Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all characters in the Twilight Series. Rated M (17+) for later chapters.
Chapter 1: Hunger
"Jake, you've already had like eight slices!" I gazed in astonishment as my goofy best friend Jacob reached across the floor to where a nearly-empty pizza box lay opened and grabbed yet another slice of pepperoni and cheese.
"What? Bells, c'mon, I'm a growing wolf-boy…man…thing. I could probably finish off eight entire pizzas if I put my mind to it." He winked in my direction as he chomped off a huge bite. I turned my accusatory glare back towards the television, as the credits began to roll on the movie we had been watching.
For the past few months, the best part of my day had been whenever I was hanging out with Jacob. His friendly smile and loving hugs had become comforts to me. I loved every minute that I spent with him, even when he was being a dumb jerk. That was why I had reacted with such excitement yesterday when Charlie told me he would be going out of town for a week in order to update his police chief training and that I would have to stay at Jake's house. I told Charlie I was fine to stay at home by myself, but he insisted on calling Billy and asking him if I could stay here for the week. He thinks he leaves me alone too much and he probably didn't want me to be unsupervised around sharp objects. I didn't blame him. I had been consumed with my own sorrow and depression for the entirety of this past year. Ever since he left…
I quickly shook my head to clear the painful thought from my mind before the stabbing ache had a chance to inflict itself upon my chest. I glanced over towards Jake, who had devoured his pizza slice and was now half-buried in the deep freezer outside on the patio. A muffled cry came from his direction,
"Hey Bells, you like chocolate ice cream, right?" I smiled.
"Do you even have to ask?" He walked back into the house with a tub of ice cream and then disappeared into the kitchen. He re-emerged momentarily, grinning, and holding a large chocolate ice cream cone, complete with a large dollop of whipped cream and sprinkles on top. He handed me the cone,
"There you go, honey. Enjoy the Jacob Special, made for a real special girl!" He winked cheekily and then burst out laughing, "Sorry, that was too cheesy for even me to handle." I groaned and then thanked him for the ice cream.
Jake was such a nice guy, always looking out for me, but I felt guilty for spending so much time with him due to the fact that he had, on more than one occasion, told me he wanted to be more than just friends. Jacob liked me. Actually, he loved me. And although he had made his case perfectly clear as to why I would be much better off being with him than, well, anyone, I couldn't deny to him that I was in love with someone else. Someone who had left me cold and broken, but would always have a permanent hold on my heart.
As we finished up our ice creams I noticed myself beginning to yawn. I was completely exhausted. We had spent almost the entire day on the back roads in the Quileute woods, Jake teaching me some tips on how to ride my motorcycle like a pro. I warned him that I'd be better off just sticking to learning how to stay on the bike itself, but he liked to challenge me (a.k.a. watch me make a fool out of myself and then laugh). It had been a scorching hot day and the blazing sun had left me completely devoid of energy.
"Hey sleepy," he murmured as he gently stroked my face, pushing away the hair that had fallen as my head drooped. "C'mon, let me show you where you'll be crashing tonight." He grabbed my arms and slowly pulled me up off the floor and hugged me close to him.
"I hope you don't mind," he said, "but you'll be sleeping in my room. It's the only bed left in the house, other than my Dad's, now that my sisters have moved out."
After a short walk down the hall, he grabbed the handle of a closed door and slowly turned it.
"And I put new sheets on and everything, so, um, no worries there." He said with a coy smile, like he was chuckling at his own private thoughts. He pushed open the door and motioned for me to step inside.
As my weary and half-closed eyes scanned around his bedroom I wasn't at all surprised at what I saw. His room was probably the tiniest I'd ever seen, especially since tiny was the last word that would come to mind when looking at Jake. I felt a twinge of pity when I realized that his two older sisters had probably laid claim to the two larger, yet still quaint, bedrooms. Still, as I glanced around his room my groggy condition did not distract me from noticing that everything inside the space screamed 'Jacob.' Posters of various rock bands covered the walls and dirty clothing and shoes littered the floor.
At the far side of his room (which, unfortunately for him, was a mere few steps away from the doorway where we both stood) there was a small bed covered with a messy array of white sheets and a large flat pillow. The only window in the room was broken and the refreshing autumn breeze wafted gently inside. As I continued to survey the space I suddenly felt a pair of large warm hands brush along my waist as Jacob gently squeezed around me and stepped into his room.
"Umm, sorry about the mess, Bells," he said as he nervously started picking up scattered pieces of clothing and haphazardly tossing them into a nearby hamper, "I haven't really had anyone in here before. Well, except for Quil and Embry, but they're even messier than me so they don't even notice all of this." He gestured embarrassingly to the unfolded sheets and scattered clothing. I laughed nervously, as one usually does when seeing a friend's bedroom for the first time.
"Hey Jake, no problem. This is perfect." I yawned, exhausted from the busy day. He must have noticed I was fading fast because he quickly rearranged the sheets on his bed and retrieved another fresh pillow from the closet. He softly grabbed my hand and pulled me inside his room.
"You should get some sleep. You had a long day and I don't want you to be tired for your ride to school tomorrow. You cause enough trouble for me, and yourself, on a bike when you're one hundred percent alert. I'm pretty sure Dr. Cullen's practice would crumble if he didn't have Miss Accident-Prone Swan around to keep the business coming in."
I inhaled sharply at the mention of that name. Jacob, his eyes suddenly in a panic, caught my reaction and then dropped his head to the ground.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking. I was just trying to make you laugh and then all of a sudden it just sort of spilled out and …"
But I could no longer focus on his apologetic voice. I stood there, in shock, because the pain I had been bracing for, the pain I had come to expect whenever that name was uttered, did not come. Instead, I felt a strangely warm glow resonating in my chest. I looked up at Jacob, who had finished his frantic apology and was now gauging my expression, and smiled weakly.
"No, Jake, it's okay, really. I don't want you to have to censor your thoughts when you're around me. It's not fair to ask that of someone."
I was still puzzled by the warmth I felt inside of me. I glanced down at my hand to realize that he had a firm hold on it. I smiled again. I was so grateful to have Jacob. Someone who stood by me through all of my issues, my heartbreak, my hopeless desires. He was somebody special, that's for sure.
I looked up at his tentative expression and flashed him the widest smile I could muster up. He raised one eyebrow suspiciously at my unexpected gesture and then broke into that beautifully gleaming smile that I had come to appreciate and love so much during these last few months.
As he smiled at me I became faintly aware of my heart coming to life inside my chest. Beating happily once again. I knew in my mind that our relationship was strictly platonic, one of mutual dependency. So then why did my heart suddenly feel strong and alive once again?
"Bella, seriously, you should lie down. You look like you're about to fall over." Jacob, still grinning, pulled my hand towards him assertively until my body was up against his. He looked deeply into my eyes and smiled gently.
I could feel his warm skin radiating against my body as he reached his free hand up towards my face and began softly stroking my cheek. My heartbeat steadily increased as he slowly continued to caress my cheek, my jaw, my neck. Despite his blazing touch I shivered slightly and could feel goose bumps rising on my skin. This shouldn't be right. I loved somebody else. And how could I betray a love so great even though I knew the one would never be in my presence again? I slowly inhaled a deep breath and pulled away.
"Yeah, well, goodnight, I guess. Where will you sleep?" I asked. Jacob, obviously disappointed at my sudden retreat but undoubtedly accustomed to my rejection, sighed and then half-smiled.
"Oh, I'll just take the couch in the living room. I can leave my door open if you'd like." He gestured to his bedroom door.
"Yeah, I'd like that actually," I laughed, "I'm used to falling asleep amidst the soothing sounds of your thunderous snoring." He chuckled.
"Ha ha, very funny. Well at least I don't mumble in my sleep. I feel sorry for the people who have to deal with that." I rolled my eyes and then pushed him playfully out of the room.
"Get out of here, wolf! Leave the human in peace." He reluctantly made his way out the door.
"Night Bells. Let me know if you need anything at all. I'll be right out here, honey." He winked.
As his footsteps retreated away from the bedroom, I sighed quietly to myself and turned towards the tiny bed. I was tired. I made my way across the room, flipped off my shoes and then looked down at myself. My clothing was a bit disgraceful. I had dirt covering the majority of my shirt and my jeans weren't exactly the most comfortable attire for a good night's sleep. I turned towards the door and called out,
"Hey Jake? Could I maybe borrow a T-shirt to sleep in or something?" I heard the rattle of jars and the rustle of packages in the distance. It was obvious that he was grabbing yet another snack before heading to bed. Man, this guy could eat. He quickly answered my call, his voice muffled as he was likely buried chest-deep inside the refrigerator.
"Yeah sure, Bells! All of my clean stuff is in the top drawer. Just grab whatever you need." I spotted the set of dresser drawers and proceeded to pull the top one open. Inside was an assortment of folded T-shirts, socks, and shorts. I grabbed his smallest looking plain white T-shirt (which was still about three sizes too big for me) and a pair of dark blue plaid boxer shorts. As I quickly changed out of my clothing and into his I chuckled to myself as I pulled on the boyish boxer shorts. Now here's something I never thought I'd be wearing, I thought humorously to myself.
The sun had all but set as I finally climbed into the tiny bed. It was extremely comfortable, despite its tattered appearance and even though the sheets were clean they smelled distinctly like Jake. A perfect mixture of pine needles, spicy cologne, and motor oil. I pulled the only sheet cover up over my body and as soon as my head hit the pillow I felt myself laze into a much-needed slumber.
What felt like a couple of hours later, I awoke suddenly to find myself shivering and shaking violently. The single thin bed sheet that had once felt adequate was no longer enough to keep my body temperature at a comfortable level now that the sun had descended well below the horizon. My teeth chattered together noisily as I attempted to curl my body up into a tight ball while simultaneously scanning the dark room for any sign of a blanket. I heard quiet footsteps approaching the door and then Jacob's head poked into the room.
"Bells, you okay? What's all the fuss about?" Once he saw my tiny body shivering uncontrollably, his face turned from humorous to guilt.
"Oh damn it, Bella. You're freezing! Shit, I forgot I broke that window last week. Wolf-related accident," he said as I raised an eyebrow. "Damn, I should have known that it would be too cold for you in here. I'm an idiot." He rushed inside the door and approached the bed where I shakily rested.
"Jake, hey, it's n-no problem. I just woke up a second ago when I realized how c-cold I was. And don't feel guilty about it. How could you possibly know I would freeze to death in here, your skin is practically on fire." He looked relieved but also concerned as he rushed over to his dresser and began searching through every drawer.
"What are you d-d-doing?" I asked. He replied sarcastically,
"Um, I'm looking for the lost city of Atlantis. Jeez, Bella, what do you think I'm doing? I'm trying to find you a sweater or something." He looked at me with such a smug grin on his face that, despite my coldness, I couldn't help but laugh.
I watched him carefully as he continued to search through his cluttered room for any signs of clean, warm clothing. I couldn't believe how grown-up he looked now. He must be six feet tall, at least. As the light from the glowing hallway lit up his matured facial features it was almost impossible to imagine that he was younger than me: with those dark, deep-set, thoughtful eyes; his strongly defined cheek bones and jaw line; his full, slightly-parted lips. His body had also matured substantially in the last few months. His formerly loose T-shirts now clung to his perfectly sculpted and muscular chest, that is, when he decided to wear a shirt at all. Must be a wolf thing, I thought to myself. The sound of Jacob's deep, husky voice suddenly broke through my fleeting observations.
"Ah, I'm sorry, Bella, but it looks like all of my sweaters are dirty and Billy took all the blankets we have over to the campfire at Sue Clearwater's earlier tonight. I could run over and get them though, I'm sure they can all just move a little bit closer to the fire…" I managed to force a chuckle through my chattering teeth.
"Yeah, everyone should risk g-g-getting burned alive just so Bella can be a b-bit more comfortable. Jake, please, I'm f-f-fine. I c-can handle it. I'm sure I'll be sound asleep again before I even k-know it." He raised one eyebrow and then slowly walked towards his bedroom door. Instead of leaving, though, he gently pushed the door to a close and tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a rather impish grin that appeared at the corner of his mouth.
"Well," he grinned as he inched towards the bed, "I can think of another way to keep warm." He gently crept onto the foot of the bed and then crawled lightly up the mattress until he was at my back. I laughed.
"Jake, g-get your m-mind out of the gutter! God, y-you're such a guy." He paused his movement and then looked at me mockingly.
"Jeez Bella, I only meant I was going to lie down next to you. Wow, somebody thinks a little highly of themselves, don't they?" He laughed infectiously.
"Shut up, Jake!" I couldn't help but snicker at his quick wit and then I reached around and playfully punched him in the chest. Whoa, rock hard.
"Oh, God, that hurts so much," he said with sarcasm as he dramatically clutched at his chest. "Jeez Bells, you should really take some self-defence classes or something. There's no way in hell you'd win if you ever had to fight somebody off." He was smiling, smirking rather, at my apparent incompetence.
"Yeah," I spat back at him, "and you would know a little something about that, now wouldn't you, Jacob?" The image of him once restraining my hands and then leaning in to kiss me while I fought against him popped annoyingly into my mind.
"Sure, sure," he teased. "But don't you remember what happened when you punched, well, tapped me really, in the face? You wound up in the emergency room with a broken hand. Yeah, you'd better watch out, you could really hurt somebody next time." My jaw dropped in offence. He had some nerve.
"You are such…a…jerk!" As I spit out the last words my fist threw three hard jabs into his arm with as much force as I could muster.
A strange and sudden glint sparked in Jacob's eyes. He raised one eyebrow and a devious-looking smirk appeared on his face. All of a sudden his arms shot up from his sides and before I knew it they were wrapped around me, holding me down like vice grips.
I kicked my legs with all my might in a wasted effort to free myself from his imprisoning hold. In response, he managed to wrap one of his strong, muscular legs around both of mine and I struggled against his surprising strength to no avail. I couldn't help myself; I just started giggling like a six-year-old. I wondered if part of the reason why I felt so utterly weak and helpless was because I was expelling the majority of my energy through my uncontrollable laughter. Or maybe he just had the strength of a fully-grown wolf.
I couldn't believe what was happening: an eighteen-year-old woman and a gigantic werewolf-boy playfully wrestling each other and enjoying every single immature and childish moment of it. That's why I loved Jake so much, I just felt completely comfortable around him.
"You're mine now, honey," he taunted deviously through his strained jaw and teeth. I, still struggling against his hold on me, spat back at him,
"You wish I was yours, wolf." I sensed that my choice of words hit him a little too close to home because as the wrestling match spurred onward I could feel his hold on me tighten and his movements get slightly more rough. He never actually hurt me at all, he himself had once promised he would never do so, but I could feel the intensity of the moment start to build up with every slight movement.
I was more than warm enough now, in fact, I could feel tiny droplets of sweat beginning to glisten on my face, neck, and chest. As our initial laughter quickly died down, I suddenly found myself caught in his piercing eyes. They were gorgeous: brilliant russet brown and sparkly. I quickly noticed him staring at me with a striking expression on his face.
In the past, I had seen Jacob look at me with a range of different emotions; from mocking, to loving, to painstakingly devastated. Yet, I hadn't often acknowledged this particular look from him before, but it was easy enough to recognize: longing, want, need.
I could feel my heartbeat accelerating with each split second that his eyes pierced mine, my breathing becoming sharper and more ragged. His eyes then slowly moved down my face until his gaze reached my lips, where it held for a moment, and then he glanced back up into my eyes. My heart raced as I, too, cast my gaze downwards at his slightly-parted lips. I could feel his trembling body against me, though I'm quite positive it wasn't because he was about to transform.
Our heavy breathing was in sync as we stared into each other's eyes, faces so close they were almost touching. His eyes closed as he slowly inched towards me, his blazing forehead now resting stickily on my own.
"Bella…" He leaned in further and I could feel the pulse of his ample lips as they ever so slightly brushed up against mine. I was suddenly more nervous than I had felt in a very long time. Not since E- ...
"Jake!" I shouted abruptly and recoiled away from him. His eyes snapped open and looked at my reaction with surprise.
"What?" He responded quickly, puzzled by my sudden change of heart.
"Um, you're crushing me," I lied.
"Oh! Sorry…" He abruptly, yet reluctantly, released his iron clad hold on me with a look of defeat in his eyes.
I rolled away from him on the bed and tried to comprehend what had just happened. We were wrestling playfully then things got, well, serious. My revelation didn't sound as complicated as I thought it would and, the strange thing was, I really wasn't shocked at what had occurred, physically. I mean, Jake had been confessing his head-over-heels love for me for months now and, plus, he was a seventeen-year-old guy so I'm sure there was some part of him that desired me in that way. The thing that truly shocked me was how I had reacted, emotionally.
How could I have let things go so far? I mean, we had almost kissed… and willingly this time. No… I am in love with someone else. And I always will be. Once you find your true love you will never stop loving them, forever. That's how all the stories go, isn't it? But does that mean it is also impossible to love another? I felt a twinge of guilt as the words ran through my head. My heart had been taken by someone else, literally. So how come I could now hear it beating again, whenever I was around J- …
"Bella?" Jacob's voice made me jump slightly. "Is everything alright? You haven't spoken for like five minutes." I turned towards him slightly.
"Hi. Yes, I'm okay. Just lost in my own thoughts, sorry." I looked warily into his eyes and was relieved to see that the intense look of longing had, for now, faded, and that they now glimmered with a subtle reflection of the radiating love he had for me. I smiled at him timidly and then lightly poked him in the stomach.
"Well, I guess I won that round. I'm free aren't I?" I smirked at him and was mesmerized by the stunning smile he gave back to me.
"Rematch?" He asked hopefully, but he already knew my answer.
"Another night." I smiled and hoped that he wouldn't take my unintentionally flirtatious words as an open invitation to grab me and pin me down roughly whenever he felt particularly 'longing.' At least, I think I hoped that. My racing heartbeat, sweat-laden forehead, and tingling body seemed to suggest something different. But I ignored those signs, for now.
"I should probably try and sleep a bit more," I remarked even though I was no longer the least bit tired, "and I'm feeling a bit cold again. If you'd like to stay here with me, that is."
At this moment, I found myself more worried than ever that my constant rejection might discourage Jacob from spending more time with me. My fears were quickly alleviated as he cracked that all-too-familiar smile.
"Well, I am your personal space heater, right? Jeez, I should charge my services by the hour. I'd be freakin' rich." I laughed and then rolled over to my side, away from him, and he kept a safe distance lying behind me, but still close enough for me to feel the radiating heat coming off of his body.
I closed my eyelids, hoping that sleep would come, but all I could picture were his piercing eyes and the way they seemed to hunger for me, much like the way I hungered for something that Edward had always denied me. A hunger within me that grew with each passing moment I spent with Jake.
This is bad, Bella. Very bad…
Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly welcomed, as this is my first FanFic.
Make sure you stay tuned for the hot wolfy sex...