Brian, the baby they called Brian,
he grew, he grew, and grew,
grew up to be, grew up to be,
a puppy called Brian. A puppy called Brian,
he had arms, and legs, and paws, and claws,
the puppy, whose name was Brian.

And he grew, he grew, grew, and grew,
grew up to be, yes, he grew up to be,
yes, his name was Brian, a dog called Brian.

And his fur became fluffy, yes, his fur became fluffy,
and his voice dropped down low,
and things started to grow, on young Brian and so,
he was certainly no, no bitch named Brian,
not a bitch named Brian.

And he started to scratch, and have one of the wrist,
and want to see bitches, and go out and get pissed,
an alcoholic called Brian, this alcoholic called Brian,
the alcoholic they called Brian, this man called
Briaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...