Title: No Alternative

Style: Oneshot, crackfic.

Another boring day today. The internet at home crashed. I've sat and flicked through every channel on TV and found nothing even remotely interesting. A few reruns of episodes I've already watched. After a long time of mindless flicking, I stare mesmerised at the TV screen, watching an episode of Oprah. I'm vaguely aware that it's something to do with a woman with issues concerning... only God knows what.

I stare longingly at the laptop sitting on the table. Closed. Off. Begging me to be used. Then I look at the internet modem, and notice the that the internet bulb is flickering violently, meaning: the internet's not working.

I called my dad earlier that morning, whilst he was still at work, told him that it was down. He said he'd send someone over to take a look at it... It's been a few hours, and I'm so bored out of my mind, it's not even funny.

I think of things to entertain me. Books? I've read them all. Drawing? I'm not in the mood. Playing games off my brother's PS2... too bad for me, he's hogging it.

"I'm in the mood for team deathmatch, let's play," I said.

"Just... let me finish this, I'll call you when I'm done," he replied.

Yeah, bullshit.

Play with my dog? No, he's sleeping on the couch next to me. The bastard.

My eyes wander over to the laptop again. It looks like it lacks something... oh yeah, me. I think of the things I could be doing; watching some funny videos on Youtube, or follow up on somethings in fandom. Check out my Myspace, or Facebook. Even chat online. But no. There's no internet today.


I now have the laptop on my laps, and I've turned it on. I know I have nothing to do, but I did it anyways. Maybe some miracle will happen and the internet will start working again. The main screen is now staring back at me. I click on Start and browse through the programmes. I hover the mouse over the Games, and take a look at them. Solitaire? Nah, too easy. Spider Solitaire? Takes too long. Minesweeper? Oh, God... I can't resist. I click it.

It's automatically set on Beginner, and the boxes are all aligned asking me to click them as Smiley ... smiles. I begin clicking without thought, clicking on various boxes only to release a cluster of ones, twos, and an occasional three. So, now I have a limited amount of boxes left to chose from. I pick a random one.

Shit. A mine.

I figure, what the hell. And click on the supposed dead Smiley, to start up a new minefield.

Again I begin clicking randomly only to be killed off by a damn mine, yet again. I scrunch up my face in annoyance. I retry and retry various times, but I keep killing off Smiley.

I'm playing a game that I'm completely oblivious to the rules. I refuse to read them, hoping that one day by miracle chance, I'll finally understand the game's rules. My mind wanders off to memories as I (again) am clicking at random boxes.

"Why don't you just read the rules?" my brother said, popping his head from behind my door, after hearing my frustrated scream.

"I wanna figure this shit out for myself!" I reply annoyed, and wave a dismissive hand at him.

That was always our conversation, whenever I was busying myself with Minesweeper.

My eyes widen as I look at the minefield and notice there's less boxes to click than I have had the chance of ever doing. I count them. Precisely eleven left. I bite my bottom lip, and lean forward in anticipation. This could be the first time I ever win this godforsaken game!

Ok, calm down. Think before you click anything. I look at a cluster of threes and twos, and deduct that maybe clicking something around them would set off the mines, so I hurriedly flag them. I've flagged about six spaces, and am at a loss at the other five. Some look so tempting to click, especially those being surrounded by ones.

Again, I don't know the rules of the game, so there might be a mine next to the ones, as much as there might be a mine next to a three. Should I click the one that looks the least intimidating? Where one box is surrounded by three ones? The mouse is hovering on the said spot, and I contemplate clicking it.

I do a quick scan over the entire minefield, to see if anywhere looks less intimidating. But I find none. My brows furrow. I look at my score, pretty good, and the clock is ticking. Smiley forvever smiles. I press down on the box, but I don't release the hold. Now Smiley's face is contorted as his mouth has shaped a perfect 'o'.

Do you know something Smiley? Is it a mine? Or am I safe?

After much postponed release. I finally lift my finger off the left mouse key.

My jaw drops.

My eyes widen.

My fists clench.

My first thought, fuck this.

... and I shut the laptop.

Author's Note: I know, this is totally random, but when inspiration hits you, you have to do something about it! Really, I'd love to credit my wonderful LJ friend, Jess, for this. If she never posted an entry of what people write on this site, this idea would've never come to me, haha. Reviews? Please?

Disclaimer: I very obviously do not own Minesweeper... really... I don't know why I bother writing these.