I don't know what came over me last night. I'd never wanted to kiss Jake like I had wanted to yesterday and I'd never been the jealous kind. I felt so stupid for acting so childishly about Jessica, I shouldn't have gotten jealous...wait, jealous? Jealousy is something you get when you have feelings for someone, it wouldn't make sense for me to be jealous unless... unless I were in love with Jake!
This train of thought tortured me all day, before I knew it I was at Sam and Emily's at noon like always.
"Hi Bella," Emily answered the door, smiling at me oddly. I didn't know what to make of this smile; it was as if she knew something amusing that I didn't. "Come on in, Jake's not here but he'll get here soon. He's out with Quil."
I walked in, "Out? What do you mean?"
"I mean they're practicing," she said shutting the door and going back to the kitchen.
I walked to the living room, worried because I knew "practicing" meant they were fighting and no matter how many times they told me it was harmless I didn't get over how violent and dangerous it seemed. I found Embry and Sam sitting in the living room and I sat in an empty couch.
Embry grinned at me like Emily had, only worse. "Hey Bella, how are you?"
I nodded, "Good."
"I bet...," Embry smiled slyly and Sam punched his arm.
"Be mature," he growled.
Embry massaged the spot he'd been punched at as if it hurt, "Ow, can't I be happy for them? I mean Jake's been wanting this for years. His dreams finally coming true."
"No, you can't be happy for them if you're going to act like a child," Sam muttered seriously.
I stared at them in confusion, "What are you guys talking about? Happy for who?"
"For you and Jake," Embry answered happily.
"What? Why should you be happy for us?"
"Ha Jake hasn't stopped thinking about last night," he blurted out. Sam looked at him with impatience and I blushed as I realized that they all probably knew about our almost-kiss. When you were with one it's like you were with all of them.
"Oh... er," I didn't know what to say.
"Bella, it's fine. You don't have to explain anything to us, we understand that it's all between the two of you. At least most of us do," Sam glared at Embry, and Embry looked disappointed.
"Well whatever, I'm glad you two are finally moving forward," Embry got up and picked me up in a bone-crushing hug.
"Embry, thanks but-ow," I struggled. I saw the door open past his shoulder and in came Quil and Jake, both shirtless as usual and both looking exhausted.
Jake's stare found me, being crushed by Embry; he smiled softly and shook his head as he walked to the kitchen to get some food. Within seconds Embry let go, realizing they had come in. I breathed normally again and watched Jake, Quil, Embry, and Emily in the tiny kitchen. I realized that being around Jake now made me feel... awkward, or more like shy.
I sat back down and waited for the pack to come back. They all came and sat and finally Jake walked into the living room, sitting on the armchair of the sofa I sat on as he ate.
"Hey Bells," he said warmly, and there was a hint of that sly smile I'd seen on everyone's face so far. I had to look away because for some reason I felt flustered under his stare.
I tried focusing on the conversations but I couldn't quite process anything. All I could hear were noises because I was too anxious to focus. Eventually I couldn't just sit there. I got up and went outside, faintly aware that everyone had just been staring at me in confusion.
I paced a little, glad to be getting fresh air at last. Then I heard footsteps in the gravel behind me. I abruptly turned around and caught my breath when I saw Jake. I tried ignoring this.
"Jake, about last night…," I found that I wasn't sure what I should say. He looked at me quietly but there was a little bit of innocent excitement in his eyes. "…I'm uh sorry about overreacting about the whole Jessica thing." I saw a glimpse of confusion in his face, "I don't know what came over me, honestly."
He chuckled, "I think I have an idea." He stepped towards me and took hold of my hand. "Are you doing anything today?"
I shook my head and he grinned, "Good, I can have you all to myself." He hugged me sweetly and we went back in.
The whole day I couldn't get away from him. He held my hand whenever possible and occasionally put his arm around me. He always did this but now it was different. Jake also hugged me very often and I couldn't help but blush whenever he'd kiss my forehead or cheek. He stayed by my side when we ate, when all sat down and talked, even when we were at La Push. I didn't mind.
The air was cool at La Push, especially now at sunset. We were all sitting by a fire, talking. I listened to their werewolf hunt stories.
"It latched onto Embry here and the poor guy was yelping like crazy but I got a good grip on its neck and bit really hard," Quil was telling the story of them hunting a vampire enthusiastically but I kept wincing at the violent train of events.
"Yeah don't make it seem like you were the hero! You couldn't even rip off its head. Jake had to come in and save you, right Sam," Embry said.
Sam was sitting across them with Emily by his side. He nodded, "It was teamwork. We all needed to participate. If it hadn't been for Jake though, you would've received a lot more damage," he said looking at Quil.
Quil scoffed, "He's no hero either. Right after he slammed it on the ground it got right back up and practically tore off his ear."
I winced at Jake's side, "Is that true? You didn't tell me."
Jake laughed, "Because you didn't have to know. I knew you would've worried for no reason, I'm all better see?" He turned his head to show me his ear. It was completely normal, no scars.
"Yeah Bella we all have to take in several scratches but it's fine. We're prepared for it," Sam explained.
I remembered my scratches at that moment and I sensed that Jake did too because he stiffened. They went on telling stories, mostly of practice and Jake always seemed to saving the day or getting really injured. I couldn't listen calmly. There was too much injury to Jake and it made me worry about Victoria.
"Bella would you like to take a walk," Emily asked, she'd realized I was uncomfortable. I nodded and got up with her. As we walked down the beach she caught me by surprised when she asked, "Do you love Jake?"
I stuttered a little bit, "I don't know."
She let out an exasperated sigh, "Still? From what Sam tells me, Jacob is crazy about you."
She observed my face as we walked, "…You do."
I looked at her in surprise, "What?"
"You do love him. You know you do, you're just unwilling to admit it. I see it in the way you look at him and in the way you're always thinking of something else. I know Jake's on your mind."
I couldn't deny what she was saying but I couldn't accept it either.
Later that night I had been taken back home and I was in my room, safe with Jake. Or so I thought. As I looked out the window into the forest I had that feeling again, of being watched. I shivered, remembering the vampire stories.
"What's wrong?," Jake asked from the rocking chair he sat on.
I shook my head and went to my bed. He stood up and followed me, sitting beside me. "I know you. Something's wrong, what is it?"
I looked at him, eyebrows furrowed, "I-I'm scared." He instantly looked alarmed. "I can't shake this feeling that I'm being watched, all the time. Ever since Jessica's party. I'm so sure someone's watching me and what's worse is that I can't see them." I bit my lip, "What if it's… Victoria?"
He looked at me sympathetically, "I won't let anything happen to you. You know that."
I nodded, "Yeah, but…"
"You heard those stories. I can take good care of my pack; I can take care of you too."
I smiled at his ego. He stroked my hair and spoke softly, "I can though. I promise you, I'll protect you." He kissed my forehead and held me close. I sighed. Jake always knew how to comfort me. He always knew how to brighten up my day. I guess that's why he's my own personal sun.
"Jake…," I sighed.
He looked down at me, "Yeah?"
I stared at him, completely appreciating what he meant to me. Jake was my best friend, he was my protector, my comforter, my sun, my admirer… he had become my world. He was so innocently and completely devoted to me that I felt like I didn't deserve him.
I felt flustered again. I was incredibly happy to have Jake here. I breathed in deeply to catch my breath. Then I kissed him.
I hadn't planned it, I just did. I kissed him almost fiercely, basking in the warmth and softness that was his lips. I put so much force into it but he didn't seem overwhelmed. He just kissed me back passionately, surprisingly great. He put one large hand on my back and swiftly lay me down, kissing me all the while. I sighed and I felt him smile over me. I'd never felt so completely lost in a kiss, it was all a haze. I was faintly aware that he kept his hands on my sides and that I ran mine through his dark hair.
"Jake," it inadvertently came out in a moan and I saw him grin over me as we parted, he was smitten.
"….," I bit my lip, realizing what I was about to say, "I… I love you, Jacob."
His amused grin faded, he was speechless. I panicked when I noticed he looked sad. "Are you okay?"
The corners of his mouth formed a soft smile, "Am I okay? You-Bella, you have no idea how much I've wanted to hear that." He grinned and kissed me, "I love you, Bella."
He kissed me sweetly, gently. I was blissful with Jake's lips on mine, completely alone in my room.
Hey! Thanks for reading please review, I hope you liked this chapter but the story's not finished yet.