Dear Harry.

I know you're probably going to be disappointed, but remember I know what you and uncle Ron got up to when you guys were in school. So keep that in mind as I tell you that I was in detention last night. Well I was actually in it all week, and I suppose I best tell you that I'm in it all next week as well. Professor McGonagall expressed her disappointment personally to me as she handed out the fortnight of detentions with varying members of staff. It's nice that she finds time in her busy schedule of running the school to give little old me some detention. I mean she really shouldn't bother herself. I really wouldn't mind.

See I'm cheering you up after all that groaning and moaning about me being just as troublesome as my parents. Or maybe it brought you back from your little jaunts into the past and clogging up your brain with memories. Really you've gone soft in your old age! And you a hardened Auror! Please!

Anyway, back to the point.

I was doing detention - oh wait, I suppose your Godfatherly duties are kicking in, (why can't you be like Robert Greyson's godparents and just send a slab of Honeydukes chocolate every month?). Yeah so I suppose you want to know what I was in detention for? Well Kevin Laverty had it coming. That Slytherin toad was wreaking havoc as usual with the first years who were going into Herbology while we waited to go to Magical Care of Creatures. (Neville and Hagrid both send their love. I'll pass no comment on the love sharing between two men. Neville wants to know if his cloak is at Ron's house and Hagrid's found a new recipe for a treacle pie. I've had some, don't worry, it doesn't taste like cement anymore.) Anyway, he was picking on Victoire, as per usual because he's an idiot and doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to matters of the Weasley's. So I may have set a curse on him. I was going to try that Bat Boogie Hex that aunt Ginny taught me but I couldn't remember how she does it so I just settled on turning his nose green. And well I might have got it wrong and it may have exploded a tiny bit. But that's just details. Anyway, Hagrid was all set for turning a blind eye, but Lavertymilked it as usual. Rolling around on the ground between the greenhouses and Hagrid's hut in "agony" as Hagrid told him that it must've been a reaction to the pollen air. That didn't really go down well. Laverty went off on one and said he would get his parents to complain and that Hagrid would be fired. What a load of rubbish, as if his parents have that much power! Then Hagrid had to report it, and I don't really blame him I mean he needs to eat, even it is his inedible concoctions. I can't have his job on my conscience.

Well we are well off our point now! And see, you've wriggled the gossip out of me again. But I suppose Neville would've told you anyway if he ever remembered to write to you. Anyway, so I was passed around like a sick baby until I was cleaning the trophies in the store room and found some interesting stuff! So this is my question. How is there commending merits to both you and uncle Ron? They're dated when you pair were in my year at school. How haven't I heard this story? I mean I think I've heard every other single story on the planet but not this one.

So that's it, I better go before this rivals the length of my history of magic essay. Who cares about the trolls? Why can't we just skip until the whole war bit? I would be brilliant at that part. I wouldn't really mind writing a 15 inch essay on that, at least it's a bit more interesting than Ugg The Ugly's reign of terror a million years ago.

Tell everyone I said hey.



Dear Teddy.

It's a long story and I'll tell you when you get home for the holidays. I'm using my "Godfatherly duties" as you call them to tell you to stop messing around and focus on your school work. You shouldn't really be going around and hexing people, telling a teacher would probably have been more appropriate. But I suppose where's the fun in that?

I knew a person just like this Laverty person when I was at school. Don't worry about him too much. It's good that you're looking out for Victoire but please try and do it without landing yourself into so much trouble. I'll see you in a few weeks.

Everyone says hey back.