Summary: I opened the sketchbook and gasped at what I saw. Drawings of me. One of me twirling my hair, one of me blushing, one of me biting my lip, one of me writing in my moleskine. There was also some text. The girl who invades my entire being…Wow Edward Cullen is just as obsessed with me as I am of him.
Portal To His Soul
Feels like a Dream
Red, crimson, cherry
Brown, chocolate, chestnut
Bronze, penny, shine
Hair in a disarray, blown by the wind
Run through by pale digits
Eyes, my portal to his soul
Emeralds in a forest full of green
Colors that swirl and change
Lustful and dark
Happy and bright
Lashes so black as ink that frame
Pale and smooth façade
Jaw strong yet graceful
Features to die for
A blessing and a curse
Crookedly he smiles
My heart beats an irregular rhythm
Cheeks pool with blood
Palms glisten with perspiration
His smell is of the sweetest honey
Musky and masculine
Flows through, such a calming sensation
Touch to touch
What feelings are this?
By Isa S.
"Bella! Hurry up were going to be late for school." My older brother Emmett yelled from downstairs. "I still have to pick up Rose and Jasper."
Rosalie Hale is my brother's girlfriend. I used to think she was a superficial bimbo by her blonde hair, blue eyes, and model body but she proved me wrong.
She is actually very down to earth and can play a guitar like it was made for her. In music she is more of a country meets rock kind of girl like Nickelback and Daughtry. I'm more into Evanescence and Paramore.
Jasper Hale, Rose's younger brother, is also very cool. He is sort of a emo, he also has the uncanny ability to sense other peoples emotion. He has blonde hair like his sister, but it has more of a sun kissed look. It falls over his eyes in a surfer style. His eyes are stormy grey that remind me of the ocean in a storm.
He can also rock a set of drums.
"I'm coming Em." I put my pen and red moleskine notebook into my vintage tan desert bag and took a quick look in the mirror.
Its not like I care about how I look since I'm plain. Wavy brown hair that goes to my elbows, brown eyes, and pale skin. I'm slim, but in my opinion I have no curves.
I just want to look into the mirror to make sure my new red streak is properly put in place so that it shows from my ponytail.
I grabbed my blue I-pod and clumsily made my way out of my room and down the stairs.
"Renee, Charlie." I acknowledge my parents with a nod and grabbed the breakfast bar Emmett held out to me.
My parents allow us to call them by their first names. Renee says it creates a stronger bond between parent and child. Renee is sort of a hippy and Charlie does almost anything Renee says.
"Marie." Renee kissed my cheek. She likes to call me Marie which is my middle name in memory of her mother Marie Abigail Swan. "Cart." She kissed Emmett's cheek next. She calls him Cart because his middle name is McCarty which is her maiden name.
I don't know why my mother calls us by our middle names. In my opinion I think she just had a little too much you-know-what back in the 70's.
Charlie gave us a his usual grunt in reply. My father is not much of a talker and tries his best to avoid uncomfortable situations like womanly problems and crying.
I know, my parents are eccentric.
"Come on Bells lets go." I followed Emmett outside and towards his red jeep. I climbed in the back seat and Emmett got into the front.
We buckled up and he pulled out of the driveway towards the Hale house. I put in my ear plugs and blasted Clocks by Coldplay. The song relaxes me and I need some relaxing since it's the start of my junior year at Forks High.
The Hale's only lived 5 minutes away so we got here in no time. Rose hopped in the front with Emmett and Jasper got in the back with me.
Rosalie was wearing a pale blue camisole, dark grey skinny jeans, and magenta pumps that showed a little bit of Rose's confident attitude. (pic on profile)
Jasper was wearing a Linkin Park tee, regular jeans, and black all-stars. (pic on profile)
I momentarily paused my I-pod. "Jasmine."
"Isaiah." He drawled with his country accent before putting on his purple I-pod.
He lost a bet with Emmett so he had to get a girly colored I-pod. It was either purple or pink.
I think he was wise with his choice. Rosalie lost that bet too and end up getting a pink one instead of red like she wanted.
Jasper and I have little nicknames for each other. He calls me 'Isaiah ' for Isabella and I call him 'Jasmine' for Jasper.
He's like a brother to me.
I pressed play on my blue I-pod and tried not to think about the new school year that is unfolding.
"Here Em." I handed him his black bag from the back.
We were parked in the parking lot at school hanging around the jeep until it was time to go to class.
"Thanks Bells." He ruffled my hair causing some of my brown locks to fall out of my ponytail.
Including my red streak, so now it was more of a red bang.
"Ugh Em, get you and your stupid shirt away from me."
Jasper held back a laugh which slipped out as a snort.
"This shirt is not stupid." He scoffed at me. "Is it Rosie, babe?"
"Of course not my monkey man." She walked over to him and kissed him sweetly. Which of course turned into something more.
"Ew. Lets go B, we definitely don't need to see our siblings swapping spit."
"I agree." I followed Jasper toward the school where we went into the office and got our schedules.
"School is like a black hole, a depression that takes over your mind and body." I recited as I looked over my schedule.
"Going moody again Isaiah?" Jasper asked me smirking.
"When was I ever not moody?"
We found out we had 3 classes together. Spanish II, Gym, and Art III.
"I can't wait for US History. I heard we were going to have a big project on the Civil War." Jasper said with a far away look in his eyes.
He was a major history buff, particularly the Civil War.
"I can't wait for my Creative Writing class." I absolutely love writing. When I get older I want to be a columnist or journalist of some sort.
The bell rang so I said goodbye to Jasper and headed off toward Trigonometry.
The first half of the day went uneventful. I talked to my friend Angela from last year and her boyfriend Ben during math.
In Spanish Jasper and I were probably the only people that knew what Ms. Goff was saying, since we actually paid attention in Spanish I last year.
I was at my locker getting my stuff ready for Art when a tiny pixie girl came bouncing up to me.
She had inky black hair that was spiked out in a cute way with a red headband that had a red bow on it to the side. Her green eyes were wide and lit up with excitement. What caught my attention was her interesting choice of clothing.
She had on a grey tunic that fit her small frame perfectly. Her legs were covered with yellow stockings and black pumps adorned her feet. She had a vintage looking black stone necklace around her neck and a thick black bangle around her left wrist. She had a huge red purse hanging from her thin shoulder. Her lips were cherry red and she was smiling at me.
Her clothing worked for her on someone else it would be too much.
I liked her already. She didn't seem to care what people thought of her.
"Hi I'm Mary Alice, but I go by Alice." She greeted in a chipper voice. "I just transferred here from Alaska where I was at a school for young designers. What's your name?"
I was shocked by her forwardness. People usually didn't talk to me, due to my interesting writing style and look.
I didn't mind, being ignored is better than everybody wanting to know more about you. There's really only one person I truly want to notice me…
"I'm Isabella Swan, you can call me Bella." I replied.
"Bella what a pretty name." I felt my face heat up which was normal for me. "Your blush is pretty too. Is that shirt vintage?" She asked pointing at my blouse which was slightly hidden by my grey zip-up.
"Oh I love vintage. If you can tell." She motioned toward her headband and jewelry. "And that red streak is so gothy meets rebel. It suits you."
"Thanks." I said tucking my streak behind my ear. "What class do you have next?"
"Me too." I decided to be bold and ask her something. "Why don't we walk together?"
I braced myself for the rejection that I would likely face.
"I'd like that." I smiled at her acceptance. "I can see us becoming great friends, Bella."
"Me too, Alice, me too." And I really did mean it.
When Alice and I walked into the art room I found Jasper sitting at one of the art tables with his head resting on his folded arms.
Typical Jasper, trying to shy away from attention.
"Come on, let me introduce you to my friend Jasper."
We walked over to him and I took the seat on his left while Alice took a seat on his right.
He lifted up his head when he heard us sit down.
He looked at Alice and then back at me confused. We usually didn't talk to many people. To much drama and wasted time, well that's what he says anyway.
"Alice this is my friend Jasper Hale. Jasper this is Alice."
Alice perked up when she looked at Jasper's face.
"You've kept me waiting." Alice said cryptically.
"I'm sorry ma'am." He drawled. I was shocked Jasper never accepts someone so easily. Not even me when we first met.
What the hell is going on here?
Alice and Jasper were looking at each other like they were in the desert for years and have finally found an oasis.
Mrs. Ploy, the art teacher, passed out a simple questioner that she said we didn't have to turn in. Art was going to be easy.
Since Peter Pan and Tinkerbell were staring off into each others eyes I pulled out my moleskine and started writing.
Short and spiky as they come
Porcelain doll with ruby lips
Eyes a sparkling jade
Full of energy and life
Bounces with each step
Fashionable and unique
Like me, goes by a different name
Separated from The Last Frontier
My new friend
And a new love of a friend?
Only J can say.
By Isa S.
I read over that one and smiled. Its perfect describing Alice.
Waiting, hidden meaning
Found, one another
Drawls, once hidden
Confusion, from outsiders
Everything has a story
This story is like gazing at the stars
When you find the right one
You just know…
By Isa S.
Just as I finished that one the bell rang, I quickly put away my stuff and stood waiting for Alice and Jasper. He was asking her if she wanted to sit with us at lunch.
"I would love to, but I have to text my brother first." She pulled out her cell and typed something real quick.
"Who's your brother?" I asked confused. Didn't she say she came from Alaska.
"I know what your thinking my brother didn't come with me to Alaska. I stayed with some relatives there. Edward wanted to stay in Forks. I don't know why though."
"Edward?" I started to hyperventilate. "As in Edward Cullen?"
"Yep." She nodded fervently. "Is that a problem?"
"Only--" I hit Jasper in the stomach before he could say anything. He was going to say 'Only that she is in love with him'.
He is my 'Feels Like a Dream' man. I have written many things about him in my moleskine.
Titles such as 'Crooked Lights' (his smile), 'Jaded Emeralds' (his eyes), 'Mind-Reader' (I don't really know why I titled it that he just seems like he could've been one), 'Bronzed Pennies' (his hair), and much more.
He's my envahisseur… (A/n It means Invader)
It may seem like I'm obsessed with him, but I can't help it. The first time I saw him he evaded my thoughts and dreams since then.
'Portals To His Soul' was the first thing I've written about him.
Edward is more of a tortured being in my opinion. People admire him for his beauty and masculinity, but in truth he doesn't seem to enjoy the spot light.
He was in my English class last year and I really think his perceptiveness of plays and books is astounding. He captivates me in everyway.
Maybe I am obsessed.
"What were you about to say Jazzy?" Alice asked batting her eyelashes.
"Yeah Jazzy what were you going to say." I said teasingly yet firm so he understood not to say anything stupid.
"Only…that um…you guys don't look a like." He finished lamely.
"They have the same port--I mean eyes." I almost slipped and said portals.
Great one Swan. I think my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me, it would explain so much, like my clumsiness and creative era.
See I just said era, who does that?
"Yea we do have the same eyes. Anyway lets go eat I'm starving." Alice skipped pasted us and toward the door.
We followed her out and down the hallways toward the cafeteria when I remembered something.
"Guys I'll meet you in the cafeteria, I have to drop off a book at the library." They waved at me as I made my way toward the library.
I walked up to Mrs. Anderson, the librarian, and placed the borrowed book on the desk.
"I'm here to return this."
She smiled at me and typed something on the computer. "All done. You can check out another book if you'd like."
I said my thanks to her and walked over to the classics section. I choose a book filled with famous poems and quotes from books and movies. It seem interesting.
As I was about to check out I saw a familiar head of bronze.
He was sitting at a table in the corner, furiously drawing in a sketchbook. He seems so entranced in his drawing. I was entranced by him.
He was drawing with his left hand (another unique thing about him) while his right ran through his hair.
How I wish I was those pale fingers…
His brows were furrowed in concentration and his lips were pursed in thought.
How I wish I was those thoughts that run through his head…
He was wearing a long sleeved grey shirt, light jeans, and grey converse. His black leather jacket was slung over the back of the wooden chair.
He was perfect…
Edward must of sense someone looking at him because his eyes lifted up and met mine.
I was frozen on the spot. It was like a magnetic pull traveled through our eyes and body. My face flushed, my heart banged against its confines, I couldn't think straight, and my hair band snapped open causing my tendrils to flow around me.
That was strange…
Something triggered within him and his eyes darkened with a well known emotion.
Lust…Surely not for me. Right?
I looked into his portals and sure enough lust and another emotion I couldn't quite place swirled in his eyes.
Mine were probably the same except I also felt adoration and love for this enticing creature who haunts my every thought.
We were brought out of our little world by the ringing of my cell phone. Clair De Lune sounded out in the library.
Edward quickly looked down and resumed his drawing and I fumbled through my bag, looking for my phone.
I pulled it out and saw someone sent me a text. People that were in the library looked at me weird because due to my cell phone.
I blushed and cursed myself for not putting it on silent.
I opened my phone and read the text.
Where r u?
I quickly typed in a reply.
Leaving library now.
I made my way toward Mrs. Anderson, but I felt as if something just happened, like a strange feeling, but ignored it in my rush back to the cafeteria.
I checked out the book and walked toward the exit, but not before looking back at Edward who was staring intently at the isle where I was just standing.
With a sigh I exited the library.
"Gross, Em." I said disgusted.
Rose slapped Emmett hard in the back of the head and smiled over at me.
We were all sitting at our usual table eating and goofing around. Emmett and Rosalie quickly accepted Alice and dubbed her 'The Pix'. She liked that.
"Here Emmie." Alice chirped holding up a fry. "Catch."
He opened his mouth wide and Alice threw it in perfectly. She clapped and bounced in her seat. Jasper looked at her with wonder and I knew those two would be just fine.
"So Alice where going shopping this weekend right?" Rosalie asked her.
"Of course. I would never miss a shopping trip." Alice acted as if that was the worst thing ever. I laughed and she looked over at me with raised eyebrows. "What do you think your laughing about. Your coming too."
My mouth dropped open and I paled. Jasper laughed at me earning him a slap in the shoulder from Alice. "And your coming to help with the bags. You too Em."
Emmett and Jasper pouted along with me. We all dreaded shopping when we had to go with Rose and now that Alice is here, let's just say I expected it to be worse.
We all talked a while longer before the bell rang. We threw away our stuff and Rose and Emmett walked to their next class together.
I said that I would see Jazz and Alice at gym, since we all had that together, and made my way toward biology.
I entered the class and looked for my name on the tables. I found my table and sat down. I didn't look at the name of my lab partner because I didn't care. I sat down and pulled out the new book I got and started to read it.
I was reading for about 2 minutes when my partner sat down on my left. I put away my book and felt electricity flow through my body, I didn't have to look to see who it was.
The bell rang and I hid my face by putting a curtain of hair between us. I couldn't face him after what happen in the library.
Mr. Banner passed out an easy warm up worksheet that I finished quickly. I peeked through my hair and saw that Edward was done with his too, he was also unabashedly staring at me.
I blushed, looking away and dug through my bag looking for my moleskine. I didn't feel it in there so I started panicking.
What is someone found it? What if they read it? What if---
"You dropped this in library." A smooth voice said from my left.
I turned to look at him. He had his crooked grin in place and he was holding out my moleskine to me.
There was a spark in his eyes that I didn't understand.
"Thanks." I said softly, taking the notebook from him.
"I'm Edward Cullen." I know. "And you probably already knew that." His face tinged a light pink.
He was blushing and it was adorable.
I laughed lightly. "I'm Bella Swan." I decided to tease him so I added. "And you probably already knew that."
His grin widened at my playfulness. He opened his mouth to say something when the bell rang.
Wow. The class seemed short. Time must of flew by when I was hiding behind my hair.
"Um…" Edward mumbled. I turned to him and he stared at me with emotion in his eyes. I tried to read them, but only saw that he was having some sort of internal struggle. He blinked and it was gone. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear causing me to shiver. "Goodbye Bella. I enjoyed our brief conversation." And with that he grabbed his leather jacket and left the classroom.
"Bye…" I breathed out still looking at where he just left.
I enjoyed our brief conversation…
At least he didn't think I was boring. With a sigh I lifted myself off of the stool and gathered my things. From the corner of my eye I saw something where Edward was sitting.
His sketchbook was left on the floor with the front open to the first page. I didn't mean to be nosy, but the words were bold and hard to ignore.
Mon désir untouchable…
I can only understand the untouchable part. Curiosity got the better of me and I picked up the book.
I took a deep breath and opened the book. I gasped at what I saw.
There were multiple drawings of me. One of me twirling my hair, one of me blushing, one of me biting my lip, one of me writing in my moleskine. There was also some text. The girl who invades my entire being…Wow Edward Cullen is just as obsessed with me as I am of him.
I didn't know what to make of it. Its almost like it was fate for him to leave it here.
Was it an accident or a mistake…
The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return…
I already found love, now I'm just waiting to be loved back.
It can't be hard, right?
The rest of the day went by very slow as I contemplated what I was going to do about Edward.
Should I just confront him about the sketchbook? Should I come clean about my feelings? Should I tell him to come clean about his?
"Ugh." I growled out in frustration and stomped through the parking lot toward the jeep where everybody was waiting.
"Hey Bells ready to go?"
"Um…just a second Em." I turned to Alice. "Can you give me a ride to your house? I have to return something to Edward."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "You can give me what ever it is and I'll make sure he gets it."
"NO." I said a little to loudly. "I mean…no that's fine…I have to talk to him about something anyway."
Alice looked confused but agreed anyways. "Okay. Just come over to that yellow Porsche, when your ready." She said goodbye to all of us and whispered something in Jaspers ear before taking off to her car.
I raised my eyebrows at Jasper and he just smirked.
"Your going to drop something off to Edward?" Jasper asked in disbelief with a blonde eyebrow raised.
"Yes." I turned to Emmett. "I'll see you at home Emmett." He gave me a quick hug and I turned on my heel in the direction of Alice's car.
I got in and she turned to me. "So what do you have to drop off."
"Um…" Think fast Swan. "We have a project…and I just…um need to go over some stuff with him…yeah."
That was believable.
"Oh an assignment on the first day of school. Harsh." I agreed with her and she pulled out of the parking lot.
We drove through some trees until we pulled up to a huge white Victorian house.
"Wow its beautiful Alice." I said in awe getting out of the car.
"Yea, thanks goes to my mother, Esme, she restores houses for a living." She chirped getting out of the car and walking up the steps to the front door.
She opened the door and motioned for me to go inside. "Edward's room is on the third floor, last door to the left."
"Are you sure I'm not going to get lost?" I said looking around at the glorious house.
She giggled at me. "It's not that big of a house Bella."
"Whatever you say." I followed her directions only momentarily stopping to admire artwork and pictures.
I made it to the third floor and walked to the last door on the left. The door was cracked open so I could hear soft jazz music flowing from inside.
I closed my eyes at the soothing music and took a deep breath before knocking on the door.
"Come in." His velvet voice answered.
I pushed open the door and found him sprawled out on a black leather couch with his eyes close.
"Edward…" His eyes opened on my voice and he sat up abruptly.
"Bella." He said in a caress or at least I hoped it was.
"Um…sorry to come into your home like this…but you left…" I reached into my back and pulled out the sketchbook. I walked over to him with my hand held out.
He looked from me to the sketchbook and pulled it out of my hands.
We fell into an awkward silence before I spoke up.
"What does mon désir untouchable mean?" I blurted out.
He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "You looked inside my sketchbook."
My eyes went wide. "No…um…it was in the front…ugh…yes." I stammered. "I'm sorry its just that the words made me wonder what it was about. I'm so sorry."
He sat there for a few moments before speaking. "Did you like them?"
His face fell.
"I loved them. They were beautiful." He smiled in the special way I loved.
"You don't think I'm some stalker for drawing them?"
"Of course not, I'm touched that you drew them and in truth…" I pulled out my moleskine. "I write about you too."
"I know. I read them." He said sheepishly.
"Did you like them?" I asked hopefully.
"No…" My hope died. "I loved them." My hope rekindled.
"You don't think I'm obsessed."
"No, because I feel the same way."
I looked up from where I was staring at the floor and into his piercing eyes. They were swimming with hope and…love?
"Bella since the first time I saw you, you have invaded my every thought and dreams. Your beautiful, kind, selfless, creative, and so much more." He stood up from the couch and walked toward me. "Mon désir untouchable means my untouchable desire and that's what you are to me. You were always there, but I was too much of a coward to talk to you."
"Your not the only one." I told him, blushing slightly. "I guess were both cowards."
He smiled at me. "I guess, but at least we can be cowards together."
"Together." I mused. "I like that."
"No…I love that." And with that he surprisingly pulled me into his arms. He looked into my eyes and silently asked me 'Can I kiss you?'
"I would be insulted if you didn't."
He smiled and closed the distance between us. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he grasped onto me tighter.
I stood on my toes wanting to get closer to him. He understood and lifted me up so that he wouldn't have to lean down.
He pulled away just enough to talk. "What feelings are this?" He quoted me against my lips.
"Love." I crashed my lips back to his and this time I traced my tongue against his bottom lip, begging for entrance.
With a groan he happily accepted. Our tongue were in sync in an intimate dance and I couldn't be happier.
I sighed into his mouth and he nibbled on my bottom lip in response.
"Oh my…" A gasp pulled us apart and we turned to the door where Alice was standing with a hand over her mouth.
Edward quickly let me down and I blushed at being caught.
"Well this was unexpected?" Alice asked smirking.
"Why didn't you knock?" Edward hissed at his sister.
She ignored him and turned to me. "I came up here to see if you were ready to go home by I see you're a little preoccupied…"
I blushed even more, I probably invented a new shade of red. "Alice I'll drop her off." Edward said smiling down at me.
"Okay I'm going to Jasper's anyway." I looked over at her and she just winked. "See ya tomorrow Bella."
"So…" I mumbled awkwardly after she left.
"So?" Edward mimicked.
"Does this mean were boyfriend and girlfriend?" I said timidly.
"I sure hope so, love." My heart banged against my chest when he called me love. "Let me get my keys so I can drive you home."
"Actually. Can I stay here a little longer?"
"Of course." He laid down on his couch and held his arms opened to me.
I eagerly jumped into his arms and settled my back against his chest while my legs were in between his.
"I guess the lion fell in love with the lamb." He said into my hair.
I snuggled deeper into his embrace. "What a stupid lamb…"
"What a lucky son of a bitch lion…"
A.N. Did you like it?
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