I stared down at my hands patently, following the patterns of all the different lines that crossed them. My mother sat next to me, breathing hysterically, she tried to take deep breaths to calm her self, but failed, instead it got worse. I took her hand in mine and forced myself to smile at her. It seemed to help a bit.
I still really couldn't realize that this was real, that it was really me that was sitting in this small, too white waiting room. I, a normal girl, who had lived such a normal life. I'd gone to high school and I was a pretty good student, I wasn't the most popular girl in school but I had two close friends that I loved and had fun with. I loved to read, I had read every Shakespeare and Jane Austen that existed. A normal life. But of course, that was before. Before this thing came down and ruined my pretty happy subsistence. Before I got cancer.
Today was going to be a turning point, in one way or an other. Either I was going to go home happy, knowing that the disease was going to disappear, knowing that the treatments had done it right. Or, the cancer would have dispersed, and I would not know what was going to happen, only that it would get worse. I forced my self to think positive, but it was hard. I had no idea of how it was with me.
"Bella Swan," a male voice called, it was my doctor. My mom squeezed my hand, and we followed him.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news," the doctor said when we arrived to his room.
I froze waiting for the pain to come.
"The cancer has dispersed. It's in a really big part of your stomach. I would say that you have a month more to live. Of course, there's always a bit hope, the treatments may help, but we don't want to make things look like they're better than they really are. I'm sorry."
It was like the time stopped, I couldn't really believe it. Then suddenly, it restarted and became so fast that the whole room was spinning. My whole world, that I had lived in for 17 years, changed, crashed, right in that moment.
I heard my moms' painful, hysterical scream.
High school. I sighed. All those happy people with their happy lives. Not knowing that it all can end, any minute. That you can loose all the people you love in a second. I thought about my mum, my dad, my family, my friends. All the people that surrounded me, I was never going to see them again. I thought about mum, in what big pain she was in. I wished that I could take that with me in death, and leave her happy with the rest of our family.
I was thinking about how I should tell Alice and Jacob. It would hurt them so much and I didn't know if I could stand seeing them suffering. Mr Banner interrupted my thoughts, by starting the class. I realized that there was someone who sat next to my place. I didn't look up, just sat down. I wasn't going to get to know more persons now; I would only end up hurting them later.
Today, apparently we should work in pairs of two.
"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen", my neighbour said.
I turned around to look at him. It shocked me when I saw him.
He was extremely beautiful. He had pale skin and beautifully shaped lips that seemed incredibly soft. His bronze colored hair was all messy, it looked extremly sexy.
And his eyes.
They were a shade of green whom I had never seen before, like when the sunlight is able to come through a dense grove of trees and give the trees a more distant kind of green.
- Um..Bella.. I managed to stammer out like an idiot with speech impediment
I can't say I didn't try to come up with something to say, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him and I worried that if I would say something I would probably sound like a retard.
I have to admit..I was mesmerized.