I'm a good person. I have friends, hobbies. I'm a hero, leader of the Teen Titans actually. So that makes me one of the good guys. So I keep telling myself.

That all changed recently. Lines have blurred. Last week, Slade kidnapped me, and he's forcing me to work for him. He planted nanoprobes in my friend's bodies, and he'll kill them if I don't do as he says.

Asshole.

But last night, it got more complicated than that. Last night, he raped me. And I cried. We've fought with staffs, fists, boomerangs, and he's beaten me bloody numerous times. I never cried. I'm a hero, and heroes don't cry.

When he saw the tears, he told me, "You're pretty when you cry." And something inside me broke when he said that. No one ever tells me I'm attractive, no one wants me, well, maybe Star does.

But in that moment; when he was holding me helpless beneath him, something changed.

I wanted him, more than anything else. And I hate myself for it.

He's a villian, he's evil, I know this from all our battles. He's using me, threatening my friends, and probably trying to take over the world.

I wonder what my friends would say if they knew I was sleeping with the devil.

BB: DUUUUDE!!!!
Star: You are both resting?
Cy: I know you're not talking about Slade, uh-uh, (etc)
Rae: You... and... Slade....

Heh, yeah, they'd probably say something like that. And Cy would begin running scans to see what was wrong with me.

Last night, Slade came to me again. He held me down, blindfolded me, and I know he removed his mask. I know he did because he kissed me. All over, again and again. He kissed me, and I kissed back.

Then, this morning when I woke up; there he was, sleeping next to me. Without his mask. My movements must have disturbed him, because he woke up. We didn't say anything, but I took off my mask.

But just a few hours ago, my friends came to rescue me. I had to save them, or Slade would have killed them. So I did, and now I'm back in Titans Tower. They've all come to try and comfort me; here in the evidence room, the only place where I can be reminded of Slade nonstop.

No one suspects anything happened other than fighting, not even Star. And I'll never tell them. My life will go on as always, fighting Slade and other villians.

But it will never be the same.