A/N: Hey, yeah I know it's been awhile but I had major writers block. However, I have some new ideas for this story so expect quicker updates from now on!! I'm sorry to keep you waiting guys! Review please.
I could feel it coming. My whole body felt like it was on fire and it was trembling without my control. I felt eyes on the back of my head, everyone was staring at me yet again. I was scared of moving in case I exploded in front of them and I didn't want them to know the monster that I had become.
But I knew I needed to move... fast. I needed to get away, as far away as possible before the animal inside me erupted and exposed what I really was.
I watched Sam and Emily run down the beach and looking back at me as if I was some psycho on the loose. But I was a psycho. I was a drunk mess that had finally hit rock bottom. Where the hell was my dignity? Oh yeah, I lost it six weeks ago when I let them four bastards ride me like sea biscuit.
I could hear Jacob breathing hard behind me and he was probably wondering what the hell was happening with me. I wanted so badly to tell someone what was going on with me but I knew no one would understand.
I tried to steady my breathing, I tried anything that would calm the animal inside me but I knew it was too late. I was much too angry to calm down and tame the beast. I felt a hand grip my arm and spin me around. I looked into Jacob's eyes that were filled with fear and concern. What on earth does he think of me now?
"Leah?" He said in a plea.
I opened my mouth to speak but the fire in my body choked me up. His hand was shaking with my body and he gave me a concerned look. I had to run, it was the only thing left to do.
"I... gotta go..." I managed to say and I could see that his concern for me was growing.
Before he could say anything else, I took his hand of my arm and ran down the beach as fast as I could without looking back.
People gasped as I sped past them. I felt like a freak escaping the circus. The trembling was getting worse because of them, their disgusted stares made me angrier. But in all honesty, I was angry mostly at myself for being a complete failure at life.
Why did I have to drink so much? Why did I always embarrass myself? Why was I always so angry? There was only one answer to all three questions and his name was Sam.
That bastard had broken, stomped and took a shit on my heart and felt no remorse for doing it. He had a perfect life with his precious Emily now while I was left with nothing. He made me do things I never would have done, I just wished I could get amnesia and he would be out of my mind for good.
I noticed how whenever I thought of Sam, the fire and the trembling would get worse.
Try to think of something else. Anything till you get near that forest... I told myself.
I was running faster than I ever thought possible and I wasn't even out of breath despite me smoking like a chimney. I had picked up new abilities yet I didn't give a damn about any of them, I just wanted to be a normal girl again.
The forest was now clear in view and the fire and the anger grew and grew. It was about to happen, any minute now I was going to explode into the monster.
One foot entered the forest and I counted to three.
Before I even got to three I screamed and then that was it, my skin and clothes came flying off and were replaced by fur. My hands and feet were now claws and my face had turned to a huge muzzle.
I stopped near a tree and I wanted to cry but instead it came out in a disgusting howl.
When I touched her arm, I felt it. The trembling I was all too familiar with. I looked into her eyes and there was nothing but fear and confusion in them, something else I was familiar with. I knew there was something, I just knew it. How did I not see it before?
"Jake are you OK?" Bella asked me which brought me out of my thoughts.
"I've gotta go after her..." I said to myself more than Bella.
"OK, I'll wait here for you." She said as she stroked my arm.
I looked down at it and a twinge came to my stomach. Just the touch of her arm was enough to send me butterflies and it annoyed me so much that I still had feelings for her.
But I knew there was no time to think about that right now, my main worry was Leah.
"When I get back I'll take you home." I told her.
She nodded and I sprinted down the beach after Leah.
Despite her telling me to give up on her, I knew I couldn't. She needed someone to be there for her, to help her through all the shit. I was still confused as to why I even gave a damn but after the past two days we had spent together, I suddenly felt very protective of Leah.
No wonder she had been such a mess, having to deal with this "problem" all by herself. Maybe that was why she left? Because she couldn't deal with it or was too ashamed. Maybe she thought she was the only one? She was going to get a shock if she thought that.
I could smell her perfume very strongly and it helped me know where she had ended up. I stopped just before the forest and took a deep breath. I wondered whether I should phase or not. Should I help her in human or wolf form? In case I was wrong, I decided not phase and quickly ran into the forest.
Something on the floor caught my eye, there were clothes ripped to shreds everywhere. Leah's clothes. I was right, she was one of us and she had been keeping it from me this whole time. But how could this be possible? She was a female. I thought only males turned into a wolf? How the hell is she going to cope when she finds out who the alpha is?
That poor girl... I thought. My heart was wrenching for her, she must feel so alone right now.
"Leah!" I shouted hoping she would hear me and appear. I looked around me but there was nothing in sight. I wasn't going to give up so I started to rip my clothes off and go looking for her the better way. But after I threw off my shirt, someone called my name.
"Jacob?" I turned around to see Paul, Embry and Jared looking at me strangely.
"What are you doing?" Embry asked.
I didn't want them to know what was going on with Leah, It wasn't my place to tell them.
"I was just trying to find Leah so I was going to phase and take a short cut."
"O...K..." Paul said looking at me with suspicion.
It was a very good job I hadn't phased in case any of them heard my thoughts. I wanted to carry on looking for her but I knew that I had to get back in case people were suspicious. No one would have known what was happening to her just by looking at her anyway. It was only until I touched her arm that I knew myself.
I knew that no one was in wolf form right now and I sighed in relief because if anyone was, they would know instantly who had joined our pack. I wanted to talk to Leah first before anyone else knew. I wanted to protect her.
I joined Bella back at the beach and she smiled as she saw me approaching. Why was she so happy to see me? Wasn't having a "perfect" blood sucker enough for her? She must have known deep down that being friends with her wasn't enough for me. But despite her playing with my heart strings, I wanted her in life in any form possible. I was always going to love Bella.
"Hey, ready for me to take you home?" I asked.
"Yeah but Jake, Edward is picking me up from the halfway point so you can just drop me off there. If that's OK?"
And there it was, the punch in my heart that I should have been expecting. I had let my guard down and now I was hurting again. This girl was driving me crazy.
"Uh, yeah sure." I managed to say but really I wanted to scream at her and tell her to get rid of the leech for good and pick me, but I knew that was never going to happen.
We got in my car and I turned the engine on. I was bracing myself for the leach in my presence. It took all the strength inside me not to phase right there and then in the car.
"So what's wrong with your truck anyway? How come you didn't drive that here?" I asked while I drove.
"It... needs fixing. Something in the bonnet is missing." She said all too quickly.
I always knew when she was lying to me and I felt confused, what was she hiding from me that was so bad?
"Do you want me to look at it for you sometime?" I felt stupid after I had said it because I knew I was just giving myself false hope. I wanted to cling on to any time with her I had.
"Yeah, that would be great thanks."
She smiled at me and I had to quickly look away. If only my guard would come back up...
All too soon, we reached the halfway point and I could see the leeches Volvo parked across the street. I gripped the steering wheel with such force that I could have broken it off. I couldn't see him but just knowing that he was there staring this way made me feel physically sick.
"I'll see you soon Jacob, we need to hang out more often OK? Don't be a stranger." She then leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes as I felt her lips touch me and the twinge inside me got worse. It took everything I had to stop myself from turning around and planting a full kiss on her lips.
"Goodbye Bella." I said and with that she got out of the car and walked towards the leech.
I didn't want to linger and see her get in his car, it hurt too damn much. So I pressed my foot down on the gas pedal and did a complete U turn so fast that the car screeched.
All the way home I thought about nothing about her. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just give up? Damn it, I wanted to so bad but I was fighting a losing battle. I pulled up outside my house but I didn't get out of the car. I just sat there arguing with myself in my head on what an idiot I had been.
"You're such a fucking idiot!" I screamed at myself as I banged the steering wheel with my fists. After I had had my tantrum, I lay back in my seat and closed my eyes and tried to think of something else. Then... it hit me.
While I was wasting time feeling sorry for myself, there was someone out there that needed my help. Someone who was having a lot more problems than me and I knew it was time to pull my head out of my ass for a few minutes and look for her.
But as I was about to get out of my car, I saw someone creeping out of the woods. The sky was so dark that it was hard to see but I knew who it was instantly. She was covering herself with her arms, she was completely naked and she was creeping across the road as fast as she could. I watched her run down the road and turn a corner to her street. I didn't know if I should go after her or not, she would be at home now with her mother and I couldn't talk to her while Sue was there. I eventually got out of my car and headed to my house, first thing in the morning I was going straight to the Clearwater's and I was going to have it out with Leah.
I parked up outside her house and walked up the porch. I rang the doorbell and Sue answered.
"Hey, is Leah here?" I asked.
"Hey Jake, no dear I think she went for a walk on the beach. The poor girl has been having a few problems lately and think she's just trying to clear her head." Sue said and it sounded like she was trying to hold back a cry. I felt incredibly sorry for her.
"I'm sorry Sue." Was all I could say and she forced a smile at me.
I drove to the beach and I could see her standing right near the edge of the sea with the wind blowing in her hair. I quickly walked up behind her but I was suddenly lost for words. What the hell was I going to say?
"Hey." I finally said and she slowly turned around to face me. She looked so lost and upset.
"What do you want?" She said not sounding pleased to see me.
"I need to talk to you."
"Yeah well I don't feel like talking."
I moved closer to her so we were at eye level.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" I said.
"Uh, no. Even if there was do you think I'd tell you?" She said bitterly to me.
"Cut the bitch act Leah and just tell me what's going on."
"You know what."
"Just leave me alone Jake." She said as she went to walk away from me but I quickly grabbed her and she looked at me with fury. "Get off me." She said through her teeth.
"No, not until you tell me what's going on with you."
"You know what's going on."
"There's more to it."
"No there isn't!"
"Damn it Leah!"
This girl sure knew how to wind people up. She was so incredibly stubborn and bitter that I just felt like shaking her till she snapped out of it. I knew that she wasn't going to give in so I just had to come out with it.
"Look, I know..." I said looking her deep in the eye trying to see some kind of surprise from her but there was none.
"You know what?" She said not sounding confused or threatened.
"I know what you're secret is."
"Jake, you're full of shit!" She said as she ripped my hand off her arm.
"Fine, I'll prove it."
I dragged her to the forest and she was kicking and screaming all the way but I just ignored it. When I finally let go of her, she turned around to look at me with nothing but anger written all over her face.
"Sam and Emily." I said very simply and I saw the change in her face instantly, it was hurting her.
"Sam left you for Emily."
"I mean it Jake, shut the fuck up."
"He left you for your own damn cousin."
"I'm warning you..."
"And now they're happy and you're miserable."
Then within seconds, she exploded and my evidence was there. She had turned into a silver wolf and it was looking at me fiercely.
"I knew it."
The wolf growled at me and it looked like it was ready to strike.
"You're not alone Leah, watch this."
I ripped off my clothes in front of her, not caring that she was seeing me completely naked and I exploded too.
"See? You're not the only freak in this town." I said to her in my head.
"Oh. My. God."