How Far Can Idiocy Go?

by: Sorrowful Princess


Genre: Humour/Romance

Pairing: NatsumeXMikan


Notes prior to story beginning: I plan to make this short. Two-shots. But it can be three chapters at the most.



"T-This is...!" The brunette exclaimed with her eyes glinting with excitement, as if she had just found something almighty and divine. She clutched the thing in her hands and silently vowed upon herself that tomorrow, she will definitely take an action.




Twelve year old Mikan Sakura ran vigorously to where her best friend was located. Specifically, at the cafeteria, eating her crab brains. Yes, it was already lunchtime, and Mikan Sakura had eagerly waited for this free time to come. Why? Because today is the day where she will ask her best friend about 'that'.

What's 'that', you asked? Well, I think it would be better if Mikan, herself, will be the one to expose it.

She found her best friend sitting on the far corner by herself, maybe because she told everyone she doesn't want company. You know Hotaru, she prefers to be alone, but not in a lonely way.

Without any hesitation, she practically jumped on her while giving her a long 'Hotaruuu' greeting, which of course, caused Hotaru to be extremely annoyed. Mikan ended up having her face slammed on the floor instead.

"Idiot," her best friend muttered while giving her a very murderous glare. Unknown to Mikan, she accidentally pushed the crab brains out of the table and it fell on the floor. When Mikan found out about this though, she couldn't help but gulp nervously.

"Ahehe, how clumsy I am," the brunette tried to lighten up but failed miserably.

Hotaru, terribly pissed by her now gone crab brains and by her idiot best friend, took out her baka missile and fired it to Mikan. As usual, this caused a fuss in the cafeteria, but no one tried to meddle with them for they knew how devious and scary Hotaru can be.

When the deadly scene had finally subsided, meaning when Mikan had finally sat peacefully across Hotaru to talk, the raven-haired felt as if her best friend was here to say something stupid yet again. Her sheepish grin told her so. She sighed inwardly. Now, what could it be this time?

"Hotaru," Mikan called eagerly.

"What?" Hotaru replied, uninterested. She knew her best friend's reply would be somewhere along the line: 'let's cook fried stone fish today!' or 'did you see that flying star last night? It practically smiled at me!' or 'Oh, Hotaru! I think my hair's being impolite nowadays! How come it doesn't go the way I want it to look? Mou!'.

Mikan's eyes beamed brightly as she started to open her mouth. Okay, here it goes...

"Let's make love!" Mikan exclaimed, completely esctatic.

Hotaru, who was half-way drinking her orange juice, almost choked upon her best friend's words. Make love, she said? Does she know what that phrase means? No, she doesn't. If she knows, she wouldn't dare to do it with Hotaru. She wouldn't dare. But then again, she's an idiot. Who knows.

Hotaru didn't make an urgent reply, so Mikan took it as an encouragement and a sign of interest. She began babbling about how she thought of it.

"Well, you see Hotaru, while I was reading a magazine last night, I happen to stumble upon that article about making love! It said there that making love is the ultimate way of showing one's affection and feelings, and I'd be more than willing to do it with you, since I love you so much, Hotaru!" she explained happily, totally unaware of what her words really meant.

Hotaru sighed inwardly. Make love with her? Yeah, right. Obviously, her best friend doesn't know anything about making love, and its procedures. Ugh.

When Hotaru didn't reply again, Mikan nudged her in the arm.

"Ne, Hotaru, what do you think?" she asked, eyes hopeful.

Just when Hotaru was about to decline and tell her best friend how stupid she is, she thought of an insanely ridiculous idea.

She smiled devilishly.

"I think you should ask Natsume," she answered as nonchalantly as possible.

Mikan twitched her eyebrows.

"Eh?! Why that evil Natsume?" she asked.

"Because it'll be better if you make love with him than with me."

Mikan puffed her cheeks childishly.

"But that jerk always bullies me and burns my hair!" she protested, "Isn't making love supposed to be with the one you love dearly?"

Hotaru smiled more evilly than before. It was so evil that it looked so scary.

"But then again, Mikan, if you ask him, he might stop bullying you. When love takes place, he might forget about bullying you," the raven-haired girl tried to reason out. Yeah, right. As if any of her saying is true.

"But making love is just for dear friends!"

"Why, Mikan, is he not your friend?"

That made Mikan think for quite some time. After a few moments though, she nodded as if she had understand everything, when in truth, she doesn't even know what every word she throws means.

"You're right, Hotaru. Natsume is a friend. And if making love with him would make things lighter for us, and perhaps we'll be closer and hopefully he'll stop bullying me, I'll ask him. It won't hurt to try, would it?" she said, eyes determined.

Hotaru nodded.

Mikan beamed yet again. "Yay! I'm a genius! To think I've finally found the resort between me and Natsume! Oh, Hotaru, you helped out a lot too! Thank you! I'll ask him right now. Just remember we'll make love as well after I'm done with Natsume, okay?" she asked excitedly.

Hotaru wanted to laugh. She wanted to laugh so badly that she felt her insides would burst at anytime. If you look closely at the words of her best friend, it sounded nasty. But hearing it come from her innocent tone, it sounded rather ridiculous and insanely hilarious. Oh, Hotaru has never felt so hard to stop her laughter before. Ever. But despite of it, she managed to give Mikan a sly smile and an reassuring answer: of course.

Mikan, greatly enthused by her best friend's assurance, quickly ran to where Natsume supposedly was. Unfortunately, the table he and his best friend, Ruka, was in, was so crowded with pathetic, desperate, and drooling fan girls. Typical scene.

Mikan felt the urge to punch the girls out because she believes those girls were fooling themselves over the jerk. But she can't let that ruin her spirit, right? She must ask him about it. She doesn't care if his annoying fan girls were on her way.

Pushing the fan girls aside with her hands, and that wasn't easy considering the whines and mad glares being thrown at her as she did so, she somehow made it to where Natsume is. She doesn't want to waste her time, so she immediately moved her face in front of the flame caster's, making Ruka slightly jump and the fan girls curse muttering about how shameless Mikan's action was (they're one to talk, huh?). Natsume, however, remained in his calm composure, though he almost dropped his fork with the feel of the brunette's breath on his face. Yeah, they're pretty close, about just inches away. Mikan couldn't care less, though.

"Ne, Natsume," Mikan called in a sing-song voice which annoyed the hell out of the fan girls.

"What do you want, idiot?" Natsume responded nonchalantly.

"Say," Mikan started and it piqued Natsume's curiousity a bit while the fan girls practically grumbled. "Can we make love?" the brunette asked out, loud and clear.




The sound of someone choking was heard, accompanied by the clanging of the fallen fork on the cold floor.


to be continued...


A/N: So what do you think? I just actually wrote it on a whim. This is my first attempt for a two-shot, or rather a three-shot. Tell me what you feel about it, all right?

Yes, tell me by reviews. Counting on it, all right?




PS: This is a rated-T fic so obviously, there'll be no extreme/smex scenes, alright? So rest assured everyone, this is a light fic.