Maybe now my statement would make sense to her. Or not.
She nodded sadly and I sat back, allowing her to sit up in the grass.
I tried to make eye contact with her, but Bella kept her eyes trained on the purple flowers that were growing all around us. She twisted one back and forth between her fingers.
I sighed. "Bella, I am so sorry about last night."
"You don't have to be," she mumbled so quietly that I almost couldn't hear her. "It was all my fault."
"No, Bella, don't you understand?" I grabbed her shoulders. She reluctantly met my eyes. "It was my fault."
She looked at me like I was placating her. "No, I'm pretty sure that was all me."
I felt bad. How could she blame herself for this? "No, Bella let me explain. You have to see that—you startled me last night! I was not expecting you to do that. And I was so shocked that—I froze. I'm sorry," I pleaded with her.
"It was a legitimate reaction, Edward." She shrugged my hands off of her shoulders. "If someone that I didn't have those kinds of feeling about tried to kiss me—"
"What?" I had to stop her. "You think that I don't have feelings for you?" Really, thinking that I may have been confused about my feelings or changed them is one thing, but after all of this, after what I just said, could she really still think that I didn't love her?
"We're just friends, Edward. You've said so yourself a million times."
I swore, closing my eyes. Then I started laughing. Of course, my brilliant plan to make Bella feel comfortable around me by becoming her friend had backfired. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky, still laughing. "Oh my god."
"What?" Bella sounded confused.
I looked back at her and smiled. "Nothing. I'm just laughing at myself."
"Care to fill me in on the joke?"
"We seem to be misinterpreting each other Bella. Although how you managed to convince yourself that I didn't have feelings for you is mindboggling. In the last week I must have said it more times than I can count. I felt like I was screaming it at you. And you honestly had no idea?"
"You have feelings for me? More than platonic feelings? Since when?" She looked at me like I was insane. She still didn't believe me.
"Since the first time you snapped at me for being rude to you in class." I smiled as I brought back the memory of our first interaction. "You were the first girl besides Rose who didn't put up with my crap. It shocked me, and I liked it. It shocked me that I liked it."
"It didn't stop you from being a jerk," she muttered.
"Of course it didn't. It meant that I had to put my guard up even more. I told you, I wanted you to be different, but I couldn't convince myself that you were. I was just waiting for you to turn into one of those horrible shallow girls. If I let myself like you then I would end up worse off than ever."
"But I wasn't like the other girls," she lead me.
"No, you weren't. Every time I saw you you became more and more frustrating. Smarter, kinder, sweeter. You were tearing my life apart and part of me hated you for that. You have to understand, Bella, before you came along I had never so much as glanced at another girl. You became all that I could think about. And then that night at the movies." I remembered the way that Bella had looked in the glow of the theater. "The very fact that you were there made me want you. I'd never wanted anyone before. It's very confusing the first time around."
"Tell me about it," she mumbled. "Especially when the person that you want is being a distant jerk."
I smiled and reached up to touch Bella's hair. My fingertips trailed down the side of her face and I could not stop myself from cupping her jaw.
"I told you that I was sorry for that," I said quietly.
She leaned her cheek into my hand. "I know."
I ran my thumb across her delicate cheekbone. "You are so beautiful," I commented, relieved that I could finally say it out loud.
Bella's face turned scarlet.
"Even more so when you do that." I sighed again. The need to apologize had returned. "I am so sorry for making you upset last night. I felt like a complete ass."
"Yes you were," she said playfully.
I laughed. "So now do you believe that I have feelings for you?"
"No," Bella shook her head. "Now I'm convinced that I am asleep. I have to be dreaming this."
I slid my hand around to the back of her head and leaned into her. "Well, then I guess it's my job to awaken the fair princess."
I kissed her gently, much closer to the way that she had kissed me the night before.
"Are you awake yet?" I whispered against her lips.
"No," Bella giggled.
She fisted her hands into my hair again and pulled me down onto her. She fell back into the grass, pulling me down on top of her.
We separated, both laughing. "God I love you," I said without thinking. It just seemed like such a natural thing to say at that moment,
"What?" Bella's eyes bulged out of her head.
I leaned down closer to her. "I love you," I repeated hovering my lips just inches away from her.
"Since when?" Bella asked in a shaky voice.
"Since that night first night at my apartment. You said my name in your sleep."
Bella turned red. Her face looked a little upset.
"You had to pick one of the more embarrassing moments of my life?" she asked.
I smiled down at her, thinking about how silly she was. "It was the one of the best moments of my life." I began stroking the side of her face again. "Hearing you say my name, knowing that you were dreaming about me, it forced me to admit that I had feelings for you. If you hadn't I may have gone on ignoring how I felt."
"Well, we couldn't have that, now could we?" Bella giggled giggled.
"Well, just so you don't feel left out, I love you to," she said plainly, as if it was some boring fact.
I rolled my eyes at her lack of emotion while inside my heart was doing somersaults from her words. "Glad to hear it."
She smiled up at me and once more pulled me down into a passionate kiss.
So I may do an epilouge, but I don't know whether to do it from Edward's or Bella's POV. Thoughts? I have about eight other stories that I am currently working on, so if I do decide to write one it may take a little while
I hope you enjoyed my little story and hopefully I will have something new to put up soon.
Thanks for reading! :)