Gap Teeth and Blue Hair
(A/N): I don't own any Ed, Edd, n' Eddy characters. That would be pretty awesome though.
"All right fellows..." Double D said to his two closest friends. "Just sit down. There's something I need to tell you." The gang known as the Eds were in Eddy's room after completing another Friday at school. Ed, the lanky free spirit, was lying on Eddy's bed casually reading a comic book and Eddy, the shorter businesslike friend, was sitting on a chair in anticipation. Double D was pacing back and forth, because what he had to say was definitely going to jar them.
"You're coming out aren't you?" Eddy jested at his friend's expense. Double D sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Oh come on sockhead, its ok. I kinda always had a feeling you were. That reminds me, Ed you owe me five bucks". Ed didn't look up.
"Eddy, I'm not homosexual. And that's a terrible thing to bet on!" Double D scolded his friend complete with a wagging finger. Eddy snickered in response. Eddward took a deep breath and went over to the edge of the bed and sat down. "Ed, Eddy, you two are my best friends, and um...." Double D struggled with getting this information out. Eddy arched a brow. Whatever was going on with his friend was serious. All week, Double D had been distant, he was rarely home and the times that Eddy and Ed saw him, he seemed tired and nervous. On the way home from school, Double D pulled his two friends aside and told them he had something urgent to tell them. The ski cap wearing teen sat up and faced his comrades.
"Ok, here it goes." He said clasping his hands. "As I'm sure you two are aware, puberty can be a trying period for males. With all the new physical changes, such as growth spurts and acne, we're also bombarded with mental changes as well. We think of things differently and we change the beliefs we had as children. Puberty also changes the way we interact with others. It makes us more competitive with males…and makes us notice…females."
"Got that right!" Eddy retorted, following it with a session of laughter.
"That being said, I have found myself under puberty's spell, and its effects." Double D took another breath and started twittering with his hands. "And I've…started…a relationship with…a girl" Ed looked up from his comic, and Eddy's incessant giggling stopped. His friends were split in their reaction to Double D's news. Eddy had a huge grin, but Ed had a look of fright and shock on his face. Ed jumped up from his inert position on the bed and toward his intelligent friend. He grasped Eddward in a huge bear hug and started ranting like a madman.
"Double D no! You can't get into a relationship! What if she's a succubus come from the bowels of Hades to drain the life of Earth's male population?!" Ed sobbed and gripped Double D tightly as he struggled to get away.
"Ed, come now." Double D responded as he broke free from Ed's hug. "We're 16 and you've got to get past this phobia of girls."
"Yeah Lumpy, be happy! Our buddy is finally getting some action!" Eddy shouted with joy wrapping his arms around the necks of Double D and Ed. "Tell me, how far did you get?! Second base? Third? Tell me you got far, Sockhead!"
Eddward worked his way out from his friend's hold and regained his composure. He looked at Eddy with the perverted smile plastered on his face. Ed however was pouting. Double D was amazed at the fact that the trio were well into their teens, but Ed and Eddy were acting like the children he's known since he was two.
"Eddy, this is hard enough for me without entertaining your schoolboy fantasies." Eddy scoffed at Double D's defense. In response, Eddy grabbed his pal by the shoulders and started shaking him.
"What's so hard about having a girlfriend? Come on, man tell us everything! Tell us!" He shouted excitedly as the force of his shaking sent both him and Double D to the ground. Taking advantage of this situation, he pinned Eddward's arms to the ground. Double D tried shouting to be let up, but Eddy just grinned. "I'll let you up if you tell me one thing about this new girl." Eddy gasped as he realized who Double D's new paramour was.
"You dog! You're dating Nazz aren't you?!" He shouted happily. Double D struggled, but Eddy had been working out recently and had a very tight grip.
"It isn't Nazz, Eddy!" The poor boy pleaded. Ed looked over at his friends on the ground and joined in on the conversation.
"It can't be Sarah, she still hates boys, cept for Jimmy…wait is Jimmy a boy?" Ed rambled as his friends continued their argument.
"Monobrow's got a point, Double D. It's got to be Nazz!" Double D bit his lip. He had hoped to talk this out in civilized manner, but he should've known his best friends wouldn't allow that. Eddy kept demanding information, each word being pounded onto Eddward's face with a drop of saliva. Double D couldn't take it anymore. If he was ever going to tell them, it was now.
"It's Marie all right?!" Double D shouted, finding a new source of strength and pushing Eddy off of him. "I'm dating Marie Kanker!"
Silence filled the room. Double D brought his knees to his chest and hunched his shoulders. Ed, paralyzed by what he heard, fell to the ground and covered his head with his hands. Eddy, with a huge bruise forming on the back of his head, literally started foaming at the mouth. He looked at his friend with absolute rage in his eyes.
"Kanker?!" He shouted. "You're dating a Kanker?! Are you insane?!" The three Eds each got up from the floor and stared at one another. Feeling the pressure from his pals, Double D did his best to rationalize his recent behavior.
"Eddy, you have to understand." He began, trying to get his friend to calm down. He took both Eddy and Ed's shoulders and led them over to the bed and sat them down. "It's true; the three of us have a…history of sorts with the Kanker sisters. And trust me; I was skeptical when I first thought of being with Marie. But during the last week, I've gotten to know her, and believe me when I say that there is more to meet the eye when it comes to Marie Kanker."
Eddy scowled. Double D was supposed to be the smart one. Why in the world would he want to be with one of the girls that made their childhood a living hell? Sure she was attractive, but to Eddy, she was like her sister May and Lee; foul-mannered, mean-spirited stalkers who smell like motor oil and cheap perfume. Even Ed knew that being single was better than being with one of those trailer park vixens.
"So what?" Eddy questioned. "You want to marry her? Want to drop out of school and have kids with gap teeth and blue hair?" The short squat teen crossed his arms looked away from his traitor of a friend.
"Eddy, it's just a simple relationship. I like her, she obviously likes me. It's only logical that the two of us be together." This made Eddy fume even more. Ed, finally grasping the situation, came up with the question on everyone's mind.
"How did this happen, Double D?"
"Good question!" Eddy responded to Ed's query. Double D got up from the bed and stroked his chin.
"Well, I guess this all began this previous Sunday. I'll start from the beginning."
Next Chapter- "Sunday, Muddy Sunday"