Disclaimer, I own nothing.
The Funeral for Gordon Freemen was perhaps the Grandest of all time.
Many people came, Many people cursed the cruel and unforgiving God that had decided that Gordon's time had come, and all wept.
They had to put a limit on just how many flowers could be placed on his grave, lest the grave be hidden from sight.
Everyone there was armed with a plant of some kind, with the small exception of Barney who was armed with a battered old Crowbar.
When the Funeral was all over, and nearly everyone had gone back to their homes, Barney knelt down on Freemen's Grave, tears running down his face.
"damn it Gordon why'd you do it? Why the hell did you have to go and die on me man, you still owe me that beer, I beat you fair and square in that contest to see who could get into Kleiner's Office fastest.
Barney waited to see if perhaps the spirit of his dead friend would arise to tell or show him one last thing before he finally went off to heaven, Hell even if his dead friend just came back to flip him off one last time, it still would have been good, least that way he would know whether or not there really was a place for the soul to go to after its body had died.
"Not really your fault I Suppose," Grumbled Barney after it appeared that no great message and he sat back down against the Gravestone still crying, "I Mean how were you supposed to know the idiot Scientists who invented the HEV suit didn't put a Limit to how Much Morphine the Damn Suit could give you all at once."
"Well I hope your in Paradise like the Preacher's say you are Buddy, cause you sure deserve a Paradise, after all the crap you had to put up with."
Barney Put the Crowbar Down on the Grave, and walked off to find the nearest Bar.
Meanwhile up in Heaven.
Gordon Freemen was sitting down in beach chair under an Umbrella on a beautiful beach, that could make even the most hardcore of men weep with joy, at such a sight, smiling a cheerful little smile, and lapping up the milk of Broken in half coconut through rainbow colored straw, God had came to Gordon himself and asked what kind of Paradise he wanted and this was it.
Gordon had been to Hawaii once before, and that had been the very definition of Paradise to him, that was before this, God had made the Hawaii he'd known before look and and smell like the most horrid Cesspit in the Galaxy, this Heavenly equivalent was enough to make even the most Cold Hearted Combine Soldier weep with joy
"Ahhh Life sure is Lovely up here in Heaven isn't it Magnusson my good friend." he chirped, The Scientist of whom he was addressing had no Reply, or at least if he had a reply it wasn't heard probably do to the Scientist's Head Being stuck up the ass of an absolutely hideous Camel who was looking extremely uncomfortable.
"No worries at all, no need to worry about pesky little details such as, Oh I don't know Maybe, PUTTING LIMITS ON CERTAIN THE MORPHINE INJECTORS IN HAZARDAS ENVIRONMENT SUITS!" he said that least bit coming out as shout and he got up and Kicked the old Scientist right between the legs.
Gordon sat back down in his Chair and watched amused as a Sea Gull flew over and began to peck at Magnusson's backside.
Gordon sat back in his chair took yet another sip at his drink, than let out a contented sigh, This Truly was Paradise.
So tell me what you think good, bad, What?