A/N okay guys...this is the last chapter of Love Crash Heal...I'm not going to lie and say I'm not getting all teary eyed because i am.
I just want to thank everyone who's stuck on this story with me. I truly appreciate all you support...you've been great and it is for you that I kept it going...It is also for you that i will be writing a sequel
Special thanks to Twihard 104 for suggesting this song to me sooooo long ago. I kept it in the back of my mind that i wanted to use it in that last chapter...it really helped me shape the story in a way...So thanks!
I hope you all enjoy this chapter...and I REALLY hope all of those who read this story follow along for it sequel!
This is for Keeps
Waking up in the wee hours of the morning to find your boyfriend gone and a note in his place is never a great way to start your day. I almost didn't want to read it.
I was afraid it would say that he couldn't stand me being so hot and cold with my avoiding him all day then crying in his arms at night. I was afraid it would say that he couldn't deal with the choice I had made and was leaving me before I had planned for us to part.
Instead it said that he loved me, that he had some personal matters to tend to, that he'd be back in time for the party, and for me not to leave until he got back.
I stared at his note until the words started twisting and turning in on themselves, trying to wrap my mind around why he would just leave and not tell me, but all I could come up with were questions that circled in on each other. I couldn't imagine what personal matters he would have that he couldn't tell me about –we had no secrets from each other- unless he was going where the whole month I feared he'd try to go. If that was the case I had to stop him.
Just as I scrambling from the bed to go hunt down Alice and demand she tell me what he was up to she busted through the door smiling.
"Where the hell did he go?" I wailed when she jumped on the bed pushing me back against the headboard.
"Hmm…I could tell you. But I won't. Besides he threatened bodily harm if I did." She smiled a genuine smile. The first genuine smile I had seen on any of their faces since the decision about my changing had been made. It was…refreshing.
"So...," Alice poked at my thigh which was covered in black and blue. "Looks like you had some night."
"One last hurrah," I answered with fake enthusiasm. Something about her jovial mood was making me feel some kind of way. I wondered if Jasper wasn't on the other side of the door manipulating me.
"Well…I had planned for us to go shopping for the party. I had envisioned a dress…something strapless and I was even going to let you get away with wearing your stupid converse…this is your party after all…but now it seems like it's jeans and longs sleeves for you….of course this ruins all my coordination."
"Alice! Where is Edward?" I said snapping her out of her rambling. Once she got started it was hard to get her to stop. She stared at me for a second pursing her lips then smiled all Cheshire cat like.
"Getting on his plane." She smirked and flashed over to his desk returning with his laptop and snuggled next to me. "You should probably get more sleep. You're gonna need it for this weekend…oh and Rosalie wants to talk to you later. She's taking you out to breakfast."
"Thanks for planning out my day," I muttered punching the pillow pretending for a moment it was her head. I knew this face she was wearing. This was the "You're not getting any information out of me so don't ask" face.
"You are grumpy when you just wake up. Go back to sleep…wake up nicer." She flipped her hand gesturing for me to turn over and rolled her eyes.
"I'd be nicer if you tell me what the hell he's up to. You obviously know or you wouldn't be sitting here all chipper like."
"Exactly your point. If he were up to something, would I be sitting here all chipper like?"
"Maybe…if he were doing something you didn't want me to know about. Which would explain why you are stealthily trying to hold me hostage in here."
She laughed right in my face. A loud, stomach holding laugh, and pulled me into her arms hugging me a little too tightly. "Bella…He'll be back on Sunday. I swear to you. We're way past the point of me having to hide things from you anyway. Honestly if he were doing anything I wouldn't have let him out the house."
"But how do you know he won't change his mind while he's gone? How do you know that he isn't going to go to Italy and try to bargain with the Volturi or something? You know how he is."
"You're right," she said pulling away from me. "I do know my brother better than anyone next to you…so I know that what he has here," she grabbed my hand squeezing it, "is more important to him than anything in this world. Now go back to sleep."
Rationally I knew she was right though my stomach was still twisted into knots. It wasn't like him to leave without waking me…without telling me where he was going. However I tried to take some comfort in her words. Besides, after I was changed she and Jasper would be all I had.
I drifted back to sleep but not for very long. I never slept well when Edward was away and not knowing where he was made me have nightmares, re-plays of our meeting with the Volturi, and seeing Edward face down in the dirt in the screaming. I woke up sweating with my forehead pressed against Alice's thigh.
"What are you still doing in here?" I snatched Edward's pillow from behind her still shaken from my dream and desperately in need of his comfort.
"Shopping." She tipped the screen away from me for a few seconds and closed a few windows before turning it back to me so I could see that she was buying furniture and a lot of it. We didn't talk about my dream though from the look on her face I knew she knew I was having a nightmare. Instead we picked out things I would want in my new room even though I tried to convince her that I'd be too busy wanting to kill people to care about what color my curtains were.
"If you're comfortable and have things to divert your attention you'll assimilate faster. We'll keep you well fed and I'm sure you'll be sufficiently occupied that you probably won't even think about how thirsty you are."
The playful tone in her voice gave it away. She was hinting at something but my brain was too fogged up to figure it out nor did she give me time to ask. Within seconds she was inside my closest and telling me I need to shower and get dressed because Rosalie would be ready soon.
I reached for my phone on the side table, peaked at it seeing that Edward hadn't called or texted, and then groaned rolled over burying my face in his pillow.
"I'm not going anywhere. Edward told me not to leave until he got back," I said into the pillow. My body felt like I'd been hit with a Mack truck and moving didn't seem like so great of an option for me anyway. I just wanted to stay in bed.
"Did you hear me when I said he'll be back SUNDAY?" Alice appeared at my bedside with clothes over her arm, pulled the blankets back and dumped them on me, smiled, then disappeared.
I rolled my eyes pushing out of the bed and got in the shower. I hurried getting dressed when I heard the garage door go up meaning that Rosalie was waiting in her BMW for me and as we drove to the diner in silence, I tried not to let how awkward this situation was get to me.
"So…this is new. Me and you…being alone together," I said once we had our food. She still hadn't spoken yet.
"This isn't a bonding moment. I just wanted you to know that Emmett knows…about what I did. He promised not to say anything to Edward but that doesn't mean he won't find out."
"So what if he does. Wasn't your main concern that Emmett would leave you…well he hasn't. I think we're fine."
Rosalie's eyes snapped up to mine at the same time the spoon bent in her hand. "You think this is just about Emmett?" She leaned forward across the table inches from my face. "This is about Edward too, Bella. If he finds out," she stopped for a moment trying to control the volume of her voice, "If Tanya hadn't of gotten away she wouldn't have had the chance to go to the Volturi asking for protection then Aro wouldn't have seen anything about you. I don't know what that will do to him if he finds out Bella…what that would do to the family."
That was the piece of the puzzle I never had the chance to put together. The whole Volturi experience was so frightening I blocked it out of my mind once it was over. The after effects I could deal with but that didn't mean I wanted to think about it.
"So what do you want me to do Rosalie? It's not like I can walk around with my shield on everyone. I don't even know if I can use it again."
Rosalie's hands shot across the table and grabbed mine. She jerked me so that I ended up looking her dead in the eye. "I want you to tell Edward that you won't go through with it. You shouldn't anyway. This is no way to…be…and you have to consider there may be a better life for you out there. One that doesn't involve us…one where you just get to be human."
I jerked my hands away from her at. Wasn't it her that convinced Edward to come back to me? And now she was asking me to leave him again?
"In case you hadn't realized it yet I kind of have no choice. If I'm not changed by the end of the summer then the Volturi will come after you…they'll come after me…after Charlie and Renee. I have to do this. I have to protect my family. All of them. And I'm not leaving Edward. I can't be apart from him again."
I got up from the table intent on leaving but she pulled me back into the seat. "You're going to leave him anyway…so why not do it and keep your life. We'll figure out some way to deal with the Volturi but I can't let you do this. Think of Edward. Think of how he'll feel when he finds out this whole thing could have been avoided if only I hadn't let her get away."
I narrowed my eyes at her. This wasn't really about me staying human…or about Edward's feelings. This was about him not being mad at her. This was about her.
"Rosalie, the depth of your selfishness astounds me sometimes. I'm not going to endanger the lives of everyone I love just so Edward won't be mad at you. When and if he finds out we'll deal with it. Until then, if you can't be supportive…then don't speak to me at all. I have enough guilt wearing down my shoulders. I don't need to wear yours too!"
I threw my napkin down and got up from the table. She didn't follow, just crossed her arms over her chest with a sourpuss look on her face staring out the window. There was too much for me to deal with this weekend and I felt like I was swimming sharks. The bad dreams were starting to get to me and I didn't know who to talk to about them. If I tried to talk to Edward that would just give him more of a reason to talk me out of it and Alice would just tell me I was being silly. I wasn't being silly. I was frightened and desperately wanted to get my mind off of things, so I did the only thing I could think of…I called Jacob.
Jake and I drove out to the pier in Port Angeles and walked watching people board the ferry.
"So I haven't seen or heard very much from you in the last month," Jacob started when I was silent for too long.
"Sorry…finals…you know how that is."
"Yea…I guess." He shrugged then turned me to face him. "Is everything okay Bella? You're kind of out it…kind of like before when the bloodsuck…er..I mean um Edward bailed."
I suddenly found myself gasping for breath. Even after all this time just thinking about that still hurt and here I found myself in the same place…Edward gone and me not knowing where he was. Hadn't it occurred to him…to anyone that that's what this would feel like to me?
"Hey…Bella… are you alright? You're looking kind of green."
"Yes….I'm fine Jacob." I took a deep breath trying to compose myself. Jacob was easy to talk to. Easier than Edward in some ways and if I started to vent I may ended up saying too much. I wasn't ready to tell him about the Volturi's decision…didn't want to if I didn't have to. Once I left I was sure he'd figure it out on his own and by then it would be too late.
"You don't look fine…what's going on Bells. You know you can talk to me about anything." Jacob grabbed my hand pulling me under his arm and hugged me tightly. My arms wrapped themselves around his waist and suddenly I was crying. Not violent crying…just tears and sadness pouring out of me while Jacob rubbed my back.
"Now that you've succeeded in soaking my shirt you are going to tell me what's going on. Or am I going to have to get you drunk again?"
"No, no alcohol though it would help with nightmares." I laughed and used the end of his shirt to wipe my eyes. "I'm just a little stressed is all and Edward's gone…he left for the weekend and no one wants to tell me where he went."
"I'm surprised he didn't leave sooner…weren't any of them afraid we'd retaliate for the whole Sam situation?"
So much for getting my mind off things… I hadn't expected him to bring that up. It was him that warned us that Sam might be plotting something in first place. Why would he care?
"No…Why would they? Sam attacked us. You'd have no reason to go after the Cullens." I narrowed my eyes at him and moved away putting some space between us. If he was about to tell me he planned to go after Edward I'd need the room to swing my punch.
"The fact that they are even here is reason enough but we made a deal and unlike Sam I'm going to stick to it…unless they give me a reason to do otherwise."
I could see the darkness pass quickly over his face. I knew what he meant….what it would mean if I was changed while I was still in Forks and that was trouble I was going to do my best to avoid. Jacob's expression was strained and I reached out to grab his hand but he pulled it away. The past month had been an emotional roller coaster for me with Edward and my impending separation and in all that time it hadn't occurred to me once to find out what had happened to Sam. Frankly, I hadn't really cared.
"Well what about Sam? Are you just going to let him off the hook even though he was trying to offer me up as a sacrifice?"
"Sam is suffering enough, believe me."
"How?" I asked incredulously. He was still alive and as far as I knew no serious damage had been done.
"Sam can't phase and we don't know if he'll ever be able to again. I've had to take over the whole pack and let me tell you…no one is happy that I'm here right now…they feel like I'm a traitor. Do you have any idea what that's like…being the head when no one trusts you?"
My eyes narrowed for a second. It was no secret that Jacob hadn't wanted to be a pack leader at all so I got this distinct feeling that he wasn't upset because of what happened to Sam but because of the responsibility he had to take over.
"Am I the only one that's not being a selfish brat around here," I mumbled to myself.
"What are you talking about? I'm not being selfish Bella…I'm being pissed. It seems like my whole life's ended on account of the whole wolf thing. I had plans…finish college…get a job…get married. And now look at me…I'm going to remain this way…this age….frozen like your blood suckers until the threat is gone and I can control the phasing enough to not do it anymore. It wasn't like I asked for this and it isn't like I want it, so who's being selfish? Me for being upset about having all this dumped on me…or you for embracing what they are…for what they were able to do to me?"
As I stared into Jacob's eyes in that moment I felt like I wanted to crumble and be washed away in the tide. He was hurting worse than I was. He hadn't chosen this life and I was choosing that life that had ruined his. I could feel myself about to burst into tears, could feel my teeth chattering and a cold sweat breaking out on my skin but then the faces of everyone I loved flashed behind my closed eyes and I felt my conviction grounding me. I was doing this to protect the ones I loved, even Jake, though I know he wouldn't see it that way. Getting to spend eternity with Edward was just a bonus…that was if he was willing to have me.
"Jacob…I'm sorry," was all I could managed to say before forcing him into my arms and holding him for what seemed like forever. Such was our relationship that the anger passed quickly and we spent the rest of the day hanging out and being us; Jacob and Bella not the unwilling werewolf and the soon to be vampire.
By the time Alice picked me up from the treaty line I was exhausted but stayed up long enough to help her get things set up for the party. Rosalie made it a point to let everyone know she was upset with me but I ignored her. I had too many more important things to think about, like the fact that I still hadn't heard from Edward and the fact that even though tomorrow was supposed to be all about fun it signified something else to me.
To me it was the beginning of the end of my life. After the party I'd have to start saying my goodbyes. After the party I'd have to start mentally preparing myself for three days of excruciating pain and lord knows how many years of uncontrollable bloodlust. By the end of the summer I'd have to face the Volturi again and who knew if I'd even live through that. The worst thought of all was…I didn't know if I'd have Edward by my side through any of it.
Needless to say I had another sleepless night, tossing and turning and burying my face in Edward's pillow for comfort. I even went so far as to wearing one of his shirts but nothing worked. Finally around five I gave up, made myself breakfast, and crawled back into bed listening to one of the cd's he'd made me. I missed him and it was driving me nuts that his phone was turned off and he wouldn't call. I started to worry that my behavior for the last month had driven him away. I could feel how much my silence was hurting him but I didn't know how else to prepare us for a separation. In truth I was hoping that he'd just change his mind.
"You're driving Jasper nuts!" Alice screamed, busting through the door, and startling me so badly that I fell off the bed. "Quit moping around and go talk to Charlie already! Edward will be back later today and all will be right in the world again."
"If only that were the only reason I was moping," I mumbled picking myself up off the floor.
"Today is a day to be happy Bella. Trust me." Her smile stretched from ear to ear as she patted the rollers in her hair. She danced on her toes out of the room. I could hear her talking to Jasper in the hall, their lips smacking together for what should have been a peck on the mouth but quickly turned to more. It made me want to gag but I didn't want her to know I was jealous so I just left.
I still hadn't talk to Charlie about my moving back home for awhile and I figured I might as well do it now instead of surprising him. He didn't like surprises anymore than I did. As I was pulling up to the block just around the corner from home I saw Edward's Volvo speeding past me in the opposite direction. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I skidded on the breaks until my car stopped and hopped out.
He'd of known that I was close. He always knew when I was close…he could always hear my heartbeat. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration and sighed trying to calm myself but I couldn't of course, so I left my truck where it was and practically ran around the corner to the house. Charlie was outside washing the cruiser when I sprinted up. He looked at me, smiled, and then sprayed me with hose.
"What's up kid?" he asked while I screamed and tried to shield my face.
"Dad! Stop!" I shrieked swatting at the water. Charlie just shrugged his shoulders and smirked.
"Alice is throwing this big graduation party tonight and well…I kind of wanted to talk to you about something beforehand." I walked closer with my hands up in case he tried to spray me again.
Charlie nodded at me, the hint of a smile still on his face while he sprayed down the cruiser. "Sure thing. Why don't you get us some drinks and meet me on the back porch." He turned away from me…whistling. Whistling!
A few minutes later Charlie met me on the back porch, sitting on the swing next to me and put his arm around my shoulder.
"We haven't done this since you were a kid," he said hugging me.
"I know. I'm sorry dad…for the way things have gone."
"Don't worry about it Bells. You're in good hands. I know you're being taken care of. And it's not like I never see you."
My stomach did a back flip when he said that. I tried to steady my breathing…keep from crying but the tears turned my vision all hazy and I turned my face into his side. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around me and put his chin on the top of my head holding me until I contained myself.
This being an emotional wreck was getting kind of old to me. How was I ever going to convince Edward that I was okay with my decision if I couldn't stop crying about it?
"Dad…what was Edward doing here earlier," I asked when I could speak clearly. I felt Charlie shrug his shoulders.
"He called me from the airport and said he wanted to stop by on his way home. We had a nice lunch and talked."
I bolted out of his arms staring at him with a look of disbelief on my face. "You ate together?"
"Yea…and I gotta tell you the boy eats like a bird. You would think with the size of his brothers he'd be as big as them but now I see why he's not." Charlie laughed and shook his head. It suddenly dawned on me why he'd sped past me the way he did. The few times I'd seen him actually eat…well let's just say he can't keep food down for very long. I took a long deep breath and relaxed a little. At least I knew he wasn't avoiding me.
"Well what did he want to talk about?"
"Nothing in particular. Just shooting the breeze like he's done every other time."
"Every other time?"
"Edward's been here quite a few times this past month. Funny, I thought you knew."
"No," I answered mechanically. "I didn't. I have no idea what he up to. If you know you should tell me. You know I hate surprises."
Charlie laughed and squeezed my knee. "All surprises aren't bad…some but not all. Remember that."
We chuckled together for a few moments before it turned into a comfortable silence. It was nice while it lasted but then Charlie had to go and remind me what I came to talk to him about.
"Um…yea…I want to come home for a little while…you know before I leave."
"I'd like that, Bells." And then he hugged me…tightly and I could hear him sniffling and figured he'd probably hugged me so long so I wouldn't see him crying, which was fine. I don't think I could have held it together seeing Charlie cry.
We sat for a little while longer before it started getting dark and I had to get dressed. Sitting in the middle of my bed was a small gold gift bag with a tag hanging from it that had my name on it. Edward's scent was all over it. Laying beneath and absurd amount of green, gold, and black tissue paper was a small blue velvet pouch. I groaned at the thought of what was in it. No doubt something expensive. Something that cost more than my entire wardrobe pre-Alice.
I opened the pouch and didn't know whether to smile or scowl. It was a pair of diamond and sapphire drop earrings. They were beautiful but I didn't want gifts…I wanted just wanted to see him. I dressed with slow deliberate movements, mentally preparing myself for the show I was going to have to put on and the verbal ass kicking I was going to give Edward for adding stress to this already almost unbearable time.
Charlie insisted the last place he wanted to spend his evening was in a house full of horny teenagers, forcing me to face the entrance alone. To say that Alice had outdone herself would be an understatement. Had I not been living in that house for months I wouldn't have recognized it. The place was completely transformed to look like a New York City lounge. Music poured out of speakers that were set up throughout the first floor and the bass made the floor vibrate beneath my feet.
The house was already packed with bodies. I had the feeling that more than the senior class had showed up as I tried to squeeze my way to the stairs where Alice was talking with two of our classmates. She smiled when our eyes met and excused herself, coming down to meet me.
"What took you so long? I was about to send Jasper to go get you." Alice smiled, pulling me by my hand into less-crowded kitchen.
"I'm sorry," I said craning my neck looking for Edward. Alice turned me by my chin back to look at her.
"Happy face Bella. Happy face. This will all be over in a few hours and then you and Edward can talk."
"Speaking of Edward…where is he?"
"He's outside socializing which is exactly what you're about to do." She led me into the living room which was packed with all of our "friends." I could see Angela and Ben dancing in the corner. Mike and Jessica were there too with Lauren which surprised me. I still hadn't forgotten or forgiven him for what he'd done but didn't dwell on it. He hadn't bothered me the entire senior year and I heard he stopped drinking too.
For a while I just made my rounds talking to people but the whole time my palms were sweating and my heart was beating out of my chest. To be so close but kept from him was torture. I saw my one chance to escape outside when Alice was uh…preoccupied with Japer's dental inspection on the dance floor but no sooner than I turned to make my run for it did she spring up beside me and stopped me from going out.
"No so fast there my friend," she said sternly wagging a finger at me. For a moment I considered trying to break it off.
"Why are you keeping us apart Alice? This doesn't make any sense!" I half yelled had whined at her. I could feel him…feel that he was close and it was killing me that she wouldn't even let me near the windows to see him.
"Because Bella…this is a party…for you. And being that you haven't seen Edward in a few days I know that you will spend the whole night up his butt and there other people you need to see…other people you need to say goodbye to. Besides Edward is being kept away from you too…you should hear the stink he's putting up out there."
Well at least that was a comforting thought. At least I knew he wanted to see me. I fingered the earrings and nodded at her but I was still sulking. I still wanted to see him and it was still pissing me off to be kept from him. I gave my best effort to have fun, monopolizing my time with actual friends but when people I barely knew started thanking me for invitations, telling me that they'd miss me when we were all off to college I started to get worn out and drifted towards the windows hoping to catch a glimpse of him outside. Emmett and Rose were out there talking to people but I didn't see Edward. He wasn't anywhere in sight so I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the glass as I'd seen him do a million times when I felt the someone step up behind me.
The clutch on my lungs finally gave way and I closed my eyes taking deep breaths as Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed against me. I nearly melted into him, covering his hands with mine and leaned back against him.
"So how much trouble am I in?" He breathed into my hair and I shivered, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck to pull him closer.
"Tons, but I'll rip you a new one later. Right now I'm just glad you're back. Edward I…"
"Bella, I missed the hell out of you." He spun me quickly in arms, kissed me hard pulling me up off the floor, and sandwiched me between him in the glass. I wanted to climb into his skin, forgetting momentarily where we were, and wrapped my legs around his waist. Edward's hands gripped my ass firmly as the sweet dizziness that I had craved like a heroin addict was starting to take over but Edward didn't stop. He kissed me until he knew he couldn't anymore and even after he kept his lips on mine as she slowly lowered me to my feet. His hands followed the curves of my body, not helping with me trying to regain my composure, only making me want to kiss him more.
"Safe to say you aren't angry with me anymore?" I could hear the laughter in his voice and for a moment wanted to kick him in the shin, but only because he was right. I looked up into his eyes and completely forgot whatever snarky come back I had. His golden eyes were smoldering and his smile breath-taking, so much so that, for a moment I forgot how to breathe.
Edward pulled me away from the windows, jumpstarting my lungs, and danced me into the center of the room. I forgot to be embarrassed, upset, or question him. He was smiling at me, our bodies moving to the rhythm of whatever party song was playing, and nothing else seemed to matter.
From the corner of my eye I saw Alice nod at us from and looked up quickly to see Edward nodding back at her. The lighting in the room changed from the techno-colors that it had been all night to this low romantic lighting. From the speakers came a slow and steady beat of drums followed by the twinkling of piano keys. I looked up at Edward confused by what was going on…by the sudden change in the atmosphere in the room but he just pulled me close to and leaned down to my ear.
"I heard this song a few days ago. It made me think of you…of what I've wanted to say to you all month but just couldn't find the right words," he said in a hushed whisper.
"Shhh Bella. Just listen. Really listen okay."
And listen I did as the singer's voice told a story…and oddly familiar story while Edward swayed our bodies slowly side to side. The words "Would you like to leave this human race tonight?" were sung and I was hit, blindsided by what he was trying to say when suddenly his lips were at my ear and he was singing along with the song.
"Eternity will never be enough for me…and eternally we'll live our infallible love."
I gasped about to speak but was silenced by his sweet lips again. As the tears poured from my eyes we kissed out the rest of the song, completely oblivious to everything that was going on around the room.
Bella's lips molded over mine, her tears pouring between us but from the way she was clutching on to me I knew she got it. I knew she understood what I was trying to say with the song.
Once the song went off Bella's lips were still on mine but we weren't kissing anymore. Her fingers were curled into my hair and she just held me there, slowly catching her breath. The Dj quickly whipped the ambiance back into party mode and I smiled into my loves lips before spinning her away and then back into my arms. She laughed her beautiful heart melting laugh, smile at me, then wrapped her arm around my waist pulling me from the dance floor. Alice winked at me from across the room where she was standing with Jasper, Emmett, and rose, all of them with knowing looks on their faces.
I'd wanted to wait until the party was over but, on looking at her face and seeing the smile there, I knew it was time. I danced on my feet out the back door and made our way through the crowd of people that littered my backyard. Everything was set up at the creek just as I'd requested. The blanket from our first night here. The small radio playing the soft music and not a person anywhere in sight. The moon was high, casting its blue light over our little spot of heaven, and I sank onto the blanket watching Bella kick off her shoes to stick her toes in the water.
"Are you going to tell me where you went now? I've been going crazy without you these past two days." She turned back to me with tears glistening in her eyes and I felt a pang of guilt. Maybe I hadn't made the best choice leaving the way I did but it was partly to prove a point. Bella was stubborn and sometimes had to learn the hard way.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything but I didn't want you to ask questions. I knew you'd make a fuss about me leaving so I thought it was best to just go and do what I had to do so that I wouldn't have to lie to you," I answered quietly, pulling her slightly trembling body down to my side, and sweeping her hair behind her ear so she couldn't hide her face from me.
Bella pulled my hand up to her cheek, leaning into it with her eyes closed then opened them slowly but I could still see the tears she was trying to hide.
"That's understandable I guess. So where did you go?"
Her eyes widened a bit at me going back to my home town. She knew that place held to many memories and too much pain for me. Chicago was where I had buried and left my parents. Chicago was where I had ripped angrily through the city- a predator of the night- during my rebellious years.
"Are you okay?" Her hands were suddenly on my face comforting me with her warmth.
"After all this time I would have thought it would be easier to go there but it wasn't as easy as I thought. But I felt I needed to go there and…tell them about you…ask for their blessing."
"I'm sure you're parents would bless you wherever you were Edward. You didn't need to put yourself through all of that."
"True…but it just felt like something I needed to do." She kissed me softly assuaging the pain that started to build in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me, and letting her drumming heart beat the rest out. Our eyes met then our lips. I lost my train of thought kissing her as my lips traveled from her sweet mouth to her neck. Her pants and sighs were always so deliciously distracting.
"So…are you going to tell me why you went to Charlie's today? Why you actually ate food with him?" she asked when we finally came up for air.
"It seemed the right thing to do. The talking to Charlie part not the eating part. That I paid for. Trust me." We both chuckled and Bella leaned forward to rest her forehead against my shoulder then wrapped her arms around my neck pulling herself closer.
"So you're really okay with this now…with what I'm doing?"
I nodded against her face giving her a reassuring squeeze. "I'm more than okay with it. I actually want it. Have wanted it, really, for a long time but I thought I was being selfish. To take your life just so I'll never have to be without you is the most selfish thing I could ever do."
"I don't think it selfish Edward. I'd of given up my life for you a long time ago. Once I had you there really wasn't any other option for me …and it wasn't just because of the danger we've gone through…but because I love you that much. I can't be without you."
"Thus the other reason why I left and sort of stayed away. I wanted to know…and what you to know what it would feel like to be apart…the way you were willing to do it. My life is hell without you Bella. Consider that a failed experiment because I can't be without you either."
Bella stared at me wide-eyed for a moment then sucked her teeth as if she were about to berate me then changed her mind. She kissed me, with an attitude at first but when I snaked my arm around her back and started to lean back, she gave up, giving into me, and let her body weight push us both down to the ground. I was about to give way to her passion when the real reason for my bringing her out here jumped forefront in mind, that and the fact that with her turning to straddle my waist her knee was about to bump into not only me bulging out of pants.
"Bella wait," I panted out pushing her away. Her chest was heaving the way it always does when she's trying to catch her and I pulled her up to her feet trying to put a little space between us so I wouldn't just say to hell with my plan and rip all her clothes off like I wanted to.
The moonlight reflected off the water and hit her face in a way that took my breath away. With her paleness it was just a glimmer of the way she would look when she was finally like me. I curled my fingers into hair and kissed her lips softly, slowly so we didn't get all work up again when I felt the earring against the palm of my hand. I pulled away, pulling her hair back, and smiled.
"You're wearing the earrings. I didn't know if you would but I hoped for it. As expected they look just as beautiful as you as they did on the original owner."
"The original owner?"
"These earrings were my mother's Bella. It was one of the reasons I had to go back to Chicago. There were a few things that were placed in a safety deposit box that I had to retrieve."
Bella smiled, fingering the earrings and then leaned up on her toes to kiss me again. "Thank you Edward. I'm honored to wear them. They're beautiful. I'll cherish them for all eternity." She wrapped her arms around my waist hugging me and leaned back to smile up at me. "You said a few things, what else did you get?"
I couldn't have set it up any better if I had given her a script.
"This ring." I held up my hand so she could see my father's Masen ring on my finger. She reached up pulling my hand closer to her face so she could see it better leaving my other hand free to reach into my pocket and grab a hold of the velvet box.
"And this one," I whispered, slowly I dropping down to one knee, and presented the ring box open in the palm of my hand. Her heart immediately went into over drive and she sort of swayed back on her feet as her eyes moved from the ring to my face.
"I wanted to do this right...so I went to my parents and asked for their blessing. And then I went to your father and asked for his. It wasn't easy, let me tell you…but when I explained to him…how much I loved you," emphasis was placed unconsciously on the love…as if my just saying it wouldn't have been enough…as if she needed to feel the depth of my words.
"From the moment I laid eyes on you I was irrevocably changed. You have brought out the part of me that I never knew I had. You have had more trust and faith in me than I had in myself. You make me want to be a better…no... the best person that I can possibly be."
I had to stop for a moment. I was getting choked up trying to find the right words. Bella was shaking as I reached up and placed the ring on the tip of her finger. I looked up into her beautiful brown eyes that were glossy with her tears and saw my heaven…my own personal heaven looking down at me. The words sprang into my head and flowed out of my mouth without my even having to think about them.
"Isabella Swan…I will love you every single moment of forever. Will you…grant me the blessed eternity of being my wife?"
The tears burned in my eyes as I waited for her answer.
A second passed.
And then through her tears I heard her answer. "Yes…oh God yes Edward."
In the next second the ring was firmly on her finger and I was standing with her in my arms. She crushed her lips to mine curling her fingers into my hair, kissing me with every ounce of strength in her small body.
I was the one to sway on my feet now, so overcome with emotion. My knees wobbled and we sank to the ground with our legs tangled together. Bella lay on top of me, kissing all over my face and down my neck while I ran my hands up her back and pushed her shirt over her shoulders.
I moaned when I felt her hands slide underneath my shirt over the muscles of my stomach to my chest. She leaned back, pushing my shirt up and then I felt her mouth again, this time where her hands had just been. Her lips were hot and full. With every landing my body shivered beneath her. Slowly I ran my hands up her thighs hooking my thumbs in the waist of her pants. Meaning to pull them down I just ended up pulling them sideways and she spoke into my skin, "Just tear them off!" So I did. In one fluid motion I tore them apart and flipped her over so that she was on her back and I was hovering above her.
Her hands found my face and she placed her palms on my cheeks drawing me in for a kiss. I pressed my lips firmly to hers, following with my body which she wrapped her legs tightly around my waist. Bella's lips parted, inviting me in, making melt into her when my tongue wrapped around hers inside her mouth. She danced with me for a moment before for letting me take control. I moved my lips from her mouth to her neck, stopping there to inhale her fragrance before resuming my travels south. Her thighs quivered around me, her heat pressing against me, breaking my concentration of my slow decent down to the smooth skin of her stomach.
I stopped, staring into her eyes. The love that overflowed in them always overwhelmed and I leaned back trying to catch my bearings. My swept my fingers lightly over the dark spots on her thighs, mentally kicking myself for my loss of control when she grabbed my hand and pulled it to her heart.
"Apologize later if you must but celebrate with me now. We're getting married Edward…and soon…you won't have to worry about these anymore."
"There…you did it again. Made me feel better without me telling you what was wrong." I smiled shyly at her, feeling sort of embarrassed. I imagined it silver of how my family felt around me.
"There a simple reason for that. We were made for each other."
She said it so matter-of-factly that it made is both smile. The smile turned into a soft kiss, that turned into a deeper kiss, that turned into us whimpering with need into each other's mouths. Holding onto her hips I worked my lips back down, stopping to lavish each of her breast with my mouth and tongue. She squirmed beneath me, panting and sighing, pulling me closer and running her hot hands all over my body until I couldn't take it anymore. I pressed my lips to hers again, guiding her hand, wanting her touch me.
Bella ripped the buttons of my pants open and yanked them down with such ferocity it made us both laugh.
Bella pushed my pants over my hips, and then slowly ran her hands up my backside slowly, while grating her teeth across my bottom lip. One of her hands moved in between us, sliding along the length of me, making my eyes roll in that back of my head from how good her hands felt. Bella's breathing was ragged as she worked her hands on me. Her soft thighs moved over mine as I moved myself in her hand, mimicking how it felt to be inside her.
"I love you…so much Bella," I whispered in her ear as I pulled myself from her grasp and slid up between her legs.
"I love you more than my human heart can bear," she whispered back placing her hands at the small of my back. We stared into each other eyes for a moment, mirror images of love burning in both before I slid with comforting ease into her. I watched her face contort with ecstasy, holding back my own urge to close my eyes and lose myself in her body.
Bella wrapped her arms around me, holding herself tightly to me as I rolled us over so she was on top. She kept her body flushed with mine, moving slowly over me and letting my feel every inch of her skin, her soft breast sliding over my chest. She was beautiful and though I wouldn't have thought it was possible if I hadn't seen it myself, would be more beautiful in the matter of a few weeks. Where this thought would have normally filled me with guilt it now filled me with joy as our bodies slowly swayed to Sia's "My love" that was playing above our head.
I craned my head back, letting our a growl…a moan…her name… before I felt the heat rising in her body. She pulled my face back to hers, kissing me before leaning away and placing my hands on her hips so that I could work her into a fit of ecstasy.
I pushed myself up, supporting my weight one hand and Bella with the other as our hips rocked faster together. She was moaning loudly now, clutching my hair in her hands and panting out my name. Pressing my lips to her skin, I thrust harder, the coils in my stomach were knotting, the tension building throughout my body screaming for release and with in seconds we were both crying out.
With heaving chest we collapsed against each other. I rubbed Bella's back trying to soothe her racing heart and she ran her hands along my sides calming me before slipping to and cradling herself in my arms. We lay there, wrapped in each others arms. I listened to Bella's breath even out, filtering the sounds of the party ending back at the house. Emmett was arguing with Alice about setting off fireworks over our heads, but she threatened to rip his arm off is he did.
I laughed, causing Bella's naked body to slide against my arm. The sensation traveled in waves through my body, springing me to life, and she laughed pressing one hand against me and used the other to turn my face to hers.
"Very soon I'll have as much stamina as you," she murmured with her lips pressed to mine.
"When you're ready…and not a moment before."
I meant what I said but when Bella pulled my waist, turning me on my side to face her, and pulled her body flush with mine, burying my face in her neck I hoped she wouldn't make me wait too much longer.
A/N And dont you worry because you wont have to wait much longer for the sequel to start... I've got so many crazy Ideas going through my head...I mean think about it...
Bella still has to be changed...They still have to go to Volterra...Guys this was only the beginning...The end has yet to come!
Thanks again to everyone who stuck with me. I love you I love you I love you...Look out for the sequel!