Dean sat on the edge of his bed in the motel room and stared at the bed, the empty bed, which was situated in his line of vision. Sammy was gone, off somewhere with Ruby probably. Ever since his incident with Alastair, Sam and Ruby seemed almost inseparable. Going off and doing God knows what.
Dean didn't even know he was crying until he felt a hot tear slide painfully from his eyes. He wanted to stop them but they just kept coming, faster and faster. His breath was being taken from him and he had to inch himself to the floor in order to sustain his weight.
Why? He thought that he could deal with the blow that it was his fault this was all happening, thought that if he focused his all into putting an end to it like Cass said that he would be able go on moving. But the pain in his chest was telling him otherwise. That he wasn't okay, not at all.
It wasn't like he could talk to Sammy about this either, he didn't know. He would never find out if Dean couldn't help it, and by God he was going to make sure he never did. Because he didn't think he could bear going on living if Sammy knew, knew that all of this, the pain and suffering, was entirely his fault. No. He would go on pretending for Sammy's sake, because he was all that mattered.
Dean nearly jumped 20 feet into the air when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, a hand that formed perfectly over the burn mark on his arm. Green orbs looked up into crystalline Blue orbs. Castiel. He was kneeling in front of Dean, one arm raised to his mark, the other on his right shoulder. Dean sucked in a breath when he noticed that a single tear had escaped those beautiful Blue depths, a tear that was being shed for him. He didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve to have an Angel crying over him. That's when he lost it. Sobs wracked his frame as he jumped headlong into his sorrow. He felt Castiel pull at him and gave into it. His head fell onto Cass 'shoulder and his arms wrapped themselves around his waist.
"I can't do this Cass, I can't…"
"I'm sorry Dean."
This came from two things: I was watching On the Head of A Pin again(my favorite episode of Supernatural) and just couldn't help but feel that Dean had to have had a break down later on with the burden of Alastairs reveltaion. So I sat down and started to write this, which in turn started to form into a way for me to vent. Reason 2: My father is going into surgery on Tuesday to have a biopsy done on this horrid growth that is on his thigh (not to mention that he has a pinched never in his foot on the same leg) so this was an extention of my own feelings of trying to be strong for my baby sister, I am soo thankfull for my best friend Tim who called me up and told me it was okay to cry so yeah.. thats the story behind this.
I had to Beta this myself so if there are any spelling errors please let me know!! (I don't care so much for grammer and what not). The title comes from the song Breathe Me by Sia, another awesome inspiration to this fic. I'd recomend reading this while listening to the song :)
Reviews strongly appreciated!!!