A/N: Readers beware! This story is completely pointless, utterly ridiculous, and seriously crude! It's a strangely fascinating idea that came into my head this morning, and has nagged me to the point of causing me to post it. If you'd rather not know what is going on in the head's of the students of Hogwarts, then stop reading now! But, if you want a glimpse of the inner most thoughts of our favourite characters, then read on and see what really goes on inside our favourite school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Not all of these students were at Hogwarts at the same time, but they were all there at some point or another, and they all attended school with the creators of the journal…whether it be as peers, teachers, or otherwise.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything you recognize, including characters, plot points, settings, and scenes from the Harry Potter series, belong to JK Rowling.

By the light of the dying fire in the common room, the pages of the journal flipped quietly. The silence was interrupted only by the periodic eruption of laughter from those reading, as the deepest, darkest secrets of the inhabitants of Hogwarts were unveiled…

The Journal of Truth

Welcome all who enter. Please state your name, and divulge your utmost secrets.

Draco Malfoy

When I first came to Hogwarts—first day of first year—the Sorting Hat told me I wasn't cunning enough to be a Slytherin. It wanted to put me in Hufflepuff. HUFFLEPUFF! My father would have had a fit!

I begged it to put me in Slytherin. Although the exchange only lasted seconds, for a moment I thought I was going to be stuck in that ruddy awful excuse for a House. I threatened it. I told the bloody shredded up piece of rubbish that I'd destroy any and all Mudbloods in the Hufflepuff house should it place me there.

It agreed, because it didn't want to take that chance.

I think it knew I was bluffing, though.

Cedric Diggory

Cho Chang drives me mad. And not in a good way, either.

She's mentally unstable, I'm sure of it.

The only reason I asked her to the stupid Yule Ball was because I knew Harry wanted her. He's so obvious. But I couldn't let him beat me again. After that display on a broomstick with the Hungarian Horntail…call me a sore loser, but I wanted to win back a bit of pride.

He won anyway. I think she prefers him.

Merlin knows why.

The specks? The hair?

I know I'm better looking than that!


Harry Potter's feet smell really, really bad.

He's always giving Dobby gifts for special occasions. Christmas, Easter, summer holidays…and sometimes just to be nice.

Dobby really does appreciate it, honest. But sometimes Dobby just wishes Harry Potter would give him something other than mouldy old gym socks. Of course, Dobby does not question the motives of Mr. Harry Potter. He is far nobler and more brilliant than Dobby could ever hope to be.

But still…

Those sock fumes are really starting to make Dobby sick.

Percy Weasley

I think I'm in love with Myrtle.

Moaning Myrtle.

I find her so captivating.

She hangs around in the Prefects' bathroom quite a lot, and she's told me the most fascinating stories. She knows Hogwarts better than any of the students…and I'd wager she knows more about the castle than at least half of the teachers. I think knowledge is just so important in a woman. Plus, her skin is so translucent and flawless…

She's so intriguing that I find myself running off to the lavatory while I should be studying…or patrolling the halls.

Penelope thinks I've got a nasty case of the trots. She's been avoiding me lately.

I prefer it to her knowing the truth.

I only hope Myrtle doesn't tell her about that night she floated into the tub with me…

A/N: Yeah…absolutely no idea what compelled me to do this…But I'm sure there will be more to come when another bought of insanity hits me!